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Why Do You Want To Change Me?

By Santosh Jha


Copyright 2014 Santosh Jha

Smashwords Edition



Other Smashword Titles By Santosh Jha

Onlyness (Fiction)

Back To Bliss: A Journey To Zero (Fiction)

Autobiography Of A Duffer (Fiction)

Naked Solutions Of Dressed Up Life Woes (Non-fiction)

Habitual Hero: The Art Of Winning (Non-fiction)

Maya And Leela: Utility In Life’s Futility (Non-fiction)

Why We Flop In Love (Non-fiction)

Wisdom Of Wellness: Perpetuity Of Poise Of Purpose (Non-fiction)

Decipher Destiny: Decode God’s Will (Non-fiction)

Youth Sanity In Crazy Culture (Non-fiction)

Redeem & Reinvent The Art Of Lost Wellness (Non-fiction)

India Beyond Stampede Of Stupidities (Non-fiction)

Karta: Life-Inspiring Essays On Cognition, Consciousness & Causality

Enter 2014 A New You (Non-fiction)



License Notes

Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. Thanks for your support.


Table Of Content


At The Very Outset

The Core Question Of Wellness

The New Thinking Necessitates Changes

Understanding The Rainbow Of Consciousness

‘Unlearning’ Is Larger Intelligence

No Truth Is Truth, If Not My Truth

Only Compassion Can Effect Changes

The Somethingness In Nothingness

Do Not Be, You Shall Be

Accept My Gratitude

About The Author

Other Titles By Santosh Jha












I FEEL TRULY HAPPY to tell you that more than a book, it is like friends chatting up, sharing whatever we can together to enhance the wellness space.

It is my humble belief that any person, in whatever state of consciousness and life positioning, is in some special ways, better than a wisdom-book, for the purpose of life & living learning. I must tell you, I have learnt and more importantly, unlearnt, primarily from people. Books somehow are people-matter in text-format. Collective consciousnesses are ideally vast universe to learn the artistry of individual wellness and excellence from.

Change, as we all know, is accepted as the only constant in the transient world. We are however, not going to talk about change in this perspective, as this change is an auto process, much of it being a product of the cyclic evolution in time and space dimensions. We are talking about changes in the personal domain, changes in mindsets, perspectives and attitudes, which we have to consciously bring about for empowering our consciousness to attain life-living wellness and personal excellence. Moreover, we are not confining deliberation of changes only to the above notions. We are taking the idea of change to a domain beyond contemporary discussion.

In this book, we are accepting change not as something tangible and material but intangible and ideational. There are good reasons for doing so. The central issue is why there is a need for this type of intangible changes to happen in our deep consciousness. That is why we have upped the boundaries of our talks about change by stretching it into the modern contemporary notions about core issues of Consciousness, Cognition and Causality in our world. We are talking about changes in holistic, assimilative and integrative perspectives to bring about the objective and singular logic in favor of such changes. Moreover, we are also going to talk about ‘What, Why and How’ of the changes in personal domain. All these talks are aimed at empowering your consciousness to enhance your life-living wellness and augment the potential of your personal excellence. There always is a purpose to an endeavor and change has utility only when it leads to larger wellness and excellence in life.

However, before we dig into these talks, there has to be a humble admittance – Any word, however well meant and well spelt, is a possible suspect of ‘misrepresentation’. There is a simple reason. Do you remember when your flight is about to land, the pilot aborts the landing, jolting your peace, just because something as insignificant as a ‘stray dog’ happens to be on the runway?

You already know, how similar is the fate of human words, which we all accept as the best and worthy carriers of human ‘intentions’. This airplane of human words, carrying good and noble intentions need to make a good, smooth and safe landing on the runway of another human’s mind consciousness, which again is worthy and hugely able.

Still, the good intentioned words sometimes fail to land on the mind of others, as there is some ‘insignificant’, yet potentially fatal obstacle standing midway the runway!

It is believed, “If the hypothesis is right, the idea is accepted as right”. If two people have an assimilative and integrative attitude, one can easily see that root trouble is in subjectivity of the hypotheses. This helps in resolution of conflict of ideas.

Friendship is one positioning, where assimilation and integration about divergent hypotheses has larger accommodative space. A seed is more objectively accommodative in space than a grown up tree. Friendship is seed positioning. That is why, at the very start, I very affectionately request you to be my friend and accept this all as one long conversation between friends. Kindly, accept this not as a book but a ‘confabulation’ between friends. This, I am confident, shall engender smoothness of navigation and fruition of the entire exercise.

