They raced toward the stagecoach.
They got twenty feet in front of the stagecoach when Bart whipped out his pistol and fired a shot into the air.
“Whoa!” the stagecoach driver yelled, yanking back on the reins, and the horses stopped.
Charlie whipped out his pistol and aimed it at the shotgun rider when he grabbed his rifle.
“One move and I’ll put a bullet between your eyes,”
Charlie yelled.
The shotgun rider put his rifle away.
“Everybody out!” Bart yelled.
The stagecoach door slowly opened. Carl and Henry stepped out of the stagecoach. They assisted Linda, a fifty-year-old homely woman, out of the stagecoach.
Charlie got out of the saddle of his horse, as did John.
Bart aimed his pistol at the stagecoach driver and the shotgun rider.
Charlie rushed over to Carl, Henry, and Linda.
John got his cloth bag out of his saddlebag.
“Give us all your money,” Charlie yelled at them.
Henry and Carl reached into their pockets and removed gold and silver coins.
John walked up to Henry. He dropped his coins in John’s bag. He moved over to Carl, who dropped his coins in the cloth bag. “Give us the loot for the Stone Valley bank,” Bart yelled at the stagecoach driver.
“We don’t have anything for the Stone Valley bank,” the stagecoach driver replied.
Bart aimed his pistol and fired off a shot. The bullet hit the seat near the stagecoach driver’s butt. He jumped, scared, as did Henry, Carl, Linda, and John. The driver reached under his seat and removed a bag stuffed with cash.
“Get it, Charlie,” Bart barked.
Charlie walked over, and the stagecoach driver tossed the bag into Charlie’s waiting hands.
John looked at Linda, who had her coins in her hand.
Charlie looked at John with a smart-ass smirk. “Are you going to kiss her?” Charlie asked.
Linda realized who John was and smiled in anticipation of a kiss. She puckered her lips and aimed them at John.
John looked at Linda, but she was too old for his standards.
But if he didn’t kiss her, Bart might think he’s a fake and won’t
let him ride with them. So, I leaned in closer to Linda and kissed her waiting lips. He stepped away from her, and she dropped her coins into his bag.
She looked at John with love in her eyes.
John stepped farther away with a little bit of the dry heaves.
“Let’s get out of here,” Bart yelled.
Charlie and John ran to their horses. Charlie got out of the saddle of his horse while John dropped the loot into his saddlebag. He got in the saddle of his horse, and they galloped off on a dusty trail.
They rode southwest for a few hours and made camp hidden in the White Tank Mountains.
The sun settled, and the night was coming on fast.
It was John’s turn to make the fire. John tried using one of his bullets, and to his amazement, it worked, and his chest puffed out.
The campfire was lit, and another rabbit was cooked under the flames.
Bart, Charlie, and John sat on their blankets while Bart divided up today’s take. It was massive, and John couldn’t believe his eyes and knew he would be filthy rich when he returned home.
Bart and Charlie dumped their take into their bags, then got up and dropped them in their saddlebags. He removed the bottle of whiskey from his bag and then sat back on their blankets.
“So, Mathers, do you want more stuff for our book?” Bart asked as he liked the idea of a book written about his life. He opened up the bottle of whiskey and took a gulp. He passed the bottle to Charlie.
“Sure!” John replied.
Charlie took a gulp of whiskey and passed the bottle to John.
“Well, it was around three years ago. We hid out in the Sandia Mountains over by Albuquerque,” Bart said.
John wasn’t thrilled with that information and took a sip of whiskey. He handed the bottle back to Bart.
“We hid for a week with Billy the Kid,” Bart said, then took a gulp of whiskey and passed the bottle to Charlie.
“You hung out with Billy the Kid? The real Billy the Kid?”
John repeated to make sure he heard correctly.
“Yep, sure did,” Charlie nodded in agreement, then took a gulp of whiskey and passed the bottle to John.
“How did you meet him?” John asked.
“We met on the trail outside Albuquerque. Almost shot each other thinking we were the law,” Bart said. “Then we realized who each other was, so we decided to hide out together.”
“I can’t believe it. You knew Billy the Kid!” John said, still amazed. “What was he like?” John asked, took a sip of whiskey, and passed the bottle back to Bart.
“He was hilarious and told good stories. He seemed too nice of a kid to be a famous outlaw,” Bart said, looking jealous.
“So, Mister John Mathers, you better write this book and make me more famous than Billy,” Bart said.
“I will. I promise,” John said, realizing he might have bitten off more than he could chew. But he always had 2006 to hide out for a safe haven.
Bart put the cork back in the whiskey bottle and got up.
He walked over to his horse and placed the bottle in his saddlebag.
“Get some rest; we have an exciting money-making day tomorrow,” Bart said, returning to his blanket and lying down.
Charlie and John all lay on their blankets and were soon fast asleep.
It was Saturday morning, September 15th, 1883.
Bart was the first to rise and soon kicked Charlie and John awake.
They both got up and stretched. John was extra stiff as sleeping on the ground was new, and his body wasn’t used to this way of life.
Hours later, Bart, Charlie, and John sat in their saddles while they waited along the Southern Pacific rail line. The track vibrated, and Bart smiled, knowing the train was coming.
“She’s down the tracks,” he said, looking at Charlie. “You’re on,” he told him. Charlie grinned, and they looked down the tracks.
The train raced down the track, heading at them.
The train raced past them.
Charlie galloped his horse after the engine.
Bart and John stayed behind and watched.
Charlie galloped his horse alongside the engine. He stood up on his saddle and jumped onto the engine. Charlie whipped out his gun and aimed it at the train engineer. The train screeched to a stop.
John looked amazed at the feat Charlie just completed.
“Great stuff for my book!” he thought.
Bart rode his horse to the baggage car of the train.
“Open up, or the engineer gets shot, then you’ll be next,”
he yelled at the car. The door to the car slid open.
Inside that car, Paul O’Hara, a Southern Pacific employee, peeked his head out of the door and almost pissed his pants when he saw Bart and John with pistols aimed at him.
“Watch my back,” Bart ordered John while he got out of the saddle of his horse.
Bart climbed up in the car and immediately whacked Paul on the head with his pistol.
Paul dropped to the floor of the car, out cold.
John watched the train from the outside while Charlie had his gun on the train engineer.
People poked their heads in the windows of the passenger car to see what was going on.
“Is that the Kissing Bandit?” Kathy asked her friend Jenny while they looked at John.
“I think it is,” Jenny replied.
“I hope he kisses me,” Kathy said.
“Naw, he’s going to kiss me,” Jenny said determinedly.
“I’m prettier,” she added, smiling as her teeth were a little whiter than Kathy’s.
John felt proud after he heard the ladies talk about him.
Bart jumped out of the baggage car with two large bags stuffed with cash: bills and coins.
Bart quickly jumped on his horse.
“Let’s git,” he told John.
They rode to the engine and came upon the passenger car, where Kathy and Jenny leaned out their windows to get a kiss from John.
John rode up to them and stood up in his stirrups. He planted a kiss on Kathy, then planted a kiss on Jenny.
Kathy and Jenny watched with smiles while John and Bart raced off to the engine.
“Come on, Charlie,” Bart said.
Charlie quickly climbed down off the engine and jumped on his horse.
They galloped away into the desert.
Later that night, they made camp in the hills south of Stone Valley, their next target. Instead of rabbit, tonight’s cuisine was Armadillo sizzling on the fire.
After they divided up the take from the train, they drank the bottle of whiskey.
“So Bart, how did you get part of our ear cut off, if you don’t mind me asking?” John said.
Bart took a gulp of whiskey. “Charlie and I were in a saloon in Timberwood, New Mexico, two years back. Some stupid drunk got pissed when Charlie here bumped into him, and he spilled his whiskey. He whipped out a knife and sliced at Charlie,” Bart said.
“This guy looked meaner than a one-eyed rattlesnake,”
Charlie added. “I moved back, and then Bart punched him in his kidneys, and he dropped to his knees. Then, while Bart reached for his pistol, the guy jumped up and sliced part of Bart’s ear off,” Charlie added.
“Then I shot the bastard dead,” Bart grinned.
“Sounds like self-defense,” John said.
Bart and Charlie weren’t sure what that meant.
“Well, I never got in jail,” Bart said, then took a gulp of whiskey.
They talked for another hour, and John learned more about Bart’s life, especially how he got involved in being an outlaw. It was either steal or starve, as Bart described it, and since he never got arrested, he loved stealing.
A couple of hours later, they all were fast asleep.
The sun rose, and Friday morning looked so peaceful.
Bart and John were sound asleep.
Charlie was gone as he woke up for his morning piss.
Charlie ran back to Bart in a panic. He ran up to Bart and kicked him.
“Wake up. We have a posse after us,” Charlie yelled out.
Bart jumped up.
John woke up and wondered if he was in a dream.
“Posse coming after us!” Bart yelled at John.
John jumped up and realized he was back in reality.
Bart and Charlie quickly rolled up their blankets and placed them on their saddles. They promptly got in the saddles of their horses.
John quickly rolled up his blankets and placed them on his saddle. John promptly hopped in the saddle of his horse.
They galloped off into the desert.
John’s blankets fell off his horse while they raced in the hills. Thirty minutes later, Clint and a posse of eight cowboys, deputized from the nearby towns, rode up on their horses. Clint saw John’s blanket on the ground.
“They must have left hurriedly,” he told his posse.
They rode off in the same direction. Bart, Charlie, and John rode off.
Bart, Charlie, and John galloped east in the desert. Clint and his posse were four miles behind them. Bart, Charlie, and John rode to the south end of the
Superstition Mountains, and Clint and his posse lost their tracks. In fact, they were in the exact spot where John parked his Mustang with a horse trailer in 2006.
“Are you sure you don’t want to hide out with us? We’re going to ride to New Mexico,” Bart asked John.
“Naw, I need to check on my girl,” John said.
“You kiss all them women, and you have a girl?” Bart said.
“Yeah,” John said and suddenly felt a little guilty.
“You a snake in the grass,” Charlie said with a smile, as he was proud of John.
“Whatever, I’ll meet you at Weavers Needle on Monday at noon,” John said.
“Okay. We hit the Mountain Rock bank. Then, we’ll all head to Fort Sumner and hide for a few weeks.
Some friends of Billy the Kid will protect us,” Bart said.
“Then another friend of mine will join us there. Jimmy Templeton will hook up with us after he gets out of Yuma prison.”
“Okay, sounds good,” said John.
Bart and Charlie ride off in the direction of Miners Needle. John rode off south.
He rode south for a little while, then stopped. He turned around and saw Bart and Charlie were gone.
He headed north to Miners Needle.
Bart and Charlie went inside Crazy Hole with their saddlebags in hand.
“This cave scares me, Bart. You know what the Injuns say about Crazy Hole,” Charlie said while they walked down the tunnel with torches in hand.
“I know, but nobody would dare come here and steal our loot. It’s the perfect hiding place,” Bart said.
They eventually walked where the cave dead-ended with a tunnel to the right. They dropped their saddlebags in the dirt.
Bart dug a hole with his hands under the priest’s carving.
Charlie dug a hole with his hands four feet to the left of Bart.
“We better draw a map of where we buried this so we don’t forget,” Charlie said while he dug deeper.
“Yep, I reckon you’re right. I’ll do it as soon as we get to New Mexico,” Bart replied.
Twenty feet away from Crazy Hole, John hid behind some rocks. His horse was tied to a bush another twenty feet from him. He peeked over rocks and saw Bart and Charlie’s horses outside Crazy Hole. He knew exactly what they did inside.
Twenty minutes later, Bart and Charlie walked out of Crazy Hole. They got in the saddles of their horses and galloped off towards the south.
John ducked behind the rocks while they galloped thirty feet away and continued to head south.
When the coast was clear, John ran to his horse. He removed his shirt and covered the horse’s eyes.
John held the reins and walked his horse over to Crazy Hole.
Later that night, back in Oak Creek, Elmer swept the Marshal’s office floor. On the wall near him hung wanted posters for John, Bart, and Charlie for robbing the Stone Valley bank, stagecoach, and the Southern Pacific train.
Clint entered the office exhausted and dirty from his ride in the desert.
“Lose them again?” Elmer asked.
“They vanished.”
“Why didn’t you use Merijildo?” Elmer asked.
“He was off somewhere north,” Clint replied. Clint looked frustrated while he walked over to the potbelly stove and poured a cup of coffee.
He walked back to his desk and sat down. He sipped his hot coffee in deep thought.
It was back to Tuesday, August 29th, 2006.
John entered his apartment rushing to his computer desk.
He anxiously waited for the Dell to boot up.
After his Del booted up, he quickly opened up a Word file, typed notes of his time spent with Bart and Charlie, and ensured he captured all he learned about Bart’s life.
After he finished, he searched Yahoo for John Mathers, alias the Kissing Bandit. He closed his eyes, crossed his fingers while waiting for the results to appear.
John opened them and jumped out of his seat with joy.
There were many results for John Mathers. He clicked on one, and a Wikipedia story about the Kissing Bandit appeared.
John ran to his coffee table and grabbed his Outlaws and Lawmen of Arizona book. He flipped through the pages, and gave out a joyful “Yes!” seeing a story about himself.
“John Mathers, the Kissing Bandit, was an outlaw who rode with Bart Stone and Charlie Chandler. Together, they robbed banks and stagecoaches in the Phoenix area. They were never arrested for their outlaw ways,” John read from the book.
He saw the same picture of Bart, Charlie, and him taken in Rattlesnake. Below the picture was the “Courtesy of Anna Tippins” caption.
John laid his book back on the coffee table. He danced a dorky dance around the living room in joy he finally made the history books and the Internet.
He sniffed the air, realizing he had the worst body odor from life in the desert without a shower.
He rushed down the hallway, into his bedroom, quickly stripped naked and took a shower.
Later that day, John drove his Mustang to four different coin shops in the Phoenix area and got checks for his loot.
John drove to the bank and deposited four checks that totaled twenty-five six hundred dollars. He kept some of the bills for use when he returned to meet with Bart and Charlie.
John returned to his apartment dressed in his Levi’s and western shirt.
A little while later, he left with his cowboy hat on his head.
John drove to Angie’s apartment complex and parked.
John walked to her apartment with a dozen red roses.
He walked to her door, knocked on it, and hid the roses behind his back. The door opened, and Angie appeared. “What do you want?” Angie said, still a little upset with John. Then she noticed his weeks’ worth of beard growth. “You didn’t shave all week?” she said.
He whipped out the roses and handed them to Angie. She caved and accepted the roses.
“I want to take you to dinner,” John said.
Angie looked at John. “I hope it’s not the Outlaw Steakhouse,” she said.
“I know you hate the place, but I believe they’ll have something there that will impress you,” John said.
“John. Please! Can we eat somewhere else for once?”
Angie pleaded.
“Just come with me back to the steakhouse. I really need to check something out there. Please! It’s the last time we’ll go to this place. I promise!” John pleaded while he got on one of his knees.
Angie entered her apartment and put her roses in water in a vase. She got her purse off the kitchen counter and returned to the door.
“Okay, but there better be a good reason why I should go back,” Angie said while she closed and locked her apartment door.
The drive to the steakhouse was quiet, and Angie looked irritated that John wore his cowboy hat.
John insisted the hostess place them in a booth were it appeared new items were hung on the wall.
Within a few minutes, Mandy, their waitress, walked up to their table.
“I’m Mandy. Can I start you off with some drinks?” she asked.
“Ice tea, please,” Angie said.
“I’ll take whiskey. Two shots in a glass,” John said. Mandy smiled and then walked away.
Angie rolled her eyes at John’s sudden interest in whiskey.
John still had his cowboy on his head.
Angie rolled her eyes again at the sight of his hat. He looked at all the new items on the wall.
John’s eyes widened at the sight of an old faded wanted poster and article behind Angie. I t was a copy of the wanted poster in Clint’s office in 1883. It had John’s face sketch on it.
“I’m finally a famous old western outlaw!” John said, incredibly proud of himself. “And, I know my book will be a best-seller,” he added.
Angie ignored John’s comment.
Mandy returned with their drinks and placed them on the table. “I’ll be back in a few to take your orders,” she said, then walked away.
John scooted out of his seat and entered Angie’s seat. She hurried over, and he immediately leaned over Angie to read the article about the Kissing Bandit.
John leaned closer to the wall while she sipped on her tea.
He accidentally knocked into her arm, and she spilled her tea onto her lap. She jumped up and slammed into his chin.
John fell backward out of the booth landing on his butt on the floor with his cowboy hat still on his head.
She got out pissed and stood over John. “What’s your problem?”
People at other tables watched the show.
John rubbed his chin and then pointed to the wall. “ Look, there’s an article about me being an old western outlaw,” he told her. Angie looked back at the wall and glanced at his wanted poster.
She rolled her eyes and glared back at John, really upset.
“Will you quit making up these outlaw lies! You probably made that poster yourself and paid this dump to hang it on the wall,”
Angie scolded.
” I’m not making this stuff up,” John pleaded, then thought for a second. “I’ll bring back proof! Proof I can also use in my book,” he added.
She swatted his cowboy hat off his head. His hat flew off and landed under a nearby table.
“When you’re ready to join me in this century, give me a call!” Angie said, then stormed off, pissed.
The restaurant was quiet, and all eyes were on John, who sat on the floor.
“Angie! Can we talk about this!” John cried. “ Please!” “I can prove it!” he cried out.
John shot up off the floor and ran after Angie. But he didn’t see Mandy, who walked with another table’s food orders.
They collided, and both tumbled on the floor, showering patrons with steak, onion rings, mashed potatoes, corn, and western rice.
John stood up and looked remorseful while he watched Angie storm out of the front doors.
Mandy was furious with John and wanted to strangle him.
A man walked over and handed John his cowboy hat.
John got up and rushed out of the steakhouse and looked for Angie. He saw her walk down the sidewalk.
She waved down a taxi, got inside, and the taxi drove her home.
John moped over to his Mustang with his hung down.
On the way home to his apartment, John stopped off at Wal-Mart. He purchased a small digital camera and some batteries. He was determined to prove to Angie he traveled back to 1883.
It was Wednesday morning, August 30th, 2006.
John showered and dressed in his outlaw outfit, placing two bullets in his left shirt pocket for potential rattlesnakes. He shoved his camera in the left front pocket of his Levi’s.
He left his cell phone on his coffee table and left his apartment.
Time passed, and John did the usual process, and time traveled back to Monday, September 17th, 1883.
John rode his horse north of Miners Needle to Weavers Needle.
He stopped about one hundred feet from Weavers Needle, waiting, then removed his digital camera from his pocket, holding it discreetly.
Twenty minutes passed, and Bart and Charlie raced to John on their horses.
When Bart and Charlie got within ten feet of John, he discreetly snapped a picture.
“Are you done seeing your girl?” Bart asked while they stopped their horses by John’s horse.
“Yeah, did you kiss her like you do them, other women?”
Charlie said, then smooched the air, then laughed a goofy laugh.
John felt guilty for all those women he kissed.
“Let’s get this over with and rob the Mountain Rock bank,”
John said.
“No. I changed my mind. I hear the Oak Creek bank got more loot from the train yesterday. Lots of money, and Marshal Bartley’s out of town,” Bart said with a greedy grin. “We’ll hit Mountain Rock on Wednesday,” Bart added.
“We’re going to be rich,” Charlie sang out in an awful key, dancing in his saddle.
“Sounds good to me,” John said, thinking that maybe this one would be the final heist.
Bart and Charlie rode off north in the desert.
John discreetly snapped a picture of Bart and Charlie while they rode away. He shoved the camera back in his front pocket.
He rode his horse after them.
Later that day, Bart, Charlie, and John sat on their horses where Oak Creek was two hundred feet away.
“Let’s go,” Bart said.
Bart and Charlie rode off with their horses toward Oak Creek.
John quickly removed his digital camera. He snapped a picture of Bart and Charlie with Oak Creek in the background.
He shoved his camera back in his pants pocket.
John rode his horse after Bart and Charlie.
John lagged behind Bart and Charlie while they rode into Oak Creek.
Marshal Bartley was over in Stone Valley doing some business. Elmer was in the Marshal’s office, but he was in his usual position; boots up on the desk, cowboy hat over his eyes, fast asleep.
While they rode into town, John discreetly snapped pictures of Oak Creek. They would help smooth things with Angie, and he could also use them for his book.
Bart and Charlie stopped at the Oak Creek National Bank and exited their saddles. They loosely tied their reins to the hitching post.
John rode up on his horse. He got out of his saddle and loosely tied the reins of his horse to the hitching post.
“Let’s get richer,” Bart said while removing his pistol from his holster. Bart opened up his saddlebag and removed a cloth bag. He handed it to John.
Charlie removed his pistol, as did John.
“Yeah, let’s get rich,” Charlie said with a grin.
A man and woman saw Bart, Charlie, and John fifteen feet away. They looked concerned and ran in the direction of the Marshal’s office.
Bart, Charlie, and John rushed to the bank door.
Rodney worked the teller counter and waited on George.
Behind him stood Frazier, Joseph, Carrie, and Wilma, both young women.
The door to the bank slammed open. Rodney, George, Frazier, Carrie, and Wilma jumped up, startled.
Bart and John rushed over to the teller’s counter. Bart fired a bullet into the ceiling.
“This is a hold-up,” Bart yelled out and cocked his pistol.
Charlie stood by the door with his pistol aimed at everybody, ready to shoot if they were a threat.
Rodney looked up from his work and saw John and Bart.
“Not again,” he mumbled to himself.
Carrie and Wilma saw John and smiled as all the women in town heard of the Kissing Bandit.
John held out his cloth bag. “You know what to do,” he reminded Rodney.
Rodney grabbed John’s bag. Bart and John waited by Rodney’s counter while shoving the bills, gold, and silver coins into the bag.
Bart turned around and aimed his pistol at everybody.
John discreetly reached into his pocket and removed his camera, and he stepped away. He discreetly snapped a picture from his camera, discreetly shoved the camera in his pocket, then returned to the counter.
Carrie leaned over to Wilma. “There’s the Kissing Bandit,”
she whispered close to Wilma’s ear.
Wilma looked at John, and her eyes twinkled. “I bet he kisses me,” she told Carrie.
“No, he’ll kiss me,” Carrie replied, assured she’d receive his lips. Rodney handed John the bag of loot.
Bart and John raced to the door.
Bart and Charlie watched while John stopped at Carrie and Wilma. They both closed their eyes and puckered for John’s lips. John thought for a second, then looked guilty for the first time. He rushed to the door.
Charlie saw an opportunity while Carrie and Wilma waited with eyes closed and lips puckered. He rushed over and gave Carrie a wet, sloppy kiss. He gave Wilma a wet, sloppy kiss.
Carrie and Wilma opened their eyes.
They saw Charlie with a horny grin and rotten teeth. Dry heaves time!
Charlie looked insulted and stormed off to the door, where Bart laughed while John opened it. They ran out of the bank.
“Stop right there!” Elmer yelled from across the street with his pistol aimed at them. Chester White, a town folk of Oak Creek, stood five feet from Elmer with his pistol drawn.
All the town folk of Oak Creek ran inside nearby buildings, fearful of a gun battle.
Bart and Charlie immediately took cover behind a horse trough. They whipped out their pistols, aiming at Elmer and Chester.
“I’m not going to hang, Elmer,” Bart yelled, then fired a warning shot in the air. “You better let us go, or you’ll be dead!”
yelled Bart and fired off another shot at Elmer’s boots.
Elmer jumped and hid behind a horse trough before the Prickly Cactus Saloon. Chester ducked behind the same trough.
“No way, Bart!” Elmer yelled back, then shot at Bart.
John stood frozen with fear as Elmer’s bullet whizzed by him and hit the wall of the bank.
