Your Becoming Self: The Existential Search by Laurence Robert Cohen - HTML preview

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Your Becoming Self

The Existential Search:

Unconditional Positive Regard, Compassion, Forgiveness, and Acceptance

Meaning, Being, and the Transformative

Table of Contents

 

Please Note

 

Each of the entries is relatively short, 500-750 words or so.  You can read them in order or jump to a specific entry that strikes you as interesting or intriguing.  You may find, however, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  That whole emerges because as you read, we become co-authors.

 

If you have any questions, suggestions, and gentle constructive comments, please feel free to write: info@yourbecomingself.com

 

Laurence Robert Cohen

 

Introductory: There's Nothing Wrong With Us

Child's Play—July 18, 2011

Interlude with a pronoun—July 19, 2011

How we perceive our now and the perception of form—July 20, 2011

Meaning perspectives defined and formed—July 21, 2011

On what we be or what we choose to be—July 22, 2011

Meaning perspectives and their influence—July 23, 2011

Essential smart over essential dumb—July 24, 2001

Discovering smart—July 25, 2011

The cultural and educational meaning perspective of smart and dumb—July 26, 2011

We are the story we tell ourselves—July 27, 2011

We are the story we tell ourselves continued—July 28, 2011

Retelling our story in new terms—July 29, 2011

Self-awareness as process—July 30, 2011

Interview class and the self—July 31, 2011

The importance and avoidance of self-awareness—August 1, 2011

The genesis of self—August 2, 2011

Where the self begins and a meditation—August 4, 2011

Early forces and the becoming self—August 5, 2011

Smart Love and the development of the becoming self—August 6, 2011

Middle school and inner happiness or not—August 7, 2011

Interactions with the world, caregivers and the becoming self—August 9, 2011

Parents and/or caregivers and what we learn from them—August 10, 2011

Distorted consequence as meaning perspectives—August 11, 2011

The nature and mechanism of teaching and learning meaning perspectives—August 12, 2011

What makes for punishment—August 13, 2011

Punishment as a means to a higher purpose—August 14, 2011

The dominator model and discipline—August 15, 2011

The myth of the Fall and Eve as hero—August 16, 2011

The Garden myth and its renewal in us all—August 17, 2011

When "No" becomes an affirmation of self—August 18, 2011

Punishment and teaching right from wrong—August 20, 2011

On the nature of behaving—August 21, 2011

Responses to fear and rejection—August 22, 2011

Self-blame and doubt as a response to fear and rejection—August 24, 2011

The meaning perspective influence of internalized fear—August 25, 2011

Lying as a response to fear and rejection—August 27, 2011

Blaming others as a response to fear and rejection—August 28, 2011

More unwanted consequences of punishment and fear—August 29, 2011

The arbitrary nature of adult response and the confusion it brings—August 31, 2011

On the nature of rebellion—September 3, 2011

Variations on rebellion as a response to fear and rejection—September 4, 2011

Variations on rebellion as a response to fear and rejection—Getting caught—September 5, 2011

Variations on rebellion as a response to fear and rejection—Classrooms and testing—September 6, 2011

Rebellion as a loss of freedom—September 7, 2011

What an interview looks like and feels like—September 9, 2011

Discipline and the idea of a lost child—September 10, 2011

The question of our locus of control—September 11, 2011

Reflecting on awareness and the instrumental—September 12, 2011

Fear of the self and the truth about fear—September 13, 2011

The higher purpose as meaning perspective and judgment—September 15, 2011

The dissonance of the higher purpose and our love and care—September 16, 2011

The nature and quality of blame—September 17, 2011

Beyond blame and living out weaknesses—September 18, 2011

Transformative learning and our search—September 19, 2011

The unconditional in its many forms—September 20, 2011

The problem of the "shoulds''—September 21, 2011

Alienation, identity, and ego—September 23, 2011

Openness, the unconditional, and the search—September 24, 2011

Friendship, conditional regard, and conformity—September 26, 2011

Friendship, conditional regard, and conformity—September 27, 2011

School and the demeaning power of negative regard—September 28, 2011

Condemned to being slow and the denied self—September 29, 2011

Dominator form of education and what it teaches—September 30, 2011

What extrinsic learning costs—October 1, 2011

Competition, cheating, and their human costs—October 2, 2011

How our identity and ego work in our whole being—October 3, 2011

How our identity and ego work in our whole being—October 4, 2011

On the difference between a life of control or one of balance—October 5, 2011

On how meaning perspectives form and can limit our lives—October 6, 2011

The unity of our whole being—October 7, 2011

Continued discussion of control and balance—October 8, 2011

The metacognitive and fear of the unknown—October 9, 2011

The "Yes" in spite of diagnoses—October 10, 2011

Issues and identity in recovery—October 11, 2011

We are the story we tell ourselves—October 12, 2011

Liberation and the meaning perspective—October 13, 2011

Clarifying our whole being, facets of that whole being, and unity—October 14, 2011

