These primal needs that come with living in the material world can do wonderful things for us and those around us. They also make us vulnerable.[155] The dominator model exploits our vulnerability as it often exploits whatever it can. We someone seeks domination, they do so by working on some weakness perceived by that dominator in others. The most obvious and immediate form of such exploitation comes in a violent coercion which produces fear. We all experience that from childhood on. That in itself can make for a very oppressive and exploitive use of our identity vulnerability, but it has its limits.[156] As we have experienced in many ways, rebellion may erupt among the oppressed. It takes constant vigilance on the part of the dominating oppressor so the oppressed have no opportunity to fight back, to rise against the oppression and the oppressor.
The dominator model can also exploit our identity needs and vulnerability by causing us to voluntarily surrender our autonomy and possible individuation in exchange for gaining that which our identity desires. It constructs a seemingly voluntary exchange in which we give up our autonomy, and we look to the dominator to supply all our identity needs. This happens in such a way as to cause us to believe that we find a kind of liberation in the exchange, in our submission. This illusory relationship serves as an essential structure of conformity.[157]
When any form of military or paramilitary group, from governmental forces to rebel and terrorists forces, recruits others to surrender their autonomy, they offer a very powerful exchange program. In exchange for autonomy, a non-material, insubstantial, and questionable idea at that, that organization offers a full blown identity complete with all the material and substantial elements we feel we need.
When we put on the uniform and obey the rules, we feel regard in this situation but only and absolutely conditionally. We find ourselves recognized, accepted, and valued by the organization and the individuals within it. That provides us with friendship, family, and community. As a primary part of the group we have joined, we find meaning, a cause which represents the greater good and a loyalty to the group that also provides us with a sense of meaning and certainty of personal and group value. This identity attracts and absorbs individuals to such a degree they paradoxically and willingly give up their lives to this group and for this identity.