ANA Reborn by Carl Facciponte - HTML preview
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Chapter 30
aul, thank you for seeing me again on short P “ notice," Martha said.
Paul noted her eyes were bloodshot from crying again.
"No problem at all, Martha. I'm glad to help,"
he said as he took her hand at the door of the rectory and ushered her in.
"It's just that it's been very hard since Ralph was killed. I knew I loved him, but I guess I just didn't realize how much."
"Quite natural. It's only been three weeks.
Most of us have no idea how much we truly love someone until they are no longer here," Paul said with regret in his voice, "like Gabriella."
Martha looked into his eyes and said, "I understand how you must feel."
"So, let's go into the living room and sit and talk for a while. What can I get you to drink? We 233
have a variety of soft drinks and several teas.
Gabriella particularly liked the green jasmine tea," Paul said with a small down-lilt in his voice.
"I'll have the green tea, thank you." Paul nodded and walked off into the kitchen for a few minutes. Martha could hear the water running in the old, chipped white enameled sink, and the clinking sound as he placed the teapot on the stove burner. Paul returned.
"The tea will be ready in just a couple of minutes," he said as he sat next to her on the couch. "So let me ask you to start, Martha."
Martha looked him straight in the eye with pain and confusion. "I just don't understand why he had to die. He was so young and strong, and I loved him so. I just don't understand why God would take him away from me like this."
Paul looked down at his feet for a few moments. Then, raising his head, looked at Martha with compassion. "I understand how you feel, Martha. I've had people I cared for deeply who, suddenly, were no longer in my life. It's easy to understand how you can blame God and ask why he did this."
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Martha nodded. There was a glimmer of hope in her eyes that he might say something that could comfort her.
"Truth is," he continued, "we simply live in a fallen world. People have choices on how to conduct themselves, and they frequently make bad choices, such as starting wars to advance their greed. The sad thing is, good people get caught up in it and are hurt or killed through no fault of their own."
"So you're saying it was not God that took Ralph from me. Is that correct?"
"Yes, that's basically it. We saw the same thing when your old boss, Jim, was killed by his wife.
He made choices during his life that culminated in the actions that ultimately got him killed. It's sad, but if he had not been sleeping around, Alice would never have murdered him. In Ralph's case, he was strictly a victim of other people making bad choices. As I said, we live in an imperfect and fallen world."
Paul paused and looked toward the kitchen.
"Hold on a second. I hear the teapot whistling in the other room. Our water is ready." Paul stood and walked into the kitchen. Martha watched him 235
walk across the oriental-style rug and round the corner to the kitchen. She heard the clinking of cups and saucers.
"Martha," Paul called out, "do you take anything in your tea?"
"No thanks, I'll have it just as it is."
Paul returned in a moment, balancing two cups of tea on saucers. Martha looked at the cups and then glanced at Paul quizzically. "No big mug?" she asked.
"Hey, my ex-wife said it wasn't proper to drink tea from a mug."
Martha nodded.
Let's see, where were we?" Paul questioned.
"We were talking about people having a choice in making the wrong choice. And the choices we make lead to specific consequences, such as in Jim's case. Does that make any sense?"
"Yes, it does, but I still want to blame someone for Ralph's death."
"Martha, what would be the good in doing that? Ralph was a wonderful guy, absolutely no doubt about it, but he is gone from us for a short 236
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while. To blame others will only emotionally scar you. Blame never, ever, makes us feel better about a situation."
"So, are you telling me to suck it up and just move on?" Martha said defensively as she sat upright on the couch, folding her arms across her chest. Her eyes narrowed.
"No, never! I would never say a thing like that." The pain in his voice was mirrored in his eyes. "Grief doesn't work that way. All I'm saying is some actions can make us feel worse, if that were even possible. Trying to place the blame on someone will hurt you."
"You're right. I don't think it would be possible to feel any worse than this," Martha said as she sipped her tea. Her eyes glistened. "I don't know why, but somehow I think Lance had something to do with it."
Paul had a confused look for a moment, not understanding what Lance had to do with anything.
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