This is the first part in a series of three books about Personal coaching.
Part 1, “Personal Coaching” is about what Personal Coaching is and offers a surview of the most popular models for Personal Coaching (or “Life Coaching”) and Self Coaching.
Part 2, “Techniques for Personal Coaching and Self Coaching” introduces you to the most powerful coaching techniques in use and describes the most successful questions and strategies for coaching.
Part 3, “Essential Knowledge for Personal Coaches”, is a practical standard reference work highlighting the knowledge and skills that are indispensable for anybody who is considering life coaching as a career or as a serious self coaching process,
Dean Amory's Complete Life Coaching and Personal Coaching Course is your best guide for coaching your coachees and yourself towards maximizing your life potential and achieving a happier and more fulfilled life.
Personal Coaching is an invaluable training manual for anybody who takes life coaching seriously.
1/ LIFE COACHING: WHAT IS
AND HOW IT WORKS.
Life Coaching or Personal Coaching always starts with the “Here and Now” and looks forward. It focuses on the dreams and aspirations of the coachee - what their goals are, what they want
- and then assists them to make things happen.
Personal coaching is not about healing wounds from the past (counselling), nor about transferring knowledge (teaching, instructing), nor about assisting people to find their way and become successful in a new study- or work related environment (tutoring). It is very similar to mentoring, but also different, because it is more structured and formal and aims to determine and achieve specific goals within a set period.
A personal coach will however make interventions across the borders listed above. For instance: besides from focusing on changes in attitude, convictions, performance and behaviour in order to achieve future oriented goals, the coach may also focus on such areas as developing personal skills, raising self awareness, stimulating critical thinking, coping with change or enhancing communication.
Like personal coaching itself, this manual crosses borders and also borrows from models and techniques used for counselling and mentoring that contribute to the quality of the personal coaching process without requiring a psychological approach, making it the perfect guide to develop your own power coaching model.
The process of life coaching involves three key phases: Phase One: Assessment and Intake
During the initial phase, coach and coachee get to know each other. The coach shares information about the structure of the coaching process and finds out what coachee is expecting from him. He will also want to know about the coachee’s present situation, both in terms of the difficulties that coachee is facing and of the resources available,
Phase Two: Problem Analysis and Strategy Planning What kept coachee from reaching his goal? The difficulties experienced by coachee and the options available to him will be further analysed. Then, an action plan will be developed. The coach will monitor the coachee and further help him through constructive feedback.
Phase Three: Evaluation, Adaption, Further Support During this final phase of the life coaching sessions, progress will be evaluated and either the coaching procedure will be ended, or a shedule for follow up sessions will be agreed upon.
The number of life coaching sessions that are necessary to complete the coaching cycle is limited. Typically, no more than five to seven sessions of life coaching are necessary. However on-going intermittent support can be beneficial.
Source: http://www.mylifegym.co.uk/life-coaching 14
1.1 BENEFITS OF PERSONAL- OR
Coaching services are offered under a wide variety of names:
Life coaching, ADHD coaching, Business coaching, Career coaching, Executive coaching, Expat and Global Executive coaching, Financial coaching,
Personal coaching, Health
coaching, Sports coaching, Dating coaching, Conflict coaching, Victimization coaching, Christian coaching, Performance coaching, Skills coaching, ….
1.1.1 WHEN IS PERSONAL COACHING USEFUL?
Generally speaking, life coaching is recommended when there is a need for assistance at
Improving self knowledge and self awareness
Building self esteem, confidence and assertiveness 3.
Reflection (Offering a sound-board)
Structuring tasks and responsibilities
Improving abilities for planning and goal-setting 6.
Acquiring new skills or improving existing skills 7.
Learning to solve (own) problems
Improving interpersonal skills
10. Learning how to identify and act on personal needs 11. Becoming more effective, performing and assertive 12. Gaining new perspectives
13. Developing greater adaptability to change
14. Reducing stress levels
15. Sorting out personal issues that are blocking you 16. Having a positive impact on your environment 15
Personal coaching is for people who want to make a significant change in their life.
The coach will ask questions and challenge the coachees in order to stimulate them to
1. Identify, set and accomplish goals
2. Look at new perspectives
3. Become more effective / Increase performance 4. Find the focus and drive to progress in life / Stay motivated 5. Self improvement / Balance and boost personal growth 6. Self empowerment / Increase confidence
7. Deal with resistance, obstacles and conflicts Personal Coaching requires motivation on behalf of the coachee
Hersey and Blanchard developed a grid to help determine the appropriate style to stimulate personal growth. They see
“coaching” as most appropriate style when competence is high and motivation low. When competence is low, but motivation high, they suggest a different style defined as “convincing and encouraging”
In fact, life coaching combines aspects of both qualifications and can be used both to motivate coachee to stop procrastinating and do the things he knows he should do, as to advise and provide guidance to coachees that have the motivation to bring about change in their lifes, but are not sure about the way how to handle the situation.
In both cases however, there must be a strong motivation towards change itself . If you feel the coachee does not want to change at all, but has been forced to come and see you, chances of success will be very remote.
1.1.2 JUST HOW BENEFICIAL CAN COACHING BE?
In a study, the effect of coaching in the context of professional learning communities was measured. The outcomes were astonishing:
Instructional coaching is most effective when it occurs within a successful professional learning community. At the heart of this community is a belief in the need for continuous improvement, where a constant and collective search for improving classroom instruction is conducted.
The process of professional learning includes:
Research, presentation and explanation of the theory behind the practice
Demonstration and modeling of instructional strategies
Opportunities for initial guided practice
Prompt feedback from guided practice
Sustained coaching for institutionalization of instructional practice
The chart below depicts the outcomes of different elements of professional development: theory, demonstration, practice and coaching.
Based on research, an estimated 95% of teachers who receive ongoing support and guidance through coaching are more likely to learn and implement new practices in the classroom.
Researchers also estimate that teachers generally need to utilize a new instructional strategy approximately 25 times before it is transferred into their daily teaching routine.
Professional Development Outcomes
Estimated % of
Estimated % of
proficiency in the implementing
practices in the
explains content -
what it is, why it
is important, and
how to teach it)
the return to the
Source: Showers, Joyce & Bennett, 1987 –
Published by West Virgina Department of Education 19
1.2 THE COACHING STYLE
In Personal Coaching, the point of gravity is always the coachee.
Personal Coaching is mainly facilitating:
The coach does not offer advice, ready-made answers or solutions, but asks questions aimed at encouraging the coachees to think for themselves and find their own answers, based on their own values, preferences and unique perspective.
During the process, the coach offers a supportive framework based on structure, assistance and feedback, aimed at positively changing the coachee’s behavior, attitudes and convictions.
Coaching is not complete until the coachee has successfully developed and implemented at least one concrete action plan.
Exceptionally, some form of advice may be necessary. The coach will pose the advice as a question, e.g.: “how do you think
… would work for you?”
Other recommended styles are:
If competence and motivation are low: prescribe, instruct (Tell people what to do.)
If competence and motivation are high: Delegate When talking about personal coaching, what is most important is the level of motivation of the coachee with respect to immanent change in their lives: either coachees want to make a change themselves, or they desire to prepare themselves in order to be able to cope with what lies ahead. Whether their competence level is low or high is irrelevant, as long as they are truly motivated to make a change in their lives.
1.3 PERSONAL COACHING MAXIMS
Listen better, talk less.
Understand what motivates coachee.
More is in you: everybody is capable of achieving more.
Let the past be past: it is no indication of the future.
But learn from it.
How we see ourselves is what matters most: People’s believes of what is possible for themselves are their only limits.
A coach must be genuine, empathic and always provide full support
Coaches do not provide the answers
Coaching does not include criticizing people
All coaching is always completely confidential 10. Some needs cannot be met by coaching
11. Coaching is about identifying goals and finding ways to achieve them
12. Coaching always implies change
1.4 CORE COACHING SKILLS
1.4.1 THE 20% THAT GET’S THE 80% OF RESULTS
Carter McNamara of Authenticity Consulting, LLC
Many Coaching Models Have Certain Approaches in Common About 15 years ago, I had the privilege of studying a variety of coaching models. When people asked me which model was best, I always answered that it was the last model I had studied.
Each model seemed tremendously powerful — because each had certain practices in common. I came to realize that those common practices in coaching seemed to make the biggest difference for those being coached. I came to call them “core” coaching skills. Since then I’ve incorporated them into a process I call “peer coaching groups.”
I had realized that the experience of having someone –
1. Ask me what is important to me now, what do I want to accomplish.
2. Ask me questions about how I came to identify that priority.
3. Ask me what success would look like if I addressed my priority.
4. Ask me about my nature, how I like to work on priorities in my life.
5. Ask me what relevant and realistic actions I might take to address my current priority.
6. Ask me what I am learning as I am working to address the priority.
– was extremely powerful.
All of the models seemed to include this or a very similar sequence of questioning.
Core Coaching Skills Are Accessible to All
The process is so clear and straightforward to apply that almost anyone can be of tremendous help to another person, to members in a group — or to him/herself by posing those, or similar, questions. That’s one of the features that makes the coaching process so very powerful. I’ve watched 100s — if not 1,000s — of people around the world use core coaching skills to help others transform themselves and their work.
Many people might strongly criticize me for suggesting that coaching is a simple process. I’m not suggesting that. I’m suggesting there’s a central set of techniques that is very powerful.
Certainly, these can be embellished in many ways — and an explosion of coaching schools have done that.
I’ve watched as the field has become a profession for many, including codes of ethics and credentialing. I look back very fondly on those early years where so many people watched this wondrous new field become so popular to so many — and for good reason.
What do you think?
Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD – Authenticity Consulting, LLC –
1.4.2 GROUNDRULES FOR PERSONAL COACHING
1. Coach and coachee have to get along: successful coaching is impossible if the parties involved do no get on with each other.
2. Coaching requires a safe environment, which is necessary for a collaboration based on trust and confidentiality.
3. Contrary to Mentoring, coaching assumes a formal and professional relationship. This implies regular contacts based on well structured sessions scheduled within an agreed coaching itinerary.
