The word work has a number of meanings attached to it; some think relationships are work, some see parenting as thankless work, some see caring for an elderly parent as dutiful work, and I see my spiritual rituals as fulfilling work. But what we all generally associate with work is a job that will earn us the living we need to support ourselves and/or our dependents financially.
Now, thanks to my lovely mum and dad who let me doss at home and freeload for most of my life, I have stuck mostly to temping; moving from job to job, work place to work place and recruitment agency to recruitment agency, searching for some sort of fulfillment that the last job never give me.
And the majority of all this moving was because of a restless energy I was harbouring, which would bubble up inside me subtly at first (usually when I started a new job or course), then after a while it would become torrential and uncontrollable, and that was when I knew it was time to leave.
I have lived with this energy for most of my life (as far back as I can remember), but only became aware of it when I was doing self-development work.
There were times when I tried to suppress it and pretend I was okay in a situation that fought against my self-expression (like certain jobs), but then I would unconsciously create events that got me out of the situation in a way that seemed to "happen" to me.
For example, there was a job I was so bored out of my skull doing, I asked my recruitment consultant to find me another one, but she as good as threatened me to stay or I would get dropped by the agency, so I stayed (and felt trapped).
A week later I had a panic attack in the toilets and got sent home; I never returned to that job nor heard from that consultant again - I got dropped by the agency.
As I grew older, I showed no signs of settling down or taking on a permanent role, and that was because I was afraid I would stop enjoying the job three months down the line when the probationary period was over and I couldn't leave.
I had no clear direction career-wise, and my parents were beginning to worry (couldn't say I blamed them), especially when all around me my peers seemed to be getting on with their lives; finishing university, buying cars, taking out mortgages, having babies, getting married, while I was still living at home and skating around in a semicircle.
And as much as those commitments scared the hell out of me, I saw a certain level of success in what they had achieved, and felt an overwhelming guilt about disappointing my parents.
Until I found writing!Mid July 2005 was the next pivotal point in my life, because every job or course I had done up to that point had been experienced through a transparent amniotic sack of dullness I was purposelessly existing through.
But when I found writing, I burst into life! The liberating sense of freedom I felt every time I sat down to channel an idea was intense enough to hook me into addiction.
And I felt like the sack of dullness had popped open, and every emotion I had ever missed out on was overcompensated for by extra helpings of magnified excitement that blew my mind away, and I couldn't get enough!
There was no such thing as bordeom when I was writing, just a story that was "lacking", even that I would just work on and work at until I'd given it my all.
The overwhelming bubble was no longer restless, it was like a child set free to roam around a blooming garden, free-range, unrestricted and happy as hell.
It was a creative force that had no end and no beginning, joyfully dancing through me in an endless flow that took away any need to tame, suppress or control it.
Writing was an expression of my Being, who I was..., which took no time at all. I would get so consumed in the world of my characters that when I emerged, I had no recollection of what I had written until I proceeded to read back through it, and each time I was surprised (and grateful) that it had come from me!
So, going back to a repetetive job and having my creative brain cells killed off one by one was extremely difficult, and the more Self-development work I combined with my writing, the harder it became to pretend I wasn't dissatisfied in anything that didn't make use of my ability to create or desire to develop, especially in what I started calling my means-to-an-end jobs.
One day I decided to pack it all in, and persue a full-time writing career, but because of the nonexistent success of The Run: London's Secret I was under confident in my abilities and spent a long time seeking out writing partners to work with, hoping I could launch myself on the back of our combined projects. But ultimately they all fizzled out and I was left alone and frustrated again, every time.
I became desperate, broke, unproductive, and lost, and although I was doing what felt right for me, I wasn't making any money, and when I was making money it was doing something that didn't feel right for me, which put me off of going back to work even more.
So I started looking around for help to launch my career, but nobody was interested (once they found out I had no money or credibility), even when I offered free healing sessions (in exchange for contacts, help, or information), I was kept at arm's length like a suspicious peasant (which I felt like).