It is a heart-felt realization that our very worthy ancestors; who had the intelligence and courage to face the worst, life made them to, so that we inherit a better beautiful world; have already said almost all good things. What I can do is present them in new set of words with novelty of references.

The only justification of me telling them is that all goodness and wellness ideas and words need to be repeated and retold, to add to their all-pervasiveness.

At the age of 47, I can say with innocence that getting old is such a beautiful and satisfying experience. It makes the ‘self’ accept the ‘utility and fruition’ of holistic, assimilative and integrative consciousness. Getting old has probably pushed ‘me’ close to the ‘eligibility’ of perhaps beginning to understand as what essentially is there to be understood!

I chat up with you to share with you whatever is part of my consciousness. All wisdoms say, human is designed to live in state of ‘flux’, a state of instinctive semi consciousness. To jolt oneself out of this, one must challenge itself; something humanity has done since millions of years. What stays with you is what sinks in. Wisdom is what we internalize.

I share with you whatever I have internalized in my life. All my previous 14 ebooks have been humbly intended to be only this affectionate and compassionate sharing with you, what I have internalized.



At The Very Outset

Dare To Prove Yourself Wrong…The Best Thing You Can Do For Yourself…. Why!

All wisdoms say – humans are designed to live in state of ‘oblivion’, a state of instinctive semi consciousness nothingness, a state of blissful inertia, a status quoist comfort zone. To jolt oneself out of this, to eject out of this ‘nothingness’ to full and absolute ‘everythingness’; one must challenge itself, something humanity has done since four million years. This is the doorway to common sense; evolution confirms it. It is better to challenge ourselves, as it feels bad when others point out mistakes in us. Moreover, others may not have the perseverance to keep telling you that you need to change. My humble, affectionate and compassionate attempt is to put in the ideas here for readers to internalize, so that elemental and seed-level changes could be understood and initiated within oneself. Internalizing needs you to drop your narcissism that you ‘know it right’. You may already; however, it is always ideal to stretch the horizon of your righteousness, as this evolution empowers your consciousness and leads to enhanced life-living wellness and personal excellence. We are definitely talking about this here. Dare to prove yourself wrong. If you do not, you are right on your own right. Then, so are others! There has to be a sense, which is common and it comes out of the assimilation of one’s subjective consciousness to objective higher consciousness. Do Let This Sink In, It Shall Stay…!


The Core Question Of Wellness

There is a saying which goes like, “the questions you possess is half your destiny, the answers you accept remains the other half but, both halves of destinies are poorly linked by a narrow strip of pathway or a bridge called ‘innocence of consciousness’ across an ocean of dualism. What is this bridge about and what this dualism stands for? We shall talk about this all. Kindly mark the two notions, ‘innocence of consciousness’ and ‘dualism’ in your memory as we shall deal with these two in details in this book.

There always have been questions, which help us extend our domain of wisdom. Number of questions we accept, more we open ourselves to newer probabilities of realism. We however usually happily restrict ourselves to fewer questions as initially; questions unsettle our comfort and us. It is natural that people with fewer questions shall have wherewithal of lesser answers. We shall talk here about how true knowledge alone can lead us to larger wellness and true knowledge is a cyclic process of accepting more questions and evolving improved answers. Evolution of humanity in millions of years has been a process of this cyclicality. This is absolute utility for us. The imagery of closed door, as used on the cover of the book is a huge symbol of how we restrict and even constrict our knowledge by closing our minds of many questions and ideas, which we feel uncomfortable with. Our knowledge is the base material from which most of our joys, wellness and excellence are created. This knowledge is a product of a magnanimous mind consciousness, which allows and lets even uncomfortable and unfriendly ideas and questions sink in. What sinks in, stays and knowledge is a function of this memory of fruitfully processed experiences, which stays after deep sinking in. Therefore, the first intelligence in all humans is the innocence. We talked above about the importance of the bridge called innocence, which connects two part destinies into one whole. This intelligence of innocence is in being an open door person, allowing this sinking in to happen so that utility and fruition stays.

