Time to go see the Floating Man. Inside Burnden Ship the Floating Man is holding court. NO one calls him anything else or they die a horrific death. He lost his humanity when he experimented on himself. Now he continually floats and can shoot lightning bolts from his hands and eyes. Strange for strange sake. I’m on my way to talk to him about an urgent matter me quitting the military (it’s my only hope for a normal life).
“Nothing matters in a world of clocks. Fools count the seconds while I never feel the winding of clocks,” said The Floating Man as he shot bursts of electricity out his hands and into the ship’s window.
The electricity bending on the glass and producing a circle of light as he smiled to himself and admired his handywork. Different Kulp-his first in command-stares at the Floating Man and wishes he were him.
Kulp is old military which means he’s been killing for so long he can’t remember anything else. Kulp’s brown skinned or as we call it lucky. Why lucky? The Kine (as they called) have a natural pigment that makes them able to settle worlds the pale skinned can not. They are revered in our culture and rightfully so.
“Yes, Floating Man, outside the moment there is only empty space,” replied Commander Kulp as he rubbed his hands together and watched the beautiful electricity launch up to the ceiling. The Floating Man was drunk, drunk with power that is. He ruled any way he desired. The amazing thing is he could be worse than he is, but he has restraint (Admirable to see for sure).
The walls to the room spin and go from blue to black and red. The ceiling opens revealing a massive window to space, all this while The Floating Man’s android 8Key breezed into the room carrying lunch.
He had a large boiled Boar’s head (to each his own).
“8Key, what have you got there?”
“What you asked for, My Lord, is it not sufficient?” 8Key averted his eyes and pretended to tidy up a desk as The Floating Man came up to him and put his eyes an inch from 8Key’s. A small stream of electricity carried over to 8Key and caused his mind to race. All the while Commander Kulp inspected the boiled Boar’s head.
“8Key, careful…don’t placate me or I’ll blow you to PIECES!” thundered The Floating Man as he sprayed electricity around the large body of 8Key. 8Key leaned his head back and his eyes rolled into the sides of his eye sockets.
“Floating Man, the Boar’s head is spectacular. Shall we dine?” asked Commander Kulp in an obvious attempt to divert The Floating Man from violence. 8Key fell to one knee and The Floating Man floated over to Kulp. The floor started glowing red and the music of Poright started to play (Poright was a renowned musical prodigy with habits shall we say. Those habits being young woman and large pills).
“Of course we shall! Stand back!” snapped The Floating Man as he grabbed the Boar’s head in his hands and then took a large bite off of it. The gravy and Boar’s blood dripped off his chin with electricity pulsating through it.
I walked around the corner and I saw the scene inside and I knew quiting would not be easy. I slid in through the secret passageway behind the couch. I slowly lifted my head up to survey my options. The Floating Man saw my reflection on the window and smiled to himself. Commander Kulp saw me as well and grinned as he knew I was trying to scare the two of them.
“Why don’t we have a seat on the couch?”
“Of course, Commander, rest a bit,” replied The Floating Man as he grinned and headed for the couch. I wasn’t sure if they had seen me but I still needed to fool them somehow. I slid under the couch
and tried to crawl to the far end of it, but my leg was caught on something. I looked down and it was electricity from The Floating Man pulling at my leg. Damn it, I’m caught.
“Alright you got me. Let go of my leg,” I pleaded as I tried to free myself.
“Did you hear anything, Commander?” asked The Floating Man coyly as he grinned and gently tugged on my leg. 8Key smiled and looked under the couch.
“What are you doing under there, Leftic? People are crazy,” said 8Key as he offered me his hand I took hold of his massive metal hand and he pulled me out right at the feet of The Floating Man.
“Hey,” is all I could muster at this untimely embarrassment, but maybe it would work in my favor. If you make yourself small sometimes you can get the treatment of a king.
“Hey, Leftic, what a pathetic attempt at scaring me,” The Floating Man spoke as if he was my father.
“Would you like some Boar’s head?” The Floating Man asked as he dangled the Boar’s head in front of me as it dripped with blood and gravy on my shirt.
“Yes, if you could help me up,” I said sadly as looked for some saving grace and found none. The Floating Man grabbed my wrist and hoisted me to my feet like a crane lifting a giant piece of metal. I stood there as they laughed and felt I could have handled this differently.
