The Skating Rink by Chrys Romeo - HTML preview

3

When I opened my eyelids, I could hear the sound of the breathing machine,

like a roaring buzz in the background. Light flooded my eyes. I thought I saw

the white ceiling of a room, but the image quickly turned into a plastic and

aluminum roof. After a few seconds I realized I was actually on a bus, sitting

close to the front side. The roaring sound wasn’t a breathing machine, it was the

bus engine.

“Good morning!” I heard a friendly voice.

I turned around. River was smiling at me, with her deep mysterious eyes

glistening in the joyful morning light. She was seated behind me and was

listening to something on a pair of big blue headphones that matched her light

blue jeans jacket. I wondered if she was wearing blue just to harmonize her

presence with mine… I was so happy to see her that I didn’t really care anymore

where we were.

I looked around: the bus was full of teenagers. It looked like a school trip. I

was glad to realize I was one of them again, even if the most important thing

about it was not the fact that I was a part of a group, but having my life ahead of

me and being equal to River… it meant having a chance with her. It meant

everything.

The road ahead seemed endless. The sun was so bright, it was blinding. I

tried to look out the window and I protected my eyes with the palm of my hand.

“Here”, I heard River say. “Take my sunglasses”.

She offered me her sunglasses, which was a generous gesture that meant

getting closer to her by something that belonged to her directly - and I put them

on without a second thought. Suddenly, I felt so much better, not only because

of the shades, but because I was sharing something personal with her - and

because the view had changed completely, everywhere around… I could see

galaxies and comets flying by the side of the road, stars and the deep space with

so many colors, from pink to purple, steel and indigo, while the bus was rolling

on toward some aurora borealis curtain that was magically swaying in the

distance.

“This is amazing!” I smiled enchanted.

I couldn’t get enough of it. She acknowledged it with a hidden delight.

“You like my sunglasses.”

“Now I know why you’re always wearing these”, I told her.

“You look great with them. Perfect on you”, she said and she came to sit

next to me.

It was a blissful moment. I had that feeling again, that life would be

eternal… that we were invincible like the galaxies around us... and love was

infinite… I felt its energy rising between us like invisible glue, an overwhelming

wave that made the morning light seem brighter than it had ever been. We were

alive… really alive.

River took off her headphones and placed them on my head.

“I want you to listen to something. It’s my favorite song.”

I listened and I liked it a lot. I realized we had similar tastes and we both

liked to see the depth of everything. I looked at her. She was smiling, watching

me observantly, but somehow more than content… I wondered if she was just as

happy as I felt.

“You gave me your sunglasses… you gave me your headphones… what’s

next?”

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” she protested playfully. “I only borrowed them

to you.”

“Yeah, but they’re mine now. I can see what you see and I can hear what

you’re listening to… you can’t take that away.”

“That’s right...”

I glanced ahead, at the magical horizon with stars and colors and aurora

borealis.

“So tell me… did I wake up or not? Am I ten years older or not?”

“Why does it matter? It might be true both ways… but you don’t have to

worry about it now. You should stop trying to make sense of it.”

“You’re right… I just wanted to understand. So where are we going now?”

“Don’t you know?”

“I know we’re on the road…”

“That’s the main idea.”

I decided to leave it at that. Being with her was enough. I was happy I

hadn’t lost her. Anything else was irrelevant.

We started to play a game. We gave meanings to each color. The more

meanings one of us could come up with, it made that one a winner.

“It’s your turn to pick a color.” I told her.

“White.”

“Wings, angels, innocence.”

She smiled, watching me with that deep stare. Something warmer was

hidden in her eyes, increasing each time she glanced at me. Finally, she spoke.

“Snow, winter, fantastic fairy tales…”

“It’s fifty-fifty. Pick another color.”

“No, you pick one.”

“No, it’s still your turn… we didn’t’ decide the last time.”

“Ah, you’re so stubborn…”

“And so are you.”

“I know. Ok, red.”

“Love, passion, roses…”

“I wanted to say roses!” she protested. “Wait, I know better: fire, intensity,

life…”

“Still a tie. Pick another.”

“Black.’

“Mystery, depth, power.”

“Unknown, night, wild.”

“Black is wild?...”

“Yes, very wild… why not? Black has something absolutely wild and

untamed about it… Want another word for it? Dangerous. Intriguing. Attractive.

I got you with it!”

“No, you didn’t. That’s part of the mysterious. You can’t say what I already

said. That was my line… Pick another color.”

“No, it’s your turn this time. I mean it.”

“Ok, fine… Blue.”

“That’s because you like blue.”

“Yes. Blue is the sky. Blue is infinity.”

“It’s the ocean too. The endless dreams… the morning light and the

moonlight. An eternal sapphire on a ring…”

I looked at her, as she talked. She was looking at me. We seemed to have

spoken at a depth that words could not reach, describe or encounter… something

only the eyes could reveal: the abyss and mystery of the soul.