Bart saw John standing up. “Get down and start shootin!”
John ducked behind the horse trough next to Bart and Charlie. He whipped out his pistol and aimed over the trough.
A rapid fire of bullets zinged between Bart, Charlie, Elmer, and Chester.
Something struck Bart as odd with John only hearing John’s pistol click. Bart got pissed. “No bullets? You rob banks without any bullets? Are you daft?” Bart yelled at John.
John quickly removed those two bullets from shirt pocket pocket, placing them into his revolver while the gun battle continued. He aimed across the street and fired off a shot.
John killed a glass window in the Prickly Cactus Saloon extremely close to Elmer.
While Elmer, Chester, Bart, and Charlie fired bullets at each other, John discreetly removed his camera from his pocket.
He discreetly snapped a picture while Bart peeked over the trough and fired shots with Charlie.
“Aim to kill, Kissing Bandit!” Bart yelled at him.
John aimed his gun at Elmer and Chester. But he pointed over their heads, hitting the roof of the restaurant.
Bart fired his pistol the second Elmer stood up to relocate to another trough.
Then Bart heard John’s pistol click. No bullets.
Bart glared at John then noticed Elmer clutching his chest in extreme pain.
Elmer dropped dead into the trough, and his head hit the water with a splash.
Chester looked at Elmer in shock.
A proud smirk grew on Bart’s face as he knew he shot Elmer.
John got terrified when he saw Elmer dead in the trough, as he thought he killed him. But he saw Bart’s smirk and the shattered second-floor window of the saloon.
John shoved his camera in the front Levi’s pocket. He suddenly got scared to death and got up with the bag.
He ran over to the hitching post and quickly untied the reins. At the same moment, Chester fired a shot at John. The bullet hit John in the left front pocket of his Levi’s.
John limped in pain and jumped on his horse with the loot bag. He galloped his horse down the street.
Bart watched John while he raced his horse out of town and got furious.
“He’s stealing our loot!” Bart yelled.
Chester reached over and pulled Elmer’s head out of the water. He saw Bart and Charlie stand up, and he aimed and fired at them.
Bart and Charlie dropped behind the trough. Bart fired off another bullet at Chester.
Chester dropped Elmer’s head, which splashed back in the trough’s water. Chester fell to the ground in pain with a bloody shoulder.
The town got quiet while gunfire lingered.
Bart and Charlie stood up and glanced around town. It was safe, so they rushed over and quickly untied their reins from the hitching post.
The jumped on their horses and raced down the street after John.
Town folk cautiously peeked out of doors.
They saw Elmer in the horse trough and Chester on the ground.
Zeke, Ricky, Winston, and Bucky ran out of the nearby buildings and over to Elmer and Chester.
John galloped his horse towards Miners Needle. He was scared, as he didn’t want someone killed.
He looked down at his left front Levi’s pocket expecting to see blood. Instead, he only saw a hole in his pants pocket without blood oozing out. John galloped his horse through a small creek.
John soon galloped towards Miners Needle.
Five hundred feet behind John, Bart and Charlie galloped their horses after him.
Back in Oak Creek, the town folk pulled Elmer out of the horse trough and placed his dead body on the ground.
They moved Chester, who passed out, next to Elmer. “Go get Doc Bartholomew,” Zeke called out.
Rodney ran off down the street to the doctor’s office.
John galloped to Crazy Hole and pulled back on the reins when the horse was fifteen feet from the cave. He jumped off with the cloth bag, ripped off his shirt, and quickly tied it around the horse’s eyes.
He rushed his horse to Crazy Hole and went inside.
Bart and Charlie galloped their horses toward Miners Needle.
“Where did he go?” Charlie asked while they galloped.
“I have an idea, and I’m not liking it,” Bart said while he looked at Miners Needle.
John used a small flashlight he had in his other pocket. It was enough to light his way down the cave. He reached the end of the cave by the Priest carving. Then, he walked his horse into the tunnel. B lue plasma light filled the tunnel while John time traveled back home.
Bart and Charlie galloped their horses closer to Crazy Hole.
Then Bart stopped his horse and jumped off. He looked in the dirt and saw horse tracks leading to Crazy Hole.
“Bastard. I bet he’s stealing our other loot,” Bart said furiously.
Charlie jumped off his horse. “Let’s get him,” Charlie said.
Bart grabbed the reins of his horse and walked it to Crazy Hole.
Charlie grabbed his reins and walked his horse.
They got five feet from Crazy Hole when both of their horse’s freaked out and jumped up on their hind legs. Bart and Charlie let go of the reins and ran away from their horses.
Their horses ran off scared. “Stupid animals,” Bart said while they watched as their horses stopped one hundred feet away. They walked to Crazy Hole and stood by the entrance.
“Come on out, Mathers!” Bart yelled into the cave, and it echoed, and there was silence.
“Let’s go,” Bart told Charlie.
They walked inside Crazy Hole, which was dark, as they had no torches.
“This place gives me the creeps,” Charlie said.
“Quiet,” Bart said, then cocked his pistol.
They inched their way down the dark and spooky cave of Crazy Hole.
Bart fired two bullets into the cave hoping he shot John.
“Give me my loot, Mathers,” Bart yelled in the cave, and it echoed. “I know you don’t have any bullets, besides, you only kill a window or a roof!”
It’s back to Wednesday, August 30th, 2006.
The blue plasma blue light illuminated while John rushed his blindfolded house out of Crazy Hole.
He was sweaty and pale, quickly looking down at the hole in his front pocket.
John got scared, and he unbuckled his pants and lowered them to see how bad he was shot. He was relieved seeing no bullet holes in the leg.
John reached into his pocket and removed his camera. The camera took the bullet and saved his leg. He got the dry heaves, thinking he could have been killed.
John quickly ran to the huge rock, dropped his pants to his ankles, and fell flat on his face. He got up and crawled to the rock, and immediately barfed. After getting up and wiping his mouth, he pulled up his pants and buckled his belt.
He got up and ran over to the part of the bush he cut away.
John propped it up at the cave opening so nobody would notice it was a cave.
John ran over to his horse, removed his shirt from the horse’s head, jumped on the horse, and galloped off, leaving a dusty trail.
Ten minutes later, in 2006, Bart and Charlie ran out of Crazy Hole in a panic, and they knocked over the bush blocking the cave entrance.
“That blue light really hurt, Bart,” Charlie said, scared of Crazy Hole, and moved away.
“I know,” Bart replied and checked his body out to make sure he wasn’t bleeding. He looked back at Crazy Hole. “What the hell just happened?” Bart said. “Maybe that’s why the Injuns call that tunnel Crazy Hole. Do you think we’re crazy?”
Charlie asked. Charlie looked at the bush that covered half of the opening to Crazy Hole and the cut bush on the ground.
“How did that bush grow here all of a sudden?” Charlie asked while lightly touching the bush to make sure it was real.
Bart looked and realized it was there. “Can’t figure that one out,” he said while he glanced down and kicked the cut bush on the ground.
Bart sniffed the air, walked over to the enormous rock, and sniffed around it. He knelt down, poked his finger into John’s barf, tasted it, and stood up, scanning the area. “It’s still warm, so he’s not too far away. Get the horses,” he told Charlie.
Charlie looked around and saw their horses were not in sight.
Bart noticed. “Stupid horses ran off,” Bart said pissed.
An airplane flew overhead, catching Bart and Charlie’s attention. They looked around and then looked up at the sky.
They saw a Piper Warrior flying one thousand feet above them.
“Is that a bird?” Bart asked while they looked at the Warrior. “It sure is loud. And look at the wings. Huge!”
“But it’s not flapping it’s wings. Birds flap their wings,”
said Charlie looking confused.
“I know,” added Bart also getting confused.
“The Injuns said there would be strange creatures seen if you enter Crazy Hole. We just saw one. A big bird that doesn’t flap,” Charlie said while he looked a little scared of the Warrior.
“I wonder if that bird will swoop down and attack us?” Charlie asked and got even more afraid.
Bart whipped out his pistol and aimed it at the Warrior.
“Not if I can help it,” he said, then fired a bullet at the Warrior.
The Warrior flew away, untouched by the bullets.
Bart looked mystified at the strange large bird.
“You missed, and I hope you don’t piss it off,” Charlie said and looked scared while crouching down with his pistol aimed up at the sky.
They waited to see if the Warrior would swoop down at them. The Warrior just flew away, unaware it was being shot.
They were both relieved that the big bird had flown away.
Bart looked around and saw John’s horse tracks in the dirt that led to the south.
“Let’s kill us a scoundrel,” Bart said, then followed the horse tracks.
Charlie followed Bart.
Back in Phoenix, John rushed into his apartment, still pale and shaken. He closed the door and leaned against it with his saddlebag in hand.
John ran over to the living room window and peeked out the curtains. He was relieved when things looked normal. No threats or police cars racing toward his apartment.
John reached into his pants pocket and removed his wounded camera. He looked upset since his camera was ruined.
“Angie won’t believe me now,” John said.
John got an idea, then ran to his computer desk and sat down. He turned on his Dell and waited impatiently while it booted up.
John ran to his coffee table and opened his book Outlaws and Lawmen of Arizona. He flipped to the page where he previously read about Clint and Elmer, looked at the short story on the page.
“Elmer Filson died on September 17th, eighteen eighty-three while he attempted to arrest Bart Stone, Charlie Chandler, and John Mathers, alias the Kissing Bandit, after they robbed the Oak Creek National bank. Bart, Charlie, and John slipped away, never to be found or tried for murder,” John read from the book.
John looked relieved when he felt safe and sound back in 2006. He finally admitted to himself that his outlaw ways were finally over. His cell phone on the coffee table rang, and it scared him and jumped a mile.
“Hello.”
“We need to talk about this outlaw thing,” Angie said from his cell phone.
The memory of Elmer’s lifeless head in the horse trough still filled John’s mind. “I’m sick. Can we do this tomorrow?”
John said, then disconnected his call.
John looked sick and then got the dry heaves. His eyes widened, and he ran down the hallway with a hand over his mouth.
In Angie’s apartment, she sat on her couch, pissed that John refused to talk.
Hours later, back in the Superstition Mountains, the sun started to drop to the west while Bart and Charlie walked down Dutchman’s Trail. They were exhausted from hours of hiking.
“Can we stop and spend the night? I can’t walk another foot,” Charlie sat down in the dirt.
Bart looked around the area. “Let’s go over there,” Bart said, pointing at a flat dirt area that seemed the most comfortable spot to lie down.
Charlie yawned and nodded in agreement.
“I sure am hungry,” Charlie said, then his stomach growled.
Bart’s stomach growled in agreement. “Get the fire going, and I’ll round up some grub,” Bart said.
Bart and Charlie walked off in separate directions.
A few minutes later, Charlie walked back with some tinder.
He heard a gunshot nearby while he removed a bullet from his cartridge belt.
A few minutes later, Bart returned with a dead rabbit in hand.
That night, John tossed and turned in bed with a nightmare. He dreamt Elmer’s ghost came to haunt him in 2006.
“Why did you let them kill me,” Elmer’s ghost would suddenly appear in John’s step-van while he delivered snacks.
John freaked out and drove his van towards some parked cars.
Then, at the same time, the van smashed into a car, and John jumped up on the bed from his nightmare in a cold sweat.
He lay in bed, afraid to fall asleep, as Elmer’s death haunted him. Thursday morning arrived, and John woke up. It was August 31st, 2006.
John got out of bed, showered, dressed, and then went into the kitchen and ate a bowl of Cocoa Krispies.
He felt better when he reminded himself that he didn’t kill Elmer; Bart did.
Back in the Superstition Mountains, Bart and Charlie woke up. They dusted the dirt off their pants and headed toward the tracks John’s horse left in the dirt.
They walked down Dutchman’s Trail and eventually entered the dirt parking lot. Since it was early in the morning, the lot was empty.
Bart and Charlie followed the tracks from John’s horse.
Then they walked upon the tire tracks from John’s horse trailer and F150. They looked at them and removed their cowboy hats. They both scratched their heads while they tried to figure out the tire tracks.
Bart knelt down and touched the tracks. “What kind of animal tracks are these?” he asked while feeling the tracks.
Charlie looked scared and whipped out his pistol, ready to shoot. “Are there two gigantic snakes around here?” Charlie quickly turned around and expected to see two huge snakes behind him.
“Naw. Snakes don’t travel side by side in a straight line.
But I’m sure it leads to Mathers,” Bart said while he stood up.
Bart followed John’s tire tracks. With his pistol aimed, Charlie walked behind him, nervous, ready to shoot a huge snake.
Bart and Charlie followed John’s tire tracks down the dirt road. Bart and Charlie followed John’s tire tracks to U.S. 60.
They looked bewildered when they saw a paved road for the first time.
“What is it, Bart?” Charlie asked while he tapped the road with the toe of his boot.
“I don’t know. Must be some kind of fancy stagecoach trail,” he said while he looked up and down the road.
Bart and Charlie got on their knees. They removed their hats, and they touched the road. They sniffed the road, and then they licked the road. They crawled to the right lane of the road with cowboy hats in hand and looked it over.
A souped-up 1969 Camaro raced down U.S. 60. The male driver, a thirty-year-old, listened to Foreigners’ Urgent song on the radio and didn’t pay attention to the road.
The driver glanced at the windshield and saw Bart and Charlie on their hands and knees on the road. His eyes widened in panic, and he slammed on his brakes and blew his horn. The Camaro’s tires screeched and smoked.
Bart and Charlie jumped up in a panic, turned around, and saw the Camaro as it screeched to a stop inches from their bodies.
The male driver rolled down his window and stuck his head out his window. “Get out of the road, dumbass!” the driver yelled at Bart and Charlie.
Bart got pissed, turned around, and whipped out his pistol.
Inside the Camaro, the driver’s eyes widened with fear when he saw Bart’s pistol aimed at his head. He got scared and stomped on the gas pedal. His Camaro screeched, and he turned it into the left lane and missed Bart and Charlie by inches.
The Camaro raced down the road in the left lane.
Bart turned around and fired his pistol at the Camaro while it raced down the road.
The back window of the Camaro shattered. The male driver pissed his pants and prayed silently he wouldn’t be killed.
Bart and Charlie watched while the Camaro raced down the road, becoming smaller and smaller.
“What was that thing?” Charlie asked.
“Some fancy stagecoach, I reckon?” Bart answered.
“With no horses? How can that be?” Charlie asked while he removed his hat and scratched his head, confused.
Bart dropped his pistol back in its holster. “I don’t know,”
he said.
“The Injuns would say, strange creatures,” Charlie said while he looked around, nervous about what might show up next. “The way I figure, Mathers is down that way,” Bart said, pointing toward Phoenix.
They walked down the road in that direction.
Meanwhile, back in 1883, in Oak Creek, Clint rode his horse into town weary and tired.
He rode closer to the bank and saw all the town folk across from the bank, and he wondered what was wrong.
He rode closer, and everybody saw Clint, and he looked worried.
“Here’s Marshal Bartley,” Ernie said. Then the crowd opened up, and Clint saw Elmer’s dead body in the dirt. He sped his horse up to the crowd and stopped, jumped off his horse, rushed over and knelt next to Elmer’s wet, dead body, and felt for a pulse. His eyes welled up.
Clint looked at Chester’s bloody, bandaged shoulder. He got furious. “Who did this, Chester?”
“Couldn’t say since Bart Stone, Charlie Chandler, and that kissing kid were all shootin. But I see the kissing kid aim and fire, and then I see Elmer drop dead. Maybe he shot Elmer.
Then, the kid ran off with the loot. Bart and Charlie chased him,” Chester replied.
“Which way did they go?” Clint asked.
“They headed south,” Winston replied.
“Somebody run and get Merijildo,” Clint said, determined to get Elmer’s killers.
Zeke ran to a nearby horse. He untied the reins from the hitching post.
He got in the saddle of his horse and raced off down the street.
Clint lifted Elmer’s body off the dirt.
He carried Elmer’s body down the street. Everybody followed sadly over the loss of Elmer.
Clint walked Elmer’s body to the Doctor’s office.
Later that day, Clint was in his office, staring at the wanted posters on a wall. He removed the wanted poster of John, Bart, and Charlie off the wall, folded it, and shoved it in his pocket.
The door opened, and Merijildo, a fifty-year-old Apache Indian, stepped inside. Merijildo had long black hair with some streaks of gray starting to show.
“Who do you want to track?” Merijildo asked Clint while he walked up to him.
Clint turned and saw Merijildo.
“Bart Stone, Charlie Chandler, and John Mathers. They killed Elmer and wounded Chester White”.
Merijildo looked sad. “Me, sorry about Elmer. He’s a good man,” Merijildo said. Then, he had a confident look. “We find them. No problem.”
“How’s that new baby?” Clint asked.
“Little Victorio, good boy, will be great tracker one day.
Like me,” said Merijildo with a puffed-up chest.
“How’s that young wife, Preeti? You old dog, you,” Clint said with a smile and a pat on the back, proud the old Indian still had it to snag a young woman.
Merijildo looked proud. “She good woman. I have a fancy photograph,” he said, then removed a picture from a pants pocket. The picture showed Merijildo holding little Victorio, a one-year-old, in his arms with his young bride, Preeti, in the desert.
Clint looked at the picture and smiled. “I had one of those fancy pictures taken of me two months ago,” Clint said while he walked over to his desk. He opened the middle drawer, removed the picture of him outside his Marshal’s office, and showed it to Merijildo, who smiled.
“Let’s go catch some outlaws,” Clint said, placing the picture back in the desk drawer and closing it.
Merijildo shoved his picture back into his pants pocket, or he thought he shoved it in his pants pocket. It dropped to the floor. Merijildo and Clint rushed out of the Marshal’s office.
Clint and Merijildo untied their horses from the hitching post outside the Marshal’s office. They got in the saddles of their horses and rode out of Oak Creek.
Oak Creek town folk saw Clint and Merijildo and smiled because they knew he was going after Elmer’s killer.
Hours later, Clint rode his horse while Merijildo walked his horse and followed Bart, Charlie, and John’s horse tracks to Miners Needle.
Merijildo stopped walking and looked at the horse tracks.
Clint stopped his horse and looked at Merijildo. Merijildo looked at Miners Needle and looked worried. Clint got out of the saddle of his horse when he saw.
Merijildo's worried look. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Tracks lead to a cave in Miner Needle,” Merijildo replied, pointing to Crazy Hole.
“Let’s get ’em,” Clint said, determined to arrest some outlaws.
He whipped out his pistol and walked to Crazy Hole. He got ten feet away, sensed Merijildo stayed behind and turned around to see Merijildo by the horses.
“You coming?” he asked.
Merijildo looked intimidated while he looked at Crazy Hole.
“I no go into Crazy Hole and come out loco,” Merijildo said and stepped back.
Clint looked at the cave. “So that’s Crazy Hole?” he asked.
Merijildo nodded his head in agreement.
“Aw, hogwash! I’m not scared,” Clint said, then walked to Crazy Hole.
Clint stepped inside Crazy Hole and noticed it was dark inside.
“Come on out, Bart, Charlie, and Kissing Bandit,” Clint yelled inside the cave, and his voice echoed. It was quiet inside the cave. Clint inched farther inside the cave. “You might as well give up,” Clint yelled again, and it echoed. It was still quiet inside the cave. Clint cautiously walked deeper into Crazy Hole and felt the side of the cave to guide him.
Clint felt the opening of the tunnel. He entered the tunnel, and suddenly, blue plasma light filled it. “Ahhhh!” Clint yelled out in pain as the blue light stung the hell out of him.
Clint rushed out of Crazy Hole in a panic. He looked back at the cave and wondered what just happened. He looked
around and saw the cut bush and the other bush that covered part of the cave opening. He thought that was weird.
He noticed Merijildo and the horses were gone and got pissed. “Don’t tell me that crazy Indian left with my horse?”
Clint said.
Clint looked around and sawhorses and boot tracks in the dirt. He walked off and followed the tracks.
Back in John’s apartment, he sat at his computer desk and typed at his Dell with a concerned look as he still had Elmer’s murder on his mind.
He waited for the search results from Yahoo, and then they soon appeared. He looked, and there was nothing in the findings of John Mathers being arrested for the murder of Elmer Filson or for being an outlaw.
He jumped up off his chair and raised his arms in the air.
“Yes! I’m free and clear!” he yelled while doing a dorky victory dance around his living room.
John stopped the second he remembered Angie. He looked at his cell phone on the coffee table, walked over to it, picked it up, took a deep breath, and made a call.
“Hello,” Angie answered from his cell phone.
“Angie. Are you ready for that talk?” John asked and hoped she would agree.
There was a long period of silence from his cell phone.
“Hello?” John asked.
John realized Angie had disconnected his call and looked worried. He survived being arrested for being an outlaw, but now his relationship with Angie was in danger.
Back on U.S. 60, Bart and Charlie walked down the road.
Charlie stopped and sat down on the edge of the road. “I’m not used to all this walking. My feet are killing me, and I can’t walk anymore,” he said while he removed his right boot and rubbed his filthy, dirty sock.
Bart looked around and saw the red ranch house with the red stable across the street. “Let’s go get us a ride,” he told Charlie, then pointed at the red stable.
Charlie turned around and saw the ranch house and stable, and nobody appeared home. He smiled while standing up, knowing he wouldn’t have to walk anymore.
Bart and Charlie rushed across the street toward the ranch house.
They climbed the white fence and ran to the stable.
They stood near the stable door. Bart peeked inside the stable, and the coast was clear. He motioned for Charlie to follow him.
Bart cautiously stepped inside the stable, and Charlie followed.
They cautiously walked down the stable and saw two horses they wanted to ride. They went inside the horse stalls and quickly installed some saddles.
They walked the horses out of the stalls.
They hopped in the saddles of their horses and rode out of the stable.
They exited the stable with the horses and galloped down the yard.
Inside the ranch house, Victor Lincoln, a forty-year-old Apache Indian with long black hair in a ponytail, watched TV.
Then, the sight of Bart and Charlie galloping his horses through the yard was visible from his living room window. He jumped up in a panic and ran to the front door.
Bart and Charlie galloped the horses down the yard and made them jump over the white fence.
Victor ran to the fenced yard. He quickly climbed the fence and then ran through the yard to the other section of the white fence, where Bart and Charlie’s horses jumped.
“Bring my horses back!” Victor screamed at Bart and Charlie while he ran to the fence.
Victor stopped at the white fence and watched Bart and Charlie gallop their horses away down U.S. 60 toward Apache Junction. He slammed his fist on the fence, pissed.
He ran back to his ranch house and called the police.
Clint followed John’s horse and Bart and Charlie’s boot tracks down Dutchman’s Trail in the Superstition Mountains.
He was about twenty feet from the dirt parking lot, with one parked car. Clint didn’t notice the car in the lot.
Then he heard footsteps behind him, and he got concerned. He turned around and whipped out his pistol at the same time. “I thought you left?” he told Merijildo.
Merijildo ran up to Clint. “You need help returning from the land of strange people and things.”
“Stop with that stupid Indian superstition!” Clint demanded, then put his pistol back in the holster.
“We see,” he said while he walked past Clint with a smirk.
Clint rolled his eyes over Merijildo’s comment.
Merijildo sensed something was wrong. He stopped and padded down his clothes, and then he looked sad. “I lost my fancy photo. Must have dropped it in Crazy Hole,” he said.
Clint walked up to him. “You can have another one made,” Clint said, then patted his back. “Let’s go catch some outlaws,” Clint said, walking off.
Merijildo walked away with Clint.
They walked to the dirt parking lot when a Toyota 4Runner drove up and parked.
Clint saw the car and stopped, and his jaw dropped in amazement at the sight of the 4Runner. “What is that thing? He asked, “Some creature?” he whipped out his pistol to protect himself.
“I tell you. Land of strange things,” Merijildo said while staring at the 4Runner.
The doors opened, and a man and woman in their late thirties got out in hiking outfits. They looked at Clint and Merijildo, who stared at them.
“Look at the dude dressed like an Indian,” the man told the woman. “How!” the man joked at Merijildo while he held up his hand. The man and woman chuckled and then walked towards the trails.
“How?” Clint asked, confused by the man’s comment. He leaned closer to Merijildo. “Did that creature spit out those folk?”
Merijildo looked at the 4Runner. “Me think it fancy stagecoach.”
Clint looked at Merijildo and then looked back at the 4Runner. “Could be.” “But without horses?” said Clint, bewildered by the fancy machine.
“We go,” Merijildo told Clint, and they walked away.
They walked down the dirt road, and Clint occasionally glanced back at the 4Runner to ensure that the creature wasn’t coming after them.
Later that Thursday and Clint and Merijildo eventually walked to U.S. 60.
Clint stopped when he saw the paved road. He looked bewildered at the sight of this strange sight.
He walked to the edge of the road and lightly kicked it with the toe of his boot. Merijildo watched while Clint knelt down and touched the road. "What is this?"
"Me say, strange things," Merijildo said then quickly reached down and grabbed the back of Clint's shirt. He pulled Clint up on his feet and moved his off the road.
"What are you doing?" Clint asked concerned.
A Honda Civic raced down the road with the boom, boom of the bass while the young driver listened to rap music. The Civic blew by Clint and Merijildo at seventy miles per hour.
Clint and Merijildo looked shocked at the sight of that Civic.
"Did you see how fast that stagecoach went? And without horses," Clint said amazed. "And what was that loud boom, boom sound?" Clint asked the looked up and down the road.
"And I thought I saw a young man inside it," Clint added.
"Don't know. Some type of stagecoach," Merijildo then he saw the pieces of broken window glass on the road.
Clint looked confused while he looked down the road at the Civic.
Merijildo looked at the pieces of broken glass in the road.
"They go that way," then pointed at the glass.
Clint looked at the direction he pointed.
They walked down the road and headed to Apache Junction.
Bart and Charlie rode their horses in the middle of the right lane into the outskirts of Apache Junction. They stopped and look around in awe and saw the Phoenix skyline off in the distance.
"I've never seen so many buildings. I don't recognize this place. Where are we?" Charlie asked while he looked around the area. Cars raced up and down the road, which startled them.
"I don't know. But now there are hundreds of those fancy stagecoaches, and they're fast," Bart said while he looked at all the cars in amazement.
"Are we in hell?" Charlie asked scared. “I don’t want to meet the devil,” he added shaking in his boots.
Bart looked around. "Could be," Bart said.
Charlie patted his body down and looked for bullet holes.
"I don't recall being shot or dying," Charlie said while he looked around. "Unless that's what that strange blue light was. Us dying," he added.
"I don't know. Come, let's get the bandit and give hell a little more hell," Bart said not afraid one bit of being in hell.
Bart rode his horse off down the street. Charlie followed and looked intimidated of the future.
Clint and Merijildo walked down U.S. 60 and walked near Victor's ranch house. A sheriff's car drove down the road at them. Clint and Merijildo watched while the sheriff's car pulled into Victor's driveway.
"Deputy Sheriff? That's a fancy stagecoach for a sheriff.
Where are we?" Clint asked.
"Arizona," Merijildo replied while they watched the deputy sheriff's car drive down Victor's driveway.
"This doesn't look like the Arizona I know. Where are we?" Clint asked and looked scared for the first time in his life.
"Arizona. We go ahead in time to future Arizona,"
Merijildo replied.
"What?" Clint asked not sure he heard him correctly.
"We go ahead in time," Merijildo said then walked down the road.
Clint looked at Merijildo baffled. He rushed up to him and grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.
"What did you say?"
"We go ahead in time, I say one hundred years," Merijildo said then walked down the road.
A Hughes 500 helicopter flew nine hundred feet above them.
He looked up, and saw the copter. He ducked down and whipped out his pistol and cautiously eyed the Hughes while it flew away. "Wow!" Clint said while he watched the Hughes copter wondering if it was some type of strange future dangerous bird.
Clint dropped his pistol back in his holster and ran after Merijildo.
Back in Apache Junction, Bart and Charlie rode their horses down a street. Cars whizzed by them while some blew their horn. Bart and Charlie got use to the new sights of the future.
A Greyhound Bus whizzed by them, blew its horn and that scared the hell them.
"We better git off this fancy trail," Bart said.
They stopped their horses, got out of the saddles and walked them to the sidewalk.
People looked gave them dirty looks while they walked their horses down the sidewalk.
A woman, about thirty-five years old and her daughter, about seven years old walked down the sidewalk and approached Bart and Charlie.
Bart and Charlie walked over to the woman and her daughter.
"Ma'am, do you know John Mathers?" Bart asked the mother.
The daughter sniffed the air and caught a whiff of body odor from Bart and Charlie. Her face cringed over that awful smell of body odor.
The mother had this overwhelming feeling that something wasn't right with Bart, so she rushed her daughter away.
"That man really stinks!" the daughter said with a pinched off nose while her mother whisked her away for safety.
Bart and Charlie walked their horses down the sidewalk.
Their eyes lit up when they saw a sexy thirty-year-old woman. She wore shorts that showed off her tanned legs and a top that revealed her 36D cleavage and her protruding nipples proved she wasn't wearing a bra.
Their eyes popped out in shock when they saw her revealing cleavage. They removed their hats, spat in the palm of their hands then smoothed out their hair.
"Ma'am, do you know John Mathers?" Charlie asked while he glared at her breasts.
The woman stopped. "No. I never heard of him," she replied and noticed Charlie while he gawked at her breasts. She felt uncomfortable with his horny stares.
Bart and Charlie continued to gawk at her breasts. Charlie removed a gold coin from his pocket. He grabbed her hand and placed the coin in her palm. He leaned over and whispered in her ear.
Her eyes widened in disgust and she kneed Charlie in his crotch.
Charlie doubled over in pain and dropped to his knees.
She stormed off down the sidewalk.
"No saloon girl ever did that before!" Charlie said while he held his crotch and doubled over in pain.
Bart chuckled at the sight of Charlie on his knees. Then he looked across the street and saw the Wild Cactus saloon with six Harley Davidson motorcycles parked outside.
"Get up off your knees. I'm thirsty," Bart ordered Charlie.
Charlie stood up and saw the Wild Cactus Saloon. He smiled, as some whiskey sure would hit the spot right now.
Bart and Charlie, with a limp, walked their horses off the sidewalk.
Bart and Charlie walked their horses across the street, heading to the saloon. Cars screeched to a stop and almost crashing into each other.
The Wild Cactus saloon was a small bar that was mainly used by the Devil's Cowboys motorcycle gang. All members were in their late thirties and wore the standard sleeveless jean jackets with a cartoon of the devil in a cowboy hat with "Devil's Cowboys MC" embroidered below it. All six gang members had their heads shaved and that cartoon tattooed on their right biceps and under it was their name.
The members of this gang were, Bear, Jesse, Billy, Ringo (named after the famous outlaw Johnny Ringo), Rufus, and Butch. They all took names after notorious outlaws, except for Bear. He had that name because he's a big man and he's the leader, and that's what he wanted. Since Bear was the leader, he was the only one allowed to have cell phone.
The Devil's Cowboys was a fairly new gang that Bear started ten years ago, as he didn't want to work for Corporate America. They made their money from petty crimes and have three girls they prostitute out once in a while when money was low. But their bark was worse than their bite, and they were always in the market for a new adventure.
Some of the Devil's Cowboys played pool while the other sat and drank beer while they watched the thirty-inch HDTV
that hung behind the bar.
A lonely man, seventy-four years old, drank beer alone at a table off against the wall.
After they tied their horses to a light pole, Bart and Charlie entered the Wild Cactus.
It was quiet while the entire Devil's Cowboys watched as Bart and Charlie entered the saloon, walked over and sat down at the bar.
Bart and Charlie looked around the saloon. Then they saw the TV behind the bar and stared at it in disbelief.
"Bart, look at that box up on the wall with that window.
How did those people get inside?"
Bart looked at the TV and tried to figure out an answer.
"Maybe that's your punishment for pissing off the Devil!" he said. Charlie nervously looked around the bar. "I hope the devil doesn't come in here. I don't want to end up in that box and have people stare at me," he said.
Jake the bartender, seventy years old with tattoos all over his arms, long gray hair in a ponytail and beard walked up to Bart and Charlie.
"Bottle of whiskey," Bart told Jake.
"Is Jack Daniels, okay?" Jake asked.
"I guess so. As long as it's whiskey," Bart replied.
Jake walked down the bar and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels from behind the bar along with two shot glasses.
He walked back to Bart and Charlie. He laid the bottle and glasses on the bar.
Bart removed an 1880 silver dollar from his pocket and set it on the bar.
Jake picked up the silver dollar, and he saw the date. He noticed the coin was in mint condition. Jake smiled and shoved the coin in his pocket. He planned to sell this coin at the nearest coin shop and make a nice little profit.
Bart looked at the Devil's Cowboys. "I'm looking for John Mathers alias the Kissing Bandit. Have you seen him?" Bart asked them.
The Devil's Cowboys ignored Bart.
"There's a John Mathers that supplies the bar with snacks,"
Jake said.
"Do you know where I can find him?" Bart said with a smile that he's closing in on John.
"He works for the Western Snacks and Vending Company.
It's located ten blocks straight down the street," the bartender replied and pointed in the direction of where John's company was located.
Bart and Charlie looked where he pointed.
Bart poured two shots of whiskey.
Bear got up from his table with his beer bottle in hand. He walked over and sat down by Bart to intimidate him.
Bear's legal name was Harold Thomas hence why he insists he's called Bear. He's a big pot-bellied man about forty-five years old, and his arms were full of tattoos. Jake was Bear's father, and that's why the Devil's Cowboys hung out at this bar.
Bart eyed the tattoos on Bear's arms, and he got curious and touched one.
Bear got pissed. "You want to kiss me next?"
Bart got pissed and whipped out his pistol from his holster.
He shoved the barrel in Bear's mouth.
"I hate bad mouth scoundrels with Indian drawings on their body," Bart growled at Bear.
Bear looked cross-eyed at the barrel shoved in his mouth.
He silently prayed that he couldn't be killed.
"Sorry," Bear said with a muffled sound.
Bart removed his pistol out of Bear's mouth and dropped it in his holster.
Bear looked relieved. Behind them, that lonely man walked by them and headed to the bathroom.
"Is this Hell?" Bart asked Bear.
Bear chuckled. "It gets hot as hell sometimes, but no, it's Phoenix," he said.
"Eighteen eighty-three Phoenix?" Charlie asked.
Bear looked a little surprised Charlie asked that question.
He used his fingers to do some counting. "No. Like over one hundred years later, Phoenix," Bear replied, as he couldn't perform the math in his head or with the use of his fingers.
Bart and Charlie looked at each other, and then it dawned on them!
"We're in the future?" Bart and Charlie said at the same time then gulped down their shots of whiskey. They looked around the bar and thought the future was cool.
Bart and Charlie place their glasses on the bar and Charlie poured two more shots.
"I'm Bart Stone, and he's Charlie Chandler," Bart told Bear.
"I'm Bear, leader of the Devil's Cowboys gang," he replied.
"Devil's Cowboys. I like that name," Bart said.
"Bartender, where's the outhouse?" Charlie asked.
The Devil's Cowboys laughed at Charlie.
"It's over there," Jake said then pointed to the bathrooms at the end of the bar.
Bart and Charlie got up and all eyes in the bar were on them while they walked in that direction.
Bart and Charlie entered the men's room and saw the urinals.
The lonely old man stood at the urinal.
