The 5th Commandment

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

It may seem like a no-brainer to honor the very people who raised you, but nowadays, it can be harder than ever to do so for a variety of reasons.

First off, the art of parenting is swiftly becoming a neglected pastime at best. So many kids are being left to their own devices due to their parents’ work stress, other commitments (some non-essential, unfortunately), addictions to things like alcohol, drugs, and social media, and a poor roadmap through parenting courtesy of their own parents.

This can make it pretty easy to blow off one’s parents (whether biological, adoptive, foster, step, or legal guardians), but then for those of us who follow Jesus, we have to remember one glaring truth: He loved us when we were less than lovable.

So then, what does this tangibly look like?

Well, we first have to remember that love isn’t a feeling. It isn’t an emotion. It’s a choice. It’s the willingness to sacrifice for the good of one another. This is actually a gift because we can still accomplish it (with the Holy Spirit’s help) even when we don't feel very loving towards people who haven’t always been perfect.

Secondly, we need to determine what boundaries, if any, need to be set. Not every parent is “safe,” and God isn’t asking us to put ourselves in harm’s way. Being a parent should mean being an individual who provides loving care to a child, and when quite the opposite is accomplished, children (whether young or old) must determine with God’s help (and with the help of other adults, in the case of younger children) where the lines are drawn. 

However, there might be things that can be done to honor our Lord by honoring our parents from a distance. Maybe this means making sure our parents aren’t living on the streets. Maybe it’s helping them pay their bills if we have the funds to do so. These decisions are personal, and by no means is everyone’s situation the same. Sometimes, “honoring” will look different from one family to the other.

What is always constant is God’s great love and care for us, and the fact that He will never leave our sides, especially as we navigate relationships with those closest to us.

Search me, God, and know my heart.

What does your relationship with your parents look like? Does knowing God loves us even when we’re the most unlovable move your heart in how you see those who raised you? What boundaries, if any, would be God-honoring in your situation? Take some time to think and pray about how you can honor your parents better to better glorify God.