“What?” she said after a while of staring at each other in silence.

“Did you just mention a ring?”

She didn’t avert her eyes. She kept staring at me. I kept watching her.

“I might have said it. I think I win now. I enumerated more meanings than

you.”

“But did you say the word ring?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Like a skating rink or like a ring – ring?”

“I guess like a ring – ring. I said a sapphire on a ring. But now that you

remind me of the skating rink… how about the blue skates too? That makes four

points for me. I definitely win now!”

She grinned joyfully. I sighed.

“Ok, you win…”

“What shall we play next?”

She was eager to continue. I was glad to see her having a good time, and

that was more than enough. Besides, I couldn’t have been happier myself.

“You seem to be really enjoying it.”

“Yeah, I am. I’m getting good at this!” she said with a satisfied tone.

“That’s only because I let you.”

“You wish! Believe what you want, but I still won.”

“In your view, you won before we even started… Right?”

“Right.”

She laughed. I was watching her, still amazed at the flow of stars, comets

and galaxies running around her like a vision of the night sky… and beyond the

windows of the bus the deep space was expanding endlessly.

“What do we play now?”

“Truth or dare”, I said, watching her seriously.

I wanted to get some answers. I was determined I would. And she would

tell me.

She sensed by my attitude I intended to get somewhere with it. But she

accepted the risk.

“Ok, truth or dare. I go first because I won the last time.”

“Go ahead.”

She pondered for a while. Her deep mysterious eyes had that veil again, that

I knew so well – when she was thinking deeply about something she wouldn’t

reveal.

“Truth… you answer this question: why did you leave me the other day at

the beach? Dare – you give me back my headphones.”

“That’s easy. I like these headphones, I’m keeping them. They’re very blue

anyway… I pick truth: I left you because you weren’t sure you wanted me to

stay and you didn’t want to come along with me.”

“That’s not true. I wanted you to remain and I couldn’t go there with you.

You saw very well why.”

I shrugged.

“Whatever… If you say so... Let’s just pretend it was a misunderstanding. I

really want you to remain too.”

We looked pensively ahead, at the aurora borealis. Then I remembered I

wanted some answers from her.

“My turn now”, I said.

She shifted her position to face me and looked attentively in my eyes.

“Well?”

“Well… truth: do you love me or not? And you must also tell me the truth

about these two parallel worlds – or different timelines. You tell me what it

means and where I am – and how – and why. Either that, or… dare: you find the

audacity to kiss me and be mine forever.”

She smiled.

“You’re not asking for much, are you…”

I smiled too.

“That’s how I want it. Take it or leave it. Yes or no.”

She was thinking deeply and her eyes were hard to read.

I repeated my request:

“Truth or dare. Pick one already, you’re taking too long.”

She raised her eyes to look at me. I could see she was undecided about it.

She was afraid to choose. At that moment, the bus stopped.

I gave her back the headphones and the sunglasses and we got off.

Somehow, the game was over… for the moment.

We were in the middle of nowhere – and yet we were at the entrance of a

skating rink.

“A skating rink again!” I exclaimed, surprised.

“It’s a nice place…”

“It might be, but it’s also very confusing.”

And I looked at her.

“Don’t forget that you owe me one – the truth or dare choice. You owe me

an answer to it.”

The galaxies and comets were gone, since I had taken off the sunglasses,

but the skating rink was surrounded by mist and it had no ceiling. It was an open

skating rink, unlike the one where we had been before. And it seemed to float on

clouds – like a castle in the sky.

“This is unreal…” I said to myself.

River went ahead to put on her skates. We ignored the group and decided to

have a good time there, since the bus had brought us in that place above the

clouds. I was getting used to things being strangely unpredictable. While I was

adjusting my skates, I saw River go round the arena, making smooth tracks on

the bright ice reflecting the morning sunlight, as her blue jacket was shining

with steel buttons. She was wearing blue leggings too and she had tied her hair

up with a blue pin. As she was going round and round, in that skating rink above

the clouds, I had the feeling I was watching a precious jewel display its

greatness in a simple yet irreplaceable beauty and value. She even seemed to

have invisible wings, as if she was flying on ice, elegantly and innocently

unaware of her own brightness and uniqueness. I remembered her words, an

eternal sapphire on a ring and an idea suddenly came to my mind: a realization

of something more meaningful than I had thought of before. She was my

sapphire and the ring was the ice skating rink of life… I felt again that

frightening fear of ever losing her. I was afraid to take my eyes off her. I needed

her to be with me forever… even if she was just an angel skating above the

clouds… I realized I was daydreaming when she stopped in front of me,

breathing faster from the joy of the ride.

