Chapter 23

Mourning

I felt stiff all over as I woke up to the radio morning show on my alarm clock. My eyes puffy. It took me a second to get my mind in place. I had that awful empty feeling in my gut and I couldn’t think of a reason to get up. I tried focusing, remembering things that only a few days ago really mattered to me. My job, I loved my job, didn’t I?

Yet, I couldn’t muster the effort to lift myself up. I felt heavier somehow. Empty and heavy, how did that work I wondered?

I lay there for a few minutes thinking things over. Could I call Christine and tell her there was a family emergency? Maybe not, she’d question me about it and I was such a bad liar. Could I call in sick? I certainly felt sick. Then again, was it really good for me to just lie here in self pity? No. I let the logical part of me take over. I’d try and push down these emotions for now, get through the day and later I would decide how to best handle this