How to Attract a Partner by Roger Millar - HTML preview

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"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly." Sam Keen


The author and publisher of this e-book and accompanying materials have used his/her best efforts in preparing this e-book. The author makes no representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the contents of this e-book. The information contained in this ebook is strictly for educational purposes. Therefore, if you wish to apply the ideas contained in this ebook, you are taking full responsibility for your actions. The information contained in this publication is not a substitute or intended as a source of Therapeutic or Counselling advice.

The author and publisher of this e-book and accompanying materials accept no responsibility or liability on behalf of the reader or purchaser (if applicable) of this material.

This e-book is © copyrighted by Roger Millar of 7Ask7, No part of this e-book or format may be changed, sold, or used in any way other than what is outlined within this e-book under any circumstances, unless permission is requested and given by the author.

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Chapter 1 - The Research
The Research

“ Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.” Hebrews 11:1-3

In order to find YOUR perfect mate, It would best suit you to ask yourself a series of questions, the answers you give will lead you to a more concrete idea of what is best for you. Sometimes what we want and what me need don’t match up.

What you believe will ultimately be your reality and life experience, once we can identify our beliefs and how they shape our lives, we can understand ourselves better.

Q1 Do you believe you deserve the best?

Puttingyourselfdownandhavinglowself-esteemmeansyouwillonlyattract acertaintypeofperson,whowillkeepyoudownandneedstofeedofyour insecuritytomakethemselvesfeelsuperior.

Q2 Do you love yourself, take care of your body think positively about yourself?




00001.jpgQ3 In finding a partner do you believe in fate, good luck, divine interventionck, divine intervention or a bigger plan?

Thinkabouttheprobabilitiesinvolvedinyouhavingmetthatpersonatthat timeinyourlifewholaterbecameaboyfriendorgirlfriend.

Q4 How do your beliefs affect your approach to finding a partner?

DoyoutrustinGod,theuniverse,fateyourangelsorjustyourself?Areyou relaxedaboutthesituationordesperate?Trustinginsomethingelseother thanyourselfwillmaketheprocessmorepositive.

Q5 Are you enjoying the moment?

Truehappinessisastateofmindnotdeterminedbyexternalcircumstances. Thehappieryouarethemorepeoplewillbeattractedtoyouandwantto spendtimewithyou.

Q6 Do you have an itch?

Thereisatermcalled“Thesevenyearitch”everysevenyearsonaveragewe gothroughmajorchanges,whichalterwhoouridealpartnerwouldbe. Thinkaboutyourpastrelationships,wherewouldyoubetodayifyouhad stayedtogether.Wouldtheybeyouridealpartnertoday.
You may be going through a transition regarding the type of person you normallygofor.Ifthatisthecase,beingsingleatthismomentwillbenefit you,asyouwillbeabletoidentifymoreclearlywhatyouwant.

Q7 What benefits are there of being single?

YoualwayswintheargumentandasWoodyAllensays“Igettohavesexwith someoneIlove,myself”
Beingsinglegivesyouthechancetofindandredefineyourself,quantifyyour valuesanddeterminewhatyoudoanddon’twantfromarelationship.

Inordertoreceivesomethingbigweneedtocreatespaceforit.Yournext partnershouldcomplimentthepersonthatyouare,andfillthevoidthatis there,withoutthevoidthereisnothingforthemtomoveintoandfill,solive inpositiveexpectation.

No one is perfect and everyone is perfect, having a lasting fulfilling relationship requires give and take, and a lot of love and a bit of lust. The more you love someone for who they are not what they are and what they have the more perfect they will be in your eyes.
Finding an ideal mate starts with us knowing what we want and being the best that we can be ourselves. When we have in our minds those two areas and are positive we will be in a place where we can attract our future partner and more importantly realize the opportunities when they come along.

Before you think about finding your soul mate find yourself. Finding yourself means, getting to a place where you are happy and positive about life doing the things you want to do, without thinking negatively about your lack of romantic action. This will make you more attractive in everyway

Have an idea about the sort of person you would like to be with, don't sell yourself short or be unrealistic
Ask yourself "What do I have to offer what are my qualities"?

It starts with you, don't have a mindset of finding a partner to complete your life, a partner should enhance it, Don't put that added pressure onto a prospective partner. You are already complete

Don't get desperate, be yourself be natural. The energy of desperation is unappealing to most people; it also portrays a lack of confidence, balance, immaturity and low values.

Have you ever been in a shop and the shop assistant continually harassed you about buying a product, did that forthright mentality endear you to stay longer in the shop and purchase a product, or did it have the opposite effect?

Be open with the right people (same and opposite sex) about your situation, don't be aloof and put up a barrier that says "I don't want you to know " let people know that you are looking for a relationship with the right person. Most people are not mind-readers.

Practice smiling more especially at the opposite sex, make it a natural part of your day, enjoy the process of finding that ideal person.


And when you find that person;

Don't try to change them, if you want to change someone change yourself, if they are meant to be with you will both naturally change to compliment each other better. Trust nature in this
Allow them time and space to be themselves and make changes in their lives. Being joined at the hip or keeping a diary of their hourly movements will severely strain the relationship and drive them away long term. Don't drop your friends, they will probably still be around when your relationship ends. I am not being pessimistic I am being realistic, if it wasn’t so most people would only have ever had one partner in their life.

Love them without condition not with conditions. Conditional love will only last a short time.

Chapter 2 –––– The search

For those who are looking for a mate, there are certain questions you should ask yourself and be able to answer and certain places you should think about going in order to increase your chances of finding your ideal partner. This is not an ideal science otherwise, it would not be a problem to so many people.

Below is a list of questions and also a list of suggestions although not exhaustive which will hopefully stimulate you into some positive action.


What type of person are you looking for?
What type of person are you?
What kind of relationship do you want?


00002.jpgDo you want to be the hunter or the hunted?
What do you have to offer a prospective partner?


Places where you can meet new people In no particular order,


Bars, Clubs




Sporting events


00003.jpgWeddings, funerals, christenings


Places of worship




At work


Courses, classes, seminars


Dating agency, speed dating


Internet – Online forums, chat rooms discussion boards


Friend of a friend, blind date Commuter buddies


Chance encounter

Look at the items in this list that you enjoy, or suggestions that appeal to you and try and put them into practice in your life. If you feel more comfortable take along a friend or family member to help you achieve some of the above suggestions.

Enjoy your life as much as possible and you will be in the right place at the right time, to meet your ideal partner. You will also become a more valuable catch in the eyes of the opposite sex.

Chapter 3 –––– A New Model in Town

I have devised 2 models to help you work out what the opposite sex wants, and more importantly what you want. “The Same difference Model”. “The Same difference Model” and “The “LIFE model”

These models will help you find the person you desire and help them to find you “a perfect match”.

If you are constantly attracting the quote on quote “wrong type” or no type i.e. no one, this is to do with your personal remit, some of which is conscious most of which is sub-conscious.

Coaching with the right person will enable you to, align your remit so that your sub-conscious gets in line with what you want to experience consciously in your life. Our main source of power is not in our conscious mind, which explains why we sometimes find it hard to get what we want. Knowing what the source is and how to utilise it to our advantage is the key. When you are clear on your goal your reward finds you.

Now how to set up the goals and my new models;


Model 1 - The same difference model


Purposee –––– To begin to line up your whole self so that there is no conflict between your thoughts (conscious and sub-conscious), words and actions

Men and women normally want the same end result, but generally want to achieve it in a different way. By using my same difference model, you can set the process in motion of attracting your ideal partner.

How to use the same difference model
Take a blank sheet of A4 paper and divide into 4 columns Column 1 title - Remit
Column 2 title - Same
Column 3 title – Difference
Column 4 title - Why
Before you start put a date at the top of the paper and when you have found the person you have been looking for date it again and work out how long it took. I would also be interested to hear about your successes and how long it took you to manifest.

In Column 1 Remit – List a series of your values, lifestyle choices, and characteristics (positive and negative) etc which are important to you and reflect part of who you are. Your remit

In Column 2 Same – working from left to right taking each remit in turn place a tick or cross in this section depending upon whether you would like to see the same trait in your ideal partner SAME a tick or if you would prefer not to DIFFERENCE a cross

Column 3 Difference - Tick or cross as applicable


Column 4 Why – Describe why you have made the decision i.e. placed a tick/ cross in the same /difference section.

Example – Ruth completes her table
Column 1 Remit – Health – “I don’t like the way I look and would like to loose some weight”
Column 2 Same –Cross
Column 3 Difference – Tick
Column 4 Why – “I want someone who is in perfect health and looks good.”

Q – In regards to this topic what type of person do you think Ruth is more likely to attract and why?

The power of the model is down to you and the questions you ask yourself, thinking about the values and characteristics important to you such as family, children, sex, sexuality, money, beliefs etc this will enhance this results.

A model template has been inserted at the back of this book along with a list of remit topics.

The beauty of the model can only be fully seen once it is completed, you will have a series of remits alongside ticks and crosses (same/ difference) and reasons why you made the choice, This is your blueprint, you can also add to and take away items from the table as time goes by.
From looking at your completed table write a statement below which describes your ideal mate, it should be easy to do now, this will begin to align your subconscious mind to your desires and speed up the process. Remember; Out of sight out of mind so look at your statement of intent at least once a day.

“The subconscious works out the logistics, (The who, what, where, when and how) the conscious is concerned with the statistics (The end result)”
Roger Millar


You can now begin to see why it is so powerful in the grand scheme of things and one of the reasons why we are told not to worry. When we worry we are upsetting our natural state/balance which is one of the main contributory factors of stress.

The main benefit


Assuming that like attracts like, this model will also reveal something else important to you, lets pick on Ruth and take another look at her example

Column 1 Remit – Health – I don’t like the way I look and would like to loose some weight
Column 2 Same –Cross
Column 3 Difference – Tick
Column 4 Why – I want someone who is in perfect health and looks good.

Q –––– In regards to this topic what type of person do you think Ruth is more likely to attract and why?
A–InregardstohealthRuthwillattractsomeonelikeherself(hermentalself notherphysicalself)

Q- Who or what is RutWho or what is Ruth?
A–Ruthishermindandherthoughtsnotherbody,herbodyreflectsher mind
Itishersubconsciousmindthatwilldeterminewhoshewillmeetnotwhat weightsheisorhowattractiveshelooks.
Hersubconsciousmindwillalsodeterminewhatstepsifanyshewilltaketo improveherhealth.IfRuth’ssubconsciousisinlinewithheridealpartner shewillattracthimifit’snotshewont.

So by looking at the table you can identify things you want in life or in an ideal partner that you do not currently possess,
In order to find that in a partner you will need to create it in your subconscious.
This list will also help you to identify to you what area in your life you need to change in order to speed up the process of attracting the perfect mate for you.

Model 2 - The LIFE model


The LIFE model

Purpose – Finding your ideal partner in the most effective way starts with knowing what you want and then aligning your whole self (mind, body & spirit) in order to attract the ideal partner. The same difference Model will work on aligning your mind
This model will work on aligning your body and spirit and can be used for most situations.

How the LIFE model works;

Leverage – Boosters & incentives to make rapid changes
Intuition – Inner knowing which helps us make choices which are best for us Faith – Postive belief, conviction and assurance about an outcome Exciting experiences – Physical five sense reality that also affects the mind and spirit.

Choose one area of your life to focus on at a time

Leverage the goal by thinking about and writing it down
What you would gain if you had it?
What would you lose if you didn’t have it?
What is holding you back and how can you change it?
Who and/or what can you use to help you achieve the goal?


What will you do differently than normal to achieve the goal?

Are you an away from or a towards person. When people face a major obstacletheynaturaldisplayaflightorfighttendency.
QAreyoumoremotivatedbythepainorpleasureoftheoutcome? Whenyouhaveworkeditoutwhichcampyouareinleverageyourselfupin thisarea

Deep inside there is a part of us that knows the answers to life questions, tap into that part of you and use it, listen to it and act on it

Intuition utilizes our EGS (Emotional Guidance System). This is linked to our higher self’s, the part of us that knows all things, and has no limitations The EGS uses frequency (Vibration) transfers the information to our mind and body, the frequency band will differ depending upon the person. The emotion (energy in motion) creates a feeling normally in the solar plexus and the mind where these vibrations are converted into patterns that the brain can translate into thoughts, words and images.

Faith will result in positive action, looking at what you have written down using Leverage ask yourself and your intuition what you can achieve.

• Imagine the end result and completed goal,
• Imagine and feel the energy this brings.
• Focus on what you can do not what you cant do,
• Act on your positive thoughts

Exciting experiences
Seeing the tangible results of each step of faith increases your confidence and enjoyment of life. You have recent victories to look back over to help you progress even further. Your limitations fall and expectations rise, you will see your fears for what they are


Enjoying your life and having great experiences changes you as a person both physically and mentally, you give out a positive vibe because you are happy and people will be drawn to you. In this state you can make the best choices for you, without any limiting beliefs holding you back, you will attract someone like yourself which will be a good thing in your state. And when you do you will have the confidence to act upon it.

Q How to approach someone and strike up a conversation?

Don’t take it to seriously it isn’t the be all and end all,
Think about the worst that could happen and also the best.
Approach people you don’t find attractive to build your confidence Approach people of the same sex as well to get into the swing of networking. Be yourself, you don’t have to be perfect.

Q How do I attract the opposite sex?


in no particular order;


Men to attract women

1) Take an interest in her
(Have something else to ask her once you worked out her vital stats and her relationship status)

2) Have an opinion


Which extends past who will win the FA cup and the price of beer)


3) Have interests


(which are varied and can be discussed among the opposite sex)


4) A good sense of humour

5) Take care of your body
(Look good feel good and you will be seen as prime husband material (don’t worry husband is a figure of speech)

6) Compliment a women – in moderation
(To much sugar will not benefit you and she will begin to think you are being insincere)

7) Take the lead


(Don’t leave all the decisions to her)

8) Be open about your life
(Have a plan it shows ambition and responsibility an added advantage for women who are looking to settle down)

9) Have money


(The more the better)

“ I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine - we were both crazy about girls.” Groucho Marx

Women to attract Men


1) Breathe (To attract desperate men is all you need to do)

2) Smile often
(If you like someone look into his eyes for at least 5sec should give him the message)

3) Be feminine or appear so. Take care of your appearance


4) It is ok to approach someone


(If your intuition tells you its ok, see what men have to go through)

5) Give compliments
(It is a free and indicates to the man that you like him, it is also easier for both parties to move on without embarrassment if he does not feel the same way.)

6) Show of your assets
(With the type of person you are looking for in mind. This will enable you to send out the right message to the right men for you)

7) Be respectful
(If you turn down a dance in a club with a diva strop remember the man of your dreams may have been watching you and your antics may have put him of approaching you.)

8) If you are interested show it


(A lot of men are not able to pick up the subtle signs and signals that women give of)


9) Have a personality looks will only get you so far


10) Don’t take yourself to seriously

11) Don’t think to far ahead
(Men get scared if after the 2nd date your talking about moving in marriage and kids, take one step at a time)

For Men and women

Talk about your values and your ideal partner, scenarios (if you are interested in them. If the feeling is mutual they will try to implement some of what you have said. This is a good way to see if they like you.

Go with the flow – Flows make things easier, identify how you would like to be and come across and look for opportunities to be this way, with everyone around without discrimination. This will get peoples attention in the right way

"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love." Erich Fromm

REMEMBER YOUR STATISTICS REVEAL YOUR LOGISTICS What do your statistics say about your logistics?


In closing a poem, which sums it up apply it and you will see the changes in your life and in the type of people you attract.


Using the Law Of Attraction to change your life


Be the change you want to see Said by Ghandi but what does it mean


We have the power to change our situation Starting with ourselves we affect the nation


We have the ability to create our lives So don’t worry about unemployment and interest rates rise


This kind of thinking makes it worse We get what we think about and that empties the purse


Unless your thoughts are positive and clear Full of good intention, and love without fear


Be grateful for what you have and write a list You may be pleasantly surprised, but you will get the gist


Thanking the universe will give you more Doing the opposite closes the door


This will enable you to have your wish As easily as choosing a restaurant dish


Ask away to your hearts content Be careful what you wish for and check your intent


Learn and apply the principles each day Because the “Law of Attraction” is here to stay.


Date manifested


Remit Same Difference Why?
Statement of Intent
Your Personal Cosmic Order


Topics/ Remit


In no particular order for a reason which I will give below;

Children/ adoption/ None Marriage
Own home
Ideal place to live
Education background Family
Goals, aspirations

To find out more about the Coaching service I offer, and an informal chat with no obligations, contact me using any of the details below.
FREE 15min taster sessions are also available
I am also open to discussing any new business ideas relating to joint ventures, partnerships, networking etc.

Roger Millar
Life, Success, Spiritual Coaching 7Ask7
P.O Box 833

Tel: 020 8357 9294
Mob: 07946 253446
Email: Web:

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