Expectations
There are men
everywhere
who long for women
of beauty, acquiescence
and very high sexuality.
Somehow
I know it.
There may be men
somewhere
who long for women
of strength, gentleness,
and very high intellectuality,
but somehow
I doubt it.
Roles
Every society defines, rightly or wrongly, its expectations of how men and women should behave toward each other. Each woman and each man’s role is delineated without regard as to whether those individuals are comfortable in the particular roles assigned to them. So it is that every relationship already has expectations built into it even before it begins.
For people to be happy in any honest, loving relationship both parties must value and understand their uniqueness as individuals apart from society’s expectations and be willing to work to make their partnership their very own so that each person in the relationship can ultimately feel a sense of fulfillment and completeness.
A woman’s heart must be of such a size and no larger,
else it must be pressed small, like Chinese feet;
her happiness is to be made as cakes are, by a fixed recipe.
George Eliot
Man is not the enemy here, but the fellow victim.
Betty Friedan
=============================