“Why are you here, Leftic?” asked The Floating Man as he looked me over. I knew he liked me and somehow that had to work in my favor.
“I want out of the military,” I stated flatly as I adjusted my shirt and then took a bite off the side of the Boar’s head (delicious might I add).
“No,” The Floating Man said sadly as if he was asked to eat manure. He floated away from me and I felt completely disarmed and embarrassed. With that said I still think there’s a chance.
“Wait…wait a second I’ve been loyal all these years and I deserve a chance to do something, else.”
“No,” said The Floating Man flatly as he grabbed an energy port and sucked the electricity out of it.
It looked almost orgasmic the way his body swayed back and forth.
“Look, God damn it I want out and that’s it!” I barked as I clenched my fist. This had to work or else.
“No,” The Floating Man sat down in his energy bed and closed the shell. I looked at Commander Kulp and he could only shrug his shoulders. What is going on here?”
“Kulp, God damn it talk to him-please,” I begged as I walked over to Commander Kulp and put my arm around his shoulders.
“No chance, you’re on your own. You know your people need you and that’s it,” said Commander Kulp and then he produced a small tan tube and pulled out a small scroll and said,” Read this.”
I took the scroll and it read as follows,” A Golarian is only alone in death. While we are alive we are always part of the glorious whole. If you Bake, we bake. If you paint, we paint the empty spaces. If you are lucky enough to be born into the ancient brotherhood then we breathe together. Golarian today, Golarian forever.”
“Ok…fine I’ll be what I was born to be. The 2nd planet is working out and the nanobot construction is proceeding at incredible pace. At this rate the cities will be finished in a day or two,” I said sadly as I fumbled in my pocket for the hologram projection of the cities being built. I paused pulled the triangular object from my pocket and the room filled with the incredible hologram.
“Looks good, now we’re getting our home and our destiny,” started The Floating Man as he eyed the skyscrapers and the lush gardens being manicured. “I don’t need much so I am always happy with what I get.”
“The Floating Man, can I show you the personal palace you’ll being living in?”
“Yes, yes that would be great, Leftic, please.”
I waved my hand through the green glowing light controls and the hologram raced through the city and out into the country. I dashed past herds of large and small beasts as birds darted here and there. The Floating Man smiled and electricity oozed out the sides of his mouth. He was happy (well as happy as he gets).
“Where now, I don’t see it?”
“Just a second, it’s on this hill up ahead,” I replied as the hologram showed a lush green field filled with daisies. It darted up a gradual sloping hill and then through the front gate of a 300,000 square foot palace foe The Floating Man. The walls were ornate and some covered in electricity art. Others, had incredible paintings by the Golarian masters. The Floating Man was a huge art lover, it fueled him.
“Spectacular,” said The Floating softly as he shook his head and shot swirling streams of electricity around his body with only his eyes visible and glowing.
8Key and Commander Kulp were in awe but I was softly smiling. This would work out for us I just knew it. We’d found our forever home. Two hours later-after many drinks-the party broke up and I made my way through the ship and over to the Lerage. It was one of the seedier bars you’d ever go to, but sometimes you just need the common man’s touch to feel whole. After all we’d been through to get here I needed a stranger to talk to.
“Hey man, you know the way to heaven?” asked Heroy jokingly as he nudged my shoulder while I sat at the bar.
“Not exactly, but I can try a few things for ya. Stand still,” I said sarcastically as I grabbed my Borman.
“Hey, just kidding old friend, relax. I didn’t expect to see you here, did the Floating Man say no to your resignation?”
“Yes…he said no. Today sucks and tomorrow will be the same. I just wanted to laze around and get drunk all day. Are those terrible life goals?” I ask drunkenly as I sipped my Boma whiskey and watch Eleanor Bugsy walk in. She’s an actress and the most beautiful woman alive. She actually leaves her quarters in clothes made out of tight leather. That’s marriage material in my book.
“I have the same goals, Leftic, but you and I are company men. You know that, hey let me buy you a beer,” said Heroy happily as he rubbed shoulders with me and pulled out his gold payment disc. I felt a hand on my left shoulder and turned quickly to see a smiling Vola standing there.
“Hey there, you want some company?”