Bart and Charlie saw him and walked over curious. They each stood by the man's side and peeked inside the urinal. The man got extremely uncomfortable. He rushed his business then quickly zipped up his pants, flushed then raced out of the bathroom.
Charlie stared at the urinal. He touched the handle.
"Watch this Bart!" Charlie said then flushed the toilet.
"Yeehaw!" Charlie yelled out. "Ain't this some fancy outhouse?"
Charlie said.
Bart laughed while Charlie continued to flush the urinal numerous times.
They stopped and they relieved themselves in the urinals.
"Ain't this something? We don't have to pee in the dirt," Charlie said. All eyes were on Bart and Charlie when they came out of the bathroom and walked back to the bar.
"Bartender, two bottles of whiskey for my new friends here," Bart said then reached in his pocket and set two silver dollars on the bar.
All the Devil's Cowboys jumped and cheered. They all rushed over to Bart and Charlie.
It was sunset and Clint and Merijildo stood at the outskirts of Apache Junction. Clint looked lost, yet in awe at the sight of the modern city.
Cars whizzed up and down the road by them.
"Look at all the fancy buildings," Clint said.
"The future look fun," Merijildo added impressed with what he saw.
"Which way do you think they went?" Clint asked.
Merijildo looked down at the road and saw some remnants of dirt horse tracks on the road. "They go that way," he said and pointed down the street.
Back at the Wild Cactus saloon, Bart and Charlie were arm in arm with the Devil's Cowboys all drunk.
"De Camptown Ladies sing this song, Doo-da, Doo-da,"
they all sang.
They stopped and Bear raised his beer bottle in the air. "I at this moment proclaim to hold votes later on our time traveling friends, Bart Stone and Charlie Chandler, on becoming members of the best gang in all the world!" he yelled out.
All the Devil's Cowboys cheered in agreement. Then they all took a drink from their beer bottles.
"De Camptown racetrack's five miles long, Oh, de doo-da day," they sang out loud.
Back in John's apartment, he stared at the TV while he watched the Comedy Central channel. For the first time in years, he didn't have the stomach to watch an old western movie. He looked depressed, as he wanted to make up with Angie.
He turned off the TV and got off the couch, walked down the hallway to his bedroom.
He walked to the door and wore sneakers instead of cowboy boots then left his apartment.
John drove his Mustang to a nearby Circle K. He went inside and bought a dozen red roses.
John got back inside his Mustang and drove away.
He drove to Angie's apartment, complex, and parked. He was nervous when he walked to Angie's apartment building, which was visible from the lot.
John walked and stood by her apartment door. He knocked on her door. The door opened and Angie appeared. John handed Angie the dozen of roses.
"I'm so sorry, Angie. I'm done with this outlaw stuff," he said with a serious look.
"Okay, let's talk," Angie said and let John in her apartment.
Back at the Wild Cactus Saloon, Bart and Charlie exited drunk. They walked over to the light poles and untied their horses, and got in their saddles. Bart removed his pistol from his holster. He raised it in air and fired off a shot.
People on the sidewalk ducked and ran for cover. A man with a video camera saw this as an opportunity and filmed Bart and Charlie.
"Yeehaw! Kissing Bandit! We're coming to kill ya!" Bart yelled out then he fired his pistol in the air again.
Charlie fired his pistol in the air.
People hugged the sidewalk for protection from the gunfire.
The Devil's Cowboys watched from the windows of the Wild Cactus Saloon, and they looked proud of Bart and Charlie.
Bart and Charlie rode their horses down the street. They weaved in and around the cars that were stopped because of the gunfire.
They rode alongside a Nissan Quest mini-van.
In the backseat of the van, a boy, seven years old wore a cowboy outfit with a cap gun. The boy's eyes widened when he saw Bart and Charlie. He aimed his cap pistol at them. "Bang!
Bang! Shoot the bad guys," the boy said.
His mother turned around smiled, as she thought it was cute when he pretended to be the old western Marshal.
Bart and Charlie rode their horses ten blocks down the street.
They rode into the empty parking lot of the Western Snacks and Vending Company, and they rode their horses to the front entrance. They got out of their saddles and tied the reins to a small tree by the front glass door.
Bart and Charlie walked to the front door. Bart tried to open it, but it was locked.
"The door is broken," Charlie said.
Bart peeked in the glass door and saw the inside was dark and void of people.
"The place is empty inside. They're closed," Bart said.
"We'll try first thing in the morning again," Bart added.
"Good, I'm tired anyway," Charlie said and yawned.
"Where can we sleep?" Charlie added.
Bart looked around. "We'll camp at the back of this building. We'll get the Kissing Bandit first thing in the morning," he said.
They untied their horses and walked them down the side then to the rear of the building. There were the snack semi-vans parked.
They saw a dumpster and tied their horses to it. Charlie's stomach growled. "I'm starving, Bart."
Bart looked at the dumpster and something seemed interesting. He walked over and opened up the lid, peeked inside, and smiled. He reached inside and removed a box that had assorted packages of vending machine snacks that have passed the expiration dates.
They sat down by the building and had a feast of stale honey buns, potato chips, peanut butter crackers and peanuts.
It was nighttime when Clint and Merijildo walked up to the Wild Cactus Saloon. Merijildo stopped and sniffed the air while he looked around. Clint walked up to him.
"They were here," Merijildo said.
"How can you tell? This place has strange smells," Clint said. "Horse turds," Merijildo said and pointed to the light pole where two piles of horse poop were on the sidewalk.
Clint saw the turds. "That's why you're a famous tracker,"
he said in a jokingly manner. He looked at the Wild Cactus Saloon. "Knowing Bart's love for whiskey, they probably went in there," Clint said.
They entered the saloon.
The Devil's Cowboys got instantly quiet when they saw Clint and Merijildo enter the bar. They placed their beers on
their tables and watched them walk to the bar. They noticed Clint's Marshal's badge and got very suspicious.
Clint and Merijildo looked at the Devil's Cowboys while they sat down at the bar.
"What strange tribe are they? Me never hear of a tribe that looks like that," Merijildo asked Clint.
"I don't know, but they do look scary," Clint replied while he glanced at the Devil's Cowboys. "I don't trust them," Clint added.
They saw the TV behind the bar, and Clint pointed at it in amazement. "Look how small those people are in that little box," he said.
Merijildo looked at the TV in amazement. Then he wondered how the future should make people so small and why would we want to watch their lives.
Jake walked up to them.
"I'm Marshal Bartley, and I'm looking for Bart Stone, Charlie Chandler, and John Mathers, who calls himself the Kissing Bandit," Clint asked.
"Never heard of them," Jake replied without any hesitation.
Jake left and went inside a back room behind the bar. Clint turned around and looked at the Devil's Cowboys. "Do any of you know," Clint started to ask.
"No!" Bear yelled out interrupting Clint.
Clint felt threatened and elbowed Merijildo that they should leave. He nodded that he agreed and they both got off the bar stools.
The Devil's Cowboys watched while Clint and Merijildo left the bar.
Outside the saloon, Clint and Merijildo looked around the area. "I have a strong hunch that Bart and Charlie will come back in the morning," Clint said.
"We find a camp to sleep," Merijildo said.
They looked around the area for a safe place to bed down for the night.
In John's apartment, he started to remove some of his old western items off the wall. He placed them in a box and hoped to sell them at an antique store.
He looked at the rest of the items and decided to finish the rest at a later day. His talk with Angie smoothed things over and he swore that his old western outlaw fascination days were finally over. Of course, he didn't tell her about the death of Elmer Filson.
Hours later behind the Western Snacks and Vending Company, Bart and Charlie slept on cardboard boxes they flattened.
In an empty lot behind the Wild Cactus Saloon, Clint and Merijildo slept in the dirt.
John lay in bed and stared at the ceiling of his apartment.
He looked at the cloth bag that still contained the stolen loot from the Oak Creek bank. He decided he would take care of that in the morning, then closed his eyes and fell asleep.
The sun rose up from the east. It’s Friday, September 1st, 2006.
John woke up early and took a shower. Afterward, he ate his standard bowl of Cocoa Krispies. After getting dressed in his Western Snacks and Vending Company shirt, he grabbed the loot bag and left his apartment.
John rushed to his Mustang in his apartment parking lot and drove off.
John drove straight to the nearest coin shop and went inside with his loot bag.
In the empty lot behind the Wild Cactus Saloon, Clint and Merijildo woke up. They walked to the front of the saloon and didn’t see any horses.
Clint’s stomach growled. “Let’s get some grub,” he told Merijildo, and he agreed.
Clint looked down the street and saw Martha’s Country Kitchen restaurant down the street. And farther down the street past the restaurant was a library.
“There’s a place to eat,” Clint said, pointing at Martha’s place.
He walked off in that direction.
Behind the Western Snacks and Vending Company building, Bart woke to the sound of cars while they parked in the parking lot. He got up and stretched, lightly kicked Charlie in his butt cheeks.
Charlie woke, got up, and stretched.
They wore their cowboy hats and walked around to the front of the building. Bart pulled on the front door handle, and it opened. “Let’s get the bastard,” he told Charlie who grinned at the thought of getting their loot.
Bart and Charlie entered the foyer where Kim was the receptionist behind a desk. She saw Bart and Charlie. “May I help you?” she asked, then cringed as she caught a strong whiff of body odor.
“Yes, Ma’am,” Bart said, then removed his cowboy hat. He noticed Charlie kept his hat on and swatted it off Charlie’s head.
“Where’re your manners?” he scolded Charlie, who chased after his hat and picked it off the floor.
“We want to see John Mathers,” Bart told her.
“I don’t believe he has shown up for work yet,” she said.
“Would you know where he lives? It’s important we see him,” Bart said.
“No, but his girlfriend Angie Dawson does. One minute, please,” she said, then picked up her phone and pressed a number.
“Angie, I have two men looking for John. They said it’s important,” she said over into the phone.
“I’ll be right out,” Angie replied from the phone.
The receptionist hung up the phone. “Angie Dawson will be out in a minute. She can help you,” she said.
Bart and Charlie paced in the foyer while they waited.
Angie entered from a side door and saw Bart and Charlie.
She was disgusted at seeing them, as they reminded her of John.
Charlie glanced at Angie and got horny, as it’s been six months since he’s been with a saloon gal.
Outside, John pulled his Mustang into the parking lot of the Western Snacks and Vending Company building. He was ready to resume his life and prepared to forget about his outlaw ways. Angie looked at Bart and Charlie. “Are you fellow outlaw geeks like John?” she asked then cringed when the strong whiff of body odor hit her nose.
“We’re old friends of John if that’s what you mean. So, do you know where he lives? We want to surprise him!” Bart grinned.
“Yeah, surprise him,” Charlie added with a smirk.
“Whatever,” Angie said then walked over to the receptionist’s desk and grabbed a piece of paper and pen. She wrote down John’s address for Bart.
From outside, John left his Mustang and walked to the front door.
“Here’s John’s address,” Angie said, then added Bart to the paper.
Bart looked at it. “Thank you, ma-am. And remember, don’t tell John you saw us. We want to surprise him,” Bart said then shoved the paper in his shirt pocket.
Angie looked at the front door and saw John outside.
“There’s no need, John’s outside the front door,” she told Bart and Charlie.
John placed his hand on the door from outside at the entrance. He started to open the door and then spotted Bart and Charlie inside the foyer with Angie. John stared for a few seconds to make sure he wasn’t having a hallucination. He realized it was real, and they tracked him to the future. “Crap!”
John screamed in his head, turned around, and ran back to his Mustang.
Inside the building, Bart and Charlie got pissed when they saw John run away.
Angie watched while Bart and Charlie ran out of the front door.
“I hope you boys have fun playing cowboys and outlaws,”
Angie teased and shook her head in disgust, realizing John wasn’t done with his stupid outlaw obsession.
“Boy, did they stink,” said the receptionist.
“I know,” replied Angie.
“What was that about?” the receptionist asked Angie.
“Men who refuse to grow up,” Angie replied.
A man poked his head out of the side door. “Angie, tell Richard somebody tied two horses to the dumpster out back,”
he said, closing the door.
