The Oceanview: Youth.... Rainfalls by Robert Garcia - HTML preview
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He and she were by the ocean again. It was a bit brighter than before, as afternoon
had been passing by.
“Robert, what’s wrong….”
He was quiet.
She looked at the oceanview, with the bright sunlight of afternoon, warming the
The blinding sun.
“This afternoon….it reminds me of an afternoon when I was a teenager. It’s “one of
those days” I told you about, remember?”
A wave fell from the bright sky. It splashed on the warm shore as the park vision
The memory formed in front of her and him.
Still looking down-this time, at the shore-he looked up to be treated to a truly
pleasant, special surprise.
“Oh-!”, he started, mimicking her cry of pleasant surprise.
She giggled a little at his response. “Ya. This was when I was a youth, Robert.”
The curves that he recognized on her were much less development and visible,
although her strong body and strong femininity still remained to be identified with
her, despite her young age.
“Ya, I look different, huh? I think I was twelve here. I thought differently, too.”
“You thought differently, miss?”
“Ya…. You’ll see what I mean later in my life.”
The vision was of barely-hit-puberty girl. Her hair, a long brown, was falling over her left shoulder.
“Your hair is longer now.”
“Ya. It grew overtime when I was young.”
Her hair was shorter than what she had now, but it could still be identified as
belonging to her.
She was over at another house, the girl she was with relaxing and hanging out
“I remember she was a friend I had in school. We got along so well, and her parents
got along with me and my parents so well, and the opposite way around. We went
to the same high school together, and we were close friends until she moved at the
end of high school. I still keep in touch with her, through her phone.”
“Oh.” A strange response. Almost sad. He put his head down again to look at the
floor of the house they were in.
“Robert? What troubles you?”
“It’s nothing, miss.”
He looked back at the scene. She and her youth friend were talking with each other
on a sofa in her friend’s house.
“Are you sure, Robert?”
“You must have been popular in high school, huh? With all your looks and
She was quiet for a second, as measured by the ticking clock on the wall.
Then, she started laughing. Her distinct laugh, something he never got tired of
“Well, I was kind of popular! Ya, it was because of my looks. I think people really
liked my personality too. I was well liked by a lot of people. A lot of guys wanted to date me, or be with me, or…. Probably have sex with me.”
“I thought so. You’re so cool, miss.”
“But I wasn’t as popular as you think. I didn’t even care, or want to be “popular”,
whatever that means. I was myself, and I guess I attracted a lot of guys and some
girls. Some girls that became close friends with me. A lot of guys who thought I was
attractive and wanted to date me.”
“…. But I was never one of them. I never knew you back then, miss.”
He looked at her eyes, so sad. His drooping eyelids.
“This vision of yours is lovely, miss. I see you as you were back then. It is a
wonderful sight for me. Thank you.”
“Oh. Of course. You’re welcome, Robert.”
She looked at the memory of her and her friend.
“Ya, she was a true friend. She really was. But she had to move at the end of high
school. I miss her, but I still talk occasionally over the phone with her, so…. she’s not lost, I guess.”
“That’s nice, miss. That’s so nice to hear. It truly is.”
They looked at the two girls laughing and talking.
The house still.
“So peaceful….” He muttered.
“Mmmhh? What was that?” she asked.
“It’s so peaceful. You look like you want to be with her.”
“Oh. I truly do.”
“That’s so peaceful….”
“I take it you like peace, Robert?”
He nodded a little.
The sun from the outside was bright.
“What season was this, miss?”
“I think it was summer. The strong sun gives it away.”
He stood there with her, looking at the girls.
“Seeing me like this….”, she began, “You know, it’s a little weird-feeling. I’m seeing myself in my past. I only kind of recognize myself. What a weird feeling. This isn’t
my life anymore.”
Robert said nothing.
“Would you feel that way if you saw your own life, in your past, before you, Robert?”
Robert was quiet.
“Do you…. want to stay here and keep looking at this memory, Robert? Do you want
to keep looking at my friend and I?”
The clock ticked on, in the friend’s house. The sun became a little less bright.
“I remember I went home soon after this time. The sun wasn’t setting, it had just
been a while. It was still day.”
“I can see, miss.”
Eventually, she left her friend’s home, waving goodbye.
A front door closed behind her.
“There I go.”
He looked at the girl that was her friend, sitting alone after she had left.
“Your friend looks lonely.”, he observed.
“What, her? No way. She was always fine by herself. She told me she found ways to
keep herself from being lonely.”
She locked eyes with him.
She was so quiet.
“Robert, do you want to move on to another vision?”
He locked his eyes with her.
“Yes, miss. I want to move on to another one of your visions.”
She looked back at her past friend, sitting alone in her parent’s house.
The memory began to recede from sight, as her friend in the vision fell asleep on
“This next memory is one when I was a bit older.”, she said to Robert.
“Ok.”, he said back, “Please show me, miss.”
A wave in the sky splashed down over the memory. The friend disappeared from
The oceanview was a little less bright now, as the day had continued on.
“I remember this was a morning I woke up to go to school. I don’t know why I
remember this specific morning. It’s interesting.”
“I see, miss.”
She was lying in bed, wearing light pajamas. The sheets wore uncovering her, and
the bedsheet below her that she was lying on was crumpled and untidy.
She slept on the left side of her bed, and empty pillow and space, that was a little
less untidy and wrinkled, to the right side of her bed.
“How old were you here, miss?”
She thought for a second, as counted by the ticking clock above her bed.
“Let’s see…. It was 2003, if I can remember correctly. I think I was thirteen-years-
old. I’m twenty-eight now, so that makes a lot of sense. I was in elementary school
still, I think.”
She looked at the her lying in her adolescent bedroom, surprised by who she was
“Looking at me like this is really…. strange.”
“You look so peaceful in the morning, miss.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
“I hope I do!”
“I would have liked to see that.”
She giggled and locked eyes with him.
“Why are you saying that? Didn’t you say you thought speaking in the past would
make it sound like I was dead?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, miss.”
“No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m not dead, Robert.”
He looked to the empty right side of the bed.
“Why are you sleeping alone, miss? Did you mind that back then?”
She smiled at him. The sun outside was early morning, but it wasn’t very bright. It
blended into the sky, not showing too much among the clouds.
“I don’t know. I never really thought about filling my bed with someone else back in
those days. I guess I was ok sleeping by myself, Robert.”
He looked at the carpet in her room. He was so quiet.
“Robert, why do you keep doing that-?”
“Well, I remember my parents removed the carpet later on, when I was an older
teenager. Hardly even a teenager anymore, if I remember correctly. I think they
wanted a change for my room. I was going to be moving out shorty after, anyway,
He started walking to her bed.
“Oh!”, she exclaimed surprised, “What are you doing?”
Robert lay down in the bed next to her, filling the empty pillow and empty space on
her right side.
“Oh….” She watched him.
He pulled the sheets over his body and put his head on the pillow to rest it.
He turned to his left, and cuddled with her, hugging her close to him. She still lay on her back, face-up to the ceiling.
With his eyes open, he looked at her.
“You’re still asleep.”
“I was still asleep, yes. I remember I was.”
She laughed. “Wow, you really think I look peaceful, huh?”
The sun outside continued to mold into the clouds. A few chirping birds started to be heard.
“Please don’t wake up, miss. I want to hold you like this forever.”
“Oh, I don’t wake up until a little bit later.”
He continued to cuddle her.
“Do you…. want to see more, Robert?”, she said, after a long time had passed. The
thirteen year old her was still asleep, facing up in his arms.
A strong breeze blew in from outside, cooling the bed. Her hair blew on the bed a
little. He let it settle on his face.
“That wind….it belongs to a past.”
“Ya. I guess it does.”
He cuddled her a bit tighter, then looked at her teenage face.
He faced her at eye-level, straddling her directly.
Her eyes were closed.
He looked at her closed eyes and sleeping face for a few more seconds, counted by
the ticking of her bedroom clock.
“Did you want to move on?”
“…. I can only look at you for so long.”
She smiled, coyly.
“Ya. Did you want to move on?”
“I want to look at you forever.”
Her coy smile of flattery grew bigger.
“Ya, I know you do. Sorry that you can’t look at me forever, Robert.”
He kept looking at her sleeping-teenage-girl-self.
“Would you like to move on?”
He continued to look at her. Faintly, like she was fading.
He got off the bed, as the bed creaked beneath him. It did not wake her.
He rejoined the twenty-eight-year-old her, standing near the open door of the room.
Outside the door, it was a somewhat dim black, though still visible in a mild light
coming in the house.
The memory evaporated into the water that made it come to life.
The sky was even a bit dimmer now, with even less sun shining in the sky. Even still, It looked like daytime.
“The next memory is when I was a bit older, but still a teen.”
The wave from the day sky splashed on the shore, slowly replacing the earlier vision
and causing it to die.
Water drops, on the shore. The new vision formed into a living shape.
The vision that was shown to him and her was a vision of her-as a teen girl-in
school. She looked at bit older then when she was lying in her bed.
“Let’s see…. the year was 2005, I believe. I was fifteen. I had just started high
“Were you popular?”
She looked at him.
She sighed. She looked away from him.
“I never cared. It didn’t matter to me. I was kind of well-liked in elementary school, I guess. But I never thought about it much. I had my friends then, as I had my friends
when I was in high school.”
“Ya. I figured school is only a small part of my life, so why would I get so hung up
about it? I hoped I would have friends that lasted when I was older, but most of
them moved away. I kept in contact with a few girls by phone. Like that friend you
She paused, thoughtful.
“Until some of them stopped answering my calls. I don’t think they ever really cared
“Ya. I guess it’s whatever now, though.”
The vision before them showed her with a few girls, over at another house that
wasn’t hers or her friends.
“Whose house is this, miss?”
“This is the house of a girl I met during this time, If I remember correctly. A bit before, now that I think about it. It was a real nice house. It really left an imprint on my mind, because it seemed so nice.”
The house she and the few girls were in was very large, with a winding, spiral
staircase, and a barbecue on the wooden back porch, leading to a large backyard.
Inside, the girls walked and ran around with their socks on. The floor was wood.
“Ya, it sure was a real nice home….” She thought again, saying it out loud.
“You looked like you had a nice time, miss?”
“In this memory? Ya. It was nice.”
She looked at where he was looking. He was studying her as she lived.
“What do you see, Robert?”
“You seem…. different, miss. Not bad or good. Different. Your personality. The way
you’re acting. The way your speaking. Even your voice is a bit different.”
She smiled at him, then smiled, looking at her young self, and watched the past her
live her life.
“Ya….”, she started, remembering who she was.
“My voice was a bit different back then. It became a bit deeper and less…. girly, I
guess you could say, overtime, as I grew up. It sounded a bit rougher. I thought that, anyway. My friends noticed the change.”
“But it was me. So I was proud of it.”
“I bet you were, miss.”
They watched the girls have fun and talk with each other.
She was laughing. He recognized the same laugh, even from her past young girl
self. It was so distinct.
“You still have the same laugh I remember, miss.”
She laughed. “Ya, I did, didn’t I? It changed a little when my voice got deeper, but
people always said they could tell me from my laugh.”
“I don’t blame them. It’s easy to tell that it’s you, miss.”
The girls in the vision had gone outside on the wood balcony, with the barbecue.
There was a man out there, cooking on it. Steam rose up into the air.
“Ya, we went out into the backyard at this time. I remember the dad-of the girl who
lived here-was cooking barbecue that day. I was hungry, too. So it worked out well.”
More steam rose in the air. In the backyard was a table and some chairs.
After a bit, the barbecue was done. It was served, along with other food. The girls
sat down at the table outside to eat with each other.
“Who made the other food?”
He thought. There was a faint sizzling sound from inside the house in the vision.
“I did hear something that sounded like a stove.”
“Ya. That was her.”
They watched the girls eat and talk with each other.
The day outside, in the backyard of the house, was a little sunny, but also cool.
Wind blew through the tree leaves in the backyard, far above the house and
“I think it was spring. If I remember.”
“I thought that too, miss.”
He started walking to where the girls were seated.
“You’re going to cuddle me again?”
He was a small distance away from her.
“No. I’m going to sit with you, miss.”
She looked at him.
He sat down in an open chair, one that happened to be right next to her.
She looked at him join in the group, with her young self and the young girls.
“This is so strange…. I can’t get over seeing how young I am…. I think they even
sold this house….the girl doesn’t live there anymore.”
Robert had sat down next to her, on her right, in the chair. He was looking at her,
observing her life as it passed him by.
Wind accidentally blew some of the cups on the table over. Some liquid spilled out.
He saw the teenage her laugh at this. A real distinct laugh.
The other girls laughed at this, as well. Robert watched as she got up, running to
the porch, and disappeared inside the back door.
The twenty-eight year old her watched herself, as she ran past her to go inside.
Watching them side-by-side, he saw only little differences.
It was still the same girl, then and now.
But he thought she still seemed different….
Somehow, she was so different….
Her teen self came running back out with the dad behind her. He had a cleaning
fluid and a cloth.
and standing around him.
Robert continued to stare at the younger version of the girl he was with, standing up this time, but still to her near right.
Close enough to touch….
The older girl stood on the porch, watching him and the vision she remembered
She was quiet.
The spring wind blew the tree leaves, so far above the backyard. A few leaves flew
off, into the air, to be carried by the wind away from the home.
He was reaching his hand out the feel her….
“Did you want to see another vision? It feels strange, seeing me this young.”
His hand was touching her. He could feel her.
He let his hand fall off her. He slumped and looked down, before he continued to
He couldn’t feel her much.
“Yes, miss, I want to see more of your visions.”
She smiled at him from the porch.
She didn’t know what had caused it.
Something about him touching her.
She saw he let her go.
The water of the memory drained out. Water drops on a beach. The oceanview was
visible. The sky had lost a bit more brightness. The day had dragged on.
“I’m going to show you when I was an older teen.”
A wave splashed on the shore, forming water into the new memory.
The drops on the shore.
Some distant sounds of seagulls. The drops of water on the shore almost make
them hard to hear-they were so distant and faint.
The vision formed.
The teenage girl was visible again. Very close to the same age.
“Miss, how old were you?”
“I was sixteen, if I can remember. It wasn’t much long after my old vision I just
“Ya. Very little. I didn’t look that much older. I never thought I did.”
The memory was a scene of her teenage girl at a beachfront with her family.
“It was fall at this time of year, I think.”
He recognized the young girl’s parents, with her on the beach.
“Who are they?”
There were some other men and women, and some other boys and girls around her
age with her on the beachfront.
“Oh, they were my whole family, back then. The ones near my age were my cousins
back then. I don’t have any brothers or sisters, if you thought those were them.”
“Oh. I see.”
“Ya. The adults are aunts and uncles.”
“I see. You have a big family.”
She laughed a little at this.
“I always thought I had a big family. The rest of my family always thought we were a
“It looks that way, miss.”
For some reason, this made him quiet.
“Miss…. something has been on my mind. You seem…. like you act differently now.”
“Can you be specific?”
“…. Maybe you’ll reveal yourself to me in time.”
She blinked at him, locking her eyes with his, but confused.
The air was very cool. The time of day looked like it was evening. The world was
dim, though visible.
Crumpled, fall leaves blew on and across the sandy shore, falling in the sand and
planting themselves there, or blowing away into the ocean water. Some had holes in
them, some where intact, but weak.
“I remember some friends and I had gone to see live music the night before this. A
popular band at the time. I barely remember who they were. I barely remember the
concert enough. But I remember enough to know that it was amazing. The music
was amazing. I loved it. They had these awesome visuals to go along with it.”
“Oh…. that’s nice, miss. That’s so nice….”
“Ya. It truly was. We had also gone down to the same beach the evening before,
around the same time. It was such a cool air.”
“It felt just like this evening. I was with my friends, and then I was with my family the day after.”
He looked at the young her, conversing with her family on the beach.
“I had tried to swim in the water with another girl that evening, but the water was
way too cold. We felt like we were freezing, and the air didn’t make things any
better when we got out.”
She snickered a little under her breathe, looking down at the sand.
“I did some dumb things when I was younger.”
She looked up at her young self and pointed at the girl.
“Like right now.”
He looked at the direction of her finger.
She was pointing at the past her, starting to swim in the water.
He laughed at this.
“Miss, if the water is anything like the air, that is a bad idea!”