“Vola, I came here to meet strangers and bare my soul. I have no luck, please sit down,” I replied as Heroy handed me a drink that looked like a large children’s toy. I took a minute trying to figure out where you were supposed to drink it from before Heroy pressed a button on the side of it and tongue shaped straw came out the side. I love modern technology.
“Looks delicious,” said Vola with a come hither smile. I didn’t seem to mind this she was amazing. I watched as she pulled out an opiate tube and took a hit off of it. Vola smiled and offered it to me, but just before I got to my lips I faintly heard someone say “Big Dan is here” then I wasn’t thirsty for some reason. Big Dan, if you must know is a 3 foot 8 inch jerk who likes to punch people in the face. The problem is he has one hell of a hammer punch regardless of size. And as luck would have it I owe him money, great.
“Is that you, Leftic?” asked Big Dan snidely in his unmistakable heavy bass voice. God I hate bars.
Dan was wearing a red leather body suit, very becoming. He climbed up a red rope to the bar and headed straight for me. I’m never drinking again.
“Hey, hey, Dan, how…how are ya?” I asked halfheartedly as he stood there sizing me up. I watched as he winded up his right hand a few times and knew this was going to end badly.
“Leftic, I should beat you to death,” Dan said angrily as he unzipped his leather suit and black hairy chest oozed out.
“Hold on, Dan, now it’s only been 3 months I’m workin’ on it!” I launched back at him as I got ready to duck. Dan grabbed my shirt and pulled me close.
“Leftic, we have business,” said Big Dan sternly as he looked deep into my eyes.
“What business, Dan?” asked Heroy as he watched 5 of Big Dan’s goons slide in close to the 3 of us.
“There’s a problem with Herinites.”
“There’s no problem there, I heard they’re happy with the new planet, and everything is cool,” I spoke as if I’d heard something when in fact I hadn’t, liar’s technique number 9.
“They’re restless…they want The Floating Man to touch the ground for good. These are the seeds of war, Leftic, think of it,” said Big Dan coldly as he motioned for his goons to create a perimeter around us.
Big Dan had a chair put behind and he did sit. I knew if the Herinites wanted war it might bring the end of The Floating Man and his reign of terror. Maybe, and this is a blind man’s maybe, maybe we’d all be truly free for once. It’s been so long since we tasted freedom that mold had grown on the surface of our hope. We we’re sad without reason, crying without tears.
“If that happens-then all bets are off,” I started as I watched Big Dan kiss an attractive stripper and then throw back a green glowing shot of Boka whiskey. The Boka made the only whiskey worth drinking if you knew anything about whiskey. I looked at him and saw something new in his eyes. What is going on I wondered.
“Then stop gambling, because it’s going down, and soon. Keep a quiet mouth huh?”
I looked at Big Dan and smiled and said,” Of course-didn’t need to be said.”
“Good, but ahh…who’s side are you on, Leftic?” asked Big Dan flatly as he made me a little nervous.
“Always on the side of us,” I answered casually as I grinned and then said,” The Floating Man is a monster. The flood of fools that will follow him will not go down easily, Dan. Not at all,” I said sternly as Vola put the opiate tube to my lips. I watched Dan smile and then there was a monstrous crashing sound in the far end of the bar. Terror shot throw me as I worried it was The Floating Man. It was. The Floating flew into the room electrifying everyone that he saw. This told me it was time to run and run we did.
Heroy scooped up Big Dan and put him on his shoulders. We ran outside and The Floating Man had his troops everywhere we looked.
“Quick this way!” Vola yells as she points to a narrow space between the buildings. Normally I wouldn’t think of going into that filthy alley, but The Floating Man was on another one of his rampages and I had no choice. Behind me I heard screaming.
“Won’t you tell me your plans, Citizens?!” screamed The Floating Man as he blasted a hole right through a man’s chest. He raced out into the street and turned the area around him into a giant ball of electricity. When he got this crazy-you just ran, that’s it. This is why he must be stopped.
We moved as fast as we could through the tight alley and came to a small opening. There was a door marked talent. Talent, what the hell is this place?
“We’re going in!” Heroy said boldly as he tried to pry the door open. Dan jumped off his back and pulled on Heroy’s arm “What is it?”
“I got this!” said Big Dan triumphantly as he reared back and punched the door so hard it snapped in two.
“Holy crap, you need to work out, Dan,” I said sarcastically as Big Dan smiled and flexed his large right arm.
