Then, when Donald was least expecting to find the love of his life, Surina appeared to him. Surina was a beautiful girl of Indian descent who grew up in the U.K. She had a master’s degree from Cambridge, and worked for the Mumbai programs at CARE as well. The minute Donald saw her he knew she would become his wife. She had the mild and kind demeanor that Donald found so attractive, but none of the despair or aimlessness he had come to associate with women who “needed” him.
Surina “needed” him, indeed, but in a different way. She had fallen in love with Donald. Here, at last, was a worthy woman.
If you’re having a hard time listing down or envisioning what you want in a prospective partner, use the mind-mapping method! You’ll get a clearer picture of what you want.
Now, there is nothing wrong with knowing what you want. You are supposed to specify it to yourself—and the universe at large!
Write it all down, or create a mind-map of it all, and post
it somewhere where only you can see it, but see it often. This way you can really focus on what you are looking for. Spend at least 5 minutes in the morning, and 5 minutes before you go to bed focusing on this profile of your desired mate.
Believe 100% that you are good enough to meet this person, and that you will find the love of your life. When close
matches start presenting themselves to you, take charge and take initiative to act on the potential match.
Perhaps you originally had a blond-haired man or woman mapped out, but you suddenly meet a dark-haired beauty who exceeds everything you had mapped out and more—now is the blond hair really relevant? Remember, you are in control of what comes your way. And when opportunity presents itself, you need to act on it. A quick decision is always better than no decision at all. By being decisive, you are in control, and you can alter your plan as and when you feel.
Part 2: Scouting Method
Dating is a little like shopping or canvassing different product suppliers for the best price. You need to do some reconnaissance or scouting around to check who your prospects are likely to be, before you actually move in.
But first, you need to review your date-finding strategy. How have you been trying to meet or find someone? (And
do you actually have a strategy to meet someone, or are you hiding away?) Where do you end up spending most of your scouting time? Review your “batting average” from these places. How many dates did you actually get? More importantly, how many of them were good people you’d seriously go out with again?
If there’s one place you shouldn’t run to for dates, it’s a “singles” bar. Think of all the happy weddings you've been to and all the speeches you've heard. Honestly, how often do you
hear the bride claim that she had met and fell in love with her groom in a bar? The bar is a social setting for people seeking attention. A lot of times it's a place filled with bored, broken
or unhappily married people who are miserable at home and want to prove that they still have what it takes to attract people. So they go to the bar, aimlessly looking for someone who can give them “attention” without any consequences or “strings” attached.
So why do singles keep coming to bars for dates? Two words: alcohol and marketing. It’s a business and the bar owner has to make a profit. Yes, he’s the only one in that situation who profits.
Your time is valuable, and so is the environment that you put yourself in. Remember that you are actually working at meeting the love of your life. Consider this a job that you are dedicated to giving 100% effort. You are dating with purpose, and you are open to meeting this person at all times.
Where to find this person isn't the question you should be asking yourself. The questions you should be asking are:
Are you surrounding yourself in a positive network?
Are you empowering your mind and body with good books, and exercise?
Are your finances under control to reduce stress? Are you giving back with no expectation of receiving in
return?