“I’m not even wearing a bikini. I guess I just wanted to swim.”
The young girl in the vision had started to swim in the water.
“OH, FUCCKKK!” Her response to the likely very cold water.
“I had never heard you swear up to this point, miss.”
She shook her head. “You’re right. I never said the f-word that much until I was a
He looked at her, surprised.
“Why is that, miss?”
She was quiet.
“It’s my personality. I say it a lot.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me?”
She was silent. The noise of the teen-her exclaiming dramatically how cold the
water was to her family, who were laughing at her response.
The noise of family talking.
He didn’t know what to say.
hung around with each other on the beach until it was night-time.”
She closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the far away past she was
The sounds of her vision.
“…. It was nice, Robert….”
He was starting to walk towards the soaked young her, getting closer on the sand,
until he reached halfway to the shore, where she was beyond him.
“Robert, are you going to try to touch me again?”
He stopped walking and put his head down.
“No. It’s not worth it.”
“It’s not worth it?” She was surprised at him. “What do you mean, it’s not worth it?”
Her face was showing such a surprised expression, with a little concern in it.
Robert locked eyes with her. She locked her eyes back, the surprised expression
even more surprised.
“What do you mean, Robert? You…. don’t want to?”
“Vision, miss. Your visions. Please.”
Though still surprised, she nodded.
The ocean water of the vision seemed to evaporate, as her memory slowly vanished
to give way to the oceanview, and the sky. Her memory of the beach evening had
turned to near night by the time it was going away, and the young her, her parents
and family had begun to leave the beachfront behind. By the time the vision was
being forgotten by her, all the people who were on the evening beachfront had left
it and vanished from the memory’s sight.
“I don’t really remember much after that. I think we had a bit of a party back at my
uncle and aunt’s home. We ate and drank a bit, then my parents took me back
home to go to sleep. It was really late at night. I was tired.”
He gave a small smile at her, and put his head down, to look at the familiar sand of
the oceanview. Wind had begun to blow sand across the big beach.
The day had turned into a bit of evening, with gradually less sun and less light. The wind had become a little stronger. The world was much dimmer, with much less sun.
A wave from the sky-a sky that was a bit more gray, sensing the approach of
evening on the world.
The wave hit the shore. The water drops dripped on the shore, a few in the ocean.
The distant seagull cries were even more quiet, barely able to be heard, and the
noise they made was blocked out by the dripping drops on the beach.
The so quiet, dripping drops of water she and he heard.
“This memory…. I remember I was an older teen, in that year.”
Her memory of her later youth years began to form.
“Yep. I was seventeen here, Robert.”
She was shown among her locker in a school. A girl was talking to her.
“That was a friend I met in high school. We were close friends. Like how I was with
that other girl I showed you.”
“But she moved away when I was older. I never saw her again.”
He looked at her with her friend.
“You look more grown up. Your body looks much closer to what it is as an adult,
“Ya. It does.”
“Did you get a lot of dates?”
She shook her head.
“Ya. But it’s not as nice as you think.”
“How so, miss?”
“I had terrible relationships with most of the guys I dated back when I was that
young. We didn’t get along, we got into arguments with no end. A lot of them called
I’m not afraid to get excited about something if I love it. I’m not afraid to laugh a lot, and laugh loudly, at something if I think it is funny.”
“They didn’t like that?”
“Ya. They wanted me to be more timid, dainty. They didn’t want me to have such a
strong personality, or, as they put it, for me to be “crazy.”
“But you’re not crazy, miss. I love your “strong” personality.”
She smiled sadly at him. A little smile.
“Thank you, Robert, but some people don’t. I think they hated that about me when I
was in school.”
He was quiet. “I don’t know what to say.”
She laughed. “You don’t have to say anything. You said you love my “strong”
“I don’t know what to say to you….”
She looked at him, thinking to herself that he really did like who she was as a
“…. I don’t know what to say to you, Robert.”
A boy stepped by the young her locker to speak with her. The girl that was her
friend was still present there.
She looked sharply at the boy.
The boy smiled as he said something to her, and she gave her coy smile back at
him, putting her head down a little to reveal her eyelashes-the eyelashes that had
only grown very little since she was a teenager.
“-He did. I accepted. It ended horribly-.”
He took out a cell phone and began asking her a question. She kept the coy,
innocent smile on her pink lips. Taking out her own cell phone from her pocket, she
nodded her head, looking up at the boy with her large, widened eyes, the same
smile on her lips as she did so.
“-Ya. I gave him my number.”
She spoke the number to the boy, her mouth mouthing the digits. Neither the
twenty-eight year old her or Robert could here what the young her was saying, but
they could tell.
“I think he asked me at this point if he could call me. Naturally, I said ya.”
The boy said something to the young her, moving his mouth. The young her said
something back, moving her mouth and lips.
A single, quick word: It looked like she said “ya.” Following it by a nodding of her
head at the boy. The same distinctly widened, distinctly large eye expression with
the distinctly small, distinctly coy smile of innocence was on her face.
“Ya. I exactly said that to him. I was so ignorant in some ways when I was younger,
She turned to Robert. Robert looked at his miss.
He thought about her question.
He smiled at her, finally. A small smile, locking eyes with her.
“Yes. You could say I was.”
“You don’t want to tell me how?”
“No. I don’t.”
She gave a small smile to match his, and locked her own eyes with him.
She saw something there.
“That’s ok. Ya. It doesn’t matter to me.”
She nodded at him and looked back at the memory of her adolescence.
The boy had mouthed the words “bye” or “goodbye” to the young her with a small
smile. He had started walking away from her, leaving her alone with her teenage
“You still have that same smile and large eyes, miss.”
The young her had turned back to her teenage friend. With her eyes still wide and a
small smile still on her face, she began talking to her friend about what had just
happened. Her friend laughed as the young her giggled a little.
A deep giggle.
continued to look at the teenage her and her friend in the vision, remembering the
day he had asked her out with no fear, even while her friend from her past was
there, talking with her about life.
He looked back to her-the present her.
“How did it end up?”
She gave a deep giggle and faced him.
“Oh. He called me crazy.”
“He didn’t like that I talked loud when I was excited over something. He wanted me
to keep my voice down, because he didn’t like that I was getting so emotional and
excited about it. I think it scared him.”
“Ya. He thought I was too intense.”
“Are you too intense, miss?”
She stared at him and laughed, showing a little surprise before she started
“No. I don’t think I am. But that’s what I think. A lot of other people would probably tell you that I’m too intense for them.”
She continued to look at him as he looked away to her vision.
“…. So…. having a strong personality is a bad thing?”
Her eyes widened a little, as she thought a bit.
“To some people, ya. I guess it is. Why, I don’t know.”
He tried to think of a response to her, but he couldn’t think of anything to-
“Miss, sorry. I can’t think of anything to say to you.”
“It’s fine, Robert. Thank you.”
She looked at the youth her and her lost friend.
“I had gone to a concert with that girl this same year. What was the year? Two-
thousand and eight? Ya. That was right. It was the same band I had went to go see
back when we were watching my family on the beach. So a few years ago. They had
come out with new music this year. It was amazing. So I went with that girl and a
few friends to go watch them live. It was even more amazing then what I had
remembered from a few years back. Everything was so energetic. We had so much
fun and enjoyed it immensely. It was simply amazing. The time I spent with them
was simply so amazing, enjoying something that we seemed to get true pleasure
“It sounds…. like life, miss.”
She turned to him, a little confusion and a little surprise on her face. “It sounds like life? What does that mean?”
She was just surprised now. Her mouth opening, her eyes widening.
“Oh. I don’t know what say in response.”
“It’s fine, miss.”
She looked back at the scene of her school and her lost friend.
“I think I left now.” The young girl that was her as a teenager was walking away
from her locker. Her past friend walked in the opposite direction, away from her, and the two parted ways after smiling and saying goodbye to each other.
“You’re still giggling, miss.” Her young self was walking away, still deeply giggling to herself while looking straight ahead, with her coy smile and wide eyes on her
“Ya. I couldn’t get over his boldness. It was so amusing to me. Too bad it went so
badly with him. It’s so sad.”
The school was so quiet. Nobody was around anymore. Only a little faint talking as
the young her left her school, and walked outside, out of the field of the vision.
“It must be nice to be so desirable.”
She snickered, deeply, under her breath. She looked at him.
“Is it nice, Robert?”
He looked surprised, and turned to face her. “Oh. It’s not?”
“…. I’m not sure.”
He was quiet. He turned his head to the floor, thinking with her.
“This school brings back memories for me. Looking at this floor reminds me of my
She looked up, at her closed locker. Quietness surrounded them. He continued to
look down, at the floor.
“I remember I didn’t do much, if any, teams or clubs. I was on a sports team one
year, but I didn’t see the point of me staying on. So I left it the next year. A few of my friends did that kind of stuff.”
He looked up to match her eyes, gazing at her locker.
“Tell me more, miss.”
She took a bit of a breath, thinking back in time.
“I have memories of my friends and I walking home from each other’s houses in the
rain. Heavy rain. We didn’t care. I kind of liked that stuff. Why would I want to avoid the rain? I didn’t have an umbrella. We were fine with getting rained on outside.”
She kept talking.
on. How the clouds transform into being so dull. When you enjoy a rainfall, it seems
like a moment in time that might never happen again. But years later, you look back
on your time in the rain on that day and realize it will happen time and time again in your life. So that day you were in the rain with your friends when you were younger,
walking outside away from their homes, isn’t really all that special. There will be
days filled with rain, time and time again, throughout your life. Why should a day I
spent soaked in rain with girls I’ll never see again in my life, a few years down the road, mean any kind of vision to me?”
“But it does, miss.”
She smiled at the locker in front of her, as she felt his eyes on her.
“Ya, Robert. You’re right. It means so much. It meant so much to be in my life.”
“I like rain too, miss.”
She turned her lightly sparkling eyes to him, a sparkle hidden mostly by large irises and a darkness to her eyes, and smiled at him. A small smile.
“So you’re like me, Robert.”
He smiled at her, his small smile, looking at the sparkle in her eyes through their
“I’m like you, miss.”
The school vision of her teenage years began to disappear.
“I’ll show you my rainy day, Robert.”
The ocean waves…. could be heard. Splashing against the shore.
A wave in the sunless sky splashed down to the shore. Being a little dark, the wave
seemed to appear a little darkened as it fell on the shore. The water dropped, as
always. Little drips near the ocean.
The crying of seagulls was completely gone. The wind sweeping the sand had died
down a little, but still remained, sweeping the sand slowly and quietly across the big beach and shore.
The vision of her in a rainfall formed before Robert, for him to see with her.
She’s a symbol of beauty, past, somewhere where there is none.
A faded symbol, rare to find.
Truly a shame.
The Oceanview (Rainfalls)
The rainfall, he dreamed to see her in.
The rain in a vision.
He was staring at her, in the rainstorm of a past.
He was staring at the teenage girl, walking through the rain, without an umbrella.
Her brown hair, tied high above her head, in a big bun that faced straight up to the
rain, was soaked with water, raindrops dripping down it. Raindrops ran through her
hair and large bun. They were clearly visible, clear water drops moving across her
The twenty-eight-year-old her laughed a little.
“Ya. I didn’t really care about getting my head wet with rain.”
She was walking along the sidewalk with another girl, who looked like she was about
the young her’s age-
“I think I was still seventeen. The year…. I think it was still two-thousand and eight.
That was one of my friends that I had gone to hang out with on this weekend. I think
it rained for the whole weekend. It was interesting. I don’t remember many times in
my life when it rained for a whole weekend.”
He smiled, looking straight ahead at the girls and the rainstorm outside.
“I don’t remember many rainy weekends like that either, my miss.”
The rain was dripping down her cheeks, clearly wet with clear liquid running down
her soft skin.
He thought he saw the raindrops absorb their natural water into her skin….
“I remember a time my parents and I went away to the cottage some relatives
owned, Robert. We stayed for half a week, and it rained most of the time we were
“My mom and dad were upset over all the rainstorms, but I didn’t mind being out in
the rain. It was so pleasing to me.”
She giggled again.
“Eventually, they got used to the rain, and we took a few long walks through the
forest and cottage country around where we were staying at by a lake.”
She turned to Robert.
“Have you ever been to a cottage, Robert?”
He was so quiet.
She looked away from him, and looked back at the youth her and her young friend
walking in the rainstorm.
“We would take canoes out on the lake we were near. There was a nice dock for us
to stand on and admire the lake, and to push the canoes off if we wanted to go on
the water. One time, my parents and I were really out far on the lake. We could see
the other side, with small buildings and empty land, in the distance. We found this
island that was made up of a lot of rock. When we docked our canoes on the island,
the rock was so slippery-I forgot to tell you it was raining that whole day. The rocks were glistening with water. I could almost see my reflection in them.”
She paused to take a breath. She looked up at the rainfall, looking up at the storm
clouds above her.
“We decided to go on the island barefoot, because we didn’t want to get our sandals
wet. We left them in the canoe, covered. When my parents and I walked on the
island, it was so slippery, but something about it felt so natural beneath our feet.
There was so much rock, but the land seemed so appealing. It was so barren, with
no life, but I really liked something about that small rock island.”
“Like I was isolated from the planet….just alone on a big rock in the middle of
nowhere….with rain for my company….the quiet sounds of rain and occasional
sudden wind the only sounds I would hear….me, in a isolated place on the
lake….my parents and I separated from life….no food, but water to drink, so we
would keep living.”
She breathed again. The raindrops from the clouds were hitting on her eyelashes,
pouring into her eyes. Her vision reminded her when she was crying by the
Her eyesight was blocked out by water. So blurry, looking at the gloomy clouds that
were moving overhead.
“The glistening rock….so natural…. something only nature could make….it can’t be
changed by any person. It would stay that way for as long as the rainstorm lasted. If the rainstorm lasted forever, the island would stay that way forever. Nothing would
ever change that island.”
Robert was so quiet.
“I love that thinking, Robert.”
Her face was so drenched with water. Her long, brown hair, falling over her
shoulder, was so wet. She flung the hair suddenly to the back of her, with a quick
and strong flick of her neck. The hair was so wet it stuck together, until she moved
her head to her sides a little, the hair splitting more and revealing individual
strands, as her long hair spread across her back, even the brown colour of it
“soaked”, like it was losing a little colour.
The hair still looked like it had been fully dipped in the lake she had just been
talking about. Like she was on that island, by herself, soaking her hair in the water by holding her breath and submerging her head, just off the rock that created the
island. Falling herself in the water, but being able to pull herself back to land.
Robert looked at her, his mouth open, and his eyes relaxed. His face and hair were
soaked with raindrops. They moved down his cheeks.
“Miss? Are you alright?”
“Ya. You’ve been so quiet up until now, Robert.”
He nodded at her. “I have.”
She said nothing. She was quiet as she looked at his life.
“I was listening to you, miss.”
She formed a small smile on her pink lips.
She looked at her teenage self and her teenage friend in the distance.
“We should catch up to my friend and I, Robert.”
They walked a bit to watch her vision unfold, with her past memory of rain dripping
on her young self and the young girl that was her teenage friend-
“My miss, please don’t fade.”
“Please don’t fade.”
“Fade? What do you mean, Robert?”
“Don’t fade. I want you to bring joy into my life.”
Confused, she looked at him, her big eyes wide.
Then, she gave a small smile.
“I won’t fade, Robert. I promise.” Her smile was sensitive and warm.
He looked back at her, but didn’t smile.
“Please don’t fade, miss.”
“I won’t Robert.” Her small, warm and sensitive smile comforted him, a little.
She turned to look at the memory in front of them.
It was a different part of the neighbourhood. The rain was a bit heavier, now.
“This was the neighbourhood I lived in, Robert.”, she said. “My friend lived near us, to where we’re walking. Do you live near here, Robert?”
Robert was silently thinking.
She smiled at him. “That’s alright. You probably lived closer to me than you think.
It’s a small world. Isn’t that what people say? You might have seen me back then,
but you don’t remember it, right?”
He frowned and matched her eyes.
“No, miss, I think I would’ve remembered you….”
She blushed suddenly. “Well…. You would have, wouldn’t you?”
They looked as the young her and her friend walked along. The lights in the houses
were on, shining through the rainfall. Water drops all around the windows of the
“My friend’s house we were going to was right there, see?”
