As I walk back to my room I feel my heart breaking with every step I take. I don't have time to cry right now I need to suck it up. I close my door and walk to the closet I take out my luggage and put away the envelopes with the money. I change into some sweats and a hoodie. I change my high heels for some running shoes. I walk over to my desk and open up my notebook to start writing.
Dear Papi,
By the time you read this letter I will be long gone.
This has been the toughest decision I have ever had to make it's not easy leaving you behind. I didn't make this decision over night this is some thing I have been planing of doing for a very long time now. I can't count how many nights I have stayed up thinking of doing this but never had the guts to do it until now. I want you know that I love you daddy with all my heart and I will always love you no matter what. Your my dad and the only parent I have ever known. I want to thank you for everything you have done for me please know that I appreciated it but I can't keep living like this no more. I have never told you this but the day that I found out the truth about who you were devastated me. Do you know what it feels like to get your heart broken by the one person that should be protecting you from it? God let me tell you it hurt like hell. You was suppose to be the one to help me through my first heart break not cause it. I had no one to help me nurse my heart back to normal. Everything I thought I knew about you ended up being a lie. It's not like I haven't tried looking the other way trust me I have but I can't keep pretending like nothing is wrong. I refuse to keep living like this. I'm not made for this life I know I can't ask you to drop everything for me because I know that you can't and I understand that. I hope you can understand and respect my decision. I don't want this life dad I want some thing different for me. Remember when you ask me what I wanted for my birthday? Well this is my birthday wish I want you to let me go. Please dad don't go looking for me I'll be fine don't worry. After all I am my father's daughter. I need this dad please let me have it. This isn't about you dad it's about me wanting to be free to be normal for once. I love you daddy always and for ever don't ever forget that.
Love you always
Your Princess.
I fold the paper and give it a kiss before placing it on top of my bed. There is so much more I want to say to him but I can't write all of it down I don't have time. For the first time this night I let myself cry I can't hold it no more. How much suffering can some one hold until they break? I cried my eyes out until I ran out of tears. I knew this was going to be hard but I had no idea how hard it really was. I know deep down this is the only way out of this mess but it doesn't make the pain go away. My father is the only parent I have left and I'm the only thing he has left of mom. I know that by me leaving I will destroy him. I might even lose him and then I would really be an orphan. Enough Jane stop trying to talk your self out of doing this. If I keep thinking this way I might just change my mind and stay. I clean my tears it's now or never. I walk to the door and crack it open I hear people laughing and talking with music in the background I close and lock the door. I peak out the window and to my advantage there is no one outside. I grab my luggage and throw out the window. I run to my bed and start to tie my sheets together. I tie one end to my bed frame and the other end I throw it out the window. I seen this in a movie once I just hope I am not to heavy for this. My stomach starts to turn, my hands are shaky and I break in to a cold sweat. I can't believe I'm really doing this. I have dream of doing this so many nights but never thought I would go through with it. I breath in and out trying to control my nervous and I take the last look around my room. This is where I grew up, where I had so many sleep overs with Sammy, where I got my heart broken for the first time, where I cried my self to sleep so many endless night. I have to leave all this behind me. I sit on the edge of the window and look down I am so thankful that my room is on the second floor because if it was a little bit higher then I wouldn't have the guts to go through with it. I wipe my clammy hands on my sweats.
Here goes nothing I wrap my legs and hands around the sheets and I slowly start to slide down. My hands start to burn due to how hard I'm holding on to the sheets. My arms start to quiver under the pressure of my weight I really need to work on my arms. “She is really fucking hot” I hear some one say. I freeze on the spot as two drunk guys pass by.
