Oneness - Clarity and Joy of Life through Advaita by Madhukar - HTML preview

What is consciousness?

MADHUKAR: An enigma. Consciousness is a neurobiological riddle. Researchers and philosophers of consciousness like Thomas Metzinger of Mainz speak of the phenomenological self, describing it not as a thing but as a process.

His credo sounds radical: He claims that not a single self exists in the world.

For me there is most certainly a Self, a matter of quite straightforward reality that takes its strength from the transcendental, but—and in this point our ideas almost converge—there is no personal self.

According to Metzinger, we are constantly confusing ourselves with a model of selfhood that has temporarily been activated in our brains. “The subject-

64

tive experience of being somebody results when a conscious information-processing system operates using a transparent model self.” The notion that one is this or that is unconscious, he says, because it is transparent. “Since you cannot recognize your model of the Self as a model, it is transparent: You look right through it and fail to see it. But you are looking through it.” After a brush with death at age sixteen, Sri Ramana Maharshi recognized the existence of a consciousness independent of the body to which he gave the name Self or sometimes Heart.

He incisively formulated the question that leads to the recognition of this absolute Self: “Who am I?”

It is my wish for you that you will be able to enjoy this silence transfigured as light, this Being utterly liberated from history. Whether you are conscious of it or not. You already are.

To dwell in the Self for one moment is more beneficial than three lives filled with good deeds. This is what a Buddha said about a moment of Self-consciousness. One of the main pillars of Buddhism is compassion. In addition to this, a Buddhist has the conviction that leading his life well will enable him to have a better next life. Christians strive to lead a good life filled with brotherly love, with the reward of winding up in heaven afterward. Heaven as dogma.

The one who has awakened, then, says that to dwell in the Self is better than everything that we all consider essential for a harmonious life in our global society: tolerance, good deeds, compassion, love, altruism, and brotherly love.

Why? Because good deeds alone cannot liberate you.

And when you realize that you are That, you don’t have to speculate on getting into heaven after this life, and you don’t have to be afraid of hell. You also won’t have to wait for another chance, another life, but instead you will experience something wonderful right away: You will experience that heaven is already right here. This is called heaven on earth.

The only thing that darkens the heavens is the notion that one is a person, with all a person’s mental states and priorities. Pure illusion. Scientists who study consciousness and brain researchers are now able to claim that there is no such thing as a person. They have reached the conclusion: There are six

65

billion nobodies in the world. And yet our experience of our own identity is so durable. In any case, leaving it behind would be practical, because a nobody cannot have any problems. Problems exist only for the Person, or to put it in more modern terms: challenges.

It is also my realization that there is no personal self. What we call Self in this tradition is not a personal self but rather absolute Self, the eternal, everlasting Self that reveals itself as limitless consciousness, or, as I heard myself saying yesterday, as silence transfigured as light.

Absolute freedom. No past, no future. Sheer bliss. That this notion might not appeal to the one or the other of you is something I must accept. This is your personal history, your own ancient programming that appears to you more convincing and more attractive.

This isn’t even your fault. Who could blame a robot for what it’s been programmed with? Even though I am not a science fiction fan, I nevertheless know that in this genre there are even cases in which robots are dissatisfied with the limitations of their programs and strive for freedom. Well, if even robots can strive for freedom, why should you not do so as well?

The most advantageous thing about human existence is that one can recognize who one is. The Bonobo—the ape most closely related to us besides the Chimpanzee, sharing 98.4% of our genetic material—is primarily focused on sex, not freedom. I’m just saying this to reassure any Bonobos in the audience.

Relax, you’re just doing what your genes have programmed you to do.

Whoever has successfully transcended these tendencies through millennia of cultivation or suppression and is no longer primarily focused on eating and material security might possibly have some interest in freedom.

For one individual, this interest might come from suffering, for another from joy or ecstasy. And yet another one might not understand why she is attracted to truth and freedom—the attraction simply happens.

Regardless of your motivation, your background and your history, you can make use of what we call self-enquiry, the realization of true Self. You can submit to what transpires during the process of self-enquiry. Or else admit whatever happens of its own accord, in other words surrender. Surrender to the divine.

I am happy to be here with you. I would like to have more clarity in my thoughts.

I have the feeling that my thoughts are a lie.

66

MADHUKAR: What sort of lie?

Maybe it’s that my mind enjoys playing the role of daughter.

MADHUKAR: Apparently not—I can see that you are crying. Not even your mind is enjoying this.