Answers too have always been there. As we talked earlier, accepting questions is one part of destinies but other part remains as how we accept answers. It is not easy for most people to accept objective, singular answers in holistic, assimilative and integrative way. Their subjective consciousnesses are happy with the inertia of comfort of answers that suit their own state of mind. The simple understandable fact is, we do not and cannot create realisms and truths. In our subjective consciousnesses, we feel, we have ‘our’ own answers and they are right. The objective reality is that answers are always singular as truth happens to be singular, even as we think, we can create different truths and answers to one question. Truth is there since billions of years. We therefore do not and cannot create answers of all questions of humanity. We can and we do however, unravel and discover answers and realisms, which are already there. All idealisms of realisms are only unraveled, as they all are already created there, within and outside our conscious self. Be it the brilliant philosophers or scientists, they all have only discovered realisms, never created them. Gravity was discovered by scientists, not created as, it was and shall remain there much before the question of gravity came to us. True and singular objective answers are there, even when questions are not even born.

The idea to put forward in this book is simple. There are questions and they are important because only when we accept questions, we move to discover the answers, which are already there. This is the singular objective road to knowledge building. However, wisdom or knowledge comes in stages; they are not usually arrived at suddenly. Like answers, questions are also born and evolved in time and space dimensions. Long history of humanity shows us how key life-living questions evolved in stages and their answers too came in stages. That is why we have to constantly move away and beyond our current state of mind consciousness, which has the instinctive inclination for accepting and be happy with comfort of inertia of few questions and subjectively created answers. We talk about this change in our mindsets and perspectives. Opening the door and being prepared to be at the readiness of acceptance of the intelligence of innocence is the primary change in attitude we are talking about in this book.

The question, ‘why do you want to change me’, is the primary energy to break you free of the inertia and move you towards those answers of the crucial questions of humanity, whose answers have now been discovered with great objectivity and singularity, even while they were already there since ages. It seems, we have evolved to redesign the key questions of humanity and accept newer answers, in novel perspectives. This is intended to move you to real questions, which you probably have not yet asked truly and that is why not reached to their very meaningfully useful answers. This is aimed at empowering your consciousness to enhance your life-living wellness and personal excellence. We shall elaborate the idea in course of the book.

As we said, “A man or woman is known by the questions he/she has”. This is one side of the coin though. The choice of questions that a person is endowed with, is truly important but not all. Most people are confronted with same questions of humanity but choose to keep only those with them, which they feel comfortable with. Most people live out their lives with a few questions, not even aware about thousands of them. Instinctively, human choice is invariably the inertia of comfort. This comfort of inertia is often a huge advocacy for status quo and against change. We shall talk about it in details here.

Answers are the other side of the coin and the answer, or the set of answers we accept in totality make us what we are. It is crucial to accept that there are true objective and singular answers of humanity’s questions since ages, as realism was created billions of years before we came. Still, different people have chosen and they keep choosing their own subjective answers, often far away from the true objective and singular answers. One can always ask, “where are the true answers, even if we so happily accept that our questions are right and true?” The trouble is, humans are instinctively arrogant and this intuitively leads most of us to believe that all our questions and their subjective answers are truly right. This arrogance emanates out of humans being on top of the pyramid of creatures and his ability to change nature around him/her. There can be other reasons too, the primary one being our own design, which structures our subjective consciousnesses! We are definitely talking about all these here.

Even when we put up a mental screen to it, the questions never cease to chase us and answers are seldom easy acceptance. This is something, which is part of the human mechanism. Most of us are trigger-happy ignoring and even summarily rebuffing the questions and answers not falling in our comfort zone and wellness boundaries. Here, we are talking about one key question of humanity, which almost everyone asks to self or others in his or her lifetime in modern societal milieu. This question is also one faces from others. The question is:

                                      “Why Do You Want Me To Change?”

As, questions are half the destiny, let us first attempt to understand the dynamics of the mechanism of the question itself. This may put us in good stead while answering it. This is primary wisdom for all. We all must first understand a question in its dualism. We need to see and accept multidimensionality of the question then only we can proceed towards the desirable process of an integrative and assimilative answer.

Let the mechanism be understood first. Let us take one step at a time.

At conception, the sperm and egg meet to form a single cell determining the genetic potential. About 60% of the genes are dedicated to brain development. This is being reiterated here to bring forth the point as to how important brain and mind is for humans as even at a stage where the human form is in single cell, majority of genes are for brain development. There is more.

