Lovely Summer Smoke Deluged by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview

Chapter 23

Surprising everyone the film-making-acting troupe roared down the Collinaire driveway. Without any malice aforethought they parked haphazardly blocking in the family vehicles. After the fact, Ruben seemed to notice what was done, but gleefully didn’t care, as he was super excited. The rest of the band was also exuberant; even Katharine’s face cracked.

They hurried to the porch and Ruben did a loud rat-a-tat on the front door and was greeted by a curious Hi. Social pleasantries were ignored as Ruben barged into the center hall, followed by the rest.

He announced; “I don’t want to hear a thing. This is it. We got the one we wanted. I will not accept any arguments. Get everyone here to see this. You can thank me later.” Hi grinned at his often overly theatrical friend, but rounded up the family and soon everyone was sitting in the now dark center hall.

In blood-dripping and tongue-shaped letters “VAMPIRES

WITHIN” came on the screen and it began. It was a warm summer night and the first time her parent’s left fourteen year old Ellen alone overnight. She turned in near eleven o’clock, and now, half an hour later, was entering a deep sleep, in her second floor bedroom. The windows were left a few inches open because of the heat. She was startled awake by a screeching sound. When she sat up she was horrified to see a large bat

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circling her bed. If this wasn’t bad enough the bat then flew under her bed and a huge figure popped out in its place. Ellen screamed. She saw a male figure standing still at the bedside smiling at her. The room was dark excepting the soundless television she used in place of a nightlight. But, even in this poor light she could clearly see the grinning figure profusely salivating out of bright red lips, which stood out from his powder white face. Two fangs protruded from the drooling mouth.

He was dressed entirely in black, with nine inch shoulder pads and a cape reaching his knees.

She bolted from the side of the bed opposite him and tried to run for the door, only to see it blocked by a similarly dressed male figure. Behind him were two females in black mini-dresses and fishnet stockings. Their six inch high heels made them slightly taller than the male. Their breasts were marginally covered by bright red tank tops. Their long straight black hair reached their mini-dresses. A blasé, stoned-out look covered their pale white faces, which was decorated with hot red lipstick and heavy duty mascara.

Having no exit, Ellen stopped and looked back at the male near her bed. She cried; “Please don’t hurt me. Please. Please.”

The man laughed and said; “The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I’d just like you to feel good and suck all over you.”

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The curtain immediately came down. The two actors and three actresses looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Actor #2: “I told you you’d never get away with that one in a high school play.”

Actor #1: “It was worth a try. Whatever comes next is probably going to be more interesting than the play.”

Ellen: “Are you going to suck all over me?”

Actor #1, jokingly: “Maybe later. Right now, just watch this excitement.”

The lights in the auditorium went on and the audience reaction was mixed. They were already thirty minutes into the play, and some, especially the parents were half asleep. They kind of woke up to ask; “Is it over?” or “What happened?” These were unanswered questions for the moment. Some of the audience kids were standing up, giving high fives and other hand signals only the kids understood. Other kids appeared startled or mildly amused, and most tried to evoke a bubble headed cool.

The Vice Principal (known as “The Axe”) entered the curtain drawn stage area, and loudly said; “You were warned and you promised no nonsense.”

Actor #1, unsuccessfully trying to look serious: “What nonsense? You must mean the idiot who dropped the curtain at the wrong time.”

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The Axe: “Don’t get funny. That was me. How dare you say;

‘Suck all over you?’”

Actor #1: “I have it on good authority that vampires like to suck.”

His four compatriots turned their heads away and faked stifling a laugh.

The Axe, hands shaking; “SUCK ALL OVER YOUR BODY?”

Actor #1: “No thanks. I’m not into guys.”

The Axe, shaking all over; “That’s the last smartass answer you will give me. Consider yourself suspended as of right now.”

Actor #1: “Okay, okay. I’ll give you the serious answer you want. When I was writing this play my research on vampires indicated that some like to go for the throat, some like to go for the feet, and some like to go for various spots in between.

In an effort to be non-discriminatory ………………………..”

The Axe cut him off, saying; “That’s enough. And as for the rest of you; we intend to determine your parts in this obscenity.” He turned as if it were a military drill, and exited.

The group was unable to contain their amusement. They looked at each other, began hugging and kissing as they jumped up and down.

