Wicked Messenger by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
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Chapter 13
Lurching police cars and ambulances stuttered through the stunned crowd, most of which lay on the grass, either injured in the attempted mass exit or hoping to keep out of the line of fire. Drivers yelled brusque instructions to get out of the way, as they single file, slowly worked their way through the densely populated lawn to the makeshift platform. Six sweating and edgy cops exited their vehicles with revolvers drawn. They were frantically called to by three men on the ground who were sitting on the shooter, Robby Allison, one of the sitters holding the hot gun.
The officers pointed their weapons at the gun holder and one screamed; “Drop it right now!”
The holder looked wide-eyed and said; “I got it from him.”
“Drop it asshole!”
He dropped it and one officer kicked it away, then put it in a plastic bag, saying; “Thanks for contaminating the evidence.”
“What was I supposed to do? Let him keep shooting?”
The cops grabbed Robby and brought him to his feet. One cuffed his hands behind his back as another read him his rights.
The shooter was mad as hell and with spittle drooling from his mouth said; “You don’t have to read me that crap. I did it and
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I’m proud that I did. If these alien loving traitors didn’t stop me I’d have shot them all.” He scanned the audience expecting applause which was not forthcoming. Though many were tempted to register their appreciation, none dared be the first, and as a consequence they furtively glanced at each other waiting for approval and overt Robby stood alone and unheralded.
The Emergency Medical Technicians got the three wounded Elis onto stretchers and into the ambulances. It was with difficulty as the wounded resisted being taken by these strangely attired Earthlings in mouth-covering-masks and clown reminiscent clothes. The thought crossed their minds that they might be being taken somewhere for further mistreatment, but were too weak to put up much of a struggle. Other Elis watched in a state of shock, crouching and peering around, scanning for more possible shooters.
In Esperanza, Arizona, Becky and Grandpa sat in her room, eating potato chips, drinking ice tea and were watching a retro TV station. It was Becky’s favorite program and she smiled at the set as the young female star made her way to Minneapolis to
“make it after all.” The screen went blank and then reappeared with a seemingly harried and out of breath, puzzled looking newsman on the spot in Dallas’ Deely Square, who relayed the bizarre events of the day. “Three people, who claim to be from
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the planet Eli ........... We’re not yet certain where that is
............... were shot and critically wounded. Dallas Police have identified the alleged assailant as Robby Allison, an unemployed area resident, who proudly admitted the shooting, saying that America is for the Americans. Eyewitnesses state that the victims appeared as if they were either light skinned blacks or dark Latinos. There were a number of reports by people who said that they saw another man with a gun and Dallas Police have closed off the area and are doing a house by house search.
Another question is how Allison could have known that the victims were aliens, and if indeed they are. For the moment it is being considered a hate crime. Preacher Alvin Blunt, a prominent black leader based in New York is on his way to Dallas. One of our East Coast affiliates has quoted him as saying; “The racists have invented a new reason to be killing black people. We’re aliens. ********. I suppose the victims will be required to prove that they are not from the planet ........
the planet Eli, or wherever the **** they say we came from. I got some news for these ignorant *******-******** .......”
Becky stopped smiling, turned to her Grandpa and solemnly said; “It’s started.”
Grandpa thought of a very old movie titled “The Beginning of the End,” but kept the thought to himself. He searched for
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words, but none came. He just looked at Becky with his mouth slightly open and imagined her imperiled future.
She said; “I hope they didn’t get Joshua.”
The news got back to Eli TV as quickly as it got to American TV. However, having some knowledge Earthlings do not and having had the assistance of an official Eli government spin, the report was correct, but stated somewhat differently.
