Nietzsche and the Papier-Mâché Boss (November 2022)

So, there's a new tradition that's migrated up from the South and it may very well change the way we celebrate Labour Day in the Great White North. It promises to be more popular than the prohibition against wearing white shoes after International Workers' Day so as not to be gauche and look prolish. It may however run a close second to the celebration of the post-Labour Day start of school, which many parents pine for during the long days of summer.

This new tradition involves a papier-mâché piñata, a handful of popular distillations of the writings of F.W. Nietzsche, and your choice of favourite boss to hate ... and everyone has at least one of those. They're fairly ubiquitous among our race—the human race. You can find them at work, of course, but they're also at home to greet you at the end of the workday. They can be found in schools and universities and even in places of deity worship. However, for Labour Day, one should try to limit the search to the workplace, otherwise the theme and purpose of the holiday may be missed and that's precisely what the new ritual has been introduced to counter. Too many people have come to accept the holiday (and who wouldn't) but fail to appreciate its significance. At the risk of appearing to show favouritism, the new attitude might be considered roughly equivalent to the move to 'Keep Christ in Christmas.'

The dance of the piñata boss will revivify the holiday and re-align it with its true roots. Every working man and working woman will feel rejuvenated and empowered at the climax of the dance, which represents the symbolic victory over the tyrannical boss.

And why is that, you ask? It is because the employers' will to power (dominating and domineering) will be shattered, the employer superman's transcendence of moral obligation will be brought crashing to the ground in fragments to be consumed by the workers, and the workers' amor fati (herd-like resignation) will be turned to violent retribution—symbolically, naturally. And while the boss will rise up again, there will be reserved in our calendars this one day of the year when the scales of universal justice will balance.

It is not essential, and not advised, that the piñata boss be a faithful rendering of the intended. The point to be made is more abstract and therefore more all-inclusive than could be made by creating a singular likeness in effigy or by affixing names.

There's every reason to believe that the new custom will catch on ... and quickly. Children love candy and sweets, and adults crave the cathartic feeling of destroying an adversary and bully. What's not to enjoy? And it's fun for the whole family. There's also educational value for the young, which can't be replicated in any other socially normalized activity. An activity that synthesizes the varied human experiences of another culture, the wisdom and folly of philosophy, and the ever-present boss figure.

I've already picked out mine through the year 2051 and attached a codicil to my will in the event that I predecease my list.

Of course, there are organic alternatives such as the one below, an instinctive ritual that has been observed at various times and places around the world:

She was dead, finally. All of us went to make sure. We still couldn't believe it. We skipped the memorial service and went straight to the cemetery ... and waited. With steely eyes, jaws and fists clenched, we watched every last piece of dirt drop to fill in the hole, as if every speck of dirt was needed to hold the coffin in place. ('The Boss,' 2013)