Actor #1: “There’s no way they can prove obscenity on this one. My father will have them in court and we’ll be back in

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school in a matter of days. We’ll probably get a written apology.”

Ellen to Actor #1: “I guess I discriminate. Do you know which part of my body I most like having sucked?”

Actor #1 grinned and murmured; “I think so. We’re very compatible.”

Actress #1: “I think that’s my favorite part too. It should be great for a blood craving vampire.”

Actress #2: “Are we ladies all the same?”

Actor #2: “The night of the vampires is just beginning.”

The vampires met at a local cemetery, which housed graves of some people born in the 1600’s. They had simple markings, often a two foot slender stone, curved at the top. They were in a treeless area, about 200 feet from an old church, which looked more ominous than hopeful in the half moon darkness. Adelaida, Sofia and Svetlana were dressed as they truly were; trampy with a dominant flavor. They had stiletto heeled shoes, though also wore ankle chains, suggestive of submission. Their mini-skirts were complemented by see through blouses, revealing nipples at attention. Their straight, black, middle back hair was parted in the center and left to fly with the night breeze. Their makeup was extravagant, with a milk white powder base under black mascara applied in unusual places for design and extremely heavy

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around the eyes, suggesting one who has not slept, having been up on speed for three days. Their expressions were clear, blank and confident. They stood with parted legs which would have revealed pubic hair to a five year old or a dwarf.

Morbius’ (sometimes called Morbid, and he doesn’t care) and Opiathium’s (sometimes called Opie, but he doesn’t like it) most significant features were the bulges in their tight black pants; at least they and the three vampiras thought so. Their upper bodies were covered with dark blue, button down shirts, opened widely enough to get an occasional glance at gold nipple rings extending from half inch hosts. Their complexions appeared as if a very white pancake makeup was employed or that they had spent their lives under a rock. They had hot red lips, eye mascara and long dark hair, though much messier than A, S and S. They had the ability to cover up in long black cloaks, but preferred to display their best assets, often using a hand to scratch a supposed itch. If the itch ever subsided all they had to do was look at A, S and S.

Adelaida: “Where is tonight’s play room?”

Morbius: “Room 204 of the women’s dormitory. We’ve met a few chicks who live there and claim a high level of curiosity.

We will find out if they are talkers or players. One might say writers or actors.”

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The five disappeared and five bats jumped out of the darkness, their extremely long, leathery wings flapping, which sounded like a million crunching locusts trapped in a UFO in the otherwise still night. Morbius led the others through an open window and they regained their “human” appearance.

The four young women in the room approximated twenty years of age and therefore should have had a head start on the baby vampires and vampiras. They were laying in their beds, some sound asleep, some dozing, occasionally glancing at the television, the only light in the room, playing some contemporary popular sit-com, comprised of sex jokes gleaned from their junior high school years, of a seemingly limitless variety, inclusive of straight, bi and gay foibles. The canned laughter became loudest when the characters were compelled to psychologically explain their “deviant” urges to deaf ears.

The four young women had recently returned from a beer party at a nearby frat house. They were actually smashed on vodka, preferring the quicker hit, and carried their own designer flasks. They also didn’t like the constant bathroom trips necessitated by beer piss, partially because they had not yet met any guys into that. Tonight’s “party” had been a particular disappointment as the guys seemed more intent on impressing each other with how macho and stupid they could be, rather than risking the adventure of a wet, furry cave. The

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women recalled having once been amused at this kind of behavior, but couldn’t remember when.

The five flying demons congregated near the open window, causing some consternation among the drunken hotties. But, they were still sufficiently buzzed to allow their frustrated, horny curiosity to override.

Hottie #1, still lying in bed, casually smiling with her eyes, wearing a lacy, black bra and G-string styled underpants, from which ample, black pubic hair protruded: “That’s great. Do you have a second act?”

Morbius: “Second, third, fourth, fifth, whatever.”

Hottie #1: “I don’t want to miss anything. Start at act one.”

Morbius undid the button and zipper of his pants, introducing the stand-in, a sizable companion. He really didn’t know his pal’s exact dimensions as he hated math and stupid, prizeless competition. He held his friend in his right hand, wiggling him a bit. He cocked his head to the left, with an eager, questioning look in his eyes.

Hotties #2, 3 and 4 were also at attention, sitting up in their beds, instinctively giving a hand to their own friends.

Hottie #1 lay on her back, arched her pelvic area and pulled down her G-string over bare feet. When she lifted her left leg to complete the maneuver Morbius got a bird’s eye view of a

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pink-brown clit, barely visible through thick black hair at least two inches to the east, west and south and probably five up north. Opiathium, Adelaida, Sofia and Svetlana all had the same idea, but deferred to Morbius’ head start, and just stood there watching.

Hottie #1: “You’re getting a special taste today. I haven’t showered since yesterday and I think I just got my period.”

Morbius had exhausted his interest in making silly sophomoric comments and proceeded to Hottie #1’s bed, removed his clothes, got on his knees, kissed her on each pretty foot and gently pulled her by the ankles to the edge of the bed. As the Amazon Forest got closer to his face, he could smell that undisturbed, fragrant wetness he so loved. His tongue started to explore the furry trees closest to the edge, as the goddamned, heavy curtain came crashing down. Lights over the audience went on to their maximum strength making eyes blink. A communal sound of an annoyed “Ooooh” was heard. Some people stood up and yelled at the closed curtain. “What the fuck?” “Come on asshole,”

“Don’t stop it now, shithead,” and “I want to see him eat it raw,” among other undecipherable phrases were heard. These commentaries were only outdone when the daydreaming male contingent of the audience, belatedly expressed their feelings.

On stage, Prevost McMillan, head of the Yale University Theatre Department was in an absolute tizzy. He walked around

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the stage, presumably to perform his own inspection of the relevant evidence, lingering on the most vital area of engagement, looking for signs of blood. He wondered if he needed a sample. McMillan smiled and calmly said; “You promised no contact.”

Morbius finally picked up his head, revealing a chin of blood and some other substance dripping down, and some remaining there in a lump. He said; “I’m sorry, really. This turned into improvisational theatre. You know a vampire has no resistance to blood.”

McMillan said; “I sympathize. I’ve known a few convulsive moments myself. But, the cops are coming and what are we going to tell them?”

Morbius shrugged, put on his pants, and calmly said; “That there is nothing obscene about wanting to eat a big, bloody, hairy pussy, of course.”

McMillan countered with; “I think they’ll disagree.”

Morbius smiled and said; “Ah, but you may have ignored the key words; ‘wanting to.’ As far as I know there are no laws governing mental activity like ‘wanting to.’ We’ll all agree that we were not sure of seeing any actual contact.” He smiled at everyone while glancing around the stage, and used his right middle finger to wipe the evidence from his chin, swallowing it

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like an experienced druggie. He stuck out his tongue as far as it would go, searching for tell-tale leftovers.

Someone raised the curtain and the screaming audience was now able to see more interesting theatre. As three puzzled police officers walked on stage, they were greeted by nine silent, bewildered looking actors and an impressed theatre director.

Cop #1, apparently the brains of the group, asked the bright question; “What’s going on here?”

Morbius said; “I don’t know. You tell me. I didn’t even know that there were any cops in this play. Spiffy costume, though.”

Intrepid Cop #1 was not to be easily deterred and said;

“Don’t give me a hard time. We got a call saying there is obscenity in progress.”

Morbius said; “My goodness gracious. I don’t think I’ve seen any, but if you tell me what it looks like perhaps I could help you find it.”

A young female in the audience yelled out; “I paid ten dollars to be entertained and you cops are bombing out the show.”

A young male in the audience followed with; “Get the fuck out of here.”

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The next few minutes followed a similar plot line and led to nothing tangible. The puzzled cops left when the “obscenity”

screaming audience started to throw things.

Morbius took in the unscripted scene; five vampires in very sexual outfits; four females in various states of undress; a grinning theatre director; and an audience gone crazy. Audience men showed the censors their collective IQ’s with both hands.

Some audience women did an impromptu strip, yelling out things like; “Pardon me for forgetting my FDS” and other overt references to advertising slogans. “THE END” flashed on the screen and an audible groan was heard from Bee, Otis, Tory, Hi, Kale, Arthur, Posie and Amber. (Note order.) The monitor went dark and the entire Collinaire family looked to the film-makers and said; “Oh,” wishing for more, then broke into a standing ovation led by Hi.

This was American theatre at its best. There was no commentary, not even from the brilliant and discerning king of characterization; Arthur.

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