Her young self and her friend were walking up to a house near where he and she
were standing. The lights inside were on, like all the other houses in the
neighbourhood, and the golden of them shined through the dull outside and the
pouring rainfall. The front door had raindrops falling over and on it.
“I remember that the day before this, a few friends and I, including that girl I’m with there, went to a show by that same band that I had previously gone seen with them.
They didn’t have a new album, no new music- we had already gone and seen them
play new music earlier that year-but they did have a lot of songs they only played
live back then, so that was amazing. We all thought they were amazing. We loved
going to those shows together. That wasn’t the last time we went, either.”
“Was the music you went to go see with your friends popular back then, miss?”
She thought, looking ahead at her past-self.
“Kind of. There was music that was more popular. But they were well-known enough.
We would all get together and go watch them live. I think we went over to each
other’s homes and listened to the music, since a few of us had the albums, when
our parents bought them for us, maybe a present. I never got any of their three
albums as a present, though.”
“Did you have a job back then, miss?”
“No. I didn’t work through high school.”
Her younger self and her childhood friend were opening the front door. The
reflecting glass gave way to the gold-lighted inside, a visible light, contrasting it’s strongness against the dullness of the outside rainy memory.
“And now, I go in.”
From the distance they were at, they saw the two girls inside the gold-lighted house
shake their hair and bodies off, moving their hair and bodies the get the water off
them, flinging their hair from side to side. The teenage her flung her heavy bun at
the top of her head, bouncing it back and forth, as water fell out of it. The teenage her moved her neck with strength and control, as the water fell on the tiles of the
house. The other girl flung her long hair back and forth to get the water out,
sweeping her loose hair back and forth, so that water flung out of it, flying on the
tiles. Her neck movements weren’t as strong or controlled, but the water flew on the
tiles of the house nonetheless.
He thought about the rain.
“It’s like…. two girls kissing in a shower.”
Startled, she turned to him, with a straight expression with no emotion on her face.
“Two girls kissing in a shower? Why would you say that, Robert?”
“I wanted to see your reaction.”
Her face was straight as she shook her head. She looked down at the grass, near
the sidewalk they were on, a little.
“You’re crazy.”, she muttered sadly, shaking her head.
“You don’t think it’s a little amusing?”
“No. You’re crazy.”, she said, continuing to shake her head in distaste, and look at
the grass by the sidewalk, her long eyelashes streaming raindrops off them as her
head was put down.
She giggled a little.
“Ok, it’s so unexpected I think it’s a little amusing.”
“See? Relax. I didn’t mean any harm by it.”
“Why would you mean harm by it?”
“Well, the last few people I said it to got angry, especially one person.”
“That’s why. I don’t mean any harm by it.”
She gave a small, amused smile at Robert.
“It’s a bit amusing.” She giggled and looked down again, shaking her head, with her
rainy eyelashes exposed once again. “You’re crazy, Robert.” She continued to shake
her head, looking down.
“Are you angry, miss?”
She giggled. “No, I’m not angry at you, Robert.”
“Thank you, miss.”
She looked up at him, her amused smile present. Water fell off her eyelashes.
He looked at her, and spoke.
“I remember he demanded why I would say that. I said I thought it was funny-.”
“-I thought so. But that’s the thing. He got so angry at me. Eventually, I gave up and said something like “I don’t know. I’m straight?”, in the most unamused way
“And then what?”
“He gave me a smirk, like he was looking down at me. So painful. Like I was shit.
Then he smirked as he looked away, shook him head, and muttered “You’re crazy”
under his breath a few times.”
He looked at his miss in her eyes.
“You didn’t do that, miss. You were a little amused. You shook your head and called
me crazy, but you giggled at it.”
“It’s too ridiculous for me not to giggle a little, Robert.” She giggled a little again.
He smiled at her.
She looked at Robert in his eyes.
“Is that person-are those people-still in your life, Robert?”
“Why were you with them?”
“I don’t know.”
“No, miss. Nobody else.”
She looked away towards the inside of her friend’s house. The door was still open,
and the golden light inside shined.
“Do you think you’re crazy, Robert?”
“…. I don’t know. People used to say I was.”
She giggled at this.
He looked at her, his face confused. He watched the water droplets fall off her face
and eyelashes. Her eyebrows were soaked with water.
“Robert, I think not knowing if you’re crazy means there’s a lucky chance that you’re not crazy.”
He laughed at her a little. Suppressed laughter at first, but then rising to full
laughter, out loud.”
“That’s comforting. Thank you, my miss.”
She gave a small smile at him, as her eyes widened at little, looking at him.
“Your welcome, Robert.”
The house in the short distance was still open. The rain was streaming from the
outside to the inside of it. The floor tiles were soaked with rainwater.
She giggled to herself. “We’re crazy.”
He was silent for a moment. A amused smile formed on Robert’s face.
“You are, miss.”
She was looking straight ahead at the open house with the wet tiles and golden
“Well, ya. We were busy kissing in the rain shower. What did you expect, Robert?
We’re crazy to do something like that. Just us, alone.”
His small, amused smile grew wider at her. Robert’s eyes were smiling at his miss.
“Ah. I see. Why did I expect anything else?”
The image of the angry face of the person who had become so mad at him for
saying that flashed into his mind.
“What a different reaction from you, miss.”
“Ya. I suppose did find it a little amusing. I’m not angry at you at all, Robert.”
Robert’s smiling eyes remained as her looked at her. His small smile remained on
She laughed loudly, her voice deeply laughing. “Ya, your welcome again. You say
that a lot. You’re crazy.”
His expression of pleasure-the small smile and bright, smiling eyes-did not change.
“Ya. Of course I am.”
“Now that I think about it, Robert, if that person who had gotten angry at you,
insulted you for being crazy, and smirked at you like you were a piece of shit-if he
was listening to the conversation we had, what would he think?”
The rain fell hard, soft raindrops pouring into the golden entranceway of the open
house. The girls had never closed the door behind them.
“Oh. He would hate me more and think I was extremely crazy. He would think you
were crazy, my miss.”
She was watching away from him, watching her young, past self inside the open
house, as the young girl disappeared down the house’s visible front hallway, her
friend already almost out of sight, as quiet faint footsteps could be heard in this
“Ah. A way life flows.”
Her seventeen-year-old self and her friend were gone. They were not visible,
completely inside the other friend’s house they had gone to visit that evening.
He thought. “I don’t know. What do you remember?”
She spoke. “I remember we played around together with the girl who’s home that
was. The three of us. We watched a bit of tv. We did each others hair and nails back
in those days. Boring girl stuff. I don’t think you would be that interested, Robert.”
His same expression of pleasure was on his face. The smiling eyes, the small smile.
“Try me. You might be surprised.” He looked straight at her, his pleasure for her
showing, then directed his eyes at the golden entranceway the girls had
“Ok, Robert. I’ll show you.” She smiled at him, a small look of pleasant surprise on
her face, surprised that he was so interested.
The memory changed quickly. Robert and his miss were standing inside the house.
“This was the inside of my friends house.”
“Yes. I can see that, miss.”
The inside of the house was lighted up with gold electricity, raindrops making:
-Noises as they poured outside the closed windows. Their sounds were exaggerated
in the impact they hit, due to the quietness of the inside of the house.
Smack. Smack. Smack. The rain sounded more like that from the inside of the
house. Very loud raindrops against the window.
She looked at him. They were standing in the house, on the first floor. Some faint
sounds of girls talking and faint laughing could be heard from upstairs, mixed into
the heavy sounds of smacking window-rain.
“Wasn’t your house ever like this, Robert? So quiet, but with only the loud, smacking rainfall on the windows to keep you-or whoever you were with-company?”
He thought. “Yes, I remember times when my home was like that.”
“What did you think of that, Robert?”
“…. It was nice.”
She looked towards a window, being hammered by the heavy rainfall. Smack.
“Ya, I think it’s nice, too. Nowadays, whenever I hear rainfall like that in my
apartment, I remember days like these, Robert.”
“It’s nice….” He muttered, thinking.
Robert started walking upstairs, up the rugged stairs that led straight up to the
She followed behind. Up the stairs, in a room, three girls were having a nice time
with each other. One of them her seventeen-year-old teenage self, with her hair let
down now instead of being in a bun, another one the long-haired girl the young her
had walked through the rain with, and a new girl, also with her hair down.
All sitting on a bed by an open window, rain was flooding into the bedroom. The rug
on the floor was starting to get soaked in water. The howling of the rain and winds
“It’s kind of…. crazy, with the window open.”, Robert remarked, looking at the
leaking rain and loud winds. The smacking of rain remained.
“We were crazy for leaving the window open. The door, as well. I guess we didn’t
“You didn’t care about being rained on?” He looked at the three girls they each had
a little bit of rain on them.
“No, we didn’t. We were more into doing our hair together.”
The three girls all had their hair down. The young miss, with her long brown hair
hanging behind her, was trying to style her friends hanging hair, the friend who
lived in this house.
The friend that had walked with the teenage miss was behind her, playing with her
hair, brown strands in her gentle hands.
“The wind must have made what you’re doing a bit hard.” The storm wind outside
was blowing through the girls hair as they tried to play and style it together, causing them to fumble with their hands as the stormy winds blew the hair right out of
Nonetheless, the girls were laughing in amusement at this.
“I guess you didn’t care.” He said.
“I told you we didn’t.”
“I can’t help thinking how much of a perfect picture of your youth this is, miss.
You’re sitting on a bed with a few friends, trying to style each other’s hair, in the
The girls on the bed laughed in amusement while rain sometimes found its way in
through the open window, onto them. They laughed in amusement as the rain
dripped down their skin, making the bed below them a little wet. They were
bouncing a little on the mattress, making the bed move.
“You think so? It’s funny. I remember days like this well, leaving the window open
and being amused, but when I think about my youth, when I was younger, I think a
lot of the music concerts of that group I went to with friends and how amazing it
was. I also think of the days I went to the beach-the ocean-with my family, and with
my friends….at evening, at night, at morning, in the afternoon.”
The house outside the bedroom was so quiet.
“I feel like you’re together with those young girls there, playing in amusement,
somehow isolated from the rest of the neighbourhood.”
She turned her head sharply to look at him, a little confused.
“Does that make sense?” He asked.
She thought for a moment. There was no ticking clock in this memory of the house.
“I think. We were in our own world, you mean. I think of many times, like that music
with the visuals, and those beach trips, that I thought that during this period of my life. Stronger than this time. Much stronger than this time, Robert.”
They were both quiet.
The girls continued to laugh in amusement with each other, and play on the bed,
fumbling to do each other’s long, let-down hair as they did so. The rain and wind
pelting their faces and bodies, even as they laughed at it in amusement, made
them look ridiculous.
She giggled a little under her breath, her deep, twenty-eight-year-old giggle
sounding out a bit loudly in the silence of the upstairs behind her.
“Ya. We did eventually. The rain or winds never calmed down, though. It was raining
all day. We stayed at her house past evening, into the night, and it was still raining.
We had plenty of time to get our hair done. I think we did our nails, too, eventually.
Or we tried to. The rain kept messing up our nail polish every time we tried to put it on.”
Robert was watching the amused girls, laughing with amusement with each other,
without a care that a rainstorm outside was coming right into them and making
what they were doing difficult.
“This is a nice vision, miss.”
She smiled at him.
He spoke, as he continued watching the young her and her friends play. “It’s getting
a little bit girly for me. I think we should move on.”
She laughed out loud, a loud, emotional laugh, amused by his thoughts.
“Ya.” She said, giving a small smile at herself and the other girls of eleven-years-
The Oceanview (Later Youth)
The memory of the rainy day…. vanishing.
The sky of the oceanview in sight once again.
When the memory vanished, she showed him another memory of her in the rain.
This time, after the water had finished dropping on the dark shore, the rainy day
was one where her young self was walking with a big group of friends, much more
than the one girl she was walking with in the past vision.
They were walking by a colourful playground, stopping to play around on the
playground for a bit, as the rainstorm-this time with thunder-poured down.
“Is this the same playground I saw when you were a child, miss? I can’t tell.”
Standing near the playground she remembered, she looked at it.
“No. This was another playground. A different one from the one my parents took me
to when I was a kid. I think it was near the same location, though. So, it was kind of close to the other playground.”
She paused, as she leaned in and felt a pole belonging to the playground, covered
with water and slippery.
“I can’t remember exactly where this place was…. it’s interesting. I remember being
here with friends on this day, long ago, but I don’t remember where this playground
and park where located. It’s one of those memories where you can’t remember
where you were, but you know where you were. It’s the location that’s blurry. You
don’t remember where it was.”
He nodded. “Yes, miss. I know what you mean.”
They observed the scene with the friends playing for a little. The place surrounding
the park with the playground in it was filled with suburban homes. She didn’t
recognize the streets around the park, or where the neighbourhood was.
Robert looked at her and nodded.
The thunder gave way to lighting. The trees around the park swayed violently in the
“You were still outside in lightning?” He asked.
“We were. It was fine with us. We thought it was cool. We weren’t outside in thunder
and definitely not lightning too much. It was…. different.”
“Different, miss? Rainstorms with thunder and lightning happen all the time. It’s not unusual.”
“Oh. If you think so. We liked being in the middle of it.”
“Maybe you were the ones that were different. Some people would avoid lightning
and thunder at all costs. But you and your friends back then found enjoyment in
being in a park when ti was happening, surrounded by trees, that could attract
lightning and electrocute you if you weren’t careful and decided to go under one of
them for shelter from the rain.”
She looked at him blankly for a few moments. The thunder was loud, displacing the
silence that came from her.
She laughed at what he said and gave an eyeroll. With her large eyes, her eyes
moving were something incredibly visual to be seen.
“Alright, Mr. Overly-Complicated, over-think everything person. We enjoyed being
outside, even in these weather conditions.”
“I know, miss….”
“You’re acting strange, Robert.”
“You don’t need to apologize.”
She watched the past her play with her friends on the playground, the playground
slippery with rain.
“Do you want to move on from these rain memories, Robert? I have more, but….”
“No. It’s ok, miss. You know I want to see more of your life….”
He began walking towards, wanting to be with her in the memory, but stopped and
“It’s long gone….”
The lightning day vanished, the sky of the oceanview was visible.
It was so close to night, but still somehow evening. The sun hadn’t set yet. The
shore was visible, though dark.
“I would love to see.” He said in response to her.
The wave splashing out of the dark sky…. on the dark shore, the water drops
Much, much quieter than the raindrops on the windows of the friend’s house in the
earlier seventeen-year-old vision….
The young girl was shown. She was with a young man, about her age.
“Ya. That was when I was older during that year. That guy was a guy I had dated for
a few months. It ended really badly. You know, the whole “you’re crazy” and “you’re
too excited” thing I talked about a while back. Same old shit.”
“I’ve never heard you say that word, miss.”
“Shit? I don’t. But I was so fed up by him trying to control me that it got to a point where I thought “Screw it. What am I doing with this guy? He isn’t as involved with
me as I would like him to be. I don’t think he cares about me.”
The young man and young woman were yelling and screaming at each other.
“We were in a big argument. Very violent and angry. It was a horrible day. Not
pleasant at all.”
“That’s such a shame.”
She snickered, sighing at the argument that was happening before her.
“Ya, it really was a shame, Robert. I kind of liked him, too. As a boyfriend.”
“Ya. We never quite fit.”
“I see. Was this the first time you argued?”
“No. A few other times. But not as bad as this one. This one was brutal. I almost
threw-up after it was over, and I was in a bathroom in his home. His parents weren’t
home to hear any of that.”
“That sounds so horrible.”
“It was so horrible. I tried to laugh it off after. But It was a failure. I felt so horrible and sad.”
“What did you say to him?”
“Words to try to make him come to his senses. But nothing worked. He didn’t listen
to me. I learned we were completely dysfunctional with one another. He would try to
control me, and I expected too much out of him as a boyfriend. I don’t know what I
was thinking, dating him. He took advantage of me. I don’t like that.”
The two people in the unpleasant memory continued to scream and yell at each
“He was so fucking dumb. He wouldn’t stop telling me I was crazy. Trying to implant
it in my head, to make me crazy if I already wasn’t crazy. He refused to listen to
anything I said. It was so fucking stupid.”
“What caused all the problems?”
when I tried to talk to him peacefully. After a while, I started to swear and get angry at him. I don’t think I need to say that caused him and I to become even worse with
each other. A lot worse with each other, Robert.”
