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Self-Help / Spiritual
I am eternally yours
The Soul ......................................................................... 15
The Spirit and Mind ...................................................... 31
The Body ....................................................................... 51
The Prayer Formula........................................................ 63
Resistance ...................................................................... 77
Negative Emotions ........................................................ 81
Six Steps to Balance ..................................................... 125
The Magical Number 12 .............................................. 135
The Example ................................................................ 145
The Vision ................................................................... 157
The Awakening ............................................................ 185
A New Belief System ................................................... 205
I’ve always felt a magnetic pull toward the spirit of a loving God—a God who would show the type of affection to me
that a mother feels toward a newborn child. This has always been the kind of relationship I have desired with my creator.
I needed to know more than what I was given from
my elders. As far back as I can remember, I was never
satisfied nor fulfilled with the answers I was receiving to my numerous questions. Deep down, I knew that God was
different than what I was being taught. I was lacking a much deeper and more loving God than the hell and brimstone
tyrant that was shown to me.
Like a treasure hunter, my quest started at the age of
nine. A bunch of us kids were playing in the neighborhood
playground when I saw a group of well-dressed people file
into a white building. I jumped off the monkey bars and
proceeded to follow the crowd. A very nice woman seated
me, and I heard my first sermon with her. Afterward she
handed me a Bible and explained to my inquisitive mind
whom Jesus was. That was in 1973, and I was well on my
way to finding gold.
I was too young to get past all the “thou shalts” and
“thou shalt nots” of the King James Version; therefore, I
left the Bible in my drawer where it would remain for years to come.
At the age of twenty-two, while serving in the United
States Navy, I had a spiritual experience. I was in a group setting, having a discussion, when out of nowhere I felt a hand touch my right shoulder from behind. I turned to
look to see who it was and saw no one there! Immediately a feeling of complete and total bliss engulfed my body,
beginning at my right shoulder area and ending at my toes.
This feeling of peace stayed with me for three days and then slowly dissipated. During that period, I truly experienced heaven on earth. I was to find out later on in life that it was the Lord Jesus himself who paid me a visit that day. This
wake-up call would be my first experience with the divine, but not my last.
I knocked the dust off my trusty Bible and read it from
cover to cover. Then I proceeded to read commentaries
about the books in the Bible until it became an obsession.
I purchased a Strong’s Concordance and a Halley’s Bible
handbook and literally memorized them. Many books I
read from wonderful authors such as Billy Graham, John
Valvoord, J. Vernon McGee, and many others.
I bounced around from church to church, apparently
asking too many questions about the Holy Father to suit
the teachers, until I would finally leave and look for another house of worship. This would go on for a few years, and
then once again, my thirst for biblical knowledge was sadly replaced by the cares of this world, completely withdrawing from the church of Christ.
This would once again change. Ten years after my
mystical experience with the hand, I received spiritual
experience number 2. In March of 1996, I was involved in
a horrific one vehicle auto accident. I was thrown from my vehicle, landed on the pavement, and ended up fracturing
my neck, cheek, nose, and knocked out several teeth. I am
very lucky to be alive today.
While I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital,
my heart stopped. What happened next was another life-
changing experience. I stared down at my lifeless body
wondering who I really was. If that body is me, then who am I now? I saw a few visions which are included in this book and was then resuscitated. It would turn out to be another life-changing experience, which would never leave me.
From that time to this, I have never wavered in my study
of the scripture. Eternally searching, forever growing.
I would have one more experience which far surpassed
anything prior which is included in the chapter of this
book, “The Awakening.” I’m still having trouble wrapping
my mind around the turn of events which have happened
during that time period.
These events can best be described as bizarre, yet true.
This book is my attempt at describing what I have come
to realize as the true nature of God, or the source and
its creation, the spirits, minds, and bodies of that which it created.
To express the power of prayer through a unique formula
of faith and resistance.
To show what we are all capable of, using Jesus as the
example for the rest of us to follow.
To give us all a vision of things to come.
I would like to thank first and foremost Jesus the Christ
for giving me a second chance time and again.
The Angels Thomas, Samuel, and Elizabeth for your
patience and kind words.
The Apostle Philip for understanding why I am the way
that I am. If anyone knows, it’s you.
The Priest and Prophet Zachariah for your dedication
to the cause.
I hope and pray everyone enjoys reading this manuscript
as much as I enjoyed writing it.
March 12, 2015
Jesus said, “If those who lead you say to you, ‘See,
the kingdom is in the sky,’ then the birds of the sky
will precede you. If they say to you, ‘It is in the sea,’
then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom
is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you
come to know yourselves, then you will become
known, and you will realize that it is you who are the
sons of the living father. But if you will not know
yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are
—Gospel of Thomas, verse 3
If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think
in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration.
This book is a message from the soul. It was given to me
to give to you. I’m fulfilling my part of the deal by writing it; now fulfill yours by reading it. Together, maybe we will make this a better world where all can live in peace and
harmony. Heaven knows the world needs a new message;
the old ways aren’t working out in our favor. Past formulas are coming up short. Past performances are lacking.
We desire a change in direction. We are in dire need of
new information that tells us all who we really are: sons and daughters of the living God. We’ve been hoodwinked into
thinking otherwise, and it’s time to lift the veil.
Many of us believe that we are a three-part being made
up of body, mind, and spirit. This is a simplified answer to a very complex being. We are much grander than this. It’s
a general misconception that I will attempt to clarify. Wish me luck.
First, saying that we are made up of body, mind, and
spirit is lacking in that we are missing a very key component to all this. Where is the soul in this answer?
Immediately there will be those who will object and
announce that the spirit and the soul are the same thing.
Oh, but they aren’t. Let me explain myself.
Let’s begin with the soul. There is but one and only one
soul in this and any other universe: the eternal soul of God.
It is omnipotent, omnipresent, and universal. The soul
has all knowledge of every life ever lived, every life living now, and every life in the future. It is power, it is glory, it is hallowed. Jesus called this soul “our father.” It’s the Supreme Being, the Alpha and Omega, and the first and
It is pure energy—the highest energy imaginable. It is
the source, the combined power of every star, planet, nova, and anything else that exists in the universe and beyond. It is first cause and last effect.
It is God. It is what men of science and religion have
been seeking for eons. And still they don’t know. Still they search. They are getting closer; there is just something
missing from the equation.
It is a mystery that metaphysicians have been searching
for in the deepest corners of their mind and their deepest reaches. The yearning for this power has driven men beyond the normal laws of physics. This is the power that can heal the sick and raise the dead—the energy that creates worlds and those beings that inhabit those worlds.
This is our eternal soul. And it has been with us all
along, reaching out to us, telling us, “Here I am” and “Come to me.”
In the beginning, before any matter was created, this
soul was all that existed. There was nothing else. Its form is energy—pure, total, and complete. Yet the size of this soul was a million times smaller than the tiniest grain of sand found on the beach of the Pacific Ocean. You can’t see it, but yet it exists. You might ask, “Well, how can this be?” It’s simple. It’s called energy—complete and total. It vibrates at an infinite frequency. It is an energy source that is simply beyond our understanding. Yet it is there nonetheless.
And then this soul changed all by asking the question
that is still being asked today and will continue to be asked.
We shall call this the eternal question.
“Who am I?”
How many times in the history of mankind have we
asked ourselves who we are? Speaking for myself, I’ve asked that question a thousand times throughout my life. It’s
been a question that has nagged at me since I was a young
boy, a question I ask myself today. a question of eternal
evolution that answers itself daily yet never answers itself fully—a paradox.
The soul—God—contemplating itself, asked the same
Immediately after the question was asked, the big
bang that scientists are studying about occurred. This was 17
greatest explosion of energy you could possibly fathom:,the soul splitting itself into an infinite number of parts, sending forth its energy into every direction at a rate of speed that would expand the finest minds of anyone who has ever
bothered to look into this matter. The key word there is
matter. This is pure energy turning itself into matter. This is the soul expanding itself into the material world and
The soul turns itself from one part to another: energy
to matter. Einstein explained this with his formula of E =
mc2 (energy equals mass times the speed of light squared).
This is a formula, which in its simplest terms, tells us that matter and energy are the same entity and can be changed
into each other. Thank you, Albert.
Now for every action, there is an equal and opposite
reaction. Therefore the soul, which consists of pure energy, sent out positive energy and negative energy to balance
itself—two wavelengths, opposite yet complementary.
There can be no other solution. Positive energy went in
this direction, and negative energy went in that direction.
It’s either one or the other in varying degrees. The energy travelled at a great speed through what we call wavelengths.
Frequency is how many times a second something vibrates.
The frequency that this matter or mass, whatever you wish
to call it, was vibrating at a speed that boggles the mind.
One can’t really wrap their mind around it.
As time went by, this energy formed into matter. Gases
were formed, then stars, and finally planets.. This process took billions of years to happen.
Further time went on, and the energy began to cool as
it got farther away from the center of the big bang, and
elements begin to appear: hydrogen, helium, and then
Now as matter was forming, its counterpart antimatter
was also forming—one matter to offset the other, two
wavelengths going opposite directions at the same rate and power. Each is formed by the other. Both are working in
unison to keep the center balanced.
Imagine seeing a seesaw or teeter-totter as we used
to call them. One side goes up, the other goes down, and
back and forth. Each side balances itself in perfection—
on one side is matter and the other antimatter. One side
positive energy, the other negative. Back and forth, back
and forth, each side being balanced by the center. Think of the right and the left. They need each other to exist. Perfect counterparts. Up and down, male and female, this and
that, Ford and Chevy. I was just kidding about the Ford-
and-Chevy bit, trying to keep it light. Ford and Chevy, the eternal argument.
The center of the seesaw is what keeps each side from
going over the edge into never-never land just as the center of the universe, the soul, keeps positive and negative energy 19
from overtaking each other. It balances the two. You can’t have one without the other, or neither would exist.
Matter begins to cool. More complex elements begin to
form