BICYCLE Copywrite, P. Audcent 2014
Have you ever read those 'Oh I wish' type stories when you were young? Well here's one for the wrong two wheeler type!
One day Jonathan was cycling to work, it was in the city and he found it quicker than waiting for a bus, besides which he could come and go as he pleased plus the fact that the city elders had created special cycle ways. So Jonathan with his smart helmet on his head and his yellow plastic coat was as safe as houses, biking along the narrow strips of tarmac set aside for cyclists like himself.
But alas these narrow strips were also used by motorcycles illegaly, they were especially used by these roaring monsters at traffic lights, enabling the motor cycle to roar ahead in advance of normal road users when the lights changed to green.
Jonathan had reached the second light before his work place and just as he applied his brakes, a 500cc motor bike brushed past him and claimed the front place before the traffic light.
“Oh I wish he did not do that.” said Jonathan loudly, but the motor bike rider hadn't a helmet on and he heard him, so before he knew it a great mound of a bearded fellow looked over him.
“ Was that you who said that about me you little Cretan?”
“This is a cycle way for bicycles not motor cycles.” Jonathan replied, not at all put out by the big bully standing next to him, who incidently was just about to grab him and pull him off his cycle.
Just then the lights changed so the oaf rushed back to his motor bike and clambered aboard only to turn round and shaking his fist before stamping on his start lever. Well it started but it didn't moved so he slipped it into gear and still it vibrated to be sure, but move it did not. Jonathan peddled past the oaf and carried on, once over the intersection he stopped and looked back only to see the motorcycle was being swallowed up by the roadway, which by the way had reached the cylinder block and was encroaching even further.
When he arrived at work he told someone what he had seen but they made no answer just pointed to the morning newspaper, there was an official notice from the city roads department. It simply said 'In light of the complaints from normal cyclists the department have placed overnight a special formulation of tarmac at city traffic lights, any vehicle over two hundred pounds will sink, so cyclists are asked to check both their own weight and that of their bicycle before coming into our city.' Jonathan grinned to himself but was admonished by his work colleague
“What?” he said, “you drive a car!”
“Yes” said the other, “and I've got two wheels stuck by a kerb a mile away! Now they tell us.”
“A kerb, next door to a cycle way, you as well!”
The telephone rang, Jonathan picked it up, after a while he said 'Yes he's here, how much!” Then turning to his colleague, “its for you, City Hall, there's a fine and recovery charge, get a bicycle next time!”
xxx