​6. The Blueprint Takes Shape

A few days later, one morning, Mark stood at the kitchen counter. He layered handfuls of lettuce, kale and herbs into the blender. Then he added a piece of cucumber, a banana, an apple, and a handful of mixed seeds and nuts. Starting the day with a green smoothie was their morning mantra — a ritual of care and commitment to healthy living.

While the mixer was running, he thought about the previous evening in the living room. He could see it again in his mind's eye: Maia and Dorian sitting closely entwined on the carpet under the soft light of the lamp, breathing together through their heart centres. He remembered the initial flutter of anxiety in his stomach and the familiar voice of insecurity asking, Is this a bad idea?

But then something else happened. He watched Maia's face as her expression softened into a deep, radiant peace. Without thinking, he reached out and placed a hand on her ankle, silently anchoring his presence. The joy she felt seemed to flow through his touch - a soothing current that calmed the turbulence in his stomach. It didn't feel like something was being taken from him. Instead, there was a deep sense of balance and inclusion in the beauty of the moment. He had to admit, it was truly wonderful.

The blender fell silent. He poured the thick, green smoothie into two glasses. Just in time, Maia padded into the kitchen, wrapped in her robe. She met his eyes, a silent question hanging between them. He handed her one of the glasses.

"Thank you," she said, still sleepy and emotional from the night before. She took a quick sip. "It's good." The atmosphere was fragile, like the first thin ice on a pond, yet astonishingly clear. There were no hidden agendas below the surface; only their shared intention to build something meaningful together.

Mark set his glass down with a soft clink. "You know, I really felt ... okay last night. More than okay, in fact. But I also know that the jealous version of me is still in there. Shall we make a list of the skills we need to improve?"

Maia nodded, relief washing over her. "Yes, please. This is unfamiliar ground, so let's create a blueprint to guide us through the building process."

They sat cross-legged on the living room rug. Before opening her notebook to a fresh page, Maia flipped back a few leaves. She pushed the notebook towards Mark. "I wrote down some thoughts the other night," she said.

Mark read the notes about the Networks of LOVE in silence. When he looked up, he was captivated by the beauty of this new framework for relationships. He slid the notebook back to the centre between them.

Maia turned the page and ran a finger along the white space. "I've been trying to figure out what makes something like this work well. But I don't have the answers yet. What skills do we need to make sure this ..." She gestured to the spot where Dorian had hugged her, and then to herself, "... makes us stronger and makes us grow, and not go in the wrong direction?"

Mark picked up the pen. He thought about the odd feelings in his stomach, followed by a sense of soothing, uplifting calm. "Okay. The most important skill would probably be ..." he said, writing as he spoke. "Honest, loving commu­nication." Above all, we should address issues before they can become a bigger problem. For example, ‘Hey, what you said or did made me feel queasy,‘ instead of staying quiet and feeling upset for three days." He looked at her for confirmation.

"Yes," Maia said, leaning in. "Expressing the little hurts from the heart while they're still small."

"So, it starts with heart-centred breathing. Which leads me to the second thing," Mark said, tapping the pen. "Emotional self-regulation. I can't just dump my emotional wobble on you like it's your job to fix it. I have to also work with it. Pause. Breathe. Ask myself what it's really about before I bring it to you."

In that moment, Maia felt a wave of LOVE for him. He was describing the inner work with a clarity that stunned her. "That's huge," she whispered. "And, of course, that goes both ways."

After a pause, she continued. "The next big topic could be allowances and boundaries. This is our map. We need to know what's okay and what's not, and communicate this to each other. It protects our feelings, but also our space for growth and experience. We also need to find out together how much closeness, care and time we are comfortable with each of us giving to others. This will help us to trust each other and feel safe as we grow together."

Mark wrote that down. Staring at the page, he fell silent for a moment. He could see what came next. "And the big one," he said. "Jealousy."

Maia nodded. "I just read something about it. It said jealousy isn't just the problem of the one feeling it. It's the responsibility of everyone involved." (*)

She watched the concept land with him. "It's a signal," she said. "A fear alarm is going off. Our job – mine, yours, and, if he's involved, Dorian's - is to acknowledge that feeling and work together to find safety and stability. We're a team against fears, insecurities and pain, and we need to find ways of doing things without harming each other."

Mark let out a long breath. The idea was revolutionary. It transformed jealousy from a shameful failing into a shared puzzle to solve. It meant he wouldn't be left alone with the monster in his stomach.

He wrote it down, underlining it: 'Working with jealousy: a team sport.' As he looked at the growing list, Mark realised that it was starting to become their practical, personal toolkit. The relationship network was no longer an intimidating, abstract ideal. It was something they could build together.

...

(*) Find out more about this in Love Beyond Jealousy.