Angie left.
Bart and Charlie stood outside at the front door, scanning the area for John. They saw him and watched John run to his Mustang, get inside, and start it up.
Bart and Charlie ran to the back of the building to their horses. They untied them from the dumpster and got in their saddles.
They galloped their horses away, down the side of the building and then to the front of the building.
John screeched his Mustang onto the street, leaving rubber and smoke, and raced away.
Bart and Charlie galloped their horses to the parking lot.
They saw John’s Mustang while he raced down the street.
They galloped after him, and cars screeched to a stop while their horses ran out in front of them.
John raced his Mustang in fear of the two outlaws. He thought he was free and clear in 2006, but he thought wrong and was now being hunted. John glanced at his rearview mirror and saw Bart and Charlie on horses galloping after him.
He made a right turn down another street.
John looked in his rearview mirror and saw Bart and Charlie while they made the same turn and were still after him.
John looked forward, and his eyes widened when he saw that traffic had stopped. He screeched on his brakes and came to a stop behind the traffic.
John looked in his rearview mirror and saw Bart and Charlie gaining ground. He looked over to his right and decided that was his only choice.
He turned to the right and headed to the sidewalk.
People dove for cover while John drove his Mustang down the sidewalk.
People watched while Bart and Charlie raced their horses on the sidewalk after John.
John drove his Mustang into a newsstand; newspapers, magazines, candy, and snacks flew everywhere like a bomb exploded.
John drove his Mustang off the sidewalk with people diving for safety.
He drove off the sidewalk and down another street.
Clint and Merijildo finished their eggs and bacon breakfast with hot coffee at Martha’s Country Kitchen. People stared at the two and wondered why they were dressed like cowboys and Indians. Some came up with the theory Hollywood was in town to make a western movie.
The waitress brought them their check. “You can pay me or at the register,” she told them.
Clint looked at the check.
He reached in his shirt pocket and removed six silver dollars.
He handed them to the waitress.
She looked at the coins, and her eyes popped out when she saw their dates and mint condition.
“I’ll take care of this,” she told them then walked away with a smirk. The waitress discreetly pocketed the coins and decided to pay for their meal herself. She knew these coins were worth a lot more than the price of their meal.
Clint and Merijildo walked out of the restaurant.
John raced his Mustang down another street where traffic got thick. He glanced at his rearview mirror and saw Bart and Charlie still hot on his tail.
Bart and Charlie closing in on the Mustang. They both whipped out their pistols and aimed, firing at the Mustang.
Bullets penetrated the back of the Mustang. Then, a bullet shattered one of the taillights.
John’s Mustang screeched a left turn and raced down another street.
Bart and Charlie galloped a left turn on their horses and chased after John.
Police sirens were heard way off a few streets over.
Two police cars raced down the street and screeched a turn on the street the chase pursued.
The two police cars raced after Bart and Charlie’s horses and raced up behind them.
“Pull over!” the lead police officer called out from his loudspeaker.
Bart and Charlie turned around and saw the police car closing on them.
“They don’t look friendly, Bart,” Charlie said, intimidated.
They look like the law,” Bart responded.
Bart and Charlie both fired their pistols at the police car. A bullet penetrated the radiator, and another one penetrated the hood. Bart and Charlie fired again at the police car.
Another bullet penetrated the hood while another one hit the windshield. The hood to the police car flew up and blocked the driver’s view. The police car swerved, clipped a parked car, and flipped in the air.
“How will I write up this report?” the police officer thought while his car was upside down in the air.
The second police car continued the chase.
The airborne police car crashed on top of the second police car.
People watched from the sidewalk while the two crashed police cars veered toward some parked cars. They ran for cover while the police cars crashed into the parked cars.
Bart and Charlie stopped their horses and looked in awe at the mangled wreckage.
“Wow!” Charlie cried out.
They turned around and saw John’s Mustang was gone, and Bart got pissed.
“Let’s see if the Devil’s Cowboys can help us. Make our gang bigger like we planned back home,” Bart offered.
Bart saw a man walk down the sidewalk.
“Where’s the Wild Cactus Saloon from here?” he asked the man.
“Down two streets. Turn left and head down there for another three streets then turn right. It will be down that street,” the man replied, afraid he might get shot, and then pointed in the direction they should ride.
“Thanks, partner,” Bart said, then tipped his hat.
Bart and Charlie galloped their horses down the street where the man pointed.
Outside the Wild Cactus Saloon, Clint and Merijildo paced down the sidewalk. Clint hoped Bart, Charlie, and John would soon show up. The saloon looked empty as the Devil’s Cowboys hadn’t arrived yet.
Mel Lincoln walked down the sidewalk heading to the library.
Clint saw Mel while he walked in their direction.
Merijildo saw Mel and had a robust strange feeling about him. Clint noticed Merijildo’s peculiar look. “What’s the matter?” Clint asked as he thought maybe his breakfast didn’t agree with him and might barf.
“Me know him,” Merijildo replied while he stared at Mel.
Mel Lincoln saw Merijildo and smiled.
“Excuse me. We’re looking for an outlaw called the Kissing Bandit. His real name is John Mathers,” Clint addressed Mel.
Mel Lincoln heard Clint, but he studied Merijildo over and had a strange feeling he knew him.
“Oh yeah, John Mathers. Young kids always want to hear stories about the Old West. He recently wanted to know about the location of Crazy Hole,” Mel said.
Merijildo’s eyes lit up as he knew that the Apache Indians used the name Crazy Hole.
“Do you know where he lives?” Clint asked.
“No. He just visits me at the library,” Mel replied.
“Thank you,” Clint said, and then they watched while Mel walked away.
Clint and Merijildo watched while Mel walked down the sidewalk.
Down and across the street, unbeknownst to Clint and Merijildo, Bart and Charlie walked their horses down the sidewalk.
“We better ditch these horses,” Bart said while he glanced at the stares everybody gave him.
“How will we get around to catch the Bandit?” Charlie asked.
Bart looked down the street and saw the Wild Cactus Saloon. “We’ll wait until our friends show up. They’ll help,” Bart stated. “They have faster horses than what we have.”
Charlie smiled.
Bart shooed the horses away.
They ran down the sidewalk with people moving out of the way of the horses.
Across the street, Mel was walking twenty feet from the saloon when that strange feeling became extremely strong. He removed his wallet, opened it, and removed an old, faded, laminated photo.
It was the same photo Merijildo had back in 1883 that he thought he had lost in Crazy Hole. But accidentally dropped it on the Marshal’s Office floor.
A tear ran down Mel’s cheek. “Great Grandfather!” he smiled while turning around and glancing back at Merijildo.
Then, the same strange feeling came over Merijildo, and he looked back at Mel.
“What’s the matter?” Clint asked when he noticed Merijildo.
“Me have strange feeling me know that old man,” Merijildo said. Clint glanced at Mel, and then he saw something across the street, and his eyes widened with hatred. “You’re under arrest Bart Stone and Charlie Chandler!” he yelled.
Merijildo looked across the street and saw Bart and Charlie on the sidewalk.
Across the street, Bart and Charlie stood on the sidewalk behind a parked car with pistols aimed. Bart and Charlie fired shots at Clint.
People on the sidewalks on both sides of the street scattered for safe cover.
Clint ducked behind a parked car, whipped out his pistol, and aimed over the car’s hood. He fired a shot at Bart and Charlie. Then, he felt something wasn’t right, and he glanced over and saw Merijildo on the sidewalk in pain. Merijildo was shot, and Clint got pissed and aimed, then fired another shot at Bart and Charlie.
Across the street in a coffee house, a table full of yuppies drank Latte’s. A bullet shattered the coffee shop window, and the yuppies all screamed. Most dropped their lattes on the table and floor, but one dropped his Latte in his lap. They ran to the rear of the shop in a girlish panic.
Back outside, Clint peeked over the hood of the car he ducked behind. “You’re under arrest for killing Elmer,” Clint yelled out.
“Mathers shot and killed him, not us,” Bart yelled back.
Bart and Charlie aimed their pistol from the hood of the car. They both fired shots at Clint and then ducked behind the car. “Where’s that kissing bandit kid?” Clint yelled then he took aim and fired a shot over the hood of the car.
“Don’t know. But when we find him, he’s dead,” Bart yelled.
“Yeah, he stole our loot,” Charlie added.
“The money was never yours. It belonged to the people of Oak Creek,” Clint yelled.
Bart and Charlie took aim from over the hood of that car and then heard police sirens. They ducked down by the fender.
“It’s those future lawmen, Bart,” Charlie worried.
“We better git, they might be pissed for us shooting at their fancy stagecoach,” Bart said.
Bart peeked over the hood of the car. “Now!” he told Charlie.
They stood up and fired their pistols at Clint then ran down the sidewalk.
Bullets penetrated the front fender of the car Clint hid behind.
Bart and Charlie jumped over people who lay on the sidewalk for protection while they ran away.
Clint peeked over the fender and saw Bart and Charlie while they ran away.
He glanced over and saw Merijildo unconscious on the sidewalk; he rushed to his side, where he saw blood oozing from Merijildo’s left shoulder. Clint got concerned and felt Merijildo’s neck for a pulse and got relieved.
Mel ran over to Clint and Merijildo, worried his great-grandfather was dead. “Is he okay?” Mel asked Clint.
“He passed out,” Clint said.
“Good. I thought my great-grandfather was dead,” Mel said. His comment went over Clint’s head at first, and then it dawned on him what he had said. “What did you say?” Clint asked to make sure he understood Mel.
“I said, I thought my great grandfather was dead,” Mel repeated.
“You’re a great-grandfather?” Clint asked.
“Yes, my name is Mel Lincoln,” he said. Then, he removed his wallet and showed Clint the faded laminated photo that Merijildo had recently shown him back in 1883.
Clint looked amazed at the picture. “He thought he lost it in Crazy Hole. Guess he didn’t,” Clint said.
“I figured you might have come from there,” he said, looking down at Merijildo and smiling.
Farther down the street, Bart and Charlie ran down the sidewalk. Then they heard the sound of six Harleys. They looked and saw Bear lead the other Devil’s Cowboys riding down the street heading to the Wild Cactus Saloon on their Harleys.
Bart and Charlie ran out in the street and waved Bear down.
Bear and the rest of the Devil’s Cowboys stopped his Harley.
“Get us out of here. We had some trouble back there with a Marshal that’s after us,” Bart said.
“Hop on,” Bear told Bart and Charlie.
Bart looked at the Harley and looked a little hesitant. He got on the back of Bear’s Harley while Charlie got on the back of Jesse’s Harley.
“We voted you in. You’re now official members of the Devil’s Cowboys,” Bear told Bart.
“Good, now get us the hell out of here,” Bart said.
The Devil’s Cowboys turned their Harleys around and raced off in the opposite direction.
“Does time travel hurt?” Bear asked Bart while they drove down the street.
“It stings for a little bit,” Bart replied.
Bear looked like he had a scheme in mind while they drove down the street. Bart and Charlie hung on a little scared.
Back at the Wild Cactus Saloon, two police cars screeched to a stop. Four police officers jumped out of their cars. They got their pistols out of their holsters and cautiously walked over to Clint with pistols aimed.
“Put your gun down and lie down on the ground with your hands behind your back!” one police officer yelled.
Clint obeyed the officer’s orders. “I’m the Marshal from Oak Creek. I’m here to arrest the Kissing Bandit, Bart Stone, and Charlie Chandler for murder,” Clint informed while on his stomach.
The police officer kept his pistol aimed at Clint while his partner handcuffed Clint. Another officer picked up Clint’s pistol from the sidewalk.
Another police officer saw Merijildo unconscious with a bloody shoulder.
“We need an ambulance at the Wild Cactus Saloon,” the officer said into his radio microphone.
Clint looked worried while one of the officers pulled him up on his feet.
Five minutes had passed, and Channel 5 News Reporter Tony Martinez stood with a microphone before a cameraman.
Behind him, two police officers put Clint in the back of a police car.