“I see, miss.”
“So it was his fault, mostly.”
Robert looked at the floor of the young man’s house, which was tiled.
“Ya. It was sad. But that was a long time ago.”
“But the memory is still there, miss.”
“You’re right, Robert. I still remember the day we had that argument. It doesn’t go
away. I try. It doesn’t go away.”
The argument kept playing:
“I think you have a small penis! That’s why you’re such a horrible boyfriend!!” The
young woman screamed.
“No! You’re crazy!! Stop saying that about me!! Ok!! I don’t!! You’re crazy!! Nope!!”
The young man screamed back.
“Are you sure about that?! Because I think you do!!” She screamed.
“Yep!! I’m sure!! Yep!! You’re crazy!!” He screamed.
“Oh ya, you are!! I’m sure!! You are, bitch!!” He screamed, just as angry.
“Even though I’m telling you I’m not?!” She screamed, still a bit calmer, but rising in temper.
“Yep!! You are!!” He shook his head at her with a strong look of contempt, looking at the tiles of his house.
He made a familiar smirk at her, the kind of smirk Robert recognized. He was
looking at her like she was trash.
She stopped for a moment, barely able to hold in her rage, and breathing faster, too
He locked eyes with her in a threatening, mocking gaze of hate.
“You’re crazy. You’re a bitch.” He whispered quietly under his breath.
The twenty-eight-year-old her turned to Robert.
“I think it was at this time that I gave up. I decided to play along with him. Nothing was going anywhere. Not me, not him.”
He saw the almost eighteen-year-old young woman suddenly let her buried anger
over his hostility take control of her.
The grown woman standing beside Robert turned to him.
The young woman opened her mouth: “Well, fuck you then, asshole!! You’re a piece
of shit anyway!! I don’t know why the fuck I started dating you to begin with!! Were
you only attracted to me because of my looks, you fucking shit?”
He smirked at her, scoffing a little. His smirk was wider.
“Ya, I was. A few of the other guys who you dumped told me you were easy. Slut.
But you haven’t put out yet. I loved looking at you, but you wouldn’t fucking give
me what I fucking wanted. I hate you, crazy bitch. I didn’t care about you. But
damn, you are so fucking beautiful, you are so fucking hot, I couldn’t resist.”
“…. Beautiful means nothing to me. It holds no meaning. It’s just a word, Robert.”
The grown woman said to him.
Robert continued to look at the scene happening. A horror he couldn’t take his eyes
“That’s it?! I knew you were crazy!! Asshole!! You only like me because of my
“Well, your voice got me going, too. But it doesn’t fucking matter, if there’s ONLY A CRAZY BITCH UNDERNEATH IT!!”
“Fuck you, Gregory!! Go die in a fucking hole, shithead!!”
The grown woman, eleven-years-later, turned to Robert and shook her head.
“Sorry, I don’t want to watch this anymore. Let’s move on to another one of my
visions, ok, Robert?”
Robert continued to watch the horror scene.
But he kept looking at the scene unfold. He was frozen, staring with an open mouth.
No reaction. She thought he looked liked a baby, frozen as though he was seeing an
argument from his parents the first time.
“Why do you want to stay?”
“I want to see your memory, miss. Even the bad memories. I’ll watch. I will, miss.”
“But it’s so unpleasant….”
“I want to watch your life.”
She gave a small smile to the floor, then directed it up at him. It was a small smile that was concealing her strong desire to run away from her bad memory, but she
was suppressing the urge for Robert’s sake.
“Ok, Robert. We’ll stay and watch this memory, together. Is that all right with you?”
“Yes, miss. It’s what I want.”
The young man and young woman’s screaming was getting worse.
“I wanted to help you, Gregory! I wanted to help you like me, and get along with
me!! I knew from the start that it wouldn’t work out so well, I knew you never really felt love for me, but I really, really wished to make the most of it and get along with
“SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!” The young man’s face was twisted in anger and rage. He
slammed his fist down violently on a nearby washing machine as his eyebrows
narrowed in anger and his eyes shown a sparkle of rage in them. “You’re crazy!!
What is wrong with you?! Your talk so fucking loud!! You get so fucking excited, be
quiet!! Shut up!! What’s wrong with you?! You’re crazy!!”
The young woman yelled back at him. “It’s who I am!! If I’m interested in
something, I talk loudly!! I’m full of emotion and energy and I love to express that
when I talk!! Some people appreciate when I talk like that-!!”
“NOBODY APPRECIATES WHEN YOU TALK LIKE THAT!!”
“Ya, they do!!” She responded. “I’m full of passion and I’m passionate with what
ever I’m talking about!! If you think I’m too loud, then get away from me and don’t
stay close to be. That way, you won’t have to deal with me being so loud!!”
He smirked at her…. bigger this time. Again with the mocking.
“Pathetic. You can’t control yourself-.”
“But I can control myself!! Do you not understand people?!” She interrupted him,
fiercely trying to make him see her a loving girlfriend.
“No. I don’t understand people. I don’t like people. I’m antisocial.” He said with a
shrug of his shoulder, his eyes dead and his frowning contempt on his face.
She suddenly stopped. Her face was petrified in an expression: A combination
between confusion and shock, very unpleasant feelings welling up inside her mind
and showing on her face.
want to date me? You wouldn’t like me!!”
He glared at her, his eyebrows tightening his forehead, and his mouth tightened in
tight, miserable contempt for her.
“Shut up. You’re crazy.”
“I’m trying to help you! I sensed there was something wrong!”
“Shut. Up. You’re not better than me. You’re crazy. You’re part of the problem. You’re as much to blame as the rest of us.”
“I don’t think I’m better than you!” The young woman said, laughing loudly at how
ridiculous she thought he was being.
“The rest of us?”
“The rest of the people I’ve met. Most of them.”
“…. What’s your problem?” The young woman said to him, calming down a little,
and thinking before she said it.
The young man spoke. “You’re my problem.”
She shook her head. “You’re crazy, Gregory.”
“No. You’re crazy, loud bitch.” He said back to her, doing an expression with his
eyes and face to her, like he wanted to instigate-to create-a fight with her, an
aggressive movement with a frown and sudden widening of the eyes at her.
His rage rose a little. “No. No. Somebody had to say it. Somebody had to say it.
You’re crazy. So what’s wrong with you?”
The young woman breathed in deeply, calming herself down a little. She let out a
“You’re fucked, Gregory.”
“I asked what’s wrong with you.” His anger was barely contained.
“Nothing is wrong with me, Gregory.”
“I think there is.”
He was still seething with rage, his face tensed up and his eyes narrowing tightly.
His frown was tightened on his lips.
“This is the way I am. Get used to it. You’re crazy.” The young man said loudly. He
sounded like an actor acting out a part, letting his rage show.
“Ya. I’m crazy. Gregory.”
“You are.” He made the same war-like expression, like he was going to enjoy
The young woman spoke. “You want to be unlikable, don’t you?”
“I don’t care. That’s your problem if you don’t like me.”
He was silent. The young woman continued talking.
“How do you want to go through life?”
“I’ll crush my enemies when they stand in my way. I’ll make enemies if I have to, so
I can crush them.”
A satisfied smirk crossed his face, as he looked up at the ceiling of the house,
imagining how much he would love his life if he treated it like a war. It seemed to
bring him a sense of relief. Like he finally understood himself, and where he
belonged in the world. He understood who he was.
“How about the people you affect?” The young woman asked him.
“It doesn’t matter anyway. We’re all going to die anyway. I’m going to die too. No
one will remember what I said to them, if I hurt someone. They’ll be dead,
eventually, at one point. My actions don’t have consequences. Everybody dies. I’ll
die. No one will remember me or them. Nobody will care after we die.”
“So you want to act whatever way you want, Gregory? Because you’ll die in the end.
Everybody you affect will die.”
The calmness frightened the young woman a bit, made even more disturbing with
how much she disagreed with his way of thinking.
“You don’t want to live your life? Love? Be rewarded? Be positive? Have pleasant
memories that last forever?”
“There is no point to my life. Why should I care? I’m going to die. No one will
remember me. I’ll act whatever way I want. Their all going to die. They won’t
remember me. In the vastness of time, no one cares.”
The young woman looked his war-loving heart. His desire to destroy the lives of
“I think the problem with me and you, Gregory, is that I like peace. You like war.”
“Ya, and you’re going to die anyway.”
No miss, please don’t die. Please don’t die, my miss-Robert thought, shaking his
head in fear of her life going away.
Your life is rare, miss.
The young woman in the disturbing vision spoke.
“And what do they say? Make the most of your life? Make the most of this life? What
makes you think I wouldn’t want to do that?”
He shook his head with his scowl, and looked down. “You’re crazy. You’re going to
die.” He shook his head as he said this.
He continued to look down at the tiles and shake his head.
“You’re crazy. You’re crazy.”
“We shouldn’t see each other anymore. Our hearts are different.”
“You’re crazy. You are. You’re crazy.”
“You failed at your life, Gregory.”
“No. You’re crazy.”
“Why do you think I’m crazy?”
“You are.” He kept shaking his head.
“Goodbye, Gregory. I haven’t failed at my life yet.”
“You will. No, you will.”
“Maybe. But I won’t turn to war.”
The young man kept shaking his head.
No, don’t fail at your life…. Robert thought.
“I will. I don’t like you.”
“Then you shouldn’t have dated me. You shouldn’t have tried to control me.”
“You should be controlled. You’re crazy. Know your place.”
“I’m leaving you alone.”
As the much calmer young woman started to leave the young man alone by himself,
walking away from the painful vision, Robert was frozen.
He looked like a toddler, witnessing the first argument between his parents, looking
up at them as they argued in a childhood home.
The seventeen-year-old young woman left the view of the house, made by the
memory. The young man was alone, looking at the floor, shaking his head.
“I left Gregory alone.”
She paused for a few seconds. A ticking hand on the wall clock-now audible since
the screaming, anger and swearing had resided- counted the few seconds.
“I left and walked home that day, Robert.”
Beside the grown woman, he was still frozen, like he was in a trance. He had looked
at the first argument between his parents, as a child, and was stunned by what had
What it seemed like, was that he was a child.
You need to reverse nature to make yourself better than who you are.”
He was still a child.
“I wonder if he thought that when he was born. When people are born, nobody
thinks that. They’re still so natural. They would never think that. Why would they?
What reason were they given to think that, when they’re born?”
Robert could see himself as a child.
He imagined seeing the vision he had seen of the grown woman, standing beside
him, when she was a child, in a far away place, out of his reach of his young life.
“I think that’s the most natural thing there is. What nature meant for us. We didn’t
question it when we were born.”
Robert was imagining himself and the baby girl, far away, long ago, but both living.
“He later started talking about reversing the natural love males have for females.
Why would he want to reverse nature?
Robert was still in his daydream, imagining the baby her far away from the baby
him. He never saw her. He imagined her being far away, living her own life with a
“Why destroy something so natural? When we’re born, we are nature.”
away from him, almost on another planet….
“But it’s like Gregory said. We’re going to die. So what’ the point of living?”
Robert was so focused on where this baby lived her life on this other planet….
“What’s the point of nature?”
Robert’s visions of the past felt like they were fading.
“We’ll all go away, Robert. I will too.”
Silence. Robert didn’t want to forget the visions he had of this baby on another
planet. Still earth…. but another planet….
“But dying is nature.”
The vision began to turn to natural water. It splashed until the natural sky was
visible, with the natural oceanview. The quiet, natural waves, surrounded by nothing
but silence. The natural shore of the planet. The natural wind, that blew the natural sand across the beach and shore.
It had become stronger now. The sand blew heavily, with force.
All around, it was so quiet.
Dead. It felt dead.
The sky said nothing to them. It couldn’t talk. Looking up at it, It said a million
words, too much to process for a human mind.
The wave fell from the sky. It was almost night. Some evening still remained,
It splashed on the even darker shore. The dripping water, wettining the sand, was
able to be seen, but barely. The damp wet spots the water left on the sand was
hardly able to be seen, darkinging the sand a little with its water, dark spots even
darker then the darkness that had already swept the show at this time in evening,
so close to night time.
Her memory of a year later, when she was almost eighteen, formed quickly,
covering the oceanview and the sky with water.
“The vision you’re about to see was a year later, in two-thousand and nine. I was
very close to eighteen, here.”
Robert said nothing. He watched her vision of her past.
The teenage girl in the vision-a slightly more developed her, with a little bit more of a curvier body, but not by much-was walking though a hallway in her school.
“I remember this day well. I was walking to go meet some friends. I was going to go
hang out with them after class was over.”
The ticking clock on the wall in the silent hallway. It looked to be far after the day was over. She was walking down the hall, slowly walking, compared to the fast
walking she often did. The hall was deserted.
“I was going outside, after staying in a long while after the day was over, helping a few classmates out with things, before they went home.”
me they would staying behind outside for a while. I think it was spring. I was that
kind of outside weather.”
“But then, Robert….”
Her voice got caught in her throat. She seemed to swallow as she tried to speak, not
able to get her words out well.
“I…. you should watch.”
“Oh. Ok, miss.” He had a feeling something bad was about to happen on this spring
The young her arrived at the end of the hallway she was slowly walking down.
“I remember I had no where I wanted to go in a rush, so I thought, forget it, I’m
going to walk as slow as I can. No one’s around to tell me to speed up.”
The young her reached the door at the end of the hallway leading outside.
With a push of her arms, pushing her body against the door to open it, the slow,
sudden loud creak of the door opening could be heard throughout the empty
hallway, echoing on the walls of the building.
A sharp, strong gust of spring air shot inside. The young her’s hair, tied back in
ponytail, blew in the strong winds, the tied-back hair flopping and flowing in the
strong spring breeze.
She went outside.
The memory continued, and they were transported to outside the open doors, as
the doors closed quietly behind the young woman.
“I remember the girls I had got along with were somewhere a bit hidden from sight.
I went to go look for them, and found them-
The young woman was walking on a yard by the school, covered with grass. Robert
thought it looked like a lovely yard.
-I found them, somewhere over there. They were kind of waiting for me, since they
thought I was going to mess around with them outside, somewhere near my school I
“Would you say it was a nice school, miss?”
She gave a small smile at him.
“I did think it was a nice school. Now that I think about it, remember it.”
She was smiling a small smile in remembrance.
“It’s nice that you thought that, miss.”
“Ya…. I did.”
The sudden, distant sounds of police sirens, on a quiet day, as a quiet wind blew
over the yard.
Police sirens of the past.
yard. The sky was a little dull, grayed by the spring day. It was cool, but pleasant-
A sky of the past. Most likely, people living in that house of the past.
A day of the past. A spring, long past.
“That where I saw the girls.”
The young woman was walking towards the small group of teenage girls, sitting on
the grass yard by the big house. A big fence was a short distance behind them.
They noticed the young miss walking towards them. Two of them waved to greet
her, standing up as they did.
The young miss waved back without smiling. Instead, she had her large, wide eyes
and opened her mouth.
“I’ve never been one who fakes a smile, Robert.”
He nodded his head, as he looked at her walk towards the small group of relaxed
girls that were waving at her and greeting her, motioning the young woman to come
be with them.
“What an act….” The grown woman muttered quietly under her breath.
“I’m sorry, miss?”
“It’s nothing, Robert.”
The spring grass blew a little on the field of the yard.
“There was a lot of empty space there. We were kind of isolated, but there were a
few houses around us. It was a big, empty field of grass, a little bit of a walk for
It was a little isolated. Though surrounded by a few houses, the girls sat on a small patch of a otherwise very large and barren field of grass and cool wind, blowing the
grass for quite a distance to see.
It was quiet as the young woman walked to the waiting girls, except the distant
police sirens, near the streets where the few homes were.
She had almost met then now, as the girls looked, looked away briefly, and
continued to look at the young woman approaching. It was a very huge field of
swaying grass, blowing wind, and nothing else.
“I should have gone home.” The grown woman said beside Robert. “Fuck.”
He didn’t want to ask what she meant by that. Robert was quiet.
The young woman was about to meet the girls. The girls smiled and waved at her.
“Hey, Yoko. We were waiting for you.”
“Ya, we were so waiting for you.”
“Hey guys, I’m here.” The young woman said back to them, as she gave a small
smile to them, with a slight wave of her hand.
grass. There’s nobody in or near this field.”