Being the dear daughter who helps her mother and her family—I want to recognize this role so that I don’t have to play it! It makes me feel good to support my family, but I have the feeling that somehow something isn’t right. I’m not getting anywhere. My mind wants to do something that it actually cannot do, but it can’t let go either.

MADHUKAR: Who is the mind?

My thoughts.

MADHUKAR: But you’re turning them into a living creature.

I wasn’t conscious of doing that. There’s a situation going on in my family right now that makes me feel uncertain where I belong—whether I should stay out of things or keep going as I’ve been doing.

MADHUKAR: What are you doing in your family?

I’m trying to support my mother.

MADHUKAR: What does this support look like?

Emotional and financial.

MADHUKAR: I can understand the financial support. You have a good job, you earn enough money and so you support your mother. That’s perfectly clear.

Does your mother appreciate this?

Yes.

67

MADHUKAR: So there’s no problem in this particular area. And now let’s look at the emotional side of the story. How does that look?

She’s always happy when I come to see her.

MADHUKAR: And it makes you happy too when you visit her?

Yes.

MADHUKAR: So where’s the difficulty?

I can see that my dependency on her is too great. I would like to take a step back and gain some distance. I ought to let go. It’s just gotten to be too much for me.

MADHUKAR: Can you explain this to your mother?

I’ve already told her, but maybe not clearly enough.

MADHUKAR: Then live your decision clearly. This will help your mother find this clarity as well.

I feel as if a part of me is unwilling to let go.

MADHUKAR: Make a point of communicating openly and honestly with your mother, even just once, and watch what happens. When you feel so moved, go visit her, and when you don’t, then don’t. This is the best thing. I have traveled around the world for many years, and my parents didn’t even know where I was. They had to get used to this. Today I visit them more often, though from my parents’ point of view it still isn’t all that often. But both sides enjoy these visits. We have an honest and sincere relationship. This is good. Live authenti-cally! Otherwise you will suffer, and others will as well. Being closed off and unclear are merely products of your mind, they do not originate in truth. Do not worry too much about the future.The future will come of its own accord. Be spontaneous. Do not burden yourself with the future.

Hearing these words from you means a lot to me. Thank you.

68

MADHUKAR: Give your mother my regards. What counts is the love in your heart, not the form.

I have the desire to clarify who I am. Since I met you, a great deal of peace and clarity have come into my life. All the same, I still experience moments of confusion or identification.

MADHUKAR: That is completely normal. When you connect yourself with clarity and orient yourself toward your true Self, toward the eternal source, any number of impurities can float to the top. This isn’t a problem. Just don’t allow yourself to be poisoned by this impurity. But I have no doubt that you are able to distinguish between a blossom and garbage. An honest heart has this ability to differentiate. The suffering mind does not have this ability. Is something now unclear?

No. Thank you.

MADHUKAR: Dwell in this “thank you.” The result is already contained in these two words. Thanking, feeling gratitude, is a beautiful thing. When you thank someone, you are partaking in this beauty.

MADHUKAR: Did you call your daughter yesterday?

No, I didn’t manage it yesterday.

MADHUKAR: Why not? Call her today. What could be more important for you than a good relationship with your daughter, affectionate contact? How could you postpone such a thing? Have you still failed to understand that your daughter is asking for your love? I spoke about this yesterday already.

What was more important for you to do yesterday evening? Having supper?

Supper was part of it.

69

MADHUKAR: Yes, that was more important to you. Your daughter is anorexic, and you place higher value on eating than you do on your love for your daughter. People are so hardheaded. You can tell your daughter: “Now I have a reason to call you. There is a man named Madhukar. He loves you, he loves you with all his heart.”

Hi, my name is Joel. I know the feeling of just simply Being, I know how to enjoy this simple feeling, but for some time now I’ve been unable to feel this, I always have such a powerful sense of unrest inside me, and I can’t find my way out.

MADHUKAR: Fortunately you have now come to see an expert in restlessness.

I too suffered from this malaise. Why? Because I was not satisfied with all the things that were appearing before me. Something in you is like what I experienced: There is a consciousness that is seeing all these thoughts, desires, plans, all this pleasure and pain, this joy and terror, all these activities and obligations, all these disappointments. Can you recognize this?

Yes.

MADHUKAR: And so it is incumbent on you simply to return again and again to this consciousness, this presence, whenever you get lost in this wandering, this restlessness, in this being here, being there, being this and that. Just return to consciousness itself. Put consciousness on consciousness itself.