From inside the police car, Clint looked around and saw the ambulance nearby.
Merijildo lay on a gurney as two EMTs loaded him into the back of an ambulance. Mel stepped on the rear bumper of the ambulance. The EMT stopped him.
“I’m his great-grandson,” Mel told the EMTs.
The EMT allowed Mel inside the back of the ambulance.
Then it dawned on one of the EMTs what Mel had just said.
“Did he say great-grandson?” he asked the other EMT.
“That’s what he said. The old geezer must be confused,”
the other EMT replied.
They closed the rear door, walked to the front, and entered.
The ambulance siren blared while it drove off down the street.
It’s later that Friday.
Alone and scared from being chased, John slouched on a barstool at the Outlaw Steakhouse. He rubbed his forehead with his cold, wet beer bottle.
Behind the bar hung four thirty-inch HDTVs from the ceiling that gave all the patrons at the bar something to watch.
John watched the Channel 5 news from the nearest TV.
Then, on one of the TVs, Channel News Reporter Tony Martinez reported from outside the Wild Cactus Saloon. It was a recording as presented by the News Anchor Leah Anthony.
John sipped his beer while he watched the TV.
“We have a report on three recent shooting incidents in Apache Junction. The first involved two cowboys firing their pistols in the air outside the Wild Cactus Saloon. The second one involved those two cowboys on horses chasing a Ford Mustang. The third one involved the same cowboys in a gun battle outside the Wild Cactus Saloon. They were shooting at a Clint Bartley, who claimed to be a Marshal. Injured in the gunfight was an Apache Indian. Witnesses stated that during the first incident, one of these cowboys wanted to kill someone called the Kissing Bandit. The police are reviewing amateur video taken from the Saloon shooting to identify the two cowboys. The Marshal was arrested, and the injured Indian was taken to St. Joseph’s Hospital,” Tony Martinez said on the TV.
John was drinking his beer when his cell phone rang. It startled him, and he jumped, and beer poured on him. He answered his cell phone.
“Angie?” John answered
“No, it’s Richard, your boss,” he replied from John’s cell.
John sat straight up on his bar stool.
“Yes, sir,” John said.
“It’s like this. You didn’t show up for work today and didn’t call. It was nice to allow you to take a few days off this week without the proper advanced notice. You’re fired. Turn in your uniform and truck keys immediately,” Richard informed him, then disconnected the end of his phone call.
John looked devastated, then mad as he put his cell away.
He glanced at the TV and saw an amateur video of Bart and Charlie on their horses outside the Wild Cactus Saloon.
“Yeehaw! Kissing Bandit! We’re coming to kill ya!” Bart yelled out, and then he fired his pistol in the air again as what was recorded on the amateur video. Then the video zoomed in on Bart, and half of a right ear was visible.
“Crap!” John screamed out, then threw his beer bottle behind the bar. It smashed into some booze bottles on some glass shelves, which also shattered. There was silence in the bar while all eyes were on John.
The bartender got furious when he saw the smashed glass shelves.
John cringed when realizing he was in deep trouble.
The manager of the steak house rushed over to the bar and saw the damage.
The bartender and the manager rushed over to John. They each grabbed an arm and snatched him off his bar stool.
They escorted John to the front doors.
The manager opened one of the front doors, and they tossed John outside, where he landed on his butt.
“Never come back to this establishment!” the manager yelled.
They went back to the restaurant.
John got up and walked to his parked Mustang.
He saw the bullet holes in the trunk area and a shattered taillight. He got inside his Mustang and started it up. Then, his eyes welled up while his life started falling apart.
At his ranch house, Rusty watched TV and saw the news report with Tony Martinez. He thought Bart and Charlie looked familiar but couldn’t place a finger on it, so he shrugged it off.
John drove a 2000 brown Toyota Corolla out of Albert’s Used Car lot an hour later. He sold his Mustang and then used some cash to buy the Corolla.
He drove off down the street.
John drove straight to Angie’s apartment complex, parked his car, and walked to her apartment. After a deep breath, a knock on her door came.
The door opened, and Angie appeared.
“Can we talk?” John begged.
Angie debated in her mind if she should let him inside.
“Okay,” she said but was still angry with John.
John entered, and they walked over and sat down on the couch. She had a forty-two-inch HDTV in a beautiful entertainment center against the wall.
Angie looked at John. “All I wanted was a relationship and maybe marriage, but your behavior has been too much to bear,”
she confessed.
“I know, and there will be no more outlaw stuff. I promise!” John said, and his eyes showed he was serious.
Angie’s anger melted away when she felt he was serious.
She hugged him.
“So, who were those two guys dressed like cowboys this morning?” Angie asked curiously.
John glanced at the TV, and his eyes widened in shock when he saw Tony Martinez in front of a police station. Behind him, two police officers escorted Clint to the station.
“One of the cowboys was arrested from the earlier gun battle at the Wild Cactus Saloon. His name is Clint Bartley, and he claims to be a Marshal wanting to arrest a John Mathers, alias the Kissing Bandit, for murder,” Tony said on TV.
John got up pale and broke out in a cold sweat. Angie watched while he paced around the room.
Then, on TV, Channel 5 replayed Bart’s video. “Yeehaw!
Kissing Bandit! We’re coming to kill ya!” Bart yelled out, and then he fired his pistol in the air.
Angie stared in shock at the sight of Bart and Charlie on the TV.
“Those were those two guys looking for you at the office,”
Angie said.
“Can I stay here?” John asked.
“What’s wrong with your place?” Angie replied.
“You gave my address to those outlaws who want to kill me. Now a Marshal wants to arrest me, the Kissing Bandit, for murder. I could hang for that in eighteen eighty-three if he drags me back there.”
“Kissing what?” she asked, unsure she heard him correctly.
“The Kissing Bandit. I kissed a girl when I left a robbery,”
John said, then cringed when it dawned on him he should have kept his mouth shut.
Angie woke with fire in her eyes, storming over to John.
She slapped his face hard, leaving her left her handprint.
“Get out!” she screamed and pointed to her door.
“But they want to kill me!” John replied with fear in his eyes. She slapped John again. “Get out and never come back!”
she screamed again.
John moped to the door, and then he looked back at Angie.
She plopped down on the couch and sobbed.
He left with a feeling his life was over and figured he would be dead by sundown.
That night, John drove around town, too scared to return to his apartment. He didn’t know if Bart and Charlie waited for him there and didn’t want to take that risk.
Bart and Charlie hung out at the house of the Devil’s Cowboys located at the northern edge of Apache Junction.
Inside the house, the Devil’s Cowboys drank beer with Charlie. They also watched the Hells Angels on Wheels movie with Candy, who is twenty-eight years old, Melinda, who is thirty years old, and Sadie, who is twenty-five.
Charlie would watch the movie and then sneak a peek at the girls. Their tight jeans and tops showing off their cleavage gave him an instant erection.
Outside on the back porch, Bart and Bear drank beer.
“So here’s my thoughts on how we can get rich. We sneak back to eighteen eighty-three, rob some banks, stagecoaches, and trains, and then run back through that time portal and hide out here in two thousand and five,” Bear said.
Bart thought about Bear’s offer, and he smiled. “Well, since we saw on that thing you call a TV that Marshal Bartley got arrested, I think your plan will work. He was the toughest Marshal in these parts back then. So this will be easy, like licking butter off a knife,” Bart replied, and then they tapped their beer bottles to seal the deal.
In a Wal-Mart parking lot, John parked his Corolla. He got in the back seat and lay down. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep but couldn’t. The events of the past weeks ran through his mind and kept him awake. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he screwed up his life. The sun rose, and it was another morning in the Phoenix area. It’s Saturday, September 2nd, 2006.
In one of the Phoenix police stations, Clint sat on a jail cell bench. He was baffled as this was the first time he was arrested and considered a criminal; he also felt naked and powerless without his pistol.
At the other end of the bench sat Butch, a big brute, who glanced over at Clint. Butch sniffed the air and then smiled at Clint.
“You smell dirty. Real dirty,” Butch said with a romantic interest in Clint. Butch slid down the bench and sat next to Clint then he winked at him. “Can I give you a scrubbing?” Butch said and blew a kiss at Clint. Butch leaned over and rubbed Clint’s inner thigh with a horny grin and gave another wink of the eye.
Clint’s eyes widened in shock over a guy doing that to him, so he jumped up and reached for his pistol. It wasn’t there, so he stood with his hand pointed at Butch as if it was a pistol.
Detective Alicia Hernandez, a thirty-year-old beautiful Mexican American with shoulder-length black hair and memorizing brown eyes, walked up to the cell with a folder in her hand. She’s been with the Phoenix police department for ten years now.
She saw Clint standing with his hand aimed like a pistol at Butch. She knew Butch was up to something he shouldn’t be doing, as he’s a regular in their station.
“Butch! Get your tongue off the floor and leave him alone!” Alicia yelled out.
Butch pouted while he scooted away down the bench.
“Bartley. I’m Detective Alicia Hernandez. Can we talk about what just happened outside that bar?” she asked.
Clint kept a watchful eye on Butch in case he tried something. “Yes, Ma’am, it would be a pleasure to explain what happened,” he stated.
“Wow. That’s the first time a criminal called me that,” she said while she unlocked the door and opened it.
“I’m not a criminal,” Clint said while he exited the cell.
“They all say that. Follow me,” Alicia said, then closed the door.
Alicia escorted Clint away down the row of jail cells. They left the room of jail cells and entered a hallway. “Ma’am, can I go to the outhouse?” Clint asked.
“Outhouse?” Alicia looked confused when she heard that work. Then, it dawned on her what he meant. “Oh, the bathroom. Sure.”
Alicia escorted Clint down the hallway and then turned down another hall. She walked Clint to the Men’s Room.
“Here’s your outhouse,” she told him. “It’s indoor.”
Clint looked at the door and wasn’t sure about it, but he was in the future where things were obviously different. He slowly opened the door and went inside the Men’s Room.
Alicia waited outside the Men’s Room door.
A detective walked out of the Men’s Room with a bewildered look. He saw Alicia. “Is that your man inside there?”
he asked her.
“Yeah, what did he do?” she asked, a little concerned.
“He had no idea how to use a urinal. Is there something wrong with him?” the detective asked. “He watched me piss to know that’s what a urinal was for,” the detective added.
“I’m starting to wonder about him myself,” she said, then looked at the folder in her hand.
The detective walked away down the hallway, and Alicia heard a urinal flush numerous times inside the Men’s Room.
Clint walked out of the Men’s Room, amazed. “That’s one fancy outhouse!” he stated, impressed.
Alicia looked concerned while she escorted him down the hallway.
Out over at the Wal-Mart parking lot, John’s Corolla was still there.
In the backseat, John was curled under a blanket he purchased in Wal-Mart late last night. He finally dozed off two hours ago.
A car backfired in the parking stall behind his Corolla. John woke up, and Bart and Charlie fired a pistol at his car and cautiously peeked above his backseat. He looked around the parking lot and saw nothing but other people and cars.
Bart and Charlie were not visible, and he was relieved. He climbed over and got in his front seat.
A couple walked by his window.
The woman was obviously upset with her man and stopped.
John curiously watched the couple.
“I’m sorry, honey. I can’t undo what’s already done. If I could go back in time, I would. But I can’t,” the man pleaded with his wife.
“I never want to see you again!” she said, then stormed off.
John watched as she stormed off while the man chased after her.
John’s eyes widened as this stranger’s comment to his girl got him thinking of a way out of this mess; he smiled and started his car. He knew his new plan would fix everything, and he could make his life normal again.
Back at the police station, Clint sat alone in the interrogation room.
Alicia entered with that folder in hand. Hector Carlson, a fifty-year-old detective, six months away from retirement, walked in behind Alicia.
“Mister Bartley, this is my partner, Detective Hector Carlson,” she introduced him.
Clint got up, walked over to Hector, and stuck out his hand. Hector almost slammed Clint into the wall, thinking this cowboy was a threat, but his instincts stopped him.