“Yeah Raul is one lucky bastard” the other one says. Please don't turn around please don't turn around I prayed. I hear the sheet tearing and my eyes go straight to where the sheet is ripping. Fuck if I fall from here I'm going to break my neck. My hands are so sweaty that they start slipping. I know I shouldn't panic but I can't help it. I start to kick my legs in the air trying to hold on to the sheet. I look back and thankfully no one is there. I quickly return to slide down before the sheet rips all the way. I am only a few ft away when the sheet finally rips and I fall on my feet twisting my ankle. “Fuck” I cry. That shit hurts but I don't have time to duel on it right now. I reach for my luggage and start running. Every time I put pressure on my ankle it feels like I am getting stab by millions of tiny needles but I can't focus on that right now. All I can think about right now is running and getting away. There is so many cars in front of my yard that they keep me hidden from any one. My ankle is killing me I can't even walk right I have to limp. I'm not going to be able to run with my ankle like this. My plan was to run all the way to a bus stop and go from there but that isn't going to work now. I'm going to have to steal a car. I have never stole anything in my life but drastic times call for drastic measures. I went through all the cars until I find one that wasn't lock. “Thank you Jesus” I open the door and hot wire the car. Thanks you Sammy she was the one who taught me how to hot wire a car. I have no idea how she learn to do that. She is full of surprises that one. As soon as the car starts I hit the gas petal and speed the fuck out of there. I feel the adrenaline running through my body. This is what people must feel like when they are running away from the feds. I feel so alive I have never done anything like this before. I press down on the gas petal I need to put as much distant between that house and me as I can. I don't even know where I am going to be honest. I never thought I was going to get this far. I can drive until I run out of gas but then it would be easier for them to find me. I only have a few hours until they find the letter. I need to take advantage of every minute the best way I can. Think Jane think. The only way I can get far far away from here in a few hours is by an airplane. Why didn't I think about that before? Usually the airport is a good 30 minute drive I made it there under 20 minutes. Thankfully there was no cop around or else it would be a different story. When I finally reach the airport I give the valet the keys and run inside. “Good morning madam how my I assist you today?” a blond woman greets me as I make my way to her. “Can I buy the first available ticket going anywhere” I say out of breath. She stares at me like I lost my mind “Sure but that can be a little expensive”. I roll my eyes at her she thinks I can't afford it she has no idea.
“I know I didn't ask you for the price” I say pissed off. “Of course I am sorry madam is this a one way ticket or a round trip?” she ask looking at her screen. “A one way ticket” I answer. I don't ever want to come back. “Okay” she keeps her eyes on the screen as I look around to make sure no one followed me. I put my hoodie on trying to block my face. I must look crazy with the way I'm acting you might think that I killed some one. I'm so close to freedom that it scares me. “The next available flight is in 30 minutes they are actually boarding now you made it just in time” she smiles at me. “Okay I'll take it how much?” I reach for the envelopes.
“It would be 500 plus 25 for the luggage”. Damn she wasn't joking when she said it was going to be expensive. I hand her the money and one of my fake ID. It takes her about 5 minutes to put in the computer but it seems like an hour to me. She doesn't know that every minute counts. “Thank you have a wonderful and safe flight. Your exit is on the right”
she hands me my ticket and ID. I take out the envelope with the cash and the one Nina gave me before I hand her my luggage. I walk towards my exit looking around to make sure I haven't been found. I hate feeling so paranoid. “May I have your ticket please?” the ticket person ask me. I hand her over my ticket never reading my destination. I really don't care where I am going as long as it's far far from here.
“Thank you” she hands it back and grants me access to board the plane. I couldn't get into the plane any faster than I did.
“Good morning mam sorry we don't have a seat reserve for you this morning but you can pick any seat that is available”
the air hostesses greats me as I board the plane. “It's fine and thank you” I walk to the first available seat that I lay eyes on.
I'm so glad it's a window seat. I buckle my self up and send a little pray.
Dear God,
Please protect me on my new adventure please don't let my father find me and please don't let this plane fall .