“Inside quickly,” urged Heroy as he saw the electricity ball behind them.
“You got it,” said Big Dan as he ran inside and I quickly followed. Inside there were animals large and small and people large and small. There was a sign that Read ”Amazing Key’s Family Circus,”
another weird day in life. The walls were covered in photos and large swirls of red and gold. Not a bad place to hide out.
“Is this your place, Dan?”
“Good one, Leftic, my place has more animals. Look, we need to keep moving, just in case,” said Big Dan as he peeked back down the alley and saw 3 of The Floating Man’s troops squeezing their way through.
“Agreed, let’s go to my place,” said Vola as she peeled back the curtain to see the theater filled with kids watching the show. They had Tuskie’s (which are small camels) walking down the aisles. Each Tuskie was trained to let the children pet them and even ride them. I remember riding Tuskie’s in my youth, good times.
“This way,” urged Heroy as he tugged at my shirt. We walked quickly down a spiral staircase that went right and then straight and then spiraled left, strange to say the least. It even started to go and then up giving Big Dan a real level of annoyance due to his size. There it stood the Lackey statue, a 300 foot tall wooden warrior filled with seedy hotel rooms and drug dens. I really hoped this wasn’t where Vola lived.
“This is my place watch your step they kill for no reason here,” said Vola firmly as she opened the front door with a facial recognition key. Big Dan looked around and started dancing like a street walker. It
brought a smile to my face momentarily until I heard The Floating Man’s voice out in the street screaming,” You’ll Never be one, NEVER!!” This let me know we were not safe, not yet.
Up a small crooked staircase and we came to a trio of wooden doors with inverted numbers, nice touch. There was no guard railing and it was a long way down to the basement. I felt nervous and I wasn’t the only one. Vola opened her door and in we went. Then we heard it,” The End is a formality!” The Floating believed his fantasies and his mind was warping. He’d always been mean but something was different now, he was evil to most.
“Nice place,” said Big Dan as he jumped on the heart shaped velvet couch. I took care not to sit on Big Dan, but it was tempting. There were Galley boy masks hanging from the wall (Galley Boy Masks were for the kinky at heart. There were sex parties and the like for the owner’s) who am I to judge.
“Thanks, you guys thirsty?” asked Vola as she opened the digital fridge and 4 layers of soft drinks spun forward to her waist. Outside the sound of a man being electrocuted was loud in my ears and I almost didn’t hear Vola.
“What…yeah anything thanks. Are you sure we’re safe here?” I asked nervously as I peeked out the window and saw The Floating Man laying siege to a group of young me just out for a beer. This was wrong and I knew it, but I couldn’t do much about it, yet anyway.
“Yeah, The Floating Man owns the building so there’s no chance he’ll burn it down,” answered Vola as she offered me a hand shaped can of soda. I looked at the blue can and drifted for a few seconds before grabbing it. Was I losing it?”
“Hey, what about Big Dan?” asked Big Dan in disbelief as he grinned and then said,” I sure could use a beverage.”
“Just a second, Big Dan, it’s coming,” answered Vola as she hurried out into the small kitchen.
Heroy watched all of us and wondered if we knew just how close to death from The Floating Man we really were.
“Vola, do you have weapons here?”
“Yes…a couple long rifles why?”
“We’ll need them look on those rooftops!” said Heroy as he pointed to the rooftop’s across the way covered with The Floating Man’s troops. They were firing upon everyone and anyone. It’s funny, different planet in Soaverge but the same old problems.
“We’re movin’ folks! Let’s go!” I said boldly as I watched a soldier firing a zipline to the Lackey statue. Everyone jumped up and Vola waved us over to a secret passageway under the sink. As the sink was lifted higher a massive tunnel down into the ground revealed itself. The lights along the side the tunnel were dim and flickering furthering my nervousness. What if they went out entirely it’d be total blackness. We needed some luck.
“Run!” thundered Heroy as he heard gunshots in the offshoots of the tunnel. We ran and I scooped up Big Dan with my right hand. We ran around a long sloping corner and came to a vast cave with a red river flowing down the center. There were people grabbing the boats nearby and running back to the river.
In the walls I saw cave dwellers smoking and laughing. Did they even know what was going on? They were the uneducated hidden from the rest of us. I felt for them.
“What now?” I asked sadly as I smelt dead rats and felt like throwing up.
