The Confident Heart. From Fear to LOVE by Nils Klippstein - HTML preview
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Afterword: Fears of Freedom
When I presented the vision of stable relationship networks as an alternative to traditional monogamy in a social media group, I was met with an unexpected backlash of anger and ridicule. Many responses were along the lines of, "It's just an excuse to fuck around." But for me, it's not primarily about sex; it's more about being close to someone. Others said, "You'll be crying in a therapist's office soon," although I believe that a stable network of relationships provides all the care and support I need, making me less dependent and much safer overall.
The responses came from inner fortresses. The ego defends not only the individual, but also the collective story it has built with the cosy cage of societal norms. This cage is familiar. Its bars are made of 'how things have always been', and its lock is the fear of the unknown. When someone not only escapes from the cage but has the audacity to suggest that the door was open all along, it creates severe cognitive dissonance for those who remain.
Their insistence that the cage is better is a desperate mantra designed to justify their repressed longing to fly. Their anger comes from the terrifying realisation that their imprisonment might be a choice. Most will defend their cage because its boundaries feel like the edges of reality itself. To question the cage is to question their entire world.
So, what do you do when you encounter these walls in your own life after working on your ego, shadow sides and fears, and opening your heart more than you ever thought possible?
- Those who live in a fortress cannot be convinced by the beauty of open countryside. Do not waste your energy arguing at length with someone whose anger is based on unprocessed fears.
- Become a quiet invitation. Your greatest power is your embodied peace. Live your truth with so much joy and integrity that it awakens curiosity in those around you. Your stability is your most compelling argument.
- Understand the backlashes as positive signs. When you encounter fierce resistance, labeling and mistrust, see it as confirmation that you are on the right path. You are addressing a core wound, and the intensity of the reaction shows how much healing is possible.
- Find your flock. Your job isn't to convert the whole cage. Rather, it is to find the other birds who are already listening for the song of the open sky and who share your restless longing. Build a network of supportive friendships with them.
The path of the confident heart is a pioneering one. It requires a lot of courage to face misunderstandings, gossip and standing alone before finding your loving tribe. Some will judge, blame and exclude you in order to defend the mental and emotional comfort zones of their inner protector. Remind yourself that even a cosy cage will always be a cage. Going further into your heart is like flying into the open sky, embracing all its freedom and uncertainties. This is where fearless peace, unconditional LOVE and true openness live. Stay on track and keep flying!
Much LOVE,
