​Core Practice 2: The Planning Pause

Before committing to any new plan that involves spending time with someone, pause and check in with your partner(s) first. This isn't a request for permission, but about being transparent and ensuring that no existing commitments are overlooked.

• For example, send a quick message before finalising plans: "I'm thinking of meeting up with X on Y day. Would that work for you?" This takes ten seconds and prevents scheduling surprises.
• For significant situations, such as visiting someone's home for the first time, staying over for the first time, or the first opportunity for sexual intimacy, you try to allow a 24-hour waiting period between first bringing up the idea and confirming the plan. This gives any emotions that might arise a chance to settle and ensures that the decision isn't made in haste.
• When you're together and an invitation arises spontaneously, practise the 'shared glance': look at your partner to silently check in with them before responding. This small gesture communicates, "We're a team, and your comfort matters to me."