Our whole being as unified and individuating which the dominator resists—October 15, 2011

On Eden, love, and the ends principle—October 16, 2011

On the usual and prevailing perception of human nature—October 17, 2011

On our perception of human nature and our expectations of the human--October 18, 2011

How identity and ego work in regard to expectations—October 19, 2011

On choosing the unconditional and high expectations--October 20, 2011

The quest of aspiration--October 21, 2011

On the realization of the becoming self—October 22, 2011

On higher purpose meaning perspectives—October 24, 2011

Competition and the dominator model—October 25, 2011

On competition, hierarchy, and the nature of power—October 26, 2011

Competition, scarcity, fear, and conformity—October 27, 2011

On having and being and lexical gaps—October 28, 2011

The language of having—October 29, 2011

I/Thou, I/IT, the Other and having—October 30, 2011

The endless need for and useless feeding of having—October 31, 2011

On the love of living beings and the love of dead things—November 1, 2011

On the interaction of giving—November 2, 2011

Suffering, the defiant human spirit, and tragic optimism—November 3, 2011

On the natural impulse toward unconditional positive regard—November 4, 2011

In the hall of meaning and Liberation—why not?—November 5, 2011

On escaping from old forms, the limits of meaning perspectives—November 6, 2011

The tension between our perceptions and others' meaning perspectives—November 7, 2011

Villains and meaning perspectives—November 8, 2011

Rediscovering the definition of self—November 9, 2011

On how meaning perspectives can do us harm—November 10, 2011

On the defiant human spirit and the power of choice—November 11, 2011

Critical moments and transformations that result—November 12, 2011

Liberation from the unfair, unfounded, and untrue comes hard—November 13, 2011

Transformation and liberation as a recognition of and return to the natural—November 14, 2011

On why not the transformative—November 15, 2011

Another inner dualism—November 16, 2011

Inner dialogues that harm—November 17, 2011

Why we can choose and not need to change—November 18, 2011

Saying "Yes" to life in spite of everything—November19, 2011

When we choose "No"—November 20, 2011

Using choice to retell our story—November 21, 2011

On how anger works—and doesn't—November 22, 2011

Anger and critical reflection—November 23, 2011

On choosing our mood wardrobe—November 24, 2011

Powerless, anger, and choosing the transfixitive—November 25, 2011

On compassion, forgiveness, and choosing freedom—November 26, 2011

On wishing good—November 27, 2011

To see others in the I/Thou—November 28, 2011

On Compassionate Communication—November 29, 2011

Customer service and fulfilling essential human needs—December 1, 2011

The joy of saying "Yes" to life—December 2, 2011

Individuation, community, and the becoming self—December 3, 2011

Non-Violent or Compassionate Communication in handout—December 4, 2011

Inner and outer manifestations of Compassionate Communication—December 5, 2011

On inspiring compassion—December 6, 2011

Struggling with the interferences with the compassionate—December 7, 2011

On avoiding inherent demands—December 8, 2011

On escaping the "have tos"—December 9, 2011

On family myths as diagnosis and interpretation—December 10, 2011

On interpretations and diagnoses—December 11, 2011

The burden and harm of labels—December 12, 2011

Fear and the Compassionate Communication—December 13, 2011

What we observe and what we perceive—December 14, 2011

Full expression in action clarifies what we conceive—December 15, 2011

On knowing the thoughts of others—December 16, 2011

Heuristics that help and meaning perspectives that harm—December 17, 2011

The violence and dominator nature of gossip—December 18, 2011

Feelings and observations—December 19, 2011

On seeing, feeling, and responding—December 20, 2011

On knowing why we feel what we feel—December 21, 2011

Our right to express our needs—December 22, 2011

On what the "No" perspective means to action—December 23, 2011

On expressing unspoken needs through manipulation—December 24, 2011

The right to say "No" and the power to say "Yes"—December 25, 2011

Making choices into a do, not a don't—December 27, 2011

My example of a choice into an action—December 28, 2011

When we do the math, we find can gain but not lose—December 29, 2011

On choosing to live—regretfully—December 30, 2011

The nature of time, resolutions, and the story we tell ourselves—December 31, 2011

On the hero's journey as our story—January 2, 2012

On a long day's journey—into life—January 3, 2012

On the dimensionality of knowing and searching—January 4, 2012

The nature and question of identity—January 5, 2012

The exploitation of needs and vulnerability—January 6, 2012

Identity and dependency—January 7, 2012

The media and the becoming self—January 8, 2012

Saving ourselves from rejection—at a cost—January 9, 2012

On the commodification of ourselves—January 11, 2012

On making our human needs into consumerist material needs—January 12, 2012

On how media makes us feel worse and better about ourselves—conditionally—January 13, 2012

When the identity becomes the only life we can live —January 14, 2012

Death is dead—January 15, 2012

The life in transformation and transcendence—January 16, 2012

On living in the affirmation, on living the "Yes" and the "No" that hurts—January 17, 2012

The voices and resiliency within us—January 18, 2012