At the beginning it will seem as if this costs you additional effort, as if it is an activity. Why? Because at first you are orienting your mind, your restless mind.

Then all at once it will start happening of its own accord, because you have found yourself once more as consciousness. And then you are no longer a program, the product of all your imaginings and projections. Sri Ramana Maharshi saw that this very problem existed in all people and therefore he formulated this highly effective question: “Who am I?” He knew that everyone is lost within his own person. For some, it is like a dream that puts them to sleep.

For you it was a restless dream. Fact: It is a dream. But who are you?

Self-enquiry is like an axe that chops through all imaginings with a single blow. I am placing this axe in your hand. And I have sharpened it beforehand. It

70

is sharp as a knife blade. You don’t have to sharpen it yourself. But putting the axe to use is up to you. I cannot force you to be happy.

Since I accepted the present my master had given me, even before I had begun to see him as my master—because I knew he spoke the truth—and since I put his present to use again and again despite the pain this caused me, the pain of disillusionment, I know that it is possible for you as well. I see no difference between you and me. I myself first put this self-enquiry into practice for several years in my life and above all in the presence of my master, and only later did I ask him questions which allowed me to clarify my last remaining doubts. You, however, have the chance to clarify your doubts or questions right away. Because there is an urgency in you. Not an urgency that should lead to stress, but one that should produce consistency. A sense of resolve that would do everyone good.

I have been occupied recently by my lack of trust and the unbelievable amount of strength it costs me to go on living without trust. It is the cruelest torment.

But as of yesterday I have an idea of what it must be like to feel divine trust.

MADHUKAR: What happened yesterday?

Together with some of my friends I took part in a silence ritual in which the feeling of trust in myself was to be strengthened. I was able to engage with this ritual, but now my trust is vanishing again I want so badly to intensify this feeling. But there’s always this little voice, this ego, saying “I know better.”

MADHUKAR: Better than to trust?

In the end it’s all really just the same old story of testing one’s strength against God.

MADHUKAR: So you are testing your strength against that of God. That’s certainly presumptuous. It’s a good thing you’re aware of this. This awareness is your greatest chance. Now you have three possibilities: Either you win against God, and then you can be in charge of the whole world, the whole universe. No doubt you’d arrange a few things differently, right? In your omnipotence you would surely start off by providing yourself with joy, love and trust. The second

71

possibility is that you run out of strength, that you go mad or get sick and die.

And what is the third possibility?

To let God win.

MADHUKAR: Most people want to fight and win because they always want to have more money, more power, more whatever. But God doesn’t want to win—

God doesn’t fight at all. Without what you are calling God, you wouldn’t even have a little ego. The ego wants to have it better, but without the Divine, without Being, you wouldn’t even be here at all.

Gratitude is advisable, as is humility. Courage to recognize that you are causing yourself unnecessary problems with this “little ego.” That there is an inex-haustible, mysterious, marvelous force that is making it possible for you to be here in the first place. If you know who you are, then you also know who God is. And that there is nothing to fight over. Everything is here. This is the holiest of rituals—being this clarity, this truth at every second, in every moment and not ceding it to those old familiar warhorses: thoughts and feelings. In the consciousness that you are clarity, you will see the most mysterious ritual that exists and takes place at every moment, namely: the creation of the universe.

When I look into your eyes, I feel stillness, silence.

MADHUKAR: This is precisely what saved me. I had so many pleasures in my life. And I loved the feeling of security with my master. And I found myself again in the freezing-cold terrors of disillusionment. In the despair of the night, when nothing seemed to be true any longer, to have any value, I turned to Papaji. In harsh reality, and always whenever I was unable to find love and freedom in appearances, in my person—this love and freedom that we are calling our true Self. Then self-enquiry was my salvation and the best method. Enquiry is awakening from every dream. Until it has been clarified beyond all doubt who is. Cast aside everything you have ever learned, read and assumed.

So this means that I should no longer believe in these destructive states that keep arising within me?

72

MADHUKAR: Why should you? As an intelligent being you can see that they have their origin in the cells, the genes and the experiences of your life.

There are plenty of models that attempt to explain this. Even the scientists don’t know what the truth of the matter is. Every five to ten years, a different explanation is announced and celebrated. And all the models point to the same thing in the end: That in the end nothing exists. One thing I have learned: Nothing is silence and peace.