"What exactly am I doing wrong?" I screamed at the trees one dark afternoon, while sitting at the park bawling my eyes out and begging for guidance that was eluding me at home. That was when I received (clairaudiently) the following guidance from my straight talking Spirit Guide:
"What has happened to you girl? Why have you turned into such a waiter? What has happened to the go-getting, determined young lady who never saw an obstacle in life, but challenges she would get through? When did you turn into such a scared little birdie, perched on the edge of a branch afraid to fly? You have your wings, what are you waiting for? You have us to support you, so what is the worst that can happen? So, you might fall and graze a knee, but at least you'll get it over with and cross that off your list! You have the tools available, finely tuned abilities you don't make use of, and all the assistance anyone can ask for, but instead you spend your days using not having money as a disability. It was your choice to stop working, and since you are no longer happy with the results; do something about it!"
A week later, I started writing this book. And for a while I had to go back to temping so that I could make enough money to fund publishing it, but this time I wasn't floating about aimlessly waiting for my restless energy to alert me of when it was time to leave, I was working to reach a foreseeable end, which as you can see I reached!
So, even though I accused my means-to-an-end jobs of being meaningless, situations come bearing many gifts for growth, and if you go into a situation expecting your creative brain cells to get killed off one-by-one, then that is exactly what you will get (as I did).
While there are people out there earning a damn good living, living their truths (lucky sods), there are a fair few still pedaling to that end.
And for those guys, I would like to suggest that instead of getting rid of what may seem an "unspiritual" job (telesales, market research, data entry, selling boats) that you are only using for the money anyway, especially if you have dependants to support (and leaving will have you stressing out about money), bring spirituality into your job and make it how you want it to be.
Remember, it is a state of mind that you can take anywhere in the world without shipping costs, and the way you think will call to you whatever you want, so if you want a spiritual job, start by making your job spiritual and the rest will flow from there.
When it comes to earning a living proclaiming your truth, matters can get a little bit complicated if you unconsciously subscribe to a little known collective conscious floating about called "lack".
See, when I decided to become a Light worker (I said sod it, I want to live my truth!), I also unconsciously adopted poverty.
Have you ever noticed that people who earn a living doing spiritual work (healing, teaching, spreading the message - not all but a lot) seem to be earning a pittance, if anything at all, and are living from hand to mouth?
Well, this became apparent to me as well after a particularly busy week of meeting up with likemindeds, who gave me enlightened conversation, only to later touch on the subject of money and how we all seem to lack enough of it.
This also reminded me of society's particular collective beliefs about "Money vs God".
Let me give you an example of Charmed, in the series all three sisters (including Pru) had jobs, and they each had a magical power that combined to create collective power so immense, higher daemons were after it.
Basically, with that much power they could have created serious wealth for themselves and not had to juggle jobs and daemon fighting the way they did (even though that made great viewing).
However, they were not allowed to use their powers for what was called "personal gain", and they were the do-gooders.
Yet on the other side of the spectrum were daemons, who ran multinational corporations and were filthy rich, funding evil with their profits and enjoying wealthy lifestyles the sisters could only dream of, but they were the bad-doers right?
Now, exactly what does that say to you? To me, it says that if you want to become a do-gooder, you will have to supplement your income doing jobs you may or may not like, but basically you will have to split your time between living your truth and making ends meet financially, while not having enough time left to enjoy the important (and free) things in your life like quality time with your family.
That, to whatever level you manage to raise your consciousness, you cannot use those wonderful abilities to give yourself the good stuff like money (personal gain) because it will be taken away from you, and you might get punished for it too.
And you will have to put everyone but yourself first because that somehow proves you are a good person.
It also says that money (and the good life) lies in being evil and practicing bad stuff, that even if you have uncovered a wonderful way of earning a living, living your truth (healing, teaching, tarot reading) you might need to sell yourself short so that you don't get accused (or accuse yourself) of crossing over to the dark side.