“Ok, of course.” She sat down with the few girls. The girls standing sat down with
A few people walked by on the nearby streets where the houses were, small groups
of a few people walking on sidewalks that could be seen on the streets. Two people,
a man and woman, were walking their pet dog on one of these sidewalks, moving
between a group of two other people as they did so.
The wind was strong and cool on the streets, the sidewalks, and by the houses,
blowing the wind chimes on one of them. It was distinctly a spring breeze. Cool, but
“Who does your nails, Yoko? Do you do them yourself? They’re really pretty!”
The Yoko girl smiled a little at the girl who had said this, blushing a little form flatter as she looked at the nails on her hand.
“I do them. My cousin wants to be a nail technician or designer in the future-I don’t remember which one-, so she’ll probably be doing them sometimes when I get
“Oh! That’s nice! They look really, really cool!” Another girl said to Yoko.
She blushed a bit more again. “Oh. Thank you.” she said, with another small smile
“You’re welcome!” The same girl that had complimented her the second time.
“Yoko, isn’t your birthday in a few days?”
“Oh! Ya. It is in a few days. I’ll be turning eighteen. Close to the new year.”
“That’s nice! Happy birthday, Yoko!” The other girl, the only one who had not
spoken yet, exclaimed to the birthday girl. In total, there were four girls sitting down in the group, with Yoko sitting down next to them to talk.
“Thanks!” The Yoko girl responded, a small smile of appreciation on her lips and
face. Her eyes smiled, a tiny glimmer in large, dark irises. Special.
Robert turned to the grown Yoko, standing beside him.
“You seen to really appreciate little things. You’re so appreciative.”
The grown woman smiled a little, at the thought of it, and let out a giggle in
“Ya. I’ve always been like that.”
She looked at Robert, still with a small smile. The same dark irises, with the same
“There you go, being appreciative again.”
“Ya. I guess I am.”
The conversation and friendliness continued among the girls.
“You’re one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen, Yoko!” One girl on the ground.
“Ya! You really are one of the nicest-looking girls I’ve ever seen, too!”
Yoko was blushing. She was looking at the ground-the grass-with a small smile on
“You guys flatter me.”
“Well, you deserve it!”
Yoko continued to look at the grass on the ground, the same blushing face. Her
small smile faded a little, but traces of it still remained.
“More flattery….” She muttered under her breath. She wasn’t sure if the girls heard
her or not. They probably did. One turned her head to face Yoko as she muttered it.
“Say, do you go on a lot of dates?” A girl asked the teenage Yoko.
Yoko’s smile faded, going away. “I’d rather not talk about it.” She said in a deeper
tone, still retaining femininity, but deep and assertive, like she didn’t want to
answer the question. She spoke a bit quieter, thinking to herself about her many
“Oh, why not? Is there something wrong?” A girl asked her.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never been on many dates before? You have, haven’t you?
Have you ever been on a single date?”
“No, I have, but….”
Another girl chimed in. “I remember a few boys I’m friends with telling me about
“A few boys?....” Yoko questioned, suddenly concerned. Was one of them….
“Ya!” The girl continued. “They told me all about dating you!”
“Oh…. I’m sure they had a nice time with me….”
“Oh, they said you were a bitch!” The girl suddenly said, a bit louder.
The teenage girl named Yoko felt her stomach sink. A tightness in it.
“Ya!” The same girl continued. “They said they wanted to date you because they
thought you were hot. But then you acted like a bitch to them!” The girl sounded
“But I’m not a bitch….” Yoko muttered, sadly, to that girl, them looked at all four
girls as a group.
“Eh, that doesn’t surprise me. She seems like the bitch type. All looks, no brains.”
Yoko-both the teenage girl and adult woman-where choked up, watching the scene.
“No. I think this girl’s a bitch.” The girl who had just spoke said, turning to a girl beside her.
Yoko knew the girl that the one who had just called her a “bitch” was looking at.
That girl, which Yoko knew from her long hair, brown, a little similar to Yoko’s own
hair, had been a friend to the young teenage girl since Yoko had met her when she
was fourteen, and they were the same age back then.
That friend nodded.
“Ya. She is a bitch. One guy who dated her told me she was also crazy. She spoke so
loudly, cause she was excited or something. That’s what the guy said to me. She
wouldn’t be quiet about things she liked. It got so out of control. He said she was
too passionate for him. She wanted to have sex all the time. Like, immediately after
they started dating. He was intimidated.”
“What’s wrong with passion, Melanie….?” Yoko sounded sad, retreating into herself
to protect herself from what they thought about her.
“Somebody had to say it, Yoko. Why are you so passionate about everything? The
guy told me you called, asking to come over to his home one day. When he invited
you over, you became so excited, and you tried to push him down on the couch to
initiate sex with him or something. You were kissing him so much all over his face,
lips, cheeks, neck. You were hugging him so tightly on the couch, he barely
managed to escape you. You would have kissed more of him, if you could.”
Yoko was so sad-both the teenage her, and the grown her watching this sad scene
“But isn’t that what he wanted from being with me? What wrong with that?”
“His parents came home.” Melanie continued. “Saw you trying to put him in you.
You had covered his face in saliva. It’s a good thing you don’t wear much lipstick, or he would be covered in kiss marks as well. His parents-
“-His parents told you to leave. They didn’t want you getting sexual with their son.”
“Ya, and I left. I respected their wishes.”
“He left you after that. He didn’t want to deal with a crazy girlfriend.”
“But I’m not crazy….”
“Sure. You keep telling yourself that.” Melanie had only apathy.
Yoko felt like her gut was twisted in horrible knots, from the stress that had been
imposed on her all of a sudden.
“Melanie, I thought we were friends?”
The Melanie girl said nothing. The silence disturbed Yoko.
The teenage Yoko stood up suddenly, not sure if she wanted to leave or not, when a
girl sitting down stood up with her.
“Hey, I’ve never seen you angry, Yoko.”
Another girl on the ground stood up suddenly. Melanie followed her by standing up.
“Ya, I’ve never seen her angry, either.” The other girl that had just stood up with
Melanie locked eyes with Yoko. It was a compassionless glare.
From the distance her and Robert were watching, the adult Yoko still felt the
intensity of the lack of compassion in Melanie’s locked eyes.
“Tell her that her nails aren’t a nice colour to look at. That’ll piss her off.”
The two girls, standing besides Melanie, stared at the teenage Yoko. They were
unblinking, strange small smiles on their faces, like they were waiting with excited
anticipation for Yoko to get angry. For their amusement.
They were feeding off Melanie’s lack of compassion for her “friend”.
Yoko-both the grown-up and the teenage girl-remembered the feeling of being
pressed against a wall. Her back against the wall, the young Yoko felt trapped as
these girls stared at her.
“Wh-what? My nails are a nice colour! I-I always make sure to paint them a nice
colour! What are you guys talking about-
From their strange, smiling expressions, they burst into laughing like hyenas at her.
“-I can do my nails nice colours if I want to!! What are you guys talking about?!” The young Yoko sounded defensive, a natural reaction to feeling like she was being
backed against a wall, her cheeks blushing with warmth, heat and redness, as her
whole face heated up with the stress Melanie and the other girls were putting on
Robert could understand. He looked down, sadly, not wanting to look at her
“See?” Melanie said, forcefully, still locking her unblinking eyes with Yoko, as she
had moved closer to the teenage girl to threateningly stare at her even closer, like
Melanie was eyeing Yoko. The lack of compassion remained in her eyes as the
young Yoko saw Melanie looking at her this way.
The young Yoko put her head down a little. She felt shame that had nothing to do
“They loved backing me against a wall. For no reason. They wanted a reaction out
of me.” The grown Yoko said to Robert, as she looked straight ahead at the vision
that was happening.
“It never went away. Not truly.” The grown woman Yoko continued, talking to Robert
without looking at him.
The two girls continued to be hyenas to Yoko’s past self, while the compassionless
girl Melanie stared at her with the same war-like glare of hate. Melanie made no
attempt to conceal her hate for Yoko’s past, young-teen-girl-self.
“I remember, a year earlier I overheard her-that Melanie girl-saying she didn’t like
people. I had heard that before, earlier in the year.”
Robert was quiet, listening to her. The grass all across the field of the yard was
blown in a wind that was a little bit stronger, now. So much empty space, with
nothing around. In the distance, the girls hyena laughing was able to be heard,
across the grass field, and into the neighbouring streets and houses around them. A
car drove by. Whoever was in the house with the fence behind them, and whoever
was in the car that drove by, they very likely heard the loud, compassionless
“She was into philosophy, Robert.” The woman Yoko continued. Robert was quiet,
listening to the sounds of the wind, the distant laughing, and what the woman
besides him was saying.
“There’s this concept in philosophy that is about being a “higher man”. A human
that represents what humanity should be. An idea that you separate yourself from a
“herd” of people, to be an individual. That’s what Melanie wanted to be. This
The wind blew the sounds of laughter across the grass field. Besides some very
distant police sirens and an occasion passing car-with the quiet sounds of the wind
chime from the house behind them with the fence-the area was very quiet.
The grown woman that was Yoko watched Melanie.
“I couldn’t help thinking that it was ironic. Melanie was the leader of the herd. She was the biggest “herd” human out of them all. Just like everyone else. What was
there that was “human” about her?”
Robert was so quiet, as her listened to the Yoko standing beside him and the quiet
sounds of the distant wind chimes.
“She was the leader of “a herd of sheep.”
Robert had isolated his mind more to the noises around him, including her voice.
The wind chimes were a bit louder now, since there was very little other noise
besides this grown woman’s deeply reflective voice, speaking to him, softly letting
the words she-Yoko-was saying into his brain.
“She later gave up and decided there was no point to her existence. Which is why
she is acting the way she is now to me. She doesn’t care.”
“My miss, that’s just depressing.”
She laughed loudly in response to his words. “Ya.” Her loud laugh turned to a giggle, as she kept looking straight ahead, at her vision. “Ya. It truly is. Robert.”
She turned to Robert. He looked, surprised at her suddenly looking at him.
They locked eyes. In her eyes, a life of compassion.
Robert felt safe from her memory.
They looked back at what was happening.
“After that, I remember going home. I started walking away from the vision, and
they walked away to. Nobody said “goodbye” to each other. Why would we? We
In the distance, the teenage Yoko was walking away, the girls laughter having died
down a little. It was quieter in the day.
“I walked home, to my house that was nearby, with a terrible pit in my stomach. I
can’t describe it, Robert. It’s like that feeling you get when your life goes
underwater. You feel your life has no future. Something has been destroyed.”
“Miss….” He knew she was sad.
“I felt that way as I walked through the streets to go back home. The same pit in my
stomach, never stopping. I wanted to collapse on the pavement. When I made it
back home, I said “hi” to my parents, before I rushed up to my room to lie on my
bed, to take a nap and escape form it all. They followed me upstairs, asking me
was acting, why I was so sad.”
Wind chimes in a distance. The police sirens were completely gone. It was quieter
“I went to sleep. But when I woke up, in the evening, so close to night, the pit in my stomach was still there. I still remembered what happened, Robert. What I had
forgotten in my sleep came back when I was awake. I went to go hug my parents,
thank them for giving birth to me, thinking that would somehow cure me.”
The girls were separated now. The teenage Yoko had simply started waling away,
without saying anything.
Eventually, she left out of sight. Eventually, the girls left out of sight.
“It didn’t cure me…. Robert.”
The yard with the grass was now completely and totally barren. Nobody. Just
memories, implanted in the winds of what had happened there in a past.
“But my past is my past.”
Robert couldn’t get over how empty the vision had become.
“What a planet….”
Yoko-the one left in the memory-looked at him.
“It is a scenic view, isn’t it? I always thought this field of grass was nice. It stretched so far. I remember you could see so much in the distance. So much life, you never
thought existed, in the distance.
on a distant highway. A large apartment building was built near the houses and
townhouses, near this highway, stretching into the spring day. The stores
surrounded this building, some close to the far-off highway. In the distance, traffic was busy, and it was becoming evening as the day had passed before Robert and
“We’ve been in this vision for a long time, Robert.”
Robert smiled a little and nodded at her. “I agree, my miss. We have been here a
“I think it’s time we get going. What do you think?”
He gave a small nod of the head at Yoko.
“I think that would be a good idea. Now is a meaningful time to move on, miss.”
Far away, the traffic on the highway and near the apartment building could barely
be heard by Robert and his miss.
The traffic, highway, building, stores, far neighbourhood…. they turned to dripping
water as the memory began to disappear from her mind. The memory vanishing
into a sky, the oceanview and the present sky was visible to her and him, again.
It was basically night now. The sunset over the ocean had started. The orange glow
cast a special kind of light on the water’s surface. The shore, the beach was dark,
but the sunset glow lit it up a bit, making features and details on it able to be seen with what looked like a natural flashlight. You could still tell it was a shore and a beach. It was not so dark as to be unknown to what it was. The sunset helped with
“Robert, my next vision I want to show you is from my eighteenth birthday party. I
was with my family. It was such a…. cloudy day.”
highlighted the water drops well, separating the soaked, wet colour they made on
the sand from the surrounding shore. There was something visually pleasing about a
way it looked.
The birthday party was remembered from the water.
The now eighteen-year old teenage girl…. Yoko….was sitting on the couch in her
family’s home, smiling to herself as she studied a present a relative had presumably
bought her. Sure enough, the relatives, a pair of an aunt and an uncle, walked up to
her, as young Yoko read who the gift was from out loud, names on the “to” and
“from” sticker on the wrapping paper.
She looked up at them, as the aunt and uncle, showing some hereditary
resemblance to Yoko, looked down at her, sitting on the couch, and smiled.
“Thanks, guys!” The eighteen-year-old girl exclaimed, her voice full of joyful
surprise. She gave her related aunt and uncle, much older than her, a smile of
“You’re welcome, Yoko. Happy eighteenth birthday. You grow up so fast, little girl.”
“Ah, kids these days keep growing up faster and faster all the time. I feel like we’re getting old, hun.” The aunt.
The uncle laughed. A quiet laugh. “Well, if you say that, then I start to feel old, you know.”
The aunt smiled at young Yoko. “She is so much younger than us. She’s got her life
ahead of her.”
The uncle smiled at the eighteen-year-old girl with the life ahead of her, and
The aunt pulled on the uncle’s arm, tugging at his collared shirt, with the first button undone.
“Come on, I want to go eat. The food looks really good.”
“Ok. The food does look like it tastes really good.” The uncles responded, starting to move away from the young girl. Her aunt followed him.
A bit farther away, on a table near the dining room, was a party platter with a food
platter, foods of many different types laid down neatly on it, organized to a fault.
Her aunt and uncle began picking out different foods to eat, picking up the food with their hands, as most of it was finger food.
Outside, the air-still spring-blew in, moving the thin, white fabric curtains pulled
back on either sides of the window in it’s force. The air blew in on the table in the dining room, cooling it, cooling the neatly packed food, cooling the table, and
cooling anyone in the dining room, including the aunt, uncle, and young Yoko.
The grown Yoko started speaking for the first time in this vision, talking to Robert.
“I remember I used to get along with my aunt and uncle-the ones you see there-so
well. We seemed to really click. Maybe it was just because we were family. I don’t
know. I felt happy to see them when they came over, or when my parents and I
went over to their place, or when I saw them over at another relatives place if we
She paused, stopping and thinking as she looking at this aunt and uncle of hers,
watching and observing them as they moved to grab food, greatly enjoying what
they were eating at her later birthday party.
It was a sad shame, Robert. I really, really miss them. After a bit of time from this party, I rarely got to see them again. I guess they wanted to do their own thing.”
The forgotten aunt and uncle in the birthday vision continued to pick up and eat the
finger food, so neatly laid out for guests to enjoy and salivate over.
The Yoko of the present continued.
“I tried calling them a few times, but they didn’t pick up. My mum and dad did, too.
But they never bothered to respond to us. A few of my relatives talked to them a
little, but not much. They seemed to distant from the family from what they used to
A nod of his head signaled his quiet response to what she was reflectively
remembering to him, speaking her thoughts to the only person that would listen.
Grown woman Yoko looked slowly to her younger, birthday-girl-self, sitting on the
living room couch and opening her gift she had gotten from her lost relatives.
“What did I get?” The adult woman wondering out loud, looking at the gift and her
eager past-self, opening it. “I don’t remember.”
“What did you like back then, miss? What would you want to get as a gift?”
