I picked a card today. It says, ‘Focus on what you really want.’
1.
Healing for my mom and me.
2.
Be part of those who make a difference in the world.
3.
Write screenplays, books, that will not only inspire or make people think, but also make them laugh.
4.
Be happy.
5.
For my son to follow his destiny to the best of his being.
6.
No more financial worries.
7.
A beautiful dwelling (which I have, but need to upgrade).
8.
A loving relationship that will be inspiring, uplifting and that will last till I die. I want him to be my best friend, not just my lover.
9.
To paint for myself, for others.
Nov. 24, 2000 (NSA Journal after adjustment) Today I felt…He called me his little whore, when I asked why he was hurting me so. He said I was a bad girl and deserved to be punished. Once, in the box, I hit my head against the side, over and over again, until I fainted. I wanted to stop the pain. But when I came to, it was dark and I was alone. I was cold, so cold I could not stop shivering. I think after a while I fell asleep or fainted again.
Dec. 3, 2000 (Dream)