Three to four weeks after conception, a thin layer of cells forms on the embryo. The cells fold and fuse to form a liquid filled tube. This is the basis of the brain and spinal cord. The mechanism now established beyond doubt by science only broadly hints at the fact that even before embryo stage, the focus of creation is in building the mind which only at much later stage would be faced with all questions and all answers of humanity.

By birth the brain has developed the total 100 billion brain cells, or ‘neurons’, it possesses. However, the brain is a work in progress. Most of the neurons are still immature. The cells need to be activated and the connections between neurons are weak or have not yet been formed. This is just a humble reminder of the fact that consciousness is an evolutionary entity and needs ‘activation’. It does not get ‘on’ by a switch at one moment.

Although genes begin the process of brain development, it is the experiences of the child that now start to take over this process. These experiences trigger the electrical activity necessary to enable the brain to develop connections and grow. The purpose of telling you all this is to juxtapose the facts that brain mechanisms and its functioning in milieus inside and outside us are crucial for life-living wellness and excellence. This mechanism may be said to be leading to the following propositions:

1. Modern science is not still fully in knowledge of all possible aspects of consciousness; still, there seems a lurking possibility that consciousness precedes creation. In other words, it is not necessary that consciousness is created only when the single cell at conception goes on to form a fully developed human child in nine months. It may well start at this single cell level itself! It may just be that as life evolves from a single cell to trillions of cells to build a human child, the consciousness also takes along the same route and evolves not only quantitatively but also qualitatively! Probably, consciousness shifts from objective one at cell level to subjective one after life takes shape. This proposition we shall talk about in detail later, as how it helps us in our question-answer evolution.

2. The key question, which emerges from understanding of the above mechanism is ‘what, how and why’ about consciousness. It precedes all other questions of humanity, as it is the consciousness, which understands questions and accepts answers. That is why we have our focus on mechanism to arrive at consciousness. The scientists now say, even at the single cell level, how the early genes go on in their work to create brain and other parts of human body is hugely dependent on the ‘environment’ which may be both external as well as internal. So, a consciousness is affected by very early ‘environment’ even before embryo is formed and later when child is born, rest of the brain and his or her consciousness depends on the environment.

3. Finally, the larger ‘environment’, after birth, which we may sum up as the contemporary and dominant culture at the particular time and space, majorly decides the final shape of his or her mind. The consciousness, which a questioner has and is at the core of the understanding of the question, is only 2 percent his or her gene. This may be good or bad but 98 percent of his or her consciousness depends on the ambient cultural environment.

Therefore, it is interesting to first see and understand the current level of consciousness of the questioner asking, “why do you want to change me” and then look back at the dominant environment which shaped and colored his or her consciousness. The question may well be objective and singular as quantum consciousness admits the wave/particle dualism. But, the moment it lands on the individual mind, the question becomes subjective and takes multiple and plural positioning as subjective consciousness immediately colors and shapes the purview of the question. This is to be understood…

The questions of humanity are the same but a question, which a particular person shall accept or ask, does not hold single and uniform meaning. The ambient milieus, in which a person lives and has grown up, shades his consciousness and this dominant shade of his or her consciousness also extends this dominant shade to the question. The same happens with the answer one accepts. That is why the humanity has such a diverse culture and personal attitudes within single society and even within a family. This diversity is unique in the living world as no other species other than humans have this quantum of diversity. This realism is our strength as well as a huge limitation for personal growth.

We all know about different colors of consciousness and the personality positioning that it shapes up for different humans of the world. The ancient Oriental wisdom reiterated that individual consciousness is not the same for all people, as different people are born with and evolved into different shades of consciousness. Science now says that there are seven shades or memes of consciousness and they can be ascribed different colors like red, blue, green, yellow, etc. Therefore, the above question as “Why Do You Want Me To Change”, or even other questions of life and living takes multiple probabilistic meanings and colors, depending upon the personality positioning as per his or her color of consciousness, which itself is the product of his or her larger ambient and dominating cultural and physical environment.

So, the above question can take following different meanings and tones:

1. Why on earth is there a need for me to change, I am doing perfectly fine!

2. Who the hell are you to ask me to change?

3. Why should I change and even if I have to, why should I listen to you.

4. Oh! do you think you are God! Even God cannot ask me that!

5. Why should I change if I am not convinced there is something wrong about it.

6. Okay, I can change if you first logically tell me where I am wrong.

7. I am open to change but only for someone who first accepts me as I am.