I have always been daddy's little girl especially since I'm his only child and I loved it. I loved being the center of his world. He would spoiled me with everything I wanted. I never met my mother she died when I was a toddler. I don't know how she died and every time I asked my dad he would avoid the topic so I stop asking. All I know about my mother is that her name was Catherine she had me at age 15. My father was 17 at the time. She died at the age of 18. When I was only 3 so I really don't have any memories of her.
Everyday I try to remember her but I always come out empty handed. It's funny how I can remember some thing so non important like the day I lost my first tooth. I was 5 years old and was eating an apple. I even remember the color of the apple which was green. I took a bite of the apple and when I pull back my tooth was still in it. I can remember that but I can't remember my mom. I can't even remember what she looks like and it's not like I have a picture of her. My father made sure nothing was left of her after she died. I guess it was to painful for him to remember her. If it hurts me that I have no memory of her I can just imagine how much it hurts him. Part of me thinks that my father spoils me as much as he does because he wants to make up for the fact that I don't have a mom. Even tho I never had a mom my dad made sure that I always felt love. I had a typical childhood my father always try his best to be there for me when I needed him although most of the time he was busy working. I don't remember him having any girlfriends. Which is weird because my father is still young and very handsome. He is about 6'2, light hazel eyes, short brown hair, and if I might say so myself he is fit for an old man. Well like I said he isn't that old he is 37 soon to be 38. If you ask me I think the reason why he never dates it's because he still is in love with my mom. Which I think it's so romantic. Growing up I was always surrounded by armed men. At first I thought it was pretty cool it made me feel like some one really important to the world. When I was about 7 I asked my father why we always had armed men around us. He said “They are here to protect you after all you are a princess”. Of course in that time I really did believe I was a princess. I lived in this huge house that looked like a castle, we had maids, every one treated me like a princess, and they even called my father king. My life was a fairy tail everything was fine until the day I found out the real reason why they called him “El Rey”.
My father is one of the top most wanted drug dealer in America. His code name is “El Rey”. No girl wants to believe that their daddy, who is suppose to be their knight and shiny armor, is actually the big bad dragon. I lived in a bubble full of lies until I was 16 I remember it like if it was just yesterday.
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“Dad how come we never go out?” I ask my dad who is eating his dinner. We have all this money but we never go out. We are one of the richest family in Las Vegas my father owns many business. Including his own casinos if that's not rich than I don't know what rich is. My father has his own collection of brand new cars. Every year my father buys the newest car models that comes out and gives the old ones away to his employees. To top it off we lived in a huge house no scratch that a mansion. If my father really wanted too he could own a whole country. “Princess why would you want to go out? You have everything you need in here. You have your own movie theater, bowling alley, mall, gym, swimming pool inside and out. What else do you need?” he asked. I know he is right I do have all I need in here heck if I wanted my own Disney World I would have it but that's not the point. I've learned the hard way that you can have everything you want and still not be happy. “Friends,” I say annoyed “I am a teenager I should be able to go out and do teen stuff”. What's the point of having all of this if I have no one to share it with? Have you ever try bowling by yourself?
Well let me tell you it's boring. This house feels so big and lonely with just me in it. My father is always busy working so it's only me and Nina, my nanny. Nina has been with me since I can remember. I love having her around but some times I wish I had some one my own age to hang out with. I have Sammy but she is 3 years younger than me. At that moment Brians, my father's personal assistant, walks in with Poppy, his body guard, dragging a man. The man is cover in blood. “Oh my Gosh! Some one call the ambulance” I yelled to one of the maids. What the hell is going on? What happen to him? I try getting up to help him but my legs aren't responding. I have never seen so much blood before. My stomach feels quizzy and I feel all color leaving my face.
“What the hell Brains?,” my dad asks furious as he walks over to me “You better have a good damn reason to bring that garbage around Jane”. Garbage? I can't believe what I am hearing. What is my dad talking about that's a man! A human being for crying out loud. I stared at my dad in disbelieve why isn't he freaking out? Why is he calling that poor man garbage? Why does he sound mad instead of worry? And why in the hell is any one getting him some help! “Jane Princess snap out of it” I hear my dad's voice but I can't move. My body and mind is still in shock. All I can focus on is that poor man cover in blood. My mind is telling me to look away but my body refuses to listen. Is he even breathing? “Senor Rey,” I hear Brain “I'm sorry I had no idea Misses. Jane was here”. Where in the hell would I be?
Everyone knows I'm not allow to go out. Wait is this what happens behind my back? “Get him out of here and clean up that mess. I'll deal with you later” my father barked. Brains nods as they turn to leave the man lifts up his head and our eyes lock. His eyes are fill with pain and fear. My stomach turns I think I'm going to be sick. I try to look away but I can't his eyes are begging me to help him. What should I do?