The birthday Yoko began taking the ribbon holding her gift apart.
“Oh, nothing special. I didn’t have any particular wishes for a gift. As for what I
liked? My interests? Hmm. Well….”
The ribbon was halfway removed. The birthday-girl Yoko was smiling at her gift, as
she slowly opened it.
nails, eating healthy, keeping fit…. you get the idea, Robert.”
“Girly stuff. Ya, I get it.”
She laughed. Her passionate laugh. “Ya, you got it. Girly stuff.”
The birthday her opened the present more, taking off the ribbon totally.
The doorbell of the house, near the front porch, suddenly rang.
“Oh!”, the grown Yoko, exclaimed, pleasantly surprised. “Ya, I think my cousin with
her parents arrived here, at this time. It was getting kind of dark out.”
“Your cousin? The one you said wanted to do nails in the future, when she grew up?”
Robert asked Yoko, curiously.
“Yep. Her. She was around my age. She is around my age, I should say.”
Loud footsteps down the stairs, smacking the ground heavily. A person-as they
came into sight, Robert say that it was Yoko’s mother-came running to open the
door, as the doorbell rang.
“That’s my mother for you. Always ready to do something. In this case, answer the
door for my relatives as fast as she could.”
He laughed a little, at Yoko’s description of her mother. “I can see that.” He watched the running mother, running down the staircase leading upstairs with her socks on.
The aunt and uncle, as well as the birthday-girl-Yoko, had all taken their shoes off in the house.
and the dining room of her family’s house.
Yoko looked at and nodded in approval of his observation. “Ya. My pops and I really
liked to make sure our home was clean back then. That meant taking off shoes
because of…. mud and boring stuff like that.”
Robert smiled a little at her and nodded in agreement, still observing all around the house for how clean and tidy, neat and organized everything was. “I can see that,
“Yep. Positively cared about it back then. For some reason.”
He looked at her, confused. “Some reason?”
She shrugged. “It carried over into adulthood, stuff like that that my parents taught me. I think that what they taught me was a good thing. Like, an importance of a
clean place. Wherever I lived in my future.”
Robert’s confusion faded. He nodded at her thoughts.
“That’s a nice teaching. I can’t say I uphold those values so high.”
She laughed with him. “Why not?”
He was quiet. His face didn’t budge, as he looked away from Yoko.
“Don’t you have your own living space, Robert?”
He was so quiet. He looked away from her, as she continued to look at him for a
“Oh. Sorry, Robert. I’m sorry I asked.”
He continued to look away from her, avoiding her gaze. “No, it’s alright, my miss. I
only want to hear about you. You didn’t need to hear that about me. No need to
She giggles and scrunched up her forehead as she looked at him. He still looked
“Robert, if I could forget, I wouldn’t have remembered any of my life.”
He looked at Yoko. He finally met her gaze.
“Oh…. you’re right. Don’t forget. Remember what I was implying there.”
She smiled at him, un-scrunching her forehead, barely containing a deep, womanly
giggle of amusement.
“You’re so silly. I think you’re amusing.”
“It’s a compliment, Robert.”
“…. Thank you for thinking so about me, miss.”
“You’re welcome. And what do you think is amusing about me?”
“Oh! Well, thank you.”
“Do you appreciate me saying so about your eyes?”
“If I didn’t appreciate it, something would be wrong with me.”
Robert smiled at this, gazing at her eyes.
So big, so powerful.
“No problem.” He said quietly. She smiled, pleasantly amused again, by him.
The birthday family get-together, or family birthday party, was in motion.
Yoko’s mother had ran down the stairs, to the entranceway door of the house, her
feet having slammed on the hard ground of the first floor.
She opened the door fast. “I’m getting it!” She called out loudly to the upstairs floor, presumably to someone up there.
“Ok, Lucia!!” A loud, male voice from upstairs.
“That’s sounds like your dad up there.” Robert recognized his voice from Yoko’s
previous memories with her father in them.
“Ya. It was. He had-silly me, he has a really loud voice. Kind of like me. But he’s a man. I’m not.”
The grown Yoko giggled at him. “Ya. Pretty much.” Another one of her deep giggles,
very pleasing to listen to in her womanly tone of voice she was born with.
Her mom, the woman named Lucia, opened the door.
“Your cousin’s so pretty, like you, miss”
The grown Yoko smiled as her cousin walked through the door.
“Ya, my cousin is a looker, like me. She was and is around my age. Back then and
now, she was really pretty. We have always got along so well.”
Her cousin, the girl entering through the front door with her parents, presumably
another aunt and uncle of Yoko, looked much like the grown Yoko standing besides
Robert. She was taller than average for a girl, about her young cousin Yoko’s height.
The same skin tone and colour-almost golden. Her hair was completely let down, a
heavy black mass of shining hair, reflecting light from the houses lights as she
stepped inside. Her body was similar to her young cousin Yoko’s, but less curvy and
well-built, making her thinner, though not by a big difference.
“She painted her own nails at that age. She still does her own nails. Look at them.”
The grown woman Yoko pointed to her young cousin’s nails. “Pretty, huh?”
Her cousin’s nails were a dark purple colour, cut short so as to not be long nails. The dark purple blended into her nails well, making them pop and stand out to anyone
looking at them.
“They are pretty. They’re nice nails.” Robert glanced over at the grown Yoko’s nails.
They were a medium orange colour. Her nails were also cut short, not very long at
all. The medium orange colour blended into her own nails real nicely.
“Oh!” She glanced at her present-day nails. “Ya. My cousin did these when I grew
“I guess she became a nail expert like she wanted?”
“She did. I was proud of her.”
He smiled at her cousin, waving and greeting the rest of the family that was at the
“That’s nice for her, miss.”
“It was. I was happy for her.”
“Welcome, Yuko!” Yoko’s mother greeted her young cousin.
“Hi, everyone.” The cousin named Yuna responded.
“How are you doing?” The aunt previously in the dining room, eating, had come to
the front door to greet the relatives.
“I’m well, aunt Sandra.”
“That’s good.” The aunt responded.
Yoko’s mother, Lucia, called upstairs to her husband.
“Goudayuu! Come down here! Satoshi, Jeana and Yuna are here!”
Outside the open front door, which had not been closed yet, It was night outside.
Two lights near the front porch were lit up in the night. Along the walkway leading to the house, rows of lit-up lights along either side lit-up the walkway to the front door of Yoko’s teenage home. Her family’s home.
A thought occurred to Robert. He turned to the grown Yoko.
I can’t recognize where this is…. he thought, looking at what he could see in the
night, with the lights of the walkway showing a view to him.
“Something wrong?” The grown Yoko asked.
“No…. I’m going to go outside quickly, miss.” He started walking to the open door.
“Oh. Why so?”
“I want to see where you lived.”
She was quiet, not sure what to say. “Oh. Go ahead.”
He began walking out of the house, reaching the open front entrance. He looked out
farther, still not recognizing her neighbourhood of the past.
“Where is this?” He muttered to himself, thoughtfully.
He stepped outside. He walked through the walkway, making his way to the parked
cars by the garage. Looking around at the neighbouring houses and the street he
was on, he couldn’t figure out the location. The dark made it difficult to see much,
even with the night-time lights lit-up on the houses on this street, and some houses
had lights on in different floors. He spotted the street sign nearby, intersecting with another street sign.
Nothing. He couldn’t make out anything. The words were so faded in the night. They
were barely visible. He couldn’t read what they said.
He kept walking and walked into the middle of the road. It being night, traffic on this street was dead. If a car came, he would hear it in the quiet night, and move. He
He stood in the middle of the road, observing where she had lived in the past.
A faint playground, covered with darkness, was in the distance. It was by a small
park, hardly visible in the night. Not the same park and playground he had
previously seen in both of her visions where there had been one remembered.
“Where is she?”
Nothing rang a bell with him. “What am I doing? I don’t want to walk any further, or
I’ll be leaving her and her birthday party behind. I don’t know where she is. I can’t tell.”
He looked up at the sky, dark with dark clouds. Clouds moving very, very slowly in
the night sky.
As if it was going to give him a clue to where her home had been located. It didn’t.
It looked like a sky. The same sky that was present every day, everywhere. He saw a
few lights on in the upstairs floors of a few homes. It was an invasion of privacy,
taking the “home” part away from house. You could see clearly inside.
He looked back down and shook his head in confusion, starting to walk back to the
house the teenage girl Yoko was having her birthday in.
He walked through the very well-lit-the golden-walkway again. The door was still open. The aunt, uncle and cousin that had just arrived had just taken off their shoes and were starting to walk inside.
He walked in through the open door. Yoko’s father, Goudayuu, was there, closing the
door behind the three relatives that had just come in.
Robert walked to meet the grown Yoko, waiting for him inside and observing her
birthday party unfold. Her dad moved away from the door a little as the guests went
“Yoko…. that is your name, right, miss?”
She nodded, looking at him with a relaxed but attentive look, like she was paying
attention to what he was saying, but not too much. She seemed more focused on
the reflective party that was happening around her.
“What street is this?”
She stopped and thought. “Did you read the street sign outside?”
“I tried to. It’s too dark. I can’t see it.”
“Oh. Really?” She made a little blink with her huge eyes and eyelashes.
“Sorry to say. I somehow don’t remember what street I lived on.”
Robert was a little surprised. “Really? You never had to fill out any forms that
needed a street address, or something like I.D?”
She thought. “Ya, but a long time ago. I use my current street address nowadays.”
“…. I have a feeling you lived close by, but didn’t know it, Robert.”
“Why do you say that, miss?”
She gave a small, secretive smile at him, tightening her pink lips.
“I have a feeling.”
Robert didn’t know. “Huh. If you think so.”
They both turned back to the Young hers birthday party.
Yuna and her parents were starting to get settled in, walking around and talking
with the aunt and uncle that did previously been in the dining room. Yuna started
picking up some food from the platters and eating it.
Robert walked over to something that caught his eye. On top of a stereo system in
the living room, a bit in the dining room, was something colourful.
He walked over to the stereo system to see what it was, as the grown Yoko watched
“Those are my albums I owned at this age.” She said to him, as he neared them.
He picked the two albums off the wooden stereo stand they were resting on, and
looked at them.
black irises with a small white glimmer in them. Surrounding the eye was a strange,
white design with spots of black in it, barely visible. Like the irises had something otherworldly in them. Robert thought it looked like one of Yoko’s eyes and
eyelashes, minus the strange, otherworldly white shapes that were shown in its iris.
The face the eye and eyelashes belonged to was green, covered by what was best
described as vegetation, and connected to what looked like a pair of horns and
mouth, that was on the side of the album cover but not shown fully. The “person”
looked human, but not human.
The second music album had the visual of a small, red glowing fetus in the center of
it, like it was in a womb. Around the fetus were many colourful, thick rings of bright colours, very visibly separated from one another. A strong, light-blue glow
surrounded the outside of the outer-most layer of the coloured rings, seeming to
freeze the glow on the album cover. Outside the coloured ring and blue glow, what
looked like sperm-instead represented by circuits from a computer, instead of actual
sperm-crawled towards the baby and colourful rings, moving towards the blue glow.
The circuit “sperm” was a blue colour. Outside these circuits, a border for the cover visual was shown. It looked like it was the edges of an old computer screen, a gray
border in colour. Each corner had a gray arrow or a few gray arrows at it, contrasting with the other side of each corner, which had less or more arrows depending on
what the other corner had.
The artist’s and album title name were printed neatly on both covers, written in a
simple but interesting way, right beside each other.
They were very pleasing covers to look at. Very pleasing to the eyes.
“If you’re wondering what those are, Robert, they’re the music I listened to this year and when I was younger. The same band my friends and I had went to go see that I
told you about in my past visions.”
Speaking of visions…. He looked at the backs of the albums.
“They’re so nice.”
He looked over the music albums one more time. “Do they have new stuff?”
“They did, later on, but I think they broke up.”
He put the albums back on their wooden resting place on the stereo.
Yoko and Robert turned back to the party. When they started watching again, more
people had joined the birthday celebration. Another aunt and uncle pair could be
seen. A few more teenagers about the young girl Yoko’s age had walked into the
dining room, picking food out of the platters, and talking with anyone. Two young
adults, who looked liked cousins-
“Those are my cousins too. They are a lot older than me.” Yoko chimed into the
-Walked and talked as the celebration continued. Only one was eating.
Yuna mingled with the crowd. Her shining black hair, wavy in the bright overhead
light of the dining room, and her deep purple coloured nails, fitting perfectly on her hand, gave her away.
Yoko, the grown woman and Robert watched her birthday memory for a little. Her
relatives were messing around. Her dad, Goudayuu, came walking into the dining
room, further making it more crowded, and started conversing with family
“You have a big family.”
She laughed a little under her breath, in reflection.
He continued to look at the family, and shrugged. “If you say so. It looks real big to me.”
“I’m assuming you mean that as a good thing? It sounds that way.”
He paused, thinking for a few seconds….as counted by the ticking of an analog
clock in the kitchen, nearby the dining room….and shrugged, unsure.
“I don’t know if it’s bad or good. I’m commenting on it. That’s all, miss”
She nodded at him. “I see. Ya, I don’t know if it was a bad or good thing for me
either. I take that back. Definitely not a bad thing. So good. You could say.”
“Hmmm….” Robert’s response.
The woman beside him spoke again. “Ya. The night went on like this. Most of my
family gatherings were like this. Lots of talking and noise. Laughing.”
There was a lot of noise going on in the living room, and more in the dining room.
“It sounds like people are having a good time.”
“I think they did, Robert.”
Robert had forgotten about something. “Miss what did your young self get as a
Her face widened in surprise. Her light-brown eyebrows lifted up on her forehead.
“Jesus, we completely forgot. I forgot to watch myself open my gift.”
“Oh. So that’s what I got from aunt Rena and uncle Touya that day.”
“Lipstick? It that eyeliner?”
The birthday girl was looking in delight at her presented pink lipstick and black
“You look so pleased by those.”
She smiled and nodded. “I remember I was, Robert. You could say I’m simple.”
“I could make a joke about you being stupid out of that.”
“You could. Are you?”
He looked at the stack of presents left for her from her relatives on this day.
“What else did you get, miss?” There were six presents left for her to open.
“Well, if you watch, you find out.”
“I wear that bra nowadays. It fits me so well. Even when I got that much older and
grew up more.”
The young, birthday Yoko looked at the second lipstick she had gotten, almost in
“I thought: “Ugghh. More pink lipstick? I had gotten that a bunch of times for my
birthday-and for Christmas-in previous years. I was sick of it. The first present I
opened I was happy I had got it again, because my aunt and uncle were thinking of
what I liked. But a second gift with the same thing in it on my birthday? I can only
take so much pink lipstick.”
Robert smiled a little. He nodded slightly in agreement.
“Yes. Getting the same gifts all the time can be tiring. You want something else.”
“Yep. I was thankful for the black bra, though.”
Putting down and setting aside the bra and lipstick, the other presents were opened
by the young miss.
In them were: A pair of socks, lavender oil, a book on meditation and peaceful
relaxation, A health food cookbook, a pair of black panties, skin cream, and
“I have all that stuff nowadays. I saved it.”
“Should I ask if you wear the panties?”
The young birthday girl miss put down all the gifts she had received to one side of
the room, setting them aside with the gift she had first opened, to organize them so
nothing would be lost.
“Even back then, with my birthday gifts, I was organized. I’m kind of that way
naturally. Organized and structured as hell, Robert.”
The party continued. The young birthday Yoko hurried to join her family, to sit down
and eat together with them.
Lucia, her mother, who had made dinner, was serving it to the guests, her husband
having sat down at the long and wide, stone dining table with cloth covering it.
Napkins, tablecloths, utensils were present for each family guest.
Birthday Yoko, an older teenager, exciting started to eat with her relatives.
“Ya. The food was really good that day. My mum and dad had put a lot of work into
making it, Robert.”
The family ate.
Outside a drawn-back curtain to a very large window, the night world outside was a
view for those inside. The same few lights outside, turned on in the different rooms
of houses were the bright highlights of this view. A few people could be seen moving
around inside of the well-lit rooms, contrasted with the night black. Someone was
getting dressed, half naked.
