• You want someone who will stay the course. We’re talking about sustaining a long term relationship, not a short term one.
• You want someone who will share the same religious beliefs that you have, with the same dedication that you have to that religious belief
• You want your partner to value the importance of family, and have the same timeframe you have on important issues like marriage and children.
Ask yourself as well what personality traits you’d like to see in your prospective partner. (This is actually the easiest part to do.) Although personality traits are just mere packaging, they still contribute much to the harmony within a relationship. So ask yourself thousands of little specific questions:
Should he or she like engaging in sports, more than watching opera?
Must he or she be prone to reading books, or prone to sky- diving?
How much risk-taking should my partner engage in?
Do I like an adventurer, or do I prefer a more predictable planner?
Should my partner know how to cook (because I don’t)? Should he or she be a strong and persuasive person, or
would that kind of personality clash with mine?
How do I feel about people who are rather formal in their ways? Do I truly want that in my partner?
Do I want someone meek and mild?
Will I work and live well with a person who tends to lead all the time?
Do I want the life of the party? Or do I want someone who’s content to be in the wings?
Do I place much value in physical appearances and poise? How much?
Do I want someone stunning and glamorous? Or will I
settle for someone with a quiet charm?
But here’s something you must always remember when dreaming up your prospective partner: never put the same weight on character traits, values and personality traits. Character traits and values are more important than personality traits. You could end up being too picky with personality and personal appearance, and not be picky enough with values and character.
26 year-old Jillian, for instance, was very much into men with impeccable taste in clothes—not too flashy, not too drab, just right and oh so smart. She also knew character was more important, but at first was rather picky with the way her dates had to “look”. Yet, she ended up marrying a guy named Daniel who, during their first date, wore an old-fashioned bow tie.