“Aren’t you coming?”

I looked at her, unable to wake up from that vision.

“Listen”, she continued, “you must come along… you can’t just sit here by

yourself. Come with me. Please. Come in the arena.”

I didn’t react to what she was saying. I was worried everything would

disappear in a flash, any second. It was too ethereal, too fragile – too surreal to

last for long.

“I’ll explain something to you”, she went on, while I kept staring in her

eyes helplessly. “I need you to remember that you’re a trainer. I need you to be

that for me. I want you to teach me how to skate very well… That’s what I came

here for. I gave you back your teenage dreams, wishes and memories because

it’s what you wanted and what you were missing. But now I need you to do this

for me, and it’s very important. When we get on the ice, I’ll see you as my

trainer and you’ll guide me to become better at skating. Do you agree with it?

Do we have a deal?”

I stared at her, blankly.

“Am I just a trainer to you?”

“No, you didn’t understand. You asked for the truth, here is the truth: you

can be sure I love you and I’m sorry if I ever gave you reasons to doubt that. I

didn’t want to give off that impression. I’m here if you need me, but in return I

need something else from you: to teach me how to skate the best way that I am

capable of. If you’re my trainer, you’ll mean so much more to me. I need you to

be that. Are you ready for it? Are you coming now?”

I wished I could believe her that she loved me. I thought about the ten years

gone by for nothing – at least how I considered them, in the absence of love. If

what she was saying was true, it meant I was supposed to become a trainer only

to help her with skating. My mission had been just that: and she was able to give

me something back in exchange for the lost time. At least I had some reason for

it. I could consider everything a bonus. My time had actually been extended by

the presence of interlaced realities. It might make things right, I thought. Maybe

I had hit my head that day and River was a compensation for it. Maybe ten years

had passed by indeed and I had gained something else in the meantime. If she

said she loved me, that might just be enough, I thought.

However, I hesitated before I could believe it completely. The experience

of jumping from one timeline to another, from one world to another wasn’t very

clarifying about the truth of the entire situation.

“So am I alive right now or am I in a coma and dreaming about this? Did

ten years pass by or didn’t they? Are we here or am I there?’

She sighed.

“There you go again… Look at us: we are very much alive right now. If

ten years passed by or not, it doesn’t matter anymore at this very moment. If

you’re still on the breathing machine or not… it doesn’t matter either way… So

just come in the rink and let’s skate. Let’s get this over with. Okay?”

I could see in the distance an unclear contour of a breathing machine,

moving steadily, yet fading into the sky, a dissipating steam like an illusion.

“And what happens after I teach you how to skate better? What then? Are

you going to leave afterwards? Am I going to just stop breathing and die?”

“I don’t know. It’s too soon to know what will be later on.”

I looked at her, wondering what she was – why she had been sent to me…

because it seemed that way. She wasn’t a simple girl and it wasn’t just a dream.

There was something more to it.

“Are you the angel of life or the angel of death?”

She didn’t appear surprised by the question.

“It’s not something I get to decide about”, she answered, looking away.

At that moment, a flight of birds took off and went up to the clear blue sky,

white pigeons fluttering their soft feathers in a graceful dance with the heights…

We watched them rise freely and get lost into the infinity of the eternal blue

above the skating rink. I wondered if we were like that: white pigeons waiting to

take off and fly away one day…

I watched River attentively. She was waiting peacefully, with a serene

attitude of accepting the moment as it was… accepting me as I was… and

accepting life as it would come.

I decided to let go of everything else that was on my mind.

I was there and she was there – and the skating rink was there just for us.

Even if it was just an illusion. It was my illusion. And I had a right to it.

“Okay”, I said. “Let’s do this.”

And we started skating together.

*

You’ll never know if this story has a happy ending or not… because I don’t

know it myself right now, so the ending will not be revealed. It doesn’t even

matter anyway…

One thing is certain: we don’t know what this life is and how long it lasts.

We don’t know if it’s an illusion or a dream. Nobody knows it for sure, or why

we are in the skating rink. We don’t even know the outcome of everything that

happens to us. I don’t know the answers either, so I won’t tell you. I’m telling

you something else instead.

I only know that while we are here, we’d better be skating.

If you need some advice about it, here it is:

First, it’s very important to have courage. Don’t be afraid of doing

anything brave. Go ahead and make a step in the skating rink. Advance, take

initiative for whatever it is you want to achieve. If you don’t have courage to

initiate action, you don’t have anything.

Second, you must really be focused on what you want to do. You must be

persistent and determined. You must decide and select your wish, then stick to it.

Be focused until you see it come true.

Third: believe. You need to let go sometimes and just believe in something.

Believe in the good of the outcome. Believe it is possible. Believe in your own

future.

And last but not least: keep moving. It’s how life goes on.