“There’s not a whole lot left in this memory, Robert, to see. I think we ate for a
while, and played around. We then listened to the music you were looking at before
for a while. My relatives commented on how much they really, really liked how it
sounded. A while later…. time had gone by. It was like midnight when most of my
She sighed. “I know. I can’t remember. I wish I could go ask myself right here.” She
pointed calmly to her birthday girl self, laughing with joy with her family. “My
parents.” She glanced slowly at her parents, talking with other relatives about
something. The relatives looked to be a grandpa and grandma, judging from their
“Are those grandparents?”
“Ya. My other grandparents, my two other grandpa’s and grandma’s, couldn’t come.
Actually, I think one pair came later on during this night. They were on my mom’s
side. Anyway, ya, my grandparents.”
Robert didn’t have anything else to say about her vision. He looked at her again, a
“You were such a special girl, miss.”
She started to laugh a little-“Ha-ha-ha”-then stopped suddenly, as she often did
when she thought quickly, and changed her mind from one thing to another.
“You make it sound like I’m dead. I thought you said you didn’t want that.”
“…. My miss….” He was sad and quiet.
She smiled at little at him, her eyes widening to meet his gaze as he looked up at
her. “I think we should be moving on.”
He nodded. “Yes, miss. You had a pleasant eighteenth birthday party. I cherish my
time you allowed me to see it.”
“Ya. You’re polite. Thank you.”
“Oh, ya. You were having trouble getting here, Ray? I know you don’t come here
often. The street is Raincove Crescent. You just take a right, and it’s hard to miss.
We live on a big street.”
Raincove Crescent. Robert didn’t even know where that was. He didn’t recognize
the street name.
“I can’t tell where you lived, miss….”
The memory began to go away, as the sky and oceanview became visible again for
the countless time.
The sky was so, so, so close to getting night.
The sunset was less than halfway down, but sinking in the horizon of the oceanview.
“The next vision….it was me as an eighteen-year-old.”
The vision formed. The water drops forsaken on the shore for the shore to get wet.
The wet spots on the shore from the drops barely visible. A little visibility. A little more difficult to distinguish the wet spots from the shore, even though the orange
glow of the sun was still shining on the beach enough for the colour distinction to be made well.
“I want you to be happy miss.”
“Huh? Do you think I’m not happy in my next vision?”
She frowned, looking out at the oceanview as the picture of her memory formed.
She was a curvy, confident eighteen-year-old girl with a group of friends at a music
“The group here was different from the one we had previously gone seen those
bunch of times. It’s funny. The music was…. a little similar. It was one of the last
times I went to one of these concerts with my friends.”
It was a kind of electronic performance.
“A friend told me about them. I had bought the album they made that year, two-
thousand and nine. The cover was this crazy skeleton with wings and a vile or
something. It was cool. I still have it.”
The concert was extremely lively. The music was extremely energetic. The young
Yoko had started sweating a little, moving around to the positive aggression of the
We are the problem…. A few lyrics from a song playing could be heard.
“Ya, I’m the problem….” The grown Yoko muttered, looking away from Robert, who
was glancing at her in curiosity. She looked at herself.
Her young self, enjoying what she was hearing, had nothing but a small smile on
her face. A slight-very slight, but strong-twinkle in her eyes.
Robert saw there was joy and positivity, in a little expression.
The grown Yoko was glaring at a girl that was with her.
He looked surprised at Yoko, then the girl. “What do you mean?”
“…. We should move, Robert.” She looked down, the glanced at him.
“Ok. If you want.” Her powerful, strong eyes.
The vision receded. “There wasn’t much to see there…. another one of those times
we went to go see live music. A few girls I had gone with before had moved away.
So they didn’t come anymore. It was….”
“Ya. I guess they had to pass on.”
She realized how that sounded. “In a non-death way.”
The sky was shown. The oceanview. No time had passed. Everything looked the
same. The sunset in the same position. Very, very slightly down more. Almost
completely invisible to someone looking unless they we’re looking for it.
A new picture of her thoughts. The same process of the water dripping on the shore.
The wave falling down and splashing on the shore.
“Kay. Next fucking memory of mine.”
“Miss, I don’t like where this is going.”
“You shouldn’t Robert.”
The immediate thing Robert noticed was the same girl, who Yoko had said looked a
bit “off”, sitting across from the curvy, young Yoko at a table. They were with three other girls. It appeared to be near a community center of some sorts.
“Why are you being like that? Chill, girl.” Yoko was saying to the girl across her.
“No….no! Somebody had to say it! You’re crazy. Why would you say that?”
The girl was obviously upset. She had a face of rage on. Eyebrows tightened.
“I’ve gotten sick of seeing that face from people.” Robert said.
“Ya. Me too. Me fucking too.” The woman Yoko said.
The teenage Yoko tried to defend herself. “Because it’s funny.”
The angry girl across from her didn’t let up. “But that’s the thing. It’s not funny.”
The girl said to Yoko, Coldly. “IT’S NOT FUNNY. SO WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?”
The Yoko girl shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m a straight girl?” She said,
indifferently, trying to calm herself down, as her heartbeat pounded.
The girl sitting across from her gave a “you’re a piece of shit” smirk to the young
The girl started to shake her head. The fucking dumb smirk still on.
A quiet voice…. “You’re craz-.”
The other girl was even angrier. “No, don’t pretend you’re not at fault here. You’re
part of the problem. You’re craz-.”
“Shut up. Do you here the shit that comes out of your mouth? Do your parents know
they gave birth to such a piece of shit. You smirk at me like I’m a piece of shit.
You’re the piece of shit, treating me like shit for no reason.”
“What a great fucking response, shithead. You want me to be crazy? I’ll be fucking
crazy. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To fucking think I’m shit. So there. Now you
think I’m shit. Why doesn’t your mom shove you back in her fucking vagina and slit
her throat? She being fucking dead and never giving birth to a douchebag that
treats people like shit for no reason is a fucking shame. It’s crazy she gave birth to you. I’m done nothing but be nice to you. I end up being treated like shit If I don’t conform to your beliefs about what a person should be? I end up being treated like
shit regardless, no matter how I fucking exist. Fuck you. You hate your fucking life.
Stay the fuck away from me. Piece of shit.”
Another one of the girls sitting across from the extremely angry, Young Yoko with
the boiling blood and pounding heart, responded.
“Damn, this girl’s bruta-.”
“You there. What’s you’re fucking problem? You’re just like her. You push girl’s
buttons because you want to see their bad side. In what world are you not fucked-
up? You’re a piece of shit too. Do your parents know they gave birth to a fucking
piece of shit who treats people that way?”
The girl got a smirk on her dumb face. “Yo, calm down. This girl’s craz-.”
“SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. YOU ARE ANOTHER JUST ANOTHER FUCKING DOUCHEBAG IN
A SEA OF DOUCHEBAGs. YOU DON’T REALIZE YOU ARE ONE. IT’S FUCKING SAD. I
COULD FUCKING CRY FOR YOU.”
“There is no FUCKING WAY TO HELP THE SITUATION. YOU’RE ALL PIECES OF SHIT.
YOU DON’T REALIZE WHAT YOU’RE DOING.”
The same girl across from Yoko that had just talked shoved her body forward
aggressively, attacking Yoko to destroy her.
“NO, YOKO, YOU’RE CRAZ-.”
“NO, NO, NO. YOU’RE SO WRONG. SO, SO, WRONG. YOU’RE ALL SO DUMB. YOU’RE
ACTING SO, SO DUMB IT’S HURTING ME.”
“No, YOKO, YOU’RE DUM-.”
“BUT THAT’S THE THING. I’M NOT. I’M TOO SANE FOR MY OWN GOOD. THAT’S WHY
I’M HANGING OUT WITH YOU LOSERS. I THOUGHT, SOMEWHERE, FOR SOME
REASON, I COULD BE FRIENDS WITH YOU GIRLS. I DON’T KNOW WHY. WHAT A
WASTE OF TIME. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT BEING “FRIENDS”, WHATEVER THE FUCK
THAT EVEN MEANS. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT GETTING ALONG. IT WAS ALL FUCKING
“Shut the fuck up!! Stop being so fucking loud!! WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING
“BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING VOICE, ASSHOLE!!”
“YOU’RE FUCKING CRAZY!!” The enraged girl, far beyond saving.
“YA? AND YOU’RE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!”
“Yoko, why would you say what you said?!”
“WHY ARE YOU ANGRY?! ARE YOU FUCKING INTIMINATED BY ME OR SOMETHING?!
DID WHAT I SAID ABOUT A DUMB SEXUAL THOUGHT FUCKING SCARE YOU, MARY?
WERE YOU TOO FUCKING STUPID TOO UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEONE WOULD THINK
ANYTHING LIKE THAT? THEY’RE FUCKING ALIVE AND THINK!!”
“She is crazy.” The final girl that was sitting with Yoko said, speaking up for the first time.
“YOU THINK I’M CRAZY BECAUSE I THINK.”
“Ya, she’s crazy.” The girls were staring at her with an extremely strong look of
distaste. “Anyone who says that is crazy. It’s not funny. Why does she think it’s
“YOU THINK I’M CRAZY BECAUSE I IMAGINE.”
“It’s not funny, Yoko. You’re crazy.” Mary.
“You are so, so wrong.” Yoko said.
“Yoko, do your parents love you?”
Robert, watching this scene of absolute madness unfold and enjoying it, felt a pit in his stomach.
“What did you just ask me? Ya. They love me. Why would you ask me that?”
The only thing that remained from the girls, minus the even more enraged one that
had started everything, were looks of very, very strong distaste for Yoko’s life.
“We don’t get along sometimes. Nastiness. Destruction. Stomach pits. War.
Sometimes I wonder if we’re father and daughter. But ya. He’s proud of me.”
“Are you sure about tha-.”
“You’ll all dumb.”
“Fuck you, Yok-.”
“No. Your lives are so, so wrong. I’m not an alien.”
The young Yoko that had lost her mind-I guess you could say she had become crazy-
stared at the very, very enraged girl that had started the breaking point.
“Emily? You’re the biggest douchebag of them all. I hung out with you in earlier
grades because you seemed ok. I sensed something was off with you. You were a bit
too friendly. A bit too happy. A bit too laughy. A bit too smiley. You were full of sweet, sugar-covered nonsense. I’ll give you something. You are a master of hiding your
real-self. A master at manipulating people. Making them see you how you want
them to see you-.”
“You don’t fucking know me, you’re a bitc-.”
“-Is that how you planned on surviving high school? No wonder you hid your true
self away. You’re the craziest person of all.”
“SHUT UP!!!” Emily threw down a fist, smashing the table with anger. “Shut the fuck
up!! You’re SO FUCKING CRAZY!!! FUCK!!”
“Because why not be a douchebag? You’re a failure and only live once, so screw it.
You don’t like people, so fuck them.”
“I understand. I think it’s funny.” Yoko suddenly, without warning, started laughing.
“Ya. I’m not a failure, so fuck you, but you get it. You were crazy, but now your cool.”
Emily started laughing with her. The laughter of hyenas.
“…. You’re a failure at your life, Emily.”
Emily’s crazed laughter suddenly stopped. Very abruptly. Like it had started.
“…. You’ve decided to go with it. You’ve accepted death. Actions don’t have
Emily stared at Yoko with her threating glare of hate.
“Fuck people. You’re going to die anyway.”
Emily’s threatening glare. “Ya. You get it.”
“…. It’s backwards.”
Emily didn’t say anything. Then: “What does backwards mean? Isn’t that just up to
the individual? What I think is backwards is crazy to me. So you’re crazy. Why do
you think I don’t like you? What you think is backwards is cool to me. So you’re
wrong. And ya, you are crazy.”
“You’re trying to justify it? You’re more disturbed then I thought.” Yoko responded.
“You’re more disturbed than you think.”
Emily gave the demeaning smirk she loved to give to girls.
“Yoko, you’re crazy. You’re backwards.”
“Why don’t you like me?”
“Because you’re craz-.”
“I don’t conform to what you think is “cool”? If I don’t listen to the same kind of
music you like, you don’t like me? If I’m not your idea of “cool”, you don’t like me.
You think there’s something wrong with me.”
“What’s wrong with me.”
Emily’s face strangely stalled for a moment, like she didn’t know how to react. Then, she gave her demeaning smirk again.
“What is it?”
Emily’s demeaned her, with the smirk still on her lips.
“You’re crazy. I’m telling you, you’re crazy. Why won’t you listen to me?”
“You’re wrong. But you think I’m crazy.”
Yoko let out a sigh.
“Not really. If I ever fail at my life, I’ll think like you. I’ll be normal.”
Still, Emily smirked that hideous life on her face. Like she knew something that
young girl Yoko didn’t.
“You will fail. You’re crazy. You will.”
“Not really. We’ll see.”
Yoko looked at that smirk. That smirk. On Emily’s mouth. A superior smile. Emily
thought she knew something Yoko and most people didn’t.
“What are you thinking? Emily. What are you hiding?”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. Since we’re all going to die.”
Yoko glanced at her. She looked for a bit.
“Then, find a point to your life.”
“We’re all going to die anyw-.”
“Find a point to your life.”
“You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”
Yoko loved silence.
Love is wrong.
The vision. Robert and the grown Yoko woman were still…. caught in the storm by it.
The grown Yoko sighed next to Robert. The same sigh she had given in the vision.
“I started to cut myself off from people a little.”
He listened to her.
“The truth is, I have memories of people loving me. I have memories of people
“You gave that Emily girl exactly what she wanted.”
“Saying “find a point to life” might be easier said then done, miss.”
“That doesn’t change anything.”
Robert thought. “That Emily girl would call you crazy.”
“It’s the truth, Robert.”
He thought. “How interesting, miss.”
She didn’t say anything else.
Actual storm clouds were beginning to form over where the community centre was.
Storm clouds formed in the sky over the girls, sitting down on the bench. Not the
“storm” that had just happened in the vision.
The girls suddenly stood up, except the young Yoko, who stayed down, seemingly
thinking by herself.
They were scrambling to get out of the approaching storm, as the heavy clouds
loomed with intimidation overhead.
The girls scrambled quickly out of sight, walking fast to a door leading into the
community centre, where they took refuge from the storm.
The teenage Yoko was simply on the bench, looking down at the wooden table she
was sitting at.
She was smiling to herself, her eyes glazed and detached in thoughtfulness.
The Yoko of the present had an open mouth on her face instead of a smile, like the
her on the bench ten-years-ago had on.
“Oh. I was relieved I was finally alone. By myself. The storm.”
She was looking at the past her in awe, surprised she was seeing this lonely vision
of her again.
“You see, Robert, It’s those girls that would make me not like people.”
He listened to her, as faint thunder was being heard near the community centre.
“I would be like Emily. I wouldn’t like people.”
She looked at the quietly thundering sky near the community centre, looking up
from the past her, who was smiling while looking down at the wood table in what
seemed to be thoughtfulness or peace.
The thunder continued. It grew a little louder.
“I just sat there for a while, thinking to myself. I felt so much peace after they had gone away. I remember thinking the storm made things even more peaceful.”
“Me, alone with what people usually escape from.”
“Normal people want to escape from a storm.”
She sighed, and turned to Robert to speak to him directly. “There’s really not a whole lot left to see in this storm. I sat there for a while, zoned out of reality. The storm eventually came, way, way later in the day. It started thundering a lot, a lot
more than now. But there was no rain, surprisingly.”
He was still listening.
“Ya. I sat there. The storm. The end. The day.”
Robert nodded at her.
“If you want, we can move on to my other visions, Robert.”
“Yes, miss. That’s ok with me. If you want.”
She glanced at herself a final time, sitting alone with her eyes glazed and smiling in her relief and at her pleasure of loneliness.
The storm was better company than company.
“…. Unless you want to stay right here and stare at me for the rest of the day,
Robert. It’s a long day. I sat there for the long day.”
He shook his head, with a small smile on his lips, mouth and face.
A smile that meant something different then what the smile of Emily meant to Yoko.
“No thank you, miss. As much as I find pleasure in looking at you, I think I want to
move on to another vision.”
listen for. Ya, no thanks.” The grown woman Yoko’s voice fell down a strong, deep
pitch at the end, making her voice deeper and a little tiresome as she expressed her
desire to not want to stay.
The “storm” vision began to go away. The stormy sky molded into the sky of the
oceanview. A familiar, much calmer sky that Yoko and Robert recognized. A late
evening, oceanview sky, with no storm clouds in it.
“That was not pleasant to see, miss.”
