JUST WRITE RIGHT
(Part – 1)
(Sprinkled with Humour)
A handy teaser-booklet, of use to students, teachers, copywriters, authors and English-enthusiasts
Based on
English, the Funny Language
Humorous Teaching-experiences
Humour in Accounts
And Fun with Words
Conducted, in variation, depending on the maturity level of the audience, for over 1,00,000 students, of class three and above, from 290 schools and more than 20 colleges and institutions of higher learning, in 14 years.
Just for memory
This book authored in August, 2019
-02-
I have conducted four programmes:
Humorous Teaching-experiences
Fun with Words
English, the Funny Language
Humour in Accounts
in variations, depending on the maturity level of the audience, for more than 1,00,000 students, of class 3 and above, from 290 schools and over 20 colleges and institutions of higher learning, in 14 years.
Incidentally, I am also a freelance content-writer and have written content for majors like Amazon, Walmart, ABB, Volvo, Crompton Greaves, Autodesk, Vijaya Bank, Karnataka Tourism, Siemens, etc. and for more than 100 real-estate-developers.
And, I have to my credit, stories, cartoons, comic strips, etc. published in newspapers and magazines in English, Kannada and Urdu.
I also have to my credit, a published book on English grammar. I have ghost-written a novel (published) for an aspiring author.
Based on the above experiences, I could write this book.
Just for reflection
Knowledge says, “I know so much.”
Wisdom says, “I know only so much.”
Ego says, “What is there for me to learn from others?”
Humility says, “Let us all learn from one another.”
-03-
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By doing so, in any author’s case, for that matter, you would only be breaching the copyrights owned by the author and depriving him / her of his / her rightful earning and belittling his / her efforts.
If you are happy with this book, please do recommend to others. If you would like to share an opinion or make a suggestion, please email to
accountshariprakash@yahoo.com
Depending on the feedback, Just Write Right Part – 2 (a bigger volume) will be compiled.
(Regret, I am not computer-savvy. Kindly excuse errors in formatting)
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Place ‘only’ anywhere in the following sentence.
He told his friend that she has started eating apples.
-04-
…before you proceed
_______________________________________________
Never make fun of people who speak broken English. It means they know another language.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Just a minute…..
……before you proceed
Just Write Right (Part – 1) is not an exhaustive list of all probable errors that might creep in, in English-writing. It is an effort to list out, with explanations, wherever needed, the common, noticeable mistakes that are being committed in English.
What, according to this book, is argued as an error might be treated otherwise in the future. And, what according to this book, is treated as correct might be, in future, dismissed as wrong. It is all a part of evolution of a language. Evolution of a language involves changes in meanings, spellings and positioning of words (in a sentence). Evolution, for the purposes of this discussion, could be chronological (from one period of time to another period of time) or geographical (from one place to another place).
And then, we have certain words, which are ‘unenglish’ and not found in the dictionary. But still, such words are commonly used. For example, many use the word ‘annexure’ in place of
‘enclosure’. There is no word as ‘annexure’.
Till recently, people used ‘prepone’ to suggest ‘advancement’ of an event, ie., rescheduling an event to an earlier date. There used to be no such word as ‘prepone’. But, recently, the Oxford dictionary accepted ‘prepone’ as a word thereby legitimising its usage. Similarly, ‘annexure’, too, might gain recognition in the future.
Just think it over
Why do we have noses that run, and feet that smell? - Author unknown
Keeping this in mind, while compiling this work, a conscious decision has been taken to allow such words to appear in this book, so that the readers do feel comfortable while reading the same.
Any language, for that matter, is not a completely-evolved language, be it in terms of full vocabulary, finality of spellings and punctuation, positioning of words, and so on.
For example, with the advancement in technology, a word like
‘mobile’ has acquired an additional meaning ‘telephone’. ‘Walkman’, a hearing instrument worn over the ears while the wearer is on the move, is totally a new word, thanks to technology.
Even spellings of certain words have changed over the years. For example, ‘arguement’ has become ‘argument’. The ‘e’ has been dropped.
When it comes to positioning of words, the best example is a
‘cheque’. Instead of saying ‘pay one thousand rupees’, it is written as ‘pay rupees one thousand’. Before banking system came into existence, the former form of sentence used to be the norm.
That does not mean that the use of a language be given an unbridled freedom. This may lead to defacement, disfiguring and death of a language, with too many people contributing too many (at times, contradictory) ideas.
Just put on your thinking-cap
(Honestly, no googling) List out all the 13 three-letter body-parts (no bad words). Example, eye (12 more to go)
Just like a government does not stop making, say, traffic laws because accidents anyway do take place, we, too, should not allow the murder of a language by indiscriminately introducing newer words, altering the spellings of existing ones, and repositioning words in a sentence. Let us do our best to use a language within a set of guidelines.
In spite of this, if a few changes take place, so be it. At least, there won’t be a total transformation of a language (a hilarious example can be found in the section ‘English to German’ in a latter part of this book).
Reader participation in the form of discussions (by email) would help us carry out corrections, if any, in our future editions, which could also become progressively voluminous.
Please email to
accountshariprakash@yahoo.com
Just be smart
Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Use the dollar as a bookmark. - Fred Stole
The earliest man probably lived like animals, showing only a few expressions like anger, fear, affection, etc. As long as his bodily urges like hunger, thirst, etc. were met, he, like animals, did not crave for anything else. So, his need to communicate with others of his kind was satisfied by mere growling, screaming and so on.
With the introduction of agriculture, mining, farming, and domestication of animals, man became more and more refined in his behaviour. Animal-like behaviour progressively gave way to gestures. These gestures themselves became more and more dignified.
Single-word communication slowly caught-up with the evolution. As written communication, through pictorials, lines, sketches, etc., developed, unstructured group of words made way for patterned forms of sentences.
With the establishment of civilizations, grammar got introduced into the language. Grammar itself grew into a separate ‘subject’. Now, we have courses and books on grammar. Certain percentage of marks, in examinations, is set aside for questions on grammar alone.
So, it may be understood that just communicating is not enough. Communicating in grammatically-correct formats is equally important.
Just not kidding
Be a slave to your studies. Soon, you will become its master. - Author unknown
Consider this sentence.
The employer wanted a good and an honest man to work for him.
From the above sentence, we understand that the man should be good and honest, the two characteristics the employer is looking for.
Now, read this sentence.
The employer wanted an English speaking man to work for him.
Here, the sentence, if read in a mischievous way, appears to mean that the man should be English (and not, probably, Indian, Japanese, etc.) and should be of ‘speaking’ and not of ‘dumb’ type. Or, to make it look funny in another way, we can interpret the sentence as follows. The employer wanted an English (not a Japanese, Indian, etc.), who speaks a language called ‘man’, to work for him.
Just trying to be funny
“What is your father’s name?”
“Laughing.”
“What is your mother’s name?”
“Smiling.”
“Are you kidding?”
“No. Kidding is my brother. I am Joking.”
- Author unknown