Should I call the cops? How can I help him when I can't even move? My eyes follow his blood as it drips down his face onto the floor. His blood is forming a small puddle underneath him. My eyes travel up his face until I find his eyes again. That's the last thing I remember before everything goes dark. “Princess wake up” I hear my father's voice but it sounds far away. Oh god what is that smell? It's so strong. I move my head to the side trying to get away from that smell. “That's it princess smell it” my dad said. This has to be the most disgusting smell ever. I open my eyes and find my dad and Nina staring at me every thing looks blurry “What happen?”. My head is pounding so hard it feels like some one is hitting me with a hammer. All I want to do is pop it off. I try to sit up but everything starts to spin so I lay back down. “Princess you fainted” my dad says calmly.
What? Why would I fainted? That doesn't make sense and then everything comes rushing back. “Holly shit!” I quickly sit up causing everything to spin again. I remember the blood, the man asking for help. “What happen to the poor man?” I whisper afraid of what the answer will be. “Watch your language Jane you are a young lady and that's no way to speak” my father frowns. Is he kidding me? He is worry about my language when there is or was a dying man downstairs. I lift my head and sarcastically say “I am sorry where is-”
“Don't worry about that princess just rest. I'll be back later to check on you” he interrupts me before I finish my sentence.
Why is he avoiding my questions? He walks out like if nothing happen like if I had never seen the man. Nina gives me a small smile and turn to leave. Oh no she don't. “Nina,” I grab her hand “what's going on?” She smiles and caresses my cheek “Nothing butterfly”. I know there is something going on here I'm no fool. Lately I have notice that they are keeping things from me. I can read Nina and my dad like a book so I don't know why they even try hiding things from me.
“Don't lie to me Nina not you, you always tell me the truth” I beg. If there is anyone that I can trust to tell me what's going on it's her. “I'm afraid I'm not the one that has to tell you the truth this time” she pats my hand and I feel disappointed.
“Nina please” I give her my sad puppies eyes that I have master since I was 5. That look has gotten me any thing I wanted from that day on. “Butterfly you know I love you as if you were my own. Trust me when I say let this one go” she squeezed my hand before leaving. It must be something huge if Nina is trying to keep it from me. If there is anything that Nina or anyone should already know about me is that I never let anything go. Once there is a question in my mind I don't rest until I find the answers. I always find out what I want to know. You know I never really understood why they called my dad king. Now that I'm older I know for a fact that we aren't royalty. So why do they call him that? Maybe it's a nickname. I don't even think they know his real name. I reach under my bed for my laptop to Google “El Rey”. When ever there is something I don't know I always Google it. As soon as I type in the nickname a million of headlines pops up. Seriously where the hell have I been? I click on the first link and start reading. I can't believe what I'm reading this is horrible. There is no way that this man “El Rey” can be my father. He is a monster, murder, kidnapper, a drug dealer. I click on the next link and on the next they get worst by the page. This can't be right. I search for a picture but nothing comes up. Apparently no one has ever seen this man's face and who ever has they end up missing. I need answers and the only one that can give them to me is my dad. My father can't be this man there is no way I need to hear him denied this. I jump off the bed almost tripping over my rug and run downstairs to his office. There is two armed men standing in front of his office and I walk towards them. I have no time to deal with these two right now I need to get to my dad. “Get out of my way I need to speak to my father” I rush pass them.
One of them stretch his arm out for me not to pass “I am sorry Miss. Jane but he is busy right now”. Busy? He is never busy for me. They should now better than that. I roll my eyes out of annoyance “I am his daughter and if you two want to keep your jobs then you'll let me through”. I hate acting like a spoil brat but they leave me no other choice. He looks over to the other man asking for permission but he shakes his head “Sorry Miss. Jane I'll tell him you stop by”. What? Are they serious right now? They aren't going to let me pass? I'm so mad I feel like breaking their necks. I might be only 5'2 and weight about 130 but I can sure kick some ass. Thanks to my father insisting me to take kickboxing classes I can kick some serious ass. My dad thinks that every girl should know how to protect themselves just in case they need to. I know I can't beat them but I can give them a hell of a run for their money. But all they are doing is their jobs and it wouldn't be fare to take out my frustration on them. “Fine just tell him to come see me as soon as he can” I spin around not giving them a chance to answer. Half way to my room my stomach growls now that I remember I didn't eat my dinner. I should go get something to eat as I walk to the kitchen I hear screaming and a noise that sounds like a chain saw. Is some one watching a horror movie? I love scary movies. Should I follow the noise or go make some thing to eat? You know how in every movie there is the dumb girl that follows the noise while you are yelling at her to walk the other way? Well that girl will be me. I follow the noise and it leads me to the backyard. Who would be watching a movie in the back yard? I peak through the glass door and what I see takes my breath away. “Please I am sorry it won't happen again I promise” the man cries. He is still alive but he is tied up to a tree. Poppy is standing to his right carrying a chainsaw. What in the world is going on? Am I in some kind of freaking nightmare. My heart is beating so hard and my eyes are starting to get fill with tears. I want to walk away but my feet are glue to the floor. What is going on with my mind and body today it seems like they can't get along. “You're right it won't happen again,” he yanks back the string and the chainsaw roars to life. My body starts to shake. “See you in hell” Poppy smirks. He isn't going to do what I think he is. Is he? “No please don't I'm sorry” the man yells. Poppy runs the chainsaw across the man's neck ignoring him. I hear the man screaming for help and I cover my mouth with my shaky hands to keep me from joining him. My eyes fill up with tears as I watch how the man's head drops to the ground. Oh god I'm diffidently about to be sick any moment now. I can't believe what I just saw. Poppy turns his head to where I'm standing and I run to my room before he can see me. Oh god did he see me? If he did is he going to kill me? I close the door behind me and thrown my self in my bed. I bury my face into the pillow and let out the scream that has been dying to come out. My body starts to shake as I sob. My mind is on overdrive trying to understand what I have just saw. I keep replaying over and over again what just happen. I have never been so scare in my life all I want to do is hide under my covers. After what seems like a life time I finally get my self together. I need to stay strong if I am going to face my dad. Now more than ever I need to know the truth. There is a knock on my door and my soul jumps out of my body. I'm still shook from what I saw earlier. My father walks in the room “Princess I herd you wanted to talk to me” he is calmer than I have ever seen him.