Big Dan squirmed out of my hands and started walking briskly towards an elderly man in a red cloak. The man was named Herono and he had apparently died 300 years prior. Nice magic trick. Herono ran the Triptik cult, a group consumed with taking the drug Pisatt. It had qualities to it that some said gave you powers, whatever that means.
“Herono?” asked Big Dan dumbfounded at the sight of his Great Grandfather.
Herono turned and his eyes glowed yellow and his hands faded in and out of our dimension. He looked upon Big Dan and then wept as he spoke,” I know who you are. I’m sorry for your disability. You are mine, my kin that is I can tell by the eyes. God IT MUST BE HARD!” said Herono tearfully as he put his hands on Big Dan’s shoulders. He embraced him and the ceiling simultaneously started to leak fire.
There was a large assortment of tiny balls of fire that didn’t make me happy at all
“We can’t stay here, Dan!” I said urgently as I pulled on his shoulder. Big Dan slowly let go of Herono and then turned to me and nodded. Something in his eyes startled me and that doesn’t happen often. Who was this Herono?
“We can go up river, to Turnbud. We’ll be safe there,” said Hernono as Vola and Heroy pulled a black painted rowboat onto the boat landing. We piled in and began our trip down river. As we rode along I saw the drug followers of Herono standing nearly lifeless and staring at us as we passed. You can’t take back a hand grenade. Herono’s help was being taken without any regard for the price. For better or worse we needed him.
“Where have you been, Herono?” asked Big Dan softly as he rubbed Herono’s left shoulder. Herono kept looking forward like a man with a secret. He wanted t tell us, but he didn’t want us to know. This was a complicated man, powerful and calm at the same time. Herono said nothing and then pulled a green glowing disc from his pocket and let it go. The disc floated out in front of the boat and then created a light in a cave where there was none. Sometimes you just feel like dying, but not today I thought. We rode over a small waterfall and then around a sharp corner of rapids. There, there in the dim glow of firelight Turnbud sat sprawled out in half cave and half countryside. It had all the red clay houses of the Gife (a clan of red skinned men and women) and a giant red metropolis. The Gife were skilled tradesmen and also notorious gamblers. If our fate lay with them it was 50/50 at best. It the background I could hear the all too familiar voice of The Floating Man echoing off the buildings,” There is but one way, mine and
mine alone!” He pumped this in every city as a form of brainwashing. Most of us tuned it out, but many would succumb and feel fear in an empty room.
“Dan, are we going somewhere special?” I asked intently sensing Big Dan wasn’t being forthright with me. Big Dan grinned and slowly pulled out a cigar and put it in my mouth. He grinned and gave me a wink. I knew this was not going to be easy, but at this point I needed anything different just to feel safe.
The boat slid up along the side of the river and several Gife started to take notice of us. These are the moments you’re glad you have a firearm. The GIfe started to run towards and pull long glowing sticks out of their coats. I’d seen those before they were Gaimers, a form of knockout stick. It was getting heavy.
“Is this gonna work out, Dan?” asked Heroy angrily as he shook Big Dan’s shoulder.
“Of course, Heroy, relax,” reassured Big Dan as he motioned to the Gife, but they continued running towards us. “Hello friends!”
Big Dan offered his hand and got sideswiped with a Gaimer in the side of the face. The electric shock that went through his face gave him one hell of a wakeup call. The Gife surrounded us and then a tall one named Barechild stepped forward.
“Whatever you’re doing here, you made a horrible mistake,” said Barechild with the voice of a thief in an alley late at night, unnerving to say the least.
“Wait...we’re foe to the Floating Man, foe,” said Herono as he created a ball of fire in his hand and smiled. Barechild slowly moved back from Herono. He motioned for his troops to lower their weapons and they did. I was thankful I didn’t get a Gaimer upside the head let me tell ya.
“You may join with us for dinner, please,” said Barechild warmly as he smiled and shoed his jeweled front 2 teeth. We followed Barechild to his vast home and talk of revolution was not far behind. I felt uneasy about sitting there unbeknownst to The Floating Man. I had to be smarter, I had too. The day
became the night and sleeping quarters were arranged. I was just thankful to be safe even if only for a brief moment. In the morning we were shown several magic tricks and then given a vehicle to drive. All in all this journey was getting on my nerves. If it brought about change then it was worth it.