This was said particularly well in The Preacher's Wife, where the tired, self-neglecting, overworked Pastor ran around town trying to restore other peoples' families while neglecting his own.
And when the broke church was offered financial assistance from Joe Hamilton, someone that the Pastor (and his wife) considered a traitor, because although he once belonged to the neighbourhood (and used to be broke also), he was now raking it in.
And they saw him as having crossed over to the dark side and betrayed God, that was their reason for refusing his financial assistance (or rather the offer to move to the new church).
Now, it seems to me that Light workers (and workers of God - same thing in some circles) may be under a bit of pressure to be lacking financially, because that somehow shows them to be more genuine (externally), even though they may be stressing out as hell about money behind closed doors.
And although the Pastor had prayed for God's assistance (which came in the form of the Dudley the Angel, and the financial offer from Joe Hamilton), he refused to acknowledge, believe or accept either because they happened to be presented to him in packages he didn't specifically associate with God.
And that is another thing, there are just too many rigid ideas about who God really is, what They do, and who It looks like.
Some people spend years asking Her for assistance until they decide He just isn't listening, and this is because they haven't yet gotten an answer they believe in.
However, if they honestly look back through the period they had been asking for Divine Intervention, they might begin to see that the Ultimate has always answered, but those answers have not always come wrapped in packages they expected to see/hear/feel coming from Source.
And no, I am not saying that the youth project has to start accepting money bags from the local drug dealer, I am saying that remaining open to signs, answers and gifts (intuitively as well as physically) sent from Source, can put an end to your frustration.
That way you can stop missing or rejecting gifts that are right in front of you, because you are still looking for something else that you think the "real God" has sent you, especially if you are not entirely sure exactly what that looks like anyway.
Please note that I am not saying you are evil if you have money and good if you don't, because I do NOT believe that!
I have simply used the examples above to make my point stronger, and where I am coming from more understandable.
If I have offended you, please accept my apologies as I did not mean it that way, even though my views remain the same.
My examples of Charmed and The Preacher's Wife are just that; examples of what I am trying to say about messages in everyday media that, although subtle, reinforce a very strong message most of us strongly subscribe to anyway.
And these are my interpretations and observations of them, so once again please feel free to take what you will and leave the rest to be.
If you do not agree with any of what I say, step away and don't let it affect you (or your heart).I remember a month when I had more money than I knew what to do with, and kept getting visions to invest it in stocks and shares (instead of buying shoes), which I did.
And when it came to transferring the money I wasn't sure where to send it to, so I wired it anyway and hoped for the best (naive, I know), then promptly forgot about it.
After a few weeks, during which time I had been nagging the Universe for a holiday, I was walking past a cash machine and decided to check my balance (something I never do when I haven't any money).
To my utter delight, there was a lump sum in there I couldn't account for, until two days later when I received an email from the broker, telling me that the money for my shares hadn't come through. But I didn't care then; I was going on holiday!