I grab my pillow and put it in front of me. I have to play with something to keep my nerves on check. Every time I'm nervous about something I always have to have something in my hands. “Sit dad” I nod to the chair. I need to find the right way to confront him. I can't even manage to look at him right now with out crying. My emotions are all over the place I'm mad, sad, confuse, scare, hurt, angry, all in one. I can't be sitting down right now I need to be moving. I stand and start to pace around trying to find a way to start this conversation it's not everyday you have to confront your drug dealer of a father. “Your going to make a hole in the carpet” he teased. “Okay” I pull a chair to sit next to him. I need to look at him straight in the eyes to make sure he won't lying to me. “I need you to tell me the truth no matter how bad it is I need to know” I say. He stares into my eyes “I promise”. I know he is telling the truth. Her goes nothing I take in a big breath “What is your occupation?”. I play with my hands trying to keep my eyes on him. He stayed quite for a few seconds debating if he should tell me the truth, that I all ready know, or to keep lying. The suspense is killing me every second feels like a minute and every minute feels like an hour. I don't know which one would hurt more him lying to me or him telling me the truth. “I am a drug lord” he finally spoke. The little hope I was holding on to just died. It's one thing to think you know some thing and a different thing to really know it. My heart hurts it feels like every time it pumps instead of sending blood it sends pain. I can't move, tears are falling down my face uncontrollably, I can't react.
My whole world just came crushing down on me in matter of seconds. Everything that I thought about my childhood has been a lie. How could he do something like that to me?
Maybe he should of just keep lying to me because the truth hurts like hell. “Jane baby listen to me” he reaches for my hand but I pull it away from him. I don't want him to touch me right now. I don't even know who this man in front of me is. “You're el-” I can't even finish my sentence. “Jane let's talk about this. I'll answer all your questions but you have to talk to me” he plead. I can hear the sadness in his voice but it doesn't do nothing for me. Now he wants to talk. He had all this time to tell me the truth but he didn't. He waited for me to find out on my own. “You want to talk about how you're a murder? A monster?” my voice comes out wobbly thanks to the crying. I can see how much my words hurt him but I don't care I want him to feel the same way I do. I want him to feel crush, hurt, and devastated. I don't want to be the only person in this room with her heartbroken. “No! Jane” he moves closer to me “I am none of that. I'm your father the same father that loves, cares, and adores you. The same father that you ran to every time you were scare. The same father who gave you everything you wanted. The same father that would give his life to protect you. Nothing has change I'm Jose Santana your father. El Rey is some one else that you will never meet”. What in the world is he saying?
He would give up his life to protect me but he just fail to do so. He didn't protect me from his lies. He didn't protect me from the only person who could hurt me himself. How can you be two different people I don't understand. I have no energy to keep fighting with him this is getting us no where.
I'm not in the right state of mind to keep arguing with him.
“Okay dad” I end up saying. He pulls me into a hug but I don't return it. I'm to numb to feel anything. My hands are glue to my side I can't move them. He gives me a kiss on the forehead “Te amo Jane”. Does words cut me deep inside before they would make me feel happy and important but right now they hurt more than anything else. “I love you too dad” my voice sounds dead just like me. My dad gives me a squeeze and walks out of the room leaving me with my pain.
Once he was out of my room I let go of everything that I was holding in. I cried for the life that I once had. I cried because everything has change life as I knew it was gone. I cried for my father and me. I cried for the man who lost his life. That was the start of my new life.