Still Life by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
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Still Life
Page 69
spreadsheet salvation. It had begun appearing on bumper stickers, tote bags, and even municipal recycling bins, leading to theological confusion and a spike in decimal based conversions.
Theologians protested. Street preachers wept. Merch vendors, heavy in T-shirt inventory, panicked.
Meanwhile, the city's underground cabal of satirical monks; known as the Order of the Partial Messiah, celebrated. They had long argued that divinity should remain unmeasured, unbranded, and unquantified. Their new slogan, "Approximately Divine," began appearing in alleyways and under bridges, scrawled in chalk and irony.
But resistance brewed.
A rogue faction of evangelical mathematicians launched a counter campaign called "Pi Percent Jesus," arguing that holiness was infinite, irrational, and best expressed through transcendental numbers. Their leader, Sister Cosine, was arrested after attempting to project a rotating sine wave onto the Rijksmuseum.
In response, the Department of Semantic Hygiene issued a clarification:
