Born a Texacan and virtually raised to be a hillbilly in the foothills of Tennessee. I started life off as an independent little cuss, to graduate to a full blown, mischievous, insecure, but fun loving teenager. Even the people in Tennessee said that I talked and sounded like a backwoods hick and I guess I still do.
When a feller goes through some of the stuff that I had to, anyone might learn to not put so much emphasis on what others say. Polio did play a major part in my growing up years and probably still does, but now, I take this defect as an attribute. It has given me an insight in the things and people of this world, that I very much needed. I know the pain of others and the struggles of overcoming them.
I think as a young child and as a young adult, I did just about every knot-headed stunt that a Knuckle-head could do. I just wasn’t that afraid, the mystery was more fun than the punishment could be bad, at least at this time in my life. Polio did help me to see that I could get along without so many people around me, but still can have a detrimental effect in the rules of relationships, as far as my boy-hood years was concerned. And in boy-hood, I mean until I grew to be a man at the age of forty-three.
If not for getting caught stealing, who knows what would have happened, so I take that it, as God took this piece of stupidity and turned it into a life changing incident.
I sure had fun in my school years, was a sort of happy-go-lucky kinda guy, but when I got married something triggered that “I just got the pee-pee scared out of me” feeling that took many years to resolve.
Remember me telling you about the vision of being something about John the Baptist? This feeling or inner sign never did leave me, as I thought about him often throughout my life, and later on saw that God had given me the same Elisha spirit that John had; A voice calling from the wilderness. When I finally did quiet down my life, I could hear Gods’ voice and began to develop in His teachings that did set me apart from most people that were caught up in this world and what it has to offer. I could sit here and pretend that God didn’t treat or raise me to be any different than most religious folks, but He did. He honored my very first prayer to not allow me to be that average christian that I saw so often walking through the doors of each meeting on Sunday morning. I’m not saying by any means that I’m a better person than these, I’m certainly not, just different. Yes, I stumbled a lot and maybe even caused others to stumble, but I continued to grow in spite of all the falls.
Thought I was a man when I was not, but then again learned what a man was and still wasn’t one…..yet. I had to screw-up, I had to be stupid, I had to hurt, and I had to do every foolish thing that I did, to learn what it was to be a man, and hear Gods’ voice. It was the getting caught, and seeing the pain that I caused others, and falling down just to get back up so I could fall down again that brought my life to a place that I had to take a long sobering look at myself, be ashamed, repent (change my mind), so my life could be led by God without interference from me. He did sit me aside and showed all the things that were going on inside of me. Folks, this wasn’t pretty, when I asked God to reveal Himself to me as Judge, no sir, it wasn’t a pretty sight, but He told the truth.
For twenty something years I was an A.K.C. registered, full blown thoroughbred straight from the pit A-hole. Wasn’t proud of it, not even a little bit, but this too had be gone through before my eyes were to be opened. I’m sure that there are plenty of people out there that I hurt and don’t even know I did it, and probably didn’t care at the time, but I sure do now.
I walked away from the so called church in the mid-90’s, after several years of listening to God show me what was going on, and it was an addiction that was so very hard to break. I quit the pagan practice of celebrating Christmas and easter as they are practiced in today’s society, and have somewhat walked away from so many things this world has to offer.
I’m thinking that the called out ones should walk in the shadow of Christ and not that of man. We really are to lay down our lives and follow Him, and not the towers that man has built unto himself. The world was the inventor of these so-called holidays, they are there to entertain each other with, to pretend to do what’s right, to help make them think they are pleasing God, to appease their own self-serving appetites, so let the world have it back, where it belongs.
In the book of 1-John it says that; now we are the children of God, and what we’ll be is still unclear, but when we see Him, and we will see Him, we will be like Him and see Him as He really is. This is not a statement from our Lord of something that will happen after our life on this earth is over, but now. We already have that which Christ has given us; we have just not realized it. We each have His Man within, He is there in us, and when we finally see Him, then our lives will change, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye. We will be changed, and at that point to forever be with Him. If the Kingdom of God (and it is) is in our hearts, then we no longer have to wait as we were taught, to forever be with Him. God is the God of the living and not that of the dead.
Peter, after several years of being with the Lord night and day, still saw Him as ruler on this earth. Peter could only see Him on the outside, and when he did say that Jesus was the Christ, it was only for that short moment that Peter was out of the way of himself. A few minutes later, Peter proclaimed he was going to protect Jesus no matter what, and was rebuked by Christ to get back out of his flesh, and referred to Peter as satan. We too have traveled that same road many times, But Jesus didn’t tell us about this walk in the Kingdom because it couldn’t be achieved, but that it could. If all the good stuff happens after we die that physical death, then why do we not go ahead and die unto our self now, so that we could live His life while still on the planet?
The exploits of my life, each had significance, whether they were something I should have done or something that I shouldn’t have, led to an individual (me) that was made up of his surroundings, and I’m not completely positive that I or we had much of a choice in the matter. God has a plan for each one of us, and I’m not sure if we are capable of hindering Him, once He has set His sights on us.
So whether I was being a man of principles (a boy), while standing up for my rights while working at Y-12, or selling a truck for much less that I paid for it, or Tevin, my grandson, being born, or even laying on top of that mountain with those sparkly little flecks coming out of my mouth, all this was very important for my development, as this was my walk, and no other could walk it in my stead.
Many have asked if I’m ashamed or embarrassed about the foolishness that was in my life, and my answer is always No.
Anybody with any sense at all could see that I did as many dumb and stupid things as I could dream up. But, looking back, all had a purpose that I’d not want to live today without.
So all and all, I like myself today, have come to a peace in my life, and am satisfied with the journey that God has placed me in.
There is no way any of us can avoid problems in life, they are going to come with or without our permission. I’ve thought for a long time that problem is what makes the man, and brings him to success in life. If heeded as coming from God, we will learn from His Spirit, therefore begin that walk that was lost in the Garden of Eden.
As children of God we cannot look at things the way other people do. What the world calls evil, God meant it for our good. Each and every trouble is custom made, just for us, designed and engineered to bring us back into fellowship with God. The way that man can overcome is to quite looking at the troubles in life as satan or some bad thing that has come our way, but as a lesson in disguise, sent by and used by the God of all the universe.
The disciple Thomas had problems believing, King David had problems with Saul and lustful eyes, Moses had Pharaoh, Abel had Cain, Daniel had the lions, Shadrack had to deal with fires and brother Paul went through many tribulations such as assassins, snakes, the Romans and so-on. Even Jesus was not spared the many problems in His life. Each person in the Bible, each one of us will have our opportunities in life with trials and tribulations that will be sent our way to teach, strengthen and purge us as with fire. To bring us to place where we will either except that which God is giving us, or be left in a bewildered state, and maybe have to do it all over again. All things work together for good to those that are called up to this life, we all have our burdens to bare. Believing this, we can count it all a blessing when troubles come our way…… Do you think it might be time for the children of God to quite murmuring and whining, and turn to Him?
Certainly not saying that I’m all grown up now, or that I don’t have a ways to go. Because when I look at myself I have just begun, and have far more before me than what’s been placed behind.
Maybe……,I’m just enjoying the ride.
Can you really picture Jesus wearing a custom made suit, with diamond rings, a Rolex, patent leather shoes and chauffeured in a limousine.
Preachers involved in the Gospel to make money or to spread their own doctrine and beliefs are not going to like what was said in this book, and will therefore attempt to dispel it…… The church is the only organization I know of on earth that kills their wounded.
I’d like to express my gratitude and appreciation to my beautiful family that I love so very much. If a feller didn’t have much, but had all these wonderful people as their family, they could call themselves rich.
Andrea is my oldest child, and with her husband Deny have four great kids; Anessa, D.J. whom I call Shorty, Alex, and Analeise whom I call Dough-Nut
Susan is my youngest daughter, whom I call Lucy, and Eugene also have four great kids; Tevin, Darian, Daxia whom I call Curly Sue, and Tarris whom I call George
Matthew, my son and his wife Amy also have three great kids; Hannah the oldest and only girl, Silas, and Abram
Count ‘em folks.
That’s eleven grandchildren, if that don’t make me a rich man then I don’t know what rich is. There ain’t a throw-backs in the bunch. I’m proud of each and every one of them, and with good reason.
I thank you, all of you that read this knuckle-heads’ book, and especially thanks those that did not get too sore at me for opening up a can of worms, that I believe needed to be poured out on the table to see where they take root.
The purpose for this book was to share several stories with you that more or less are common place in many middle aged people lives, especially those with adventurous spirits. Each and every little happening in my story is just a happy little mistake or a path that nourished and nudged me into the life that God had for me from the beginning. I have no regrets because now I understand the ending. I had to go through all that crap, and feel the pain, the torment, the misery before I eyes were to be opened to the beauty of God’s mystery, while we still live on the Earth.
3d Now are we the children of God and what we”ll be is still unclear.
The world didn’t know Him, and it won’t know us, for the Fathers’ voice we here.
But we know, when we shall see Him, we shall be like Him.
For we shall see Him as He really is;
Lord of our hope, Healer of our soul,
Redeemer of our life, Holy sacrifice
The first and the last, the end of all our past. God wisdom shown to man, the Rock on which to stand.
Health, Truth and Grace, the first of His own race.
He’s manna from above, the epithet of Love The hope of every nation, in every generation,
A counselor and a guide, the Lamb was born to die.
Blessed King in glory, God’s redemption story.
The Father of all host, the captain of our souls, A Light in His own tower, the God of every power.
His name is called Emanuel, His name is called Wonderful,
Hallowed, exalted, Majestic, Everlasting Lord.
The Light of every man, that’s born into the world, The Truth, the Way, the Life, the Branch, the Tree, the Vine.
The Word of God displayed, the Son that rules the day.
He’s King of every king, He’s Lord of every lord.
Of whom the angels see, the savior of the world,
He’s the Sower of the seed, the supplier of all our needs.
He’s Health to all our bones, an anchor to the soul,
He’s the raiser of the dead, to the Body He’s the Head.
He’s light unto the blind, He calms the troubled mind.
The divider of the seas, He sets the captives free,
He’s water from the Rock, the shepherd of the flock.
The great Passover Lamb, the eternal great I AM.
The holder of the keys, He bore our sickness and disease.
A Friend that we can trust, the Voice of the burning bush.
The bearer of our cares, the scars we gave He wears.
The Light to guide our way, He’s hope for each new day.
A friend that never leaves, He beckons us with pleas. Now we are the children of God and what we’ll be is still unclear.
The world didn’t know Him and it won’t know us for the Father’s voice we hear.
But, we know when we shall see Him,
we shall be like Him,
for we shall see Him as He really is.
Kirby Dies