4. Clear Scope: Goals and methodology have to be agreed upon at the start of the coaching relationship. Progress has to be closely monitored and communicated during regular feedback-moments.
5. Coaching aims to lead to an increase of insight, motivation and efficiency on the part of the coachee and to improve their self-esteem through the implication of a supportive but professional relationship in which a facilitating style is used to stimulate the coachee to find their own answers and solutions to the challenges faced.
1.4.3 CORE COACHING COMPETENCIES
1. Design the alliance: Build a strong foundation
By meeting ethical guidelines and professional standards
By establishing a professional coaching agreement
Through a correct assessment and intake
2. Communicate effectively
Practice active and empathic listening
Be authentic (congruent), unconditionally acceptive and supportive
Be non judgmental; do not enter in discussion
Establish rapport, respect and trust with coachee
Use powerful questioning and purposeful inquiry 3. Facilitate learning
Create awareness – challenge with compassion – celebrate not knowing
Do not offer your solutions – help coachee find his
Co-create possibilities and actions, stimulate experiments
Assist in planning and goal setting
Affirm, acknowledge, celebrate
4. Manage progress and accountability: make specific requests:
Start with “I have a request…”, or “May I invite you to…?” 3 possible answers:
3. Here’s what I’ll do instead
What are you going to do exactly?
Where, with whom, conditions, …?
How will you know? How will I know?
1.4.4 THE SEVEN C’S OF COACHING I
Source: Dr. Greg Dale, an AAASP certified sport psychology consultant at Duke University
Character – Competent – Committed - Caring Confidence Builder – Communicator - Consistent 27
1.4.5 THE SEVEN C’S OF COACHING II
Alternative 7 C’s of Coaching
Source: 7 C’s of Coaching – The Practical Guide to Collaborative Coaching for Optimum Results by Mike Cope. ISBN 0273681109
The Seven C’s described are:
Coachee - Understand the person and the problem
Clarity - Unearth the symptoms and roots of the issue
Create - Generate a solution
Change - Deliver the solution
Confirm - Make sure it works
Continue - Ensure it will be suitable
Close - Celebrate and say goodbye
1.4.6 CORE COACHING SKILLS ACCORDING TO
While coaching, pay attention to:
1. Introducing yourself properly.
2. Giving a clear explanation of what life coaching is.
3. Developing a trusting relationship with your coachee.
4. The techniques:
open questions / paraphrasing
(appropriate use of) self-disclosure.
5. Structure and process of the discussion (phase-awareness).
6. Responding to cues and verbal signals.
7. Matching your language to that of your coachee.
8. The content of the discussion.
9. Managing silences.
10. Enabling the coachee to tell his story (without undue interruptions)
11. Refraining from giving advice or solutions.
12. Effectiveness and usefulness of the session.
13. Evaluating the session.
14. Coming to an agreement regarding progress.
You will know you have mastered the skills when you: 1. can describe each skill,
2. can distinguish between the different skills, 3. know when to apply a certain skill or not,
4. can recognise and identify a particular skill, 29
5. are able to really listen to your coachee,
6. pick up cues from your coachee,
7. are able to empathize with the coachee,
8. are able to integrate various skills,
9. Identify yourself as coach (with a reasonable amount of confidence).
Academy for Counselling and Coaching (ACC)
Counselling and Coaching Training - Worldwide - English Version
www.counselling.nl - www.coachacademie.nl
Some core characteritics of good coaches:
Responsiveness : Responsiveness shows that the coach is genuinely interested in the coachee, that he is a good listener, has good communication skills, accommodates individual differences, maintains relaxed manner, and is receptive to questions.
Enthusiasm : A good coach is energetic, optimistic, prepared, willing to commit time.
Humor : They should be able to incorporate humor in personal and real-life examples during training.
Sincerity/honesty : They take every question seriously and doesn't pretend to know the answer if they don’t.
Flexibility : They are able to eliminate, adjust, or alter material during training according to trainees' needs and/or time constraints.
Tolerance : The y have the capacity to easily accommodate different personalities and learning styles; they accept constructive criticism and do not take it personally.
1.4.7. ARE YOU READY FOR COACHING?
126.96.36.199 READINESS QUESTIONS FOR COACHEES
Respond “yes” or “no” to the following questions by putting a checkmark in the appropriate box. A person who is more open and ready for coaching will have at least five “yes” responses.
Do you believe you can be more effective and happy ?
Are you willing to consider new perspectives and try new approaches?
Do you make learning and development a priority?
Do you have some goals that keep getting postponed?
Has someone provided just the right help to you at just the right time?
Are you looking for ways to enhance your life?
Are you willing to accept challenges that will move you toward your goals?
Do you want more accountability for achieving results?
Do you have a healthy attitude about receiving both positive and constructive feedback?
Do you want to work with a coach?
Source: Adapted version - Full Experience Coaching.
Sophie Oberstein – Ten steps to successful coaching
© 2009 the American Society for Training & Development 188.8.131.52 SCALING OF CHANGE SKILLS OF COACHES