Yoko laughed at his rather obvious observation. “Ya.” She kept laughing at how
hilariously obvious it was. “You’re funny.”
“You said you started to withdraw from people a bit, to protect yourself. Be more
carful of who were your “friends.”
She nodded at this. “Ya, I did, Robert….”
“…. but, a little.”
They were standing by the oceanview, no vision of hers showing. It was very late
evening. The sunset had gone down a little more, almost halfway down over the
“I should show you the next vision of my life.” The grown Yoko said to Robert.
“Please, go ahead.” He responded. “I’m thinking about the chaos of the “storm”
“Ya…. well, best not to think too much.” She said, straight faced. She opened her
mouth at the end as she said in, her eyes widening a little bit, as her eyelashes
stuck out as they always did. Taking a quick look at the sunset to her right, her
She looked back at Robert, her pupils growing from not eyeing the sunset anymore.
“Actions don’t have consequences.”
He remembered the time he had done something special for someone special.
Whatever it was.
Her next vision, as she grew up in her life.
“I’m eighteen here too, Robert.”
The vision appeared. The teen, almost adult her, with her parents.
Something was wrong.
“This is when I had come home from a concert with friends one day. We had went-
again-to go see that amazing group we had gone seen before a few times. No new
music. Just for kicks. It was…. amazing. That should go without saying, considering
how much I’ve already said they were amazing.”
“Yoko, is everything all right? Are you…. arguing with your parents?” Robert asked
She seemed to avoid the question. She walked towards where she and her parents
were. Talking loudly. Through the hallway leading to the living room, by the stairs
and second-floor bathroom.
He followed her behind.
“A few of my friends had moved away. I was still close friends with that girl I told you I was friends with past high school, the one you saw when I was over at her house,
just her and me, in that vision we saw a long time ago. I was close friends with a
few others, girls, back at this time too, whom I had known for a while. Those were
the people I was pleased being with when we went to those concerts.”
Their footsteps approached the suddenly louder family.
“But some of the people I thought I was friends with weren’t much at all. You
already saw Emily. Those other girls. Both those bad memories. There was a little
more of that. I’m telling you, around this time, I started to become a bit angry
inside. I wasn’t sure what to think.”
The grown Yoko took a left into the dining room, quickly.
“I wonder if my family argued like the people who lived in this home before me.”
She said, not to him, but to no one in particular. In a way, talking to herself.
She brought a chair from the dining room, picking it up, and put it facing the living room. Then, she went back and did the same thing with another chair.
He sat down on the chair she brought him, turning his body and it to his right to
face the loud Yoko and her loud parents in their living room.
She sat down besides him, sitting straight upright with natural, perfect posture, a
straight, slightly curved back, and her thick legs spread apart. She turned to her
right to face the scene of her parents with him, her powerful eyes becoming alert
and attentive as she focused on her vision.
“I started to wonder what was real.”
Her parents were shouting at one another, as Yoko shouted at both her mom and
dad. She was crying.
“I wondered what was real to me, Robert….”
More yelling. The words were so hard to make out in the blasphemy. Crying.
“I cry too much. I cried too much that day.”
He simply watched.
“I fell apart.”
“What a happy family.”
Yoko looked at him, thinking what he had just said had made no sense.
“What do you mean, happy family?!” Her mouth was open and eyes surprised in
utter shock at his perception.
She continued with her shocked expression. “What on earth do you mean?”
“…. If you don’t get it, I’ll ask you: What caused the argument? Something you
What had caused the argument-Oh. The Yoko girl did remember.
“I wanted them to stop treating me like a baby. I felt like they were taking away my
“You went out with classmates to music concerts. Why do you say that?”
“They were so caring with me, it kind of hurt. I had become really upset recently
because of how little love I ended up feeling from a lot of people I tried to be
uplifting with in school. I wanted to be left alone, but they wouldn’t leave me alone.
They kept asking me what was wrong, what was wrong, what was wrong. They
wouldn’t stop. They cared to much. They were crazy-.”
“Let me stop you there. They cared a lot about you. They sensed something was
wrong. They were really concerned. So they kept asking you. That’s not crazy.”
She nodded. “Ya, I agree. I don’t think caring a lot is crazy. But they were taking
away my ability to think for myself. Like, they were demanding I tell them what they
sensed was troubling me.”
“It’s a little ridiculous, but I’m listening.”
“Oh. When I told them what was wrong-I eventually did-I felt like they looked down
at me. Like, I was so crazy that I couldn’t make friends or something. But I had tried to be uplifting. Everyone had just gotten angry at me. So no, they were wrong.”
“I seriously sensed they did. They wanted to stare at me with concern in their eyes.
I think they thought I was an outsider or something. But I had a few friends left.”
The grown lady suddenly smiled coyly, in shy reflection. “There was this boy-
The yelling and screaming continued among a “happy family.”
“-he was really cute. I saw him when a friend introduced me to him. I sometimes
saw him. I never introduced myself to him. He moved away, then I never got to see
him again. I still have visions of him. Ten years later.”
She blushed red and smiled a little, looking straight ahead at the backyard door as
her eyes showed dreaminess, perhaps imagining these “visions” of this “really cute”
“I’ve never seen you blush, miss. It’s out of character for you.”
“Ya. It is out of character. It’s not like me.” She was imagining still, the “visions”.
“Ten years ago…. what a lot time…. I never saw him.”
The yelling between the family was a distant noise, as she tried to focus on what
her visions had left of this boy, ten years later. Something more uplifting, an escape from her reality of argument. She struggled to gather what was left…. a decade too
Robert let her think. “I don’t want to disturb you. Think, my miss. Think for as long as you want.”
Yoko barely heard Robert’s voice as she tried to envision whatever the “he” had
looked like, acted like, sounded like.
Somehow, he had lasted through years of time in her mind.
She was still smiling, pleased at her thoughts. Her eyes were shining, glimmering
with her dreams.
“I feel…. a little happy.” She said this amidst her vision not of the boy, but of her parents arguing with her, and with each other.
Robert was surprised. She seemed to be showing a glimmer of joy, even amidst the
chaos of her parents arguing with a past her. It didn’t matter. Her eyes showed a
very slight sparkle, wide and deep dark to them, as she looked of into space at the
boy she had never forgotten about imagined visions.
Robert couldn’t help but let her be, calling no attention to what was happening in
her memory of her family, this year. He let her be inside her own head, thinking the
most pleasant thoughts she could about someone people may have long forgotten,
but she never had let herself forget that pleasant boy. The pleasant boy she so
longed for, to be held in his arms, if only to know how it would feel.
Inside her imagination, visions of that particular, special boy played over and over
ago, through the years, with no end.
The grown woman beside Robert was simply staring off into space. Her powerful
dark eyes were distant. Another planet.
He smiled a little and looked down, as screaming from both parents at their
daughter echoed and bounced off the walls of the living room, all the way through
the halls of the home, and outside, where there was a small open window near the
“Ok, Robert…. I think I’ve dreamed enough….”
“Miss….” He whispered quietly, letting his voice travel in the air, not particularly
directed at Yoko.
“…. I’m awake.” The yelling off the parents of their teenage daughter Yoko still was
going. They were not relenting, and so wasn’t the teenage girl Yoko.
“Ya…. I was a stubborn girl back then. I’m still kind of now, but not as bad as I was then.”
“As a teenager?”
“Ya. Mostly when I was this age. When I was eighteen. I think the stubbornness
came out from having to figure out what I wanted to do with myself when I grew up.
My parents meant well, but I didn’t want them to tell me what to do. I was very
stubborn. As you can see from me arguing with them in my memory here.”
“That’s ok, miss. You wanted to do something with your future. I understand you.”
“Thanks for understanding.”
The sounds of the arguing were audible when the words suddenly showed through.
“Yoko, you need to make up your mind about what you want to do after high school!
It’s so important for you, Yoko!!” The young Yoko’s dad said to her, his voice tense
with forced calmness for his caring for his young daughter.
“Stop telling me what I have to do, dad! I can figure that out by myself. Please,
dad!! I don’t know! Just stop, alright?!”
can be so proud of, as our lovely young daughter-!”
“Stop it, mom!! I know, I know! You and dad have lectured me constantly about it!!
Get off my back, please!”
Her mom, Lucia, looked concerned and worried at Yoko as she tightened her
eyebrows by sloping them upwards, making sad eyes over the possibility of Yoko’s
future for the young, barely teenage girl.
“Oh, Yoko.” Lucia said, frowning a little. “Your father and I…. we just care about you.
You know we’ve always cared about people. We always tried to instill that positive
quality in you, and you really did take so well to it. You became such a positive
young girl, my Yoko.”
The young Yoko, formerly arguing with her parents, was now quiet. “Ya…. I know
mom.” She stopped to look at her father, also looking at her with a concerned, sad
look on his face, his eyes showing genuine love for his daughter.
“Yoko,” Her father started, “My beautiful daugh-.”
“No, dad. You know how much I don’t like that word. It’s a word. It’s empty. It means nothing. You might as well be spitting, or breathing, into the air.”
Robert turned to his miss. “My miss, do you really think that?”
He sighed, looking at him with her powerful eyes, and nodded.
“Ya. I do. It’s air to me.”
Her eyes reminded him of something. The power in them….
“-Yoko, the point is, you’re our daughter and we love you? Can’t you see that?”
Her father suddenly showed worry. Yoko turned to him, concerned. Her mouth was
“Dad? What’s wrong? You seem so worried.”
He frowned. “Do you remember what I told you, Yoko? You’re such an attractive girl.
In more ways than just simple attraction…. you’re desirable for male needs and
wants, Yoko. Very, very desirable to them and their urges-.”
“Dad! What the fuck?!”
“-The thought of you living by yourself, with only yourself to rely on, scares me to
death. You don’t know what kind of men are out there, waiting to take advantage of
your body and looks, Yoko. I think you can defend yourself I you had to, very well as I taught you, but the thought of them trying to use you as a play toy to satisfy
them….and you being helpless or too kind, letting them into you without
considering the results of your actions….”
“Dad?! Are you going mad? Are you saying that guys are going to try and rape me
when I’m living alone by myself?!”
“Yoko, sometimes the urge overstimulates the mind…. you can easily cause those
urges in them to come out, my very alluring daughter….”
“Dad, no!! You even wrestled with me when I was younger, and I held my own
against you!! And you’re strong, dad! So I don’t think you have anything to fear! You think I would accept men into me that easily?!”
“No, Yoko, I didn’t mean for you to take it so offensively….my precious daughter….”
“It sounds like your father is giving you a compliment, but warning against the
drawbacks of what you are, miss.”
The adult Yoko giggled a little. “Ya. Thinking back on it, that’s a lot what it sounded like. I compliment, in his own way. That was nice of him. I shouldn’t have got so
upset at him. I shouldn’t have gotten upset at him at all, Robert.”
Outside, it was snowing. “Winter, miss?”
She smiled as she looked at the window near the back door that led to the
backyard. A window, besides another, small window, that was open with it. A few
snowflakes fell inside, disintegrating as they fell on the tiled floor, from both open windows. The small drops of water showed on the floor.
“This is becoming disturbing, my miss. I have trouble watching your family arguing,
“I’m sorry, Robert. Did you want….” She drifted off as she stared outside at the
snowfall in her reflection of the day. “We should get going, Robert. If you want.”
Robert glanced at the snowfall, similar to snowfalls he had seen in the past.
Similar weather. A similar place? The world outside gave no clue to where she and
her family had lived.
“I would like to go now, miss.” He stopped. “It’s so hard to see anything outside.”
She nodded, smiling a little as she often did at his remarks, looking outside one
more time to remember this period of time. “Ya, you can’t really see much, can’t
you? I love it. The weather….is special.”
A few snowflakes were falling upon the shore and ocean itself, out of place on the
oceanview, in this time of year. They fell in the near-dark, as the sun had now gone
down so, so close to its halfway point.
“It seems so out of place, huh, Robert?”
“Yes. It does, miss.”
The snowflakes turned to water in the ocean.
“This oceanview….do you know when I saw it?”
“When you saw it?”, Robert asked the woman.
“I don’t, miss.”
She looked far out at it.
“Miss? Another one of your visions?”
“Oh. Ya. Of course.”
The day hadn’t seemed to progress that much. The sunset was so close to halfway.
A vision formed from a wave.
seemed to friendly. I didn’t want to be friendlier than what I was. I wanted to protect myself. So I became more cold and a little rough. Stronger, in my own way, for my
own sake, for my own well-being. It was who I truly was. I needed to have a tough
shell, as an adult woman.”
“…. Robert?” He was gone.”
A vision, related to nothing.
He stood near a restaurant and parking garage, surrounded with cement.
Somewhere in a city.
For some reason, this location in the city reminded him of her, when he had first
saw her, grown up.
“What is this?” Visions of her flashed in his mind as he looked around at the city.
Disconnected images of her, somehow connecting with this spot in the city, but
disconnected with any sense it made.
Visions of her flashed over the parking garage and restaurant.
“I wonder if she lived near here?”
“I wonder if she came here in the past?”
He would never know.
Visions of her floated above the city, the air above the restaurant, above the
“She’s in air?”
“Robert? Where did you go?”
He was back with his miss. “I think I wandered off, miss. I must be getting tired.”
She looked at him. “How strange….”
Her vision had been developing in front of her.
“Here. Let’s see it together. Don’t wander off without me, ok?”
The vision showed the young, eighteen-year old Yoko, packing clothes and a
toothbrush into luggage.
“Where you going away somewhere, miss?”
“Ya, my family took me out of the school I had left for the year, for a vacation in…. I think it was the Dominican Republic.”
Downstairs, the Young Yoko’s father called to her.
“Yoko! It’s dinnertime! You can pack your luggage after, alright?!”
“Your dad has your same loud voice, Yoko.”
She smiled as she watched the vision of the past her, more grown up now, running
down the staircase leading to the main floor.
“He and I do. I sure lived in a nice, comforting house, all throughout my childhood
and teenage hood.”
“How wealthy were your parents, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“No, I don’t mind you asking. They were pretty wealthy. My dad made good money
from his work as a translator. He was also away for a long time, sometimes. I missed
him. But that’s besides the point.”
“She was-she is-a fashion designer. That’s why I got so interested in what I wore
myself. It was after her.”
“That’s nice to hear, miss.”
“I’m gone from one of my visions…. again.”
The upstairs was so quiet. All the windows were shut, letting no noise in.
“What did you do that was special with your parents?”
“Oh. We went to go see a concert together when I was an adult.”
“A year from now.”
Outside, it was summer. “So I went away with some of my family this year. My
cousin, Yuna, and her mom and dad came along.”
“Close to the end of school?”
There wasn’t much left in her vision.
“There’s not much left here, my miss.”
“Ya. You’re right. It was a quiet day. A weekend. My parents didn’t do much all day. I didn’t do much, either.”
“Do you want to move on miss?”
The vacation she went on with her parents, cousin and her parents.
He and she watched as it happened and finished.
“I had a really, really good time there, surprisingly. I wasn’t expecting it to be that much of an experience. We swam in the pool at the resort we went to and played
volleyball on the beach a lot, my cousin and I. My parents were off, doing their own
Robert smiled a little and nodded, looking at the tropical climate she was in.
“It’s wonderful weather, miss.” The heat of the sun warmed his body.
“Ya. It really was.”
The teenager her-so close to an adult-came into view. She was wearing a black
bikini, as her distinct curvy body showed through.
Robert couldn’t help but stare at her, his mouth open in awe and his eyes frozen.
“Wonderful. A goddess.”
The grown woman standing beside him smiled and looked down, her cheeks
blushing red from the flattery he had laid on her.
“Why would anyone forget a vision like you?”
“I’ll admit, Robert, I was thinking about moving out sometimes when I was away. But
not too much to trouble me. I enjoyed this special week.”
He locked his eyes with the past her and the present her. Indistinguishable power.
Powerful eyes. That had never changed about her.
“There’s something that’s been on my mind. You’re eyes, my miss…. they remind
me of a boy’s when I was younger. But they’re so, so different.”
The woman didn’t say a word as she payed attention to him. She was smiling.
“He had eyes of threat. You have eyes of power.”
That Yoko woman he had met a long time ago…. she gave a wide, uplifting, powerful
smile of joy to Robert. Her power eyes scrunched up.
It started to rain in the vision, as people hurried inside to escape from it.