“Your Father knoweth what things you have need of before you ask Him” - Matthew 6:8.• Direction. Whether you are floating about from job to job, settled in a dissatisfying one, craving something different, something more, or are plagued by ideas of supplementing your income expressing your truth. Whatever your reasons, feelings, ideas or intuitions to bring spirituality into your work, I suggest starting by clarifying your direction. Pay attention to your feelings and intuitions; what you are drawn to, what you enjoy doing, what your hobbies are, and what your ambitions were as a child? I wanted to be a film writer in primary school, but got put off after contacting a production company who told me I needed an agent, then writing to an agent and getting rejected. That's why I haven't been overly enthusiastic about contacting agents this time round (even though I have, and many of them didn't reply). Ask for guidance if you are struggling, and pay close attention to what you get, in dreams, intuitions, random visions, spark ideas or suggestions from a friend. You could even try automatic writing from a question, and see what you come up with. Basically, if you have the will, a way will present itself; all you have to be is persistent, patient, open, and honest with yourself. I say honest because sometimes, if the answer lies in your childhood or a time/place associated with trauma, you may be drawn to it but the feelings may not be liberation or excitement, but fear or resistance. If this is the case, then work on dealing with your traumas first, and then uncovering your truth from there. Sometimes you may even get intuitions to do something that you later find out you don't really want to do, especially when you have already committed yourself. Don't lose faith in your intuition because it may simply be that you needed a catalyst to show you the truth you were perhaps rejecting in other ways. I remember an episode of MADE, where Christian is MADE into a Football Player. He was a tiny little thing, and had a female coach, but not much enthusiasm for the game; he was mostly late, never showed much team spirit, complained a whole lot, and found himself punished a fair bit (by having to run laps around the field). Just before the first game though, his parents decided to move him to a boarding school where he planned to join the football team, but never got round to it, especially after he went back to watch his team play, only to realise that he didn't want to play football after all. He wanted to be a cross country runner, which he had found a passion for by getting punished so many times for being lazy and unenthusiastic about football.
• Creation. When you have a clear idea of the direction you want to go in work-wise, go and make it happen! Start by imagining yourself doing exactly what you like in as much detail as you can conjure up. Then maybe draw/paint a picture that represents it to you, or write a detailed description that you can put up on your notice board at work, your living room at home, or the wall above your bed, to integrate into your consciousness. Whatever way feels right to you, do it because then you (hopefully) won't loose motivation. From there, see what actions you are drawn to taking; applying for a hundred jobs, applying for an internship, applying for a course, or investing your inheritance into that business you've always dreamed about. Whatever your ambitions, take the appropriate actions to manifest them, and everything will flow from there. I remember someone telling me that money was an energy that will flow when I let it, I didn't believe them then because... well, you know about my money situations. So, you can imagine my delight when, while I was working on this book money seemed to just turn up when I needed it, at the right time and just the right amount - try it for yourself, let everything flow! I would also like to share something that I do when I am working on a book (it works like a charm); I visualise myself holding the published version every day that I work on it. Then I write out my fears, doubts, insecurities, and everything negative into my therapy journal (that I burn at the end of the month) as well as write out my plans, ideas, ambitions and everything positive into my normal journal. Over a period of time, this helps to boost my confidence and motivation, because I am not too weighed down by irrational fears and insecurities that paralyse and stop me moving forward.
• Practicality. As tempting as it may be to let the excitement of a new job (or idea) carry you away, and have you re-mortgaging your home to take out a business loan, rushing to work and telling your boss to go stuff him/herself, then pissing off to Cyprus and starting a new life selling boats. Slow down and think properly about what you are going to do, how you are going to start, and what sacrifices you will have to make as a result. You wouldn't want to make hasty (and badly planned) decisions that will have you crawling back with your tail between your legs, now would you? Besides, when you are working from absolute truth there is no need to rush anything, and there is no real pressure except in your head. As impulsive as I can be, I am also very practical (Virgo trait), so whenever I am about to go chasing after a dream, I sit down and make a list; where am I starting off? What is good about where I am? What needs to change? Then, where do I want to go? What will be good when I get there? What will the challenges be? What are my options from here? What are my obstacles? Etc, when I have answered all of these questions and satisfied (that I am not acting from some misguided spurt of stray impulse) myself with the answers, I am ready to go! I would suggest you make a similar list and uncover everything you need to know about following your dream before you go chasing. If you are sure about what you want to do and where you want to go, your way of getting there will clear itself up in front of you (not to say that it will be easy though).
I'm afraid this is all I can offer you on the subject of work (at this time), and that’s because I am also just starting out on the old career road.
However, if any of you experts out there have any enlightened tids and bits to share with the rest of us amateurs, please don't hesitate to throw us a few valuable scraps, my contact details are at the back.
Remember, that sharing facilitates flow!