A calm and almost bemused, fortyish, male reporter said;
“We have an update regarding the Eli exodus to Earth. All three rockets containing approximately nine thousand Elis have arrived safely.” He paused and smiled at the camera, then continued; “As instructed, the spokespersons announced that we are not of their planet, but come in peace out of necessity ............ as our sun is dying. Contingents have gone to Los Angeles, Fort Lauderdale and Dallas and we have received reports of warm welcomes and curiosity. We have also received unconfirmed reports of a minor incident in Dallas involving three Elis. It is said that they have been shot with a small caliber pistol by a forty year old, unemployed, deranged Mama’s boy. Police have him in custody after having been assisted in his capture by the outraged crowd. The victims have been taken to Lovelace Dallas General Hospital and are said to be in good condition. The three actually refused treatment, but the Earth emergency medical
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technicians insisted for precautionary reasons. The most prominent American Civil Rights leader, the Preacher Alvin Blunt, has flown to Dallas and has made it his business to see that Eli rights are enforced and that the deranged man is prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Here in Sunny Eli, President Zeus Indiffant issued the following message; “While it was an unfortunate incident, we are confident that the victims will soon recover. We are pleased with the Earth authorities’
response and very encouraged by that of Preacher Blunt. Our departure will continue on schedule. We should count our blessings that with a dangerous interplanetary mission involving nine thousand Elis there was only one minor incident. I’d call that success. There will be one minor change. We will go in small and return to full size gradually. I think you can all appreciate how you would feel if thirty million aliens showed up here one day and said that this was their home.”
The typical cynical Eli said or thought; “********.
Something terrible happened. I wonder if they’re dead.”
Prior to the PR announcement Eli’s five greatest powers held a secret meeting; secret to those not paying any attention; which is the political majority. However the masses might have enjoyed seeing their “representatives” in a tizzy. They showed more worry, emotion and boisterous language than they had since the time a national political newcomer, Huey Brief, a rustic
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from the provinces, ran on a platform of wealth re-distribution and term limits for all government offices. He got extremely popular, virtually having sown up the entirety of the provincial vote, and was predicted to win a by a close margin. But, after surviving numerous assassination attempts, he disappeared without a trace while visiting the capitol. Order was restored to the elite faces and demeanors as no other seeker of high office has dared to be so bold.
Zeus was absolutely livid, his face the color of claret, with a popping and pulsating vein dividing his forehead into two unequally proportioned hemispheres. He pointed a shaking finger at Cronos and said; “Your man recommends a peaceful habitation.
Where the **** is the peace?”
Cronos opened his mouth though he had no idea of what would come out. It didn’t matter as Zeus yelled; “I don’t want to hear a ******* thing.”
Marshall Ordnance saw the opportunity for glory and said;
“Taking the humans out would be easy. We surprise them and go in small with one hundred of my men armed with “silver bullets. We blast the military installations and where Earthlings congregate; big cities, office buildings, malls and religious institutions. Within a couple of hours we’ll have eradicated the major weapons and half the population.”
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Cronos said; “How about the small arms?”
Marshall said; “No big ****. Little by little.”
Cronos said; “No big ****! How many Elis will get plugged?”
Zeus said; “Shut up,” intending it to apply to both parties.
Cronos took it personally and retorted; “Then I may as well leave.”
Zeus said; “Feel free,” and Cronos remained in his chair, scratching his eyelid with his middle finger.
Zeus continued and said to grinning Marshall Ordnance; “I don’t know what the hell you’re grinning at. Your best man is worse than Cronos’ ****. He couldn’t even get to the *******
place. I’d hate to think of how many ways your men could screw up the operation you described and how many Elis would wind up dead or maimed.”
Marshall bit his tongue and dryly said; “I think it important to point out the difference between an error of commission and an error of omission. ...............
Zeus said; “A ******* error is a ******* error, idiot. This is too important to risk another.” He pointed at Brigitte and Prometheus and followed with; “And don’t think that you are home scot free, just because you offer no input. If the people judge this project a mishandled failure, you will also be blamed, AND
RIGHTFULLY SO.”
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Seth contentiously countered: “That’s what you say! You should know **** well that it is always the Prime Minister and/or Military Director who get blamed for everything, AND
RIGHTFULLY SO! ” He paused as Brigitte and Prometheus pounded their fists on the table, maniacally nodding in approval. On a roll he continued; “What we have always needed is more information. But, no. Based on the say so of one mentally challenged man and another who can’t find his way out of the driveway .......”
Marshall cut in and said; “When we get enough of my people there we can attack and win. The way I see it ..............”
Zeus interrupted, saying; “Right, then rather than three dead Elis we’ll have twenty million.”
Marshall said; “Fifteen million tops. Even if Earth has comparable weapons, my men have more experience using them.”
Cronos drolled; “If they can manage not to get lost.”
Zeus waved his hand and said; “Marshall, just shut up. The obvious point here is that we have to survive an unexpected storm and keep our exodus intact, at least until we get to Earth and gather further intelligence. With a population of thirty million it is absurd to sit there and say we could lose fifteen million tops. That would change everything. It could even spark a revolution.”