Amen
I see my reflection on the window and I look exactly how I feel. Crazy. My eyeliner is smudge all over my eyes. I take the corner of my hoodie and clean my face. I have to calm my self down before people start noticing me. Every once in a while a glance out the window making sure no one is standing there like Michel Meyers waiting for me. I feel like my life has turned in to a horror movie running away from the killer who always finds their victim no matter how far they run. Why is this plane taking for ever to depart? I have eaten all my nails by now. “Good morning everyone. My name is Chad and I'll be your pilot for today I hope you guys enjoyed your stay in Las Vegas. Hopefully you still have a place to live. Our destination this beautiful morning is New York City the Big Apple. We will arrive in 5 hours please sit back and enjoy the ride and no there are no snakes on this plane. A little humor this morning over and out”. I hear people laughing around me but I am so nervous to understand the joke. All I feel right now is pain due to my ankle it's pumping like if it had it's own pulse. I look down and it's swollen it looks like I'm growing a second head down there. I hope I didn't break it because that would be just my luck. Once the plane raises up and leaves the ground all I feel is relief. I feel like the world was just lifted off my shoulder. I am free at last! I did it I actually did it. I can't believe it. I start to laugh out of joy mix with nerves. For the first time since I been sitting here I notice that some one is seating next to me. He must think that I'm crazy “No snakes on the plane” I say finally getting the joke. He gives me a small smile and quickly looks away. I don't blame him who wants to be sitting next to the crazy girl who looks like death but is laughing? I don't care what any one thinks right now all I care is that I am free. For now of course who knows for how long but I am going to enjoy every second I can. I am going to New York where no dream is to big or to small, where the city never sleeps, where you fall in love. I can't wait to start my new free life. I need to keep myself busy so I reach for Nina's envelope I have been dying to see what's inside. Oh my god my eyes bug out that's a lot of money.
Why would Nina give me so much money for my birthday? I reach for the letter and tuck the envelope inside the other one. I unfold the letter and start reading it.
Dear butterfly,
My sweet sweet baby Jane, did I ever tell you how well I know you? You can't hide nothing from me baby. Since the moment that I walked inside your room and found you sorting your cloths I knew what you were thinking of doing.
I'm actually surprise that you haven't tried doing it earlier.
When I stare into your eyes this morning I saw the same look of determination as your mother. I knew that there was no turning back for you. You're so much like your mom and you don't even know it. You weren't born for this life style and you definitely weren't meant to be cage up. Butterflies are meant to be free and to fly all over the place just like you.
You are meant to expand your horizon, to spread your wings and fly to find your own happiness. Go out there and eat the world. Be happy, live, love, laugh, and cry. Remember baby in life it's not important how many times you fall down what counts is how many times you stand back up. I want you to have this money it's some of my life savings take it and start your new life. The only pay back that I want is for you to be happy. I love you always and forever. I will pray for you every night baby
Love you always
Nina
By the time I finish reading the letter I am crying my eyes out all over again. I press the letter to my chest she knew all along what I was planning on doing and she never try to stop me or even snitch me out. No one has never compare me to my mother before. That is the best compliment I have ever herd. I look like my mom. The guy next to my hands me a napkin “Are you one of those people that doesn't have a place to live?”. I take the napkin and bust out laughing “Some thing like that”. Now that I think about it I really don't have a place to live. “Hey remember the only rule in Vegas”
he says. “Which is?” I clean my tears. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” he answer. I smile because he has no idea how true that saying is for me. I'm no longer Jane Santana the daughter of the famous “El Rey” from now on I'll be Jane Carter just like it's states on my ID. I fold the letter and tuck it away. “You're right” I close my eyes and daze out
***************************************
“Please stay in your seat and buckle up we will be landing shortly thank you” the voice of the pilot wakes me up. How long have I been sleeping? I didn't even know how tired I was I guess everything that happen finally caught up to me.
“Excuse me,” I turn to the man beside me “can you tell me what time is it?”. He looks down to his watch yeah he actually has a watch on “It's a little pass 10 and my name is Mark by the way” he extends his hand. “I'm Jane” I shake his hand. Mark looks like he is in his late 20's. He is actually pretty good looking he has dark short hair, with dark chocolate brown eyes, and a warm friendly smile. “Nice to meet you Jane. Are you here for vacation?” he ask. “No actually I am here to stay” I say with excitement. “Really?”
one of his eyebrow lifts up “Well let me be the first one to welcome you to this beautiful city. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need a job or a friend give me a call” he hands me a card with his name and number. “Thank you so much and I'll keep that in mind” I tuck the card inside my pocket. If every one is as friendly as Mark then I have a good feeling about New York. “Thank you for flying with us this morning I hope you enjoyed the flight and enjoy this beautiful city that is New York over and out”.