Cronos said; “Here, here.”
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Zeus felt like being arbitrary to everyone and rather than appreciating the support, he said; “No, there, there. On the
******* Earth. We have to put the best face on this incident, buy some time and hope no more happen.”
Marshall said; “Not a ******* chance, Pollyanna.”
Despite Marshall’s objection the result of the meeting was to make only one real change; to remain small and hidden. The other “action” was to inform the news services of the correct verbiage to articulate.
After the official meeting Seth, Brigitte and Prometheus held their own unofficial one; the object- personal damage control. They decided to launch their own media blitz, using the slogan; “WE NEED MORE INFORMATION.” The hackneyed phrase had been denigrated as a method of doing nothing and seeming intelligent and managerial by Management Consultant Howard Hostetler fifty years after the invention of the first Eli computer. He coined the phrase “INFORMATION OVERLOAD” in his popular MBA-program-utilized textbook; “Accounting as a Method of Artful Self Presentation.” However, advocating a need for more information continued to be an unbeatable argument as people saw it as theoretically opposed to advocating stupidity in the vein of “We need less information” rather than its
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reality based equal of “I don’t want to take a risk by being decisive.”
So, the three unobtrusive Ministers took to the prime time airwaves with concerned and sincere faces. Just in case that didn’t fool anyone, Brigitte’s crimson dress commenced near her nipples. The wall behind them lined with Eli flags and a rectangular sign with rotating multi-colored lights which said;
“WE NEED MORE INFORMATION.” The quiet ones introduced themselves, and each recited one sentence fragment from their prepared speech and then circled around again. After “WNMI” the next line was “I love the good people of Eli too much.” “To silently witness the most formidable decision regarding their life and well-being.” “Decided without appropriate investigation, blah, blah, blah.” Brigitte seemed to gush her portion of the phrase which was intended to be taken as double entendre.
After the meeting Cronos thought that he could get an advantage over the others if he could unequivocally determine Joshua’s veracity in an objective way. He knew that when he called Earth he had intended to reach Ares, but got Joshua instead. He decided to experiment.
He had been given two “call buttons,” one when Joshua left and one when Ares did. He pushed the Joshua button and received
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his daily “intelligence” report. He then pushed the Ares button and again Joshua answered. Cronos said; “Sorry, mistake,” and got off the line. This led him to consider the possibility that Joshua had both rockets. He couldn’t imagine why Joshua would want two. A spare? But wouldn’t Joshua realize that he was admitting contact with Ares by answering his rocket? No doubt.
The whole thing made no sense.
He had previously considered talking to the makers of the craft; the Completions, but dismissed the thought because of their freaky nature and because he didn’t want to risk tipping his hand that he knew something was very strange. Everyone considered them unpredictable, but often necessary aberrations who just might do anything. But now everyone was focused on matters more important than one dead Eli astronaut. He decided to “check out” the evacuation ship production as a slap in the face to Marshall and direct the conversation toward transmitters.
The Sunny gate guard recognized Cronos and let him right in. He entered an austere anteroom with short white carpeting and windows out of reach to all but Goliath. Behind a desk another Sunny guard looked up, and then deferentially greeted him. “What can we do for you today?”
Cronos responded; “I’d like to see Oppenheimer.”
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“Which one?”
“I’m most interested in seeing Jonathan.”
The guard inserted a card and a heavy iron door rolled open. Other guards scurried to them. The first guard said;
“Minister Titanby is here to see Jonathan Oppenheimer.”
The interior guards nodded and started to lead Cronos down a dark hallway which reeked of disinfectant. They came to an iron door with bars on the window and let him in. They followed and Cronos waved them off saying; “That won’t be necessary.
Jonathan is an old friend.”
The guards seemed perplexed, one saying; “These people are crazy and can be dangerous.”
Cronos nodded at them and said; “That’s quite all right. I know them.”
The guards backed off and Cronos continued through the
“living area” which had thick padding covering the walls as dense as a mattress. The skylight ceiling provided the room’s only illumination. Windows were too easy a form of escape and glass a source of weaponry. Though the Completions were technically Sunnies, they were as pale as the Darkies. The only light they ever saw was filtered by the skylights which covered their entire compound and blocked out the tanning possibilities of the sun. He made a left at the intersection and heard groans.
He soon saw Jonathan and George lying in a huge bed with two
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daughters of prominent Sunny Elis. The women tried to jump up, but were tightly held as the two Completion men gripped their waists firmly and pressed their heads harder between their legs.
The two women had second thoughts, and their struggle became less than half-hearted. Jonathan looked up briefly and saw Cronos. He said; “Man, you got some kind of timing. ........
Don’t you just love the taste of dark, dark Sunny pussy?” He dove back down and showed his affection with slurping tongue kisses.
Jonathan and George licked their lips as Cronos fumbled for an answer. George mumbled; “See, man. That’s why we get all your women over here. They know we just love their cunts.” He turned to Dahlia, blew a kiss and said; “Love you the most baby.
Mmmmmm.”
Cronos grimaced and said; “Looks and sounds like you need an adjustment in your controller.”
Jonathan’s white face became slack as he sat up. He dropped his eyelids in disdain and replied; “Do that and we might forget how to get your old ass out of here.”
Cronos said; “Look. I don’t really give a shit. You know that. I just came here to find out how the rocket production is going. If you want to do that with my wife’s cunt on your face, I don’t care.”
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George said; “She’s coming tomorrow. You want to reschedule for then?” He stood up, making the tongue-outstretched-lizard tattoo across his chest obvious. He stroked himself and said;
“You guys never understand. You only think about your own orgasm. You know only half of the story. That’s why we gotta figure out everything for you. We complete your Stupid Complications. That’s what we call you, you know.”
Jonathan too was standing and scratching at his recent, chest covering Gila Monster work of art. He added; “Cum-pleet versus he-lie.” He leaned over and kissed Marlene’s foot and mumbled; “Mmm, mmm, mmm.”
Marlene stretched out, fingered her hairy bush, licked her finger and said; “Come on baby. We got more important things to do.”
Jonathan said; “In a minute, baby. Wait for me. This jerk is ruining my concentration.”
Cronos said; “Are you two finished telling me how smart you are?” When he got no quick clever answer, he added; “Thanks for pointing it out. I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.”
George was oddly sensitive about his intelligence and was compelled to sternly say; “You idiots don’t notice anything, even when it’s right in front of your face.” The women found that amusing in its apparent kismet.
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Cronos affected a bored tone and said; “Like my wife’s cunt. Yeah, I know. But, no matter how smart you guys are, you are our slaves and you better be nice to us.”
George facetiously said; “Hey, hey, touchy word, man.”
Jonathan followed up with; “Everyone believes that the smart enslave the stupid. Just like most beliefs, it’s precisely the other way around. ............. Ah, **** all this ****. We want to get back to head first diving. We’re here for our crowns, right? Production’s on schedule, slightly ahead. Okay?”
“Good, good. We’ve received reports of some problem with the transmitters. Calling one ship sometimes results in an answer from another.”
Oppenheimer pouted. “Yeah, that’s going to keep happening.
Don’t forget that we had to do this quickly. Essentially, what is there is a prehistoric CB blasted on super steroids. So, a call goes to the first open line it finds. One size fits all. It shouldn’t be a problem as the trips don’t take long.” He gazed at the dark open legs at his side and in a sing-song fashion added; “It’s just a temporary thing.”
Cronos waved his hand dismissively and said; “No, no, not a problem. Just some unimportant confusion. That’s all.” Though he made a point of not showing it, he was disappointed to know that he could still not come to any conclusions about Joshua. He would have to wait until he got to Earth and personally inspect
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Joshua’s rocket. As he turned to leave he saw Jonathan and George’s faces disappear between the dark, shaggy and rolling hills. He couldn’t help saying; “Remember, you are what you eat.”
Jonathan looked up, winked and said; “Hey, hey, Cronos.
Tell your wife not to shower. I want to taste her at full tangy strength.”
Eli migration continued on schedule and on day three the first five ships full of Darkies arrived, complementing the fifteen populated entirely by Sunnies. They landed in remote areas, remained one inch tall and had a constant battle with hungry birds. Four military men were on each ship, all equipped with “silver bullets.” They rotated guard duty and blasted numerous birds which appeared to the little ones as if they were pterodactyls as well as a few badgers, raccoons and roaming dogs; proportionately dinosaurs. The tiny Elis were soon disenchanted with their promised land and many concluded that it was not only humans that were predatory; it was everything on the stupid hell planet, euphemistically known as Earth.
The military guards did their best, but at times were overwhelmed by swarming swallows. A few Elis got carried off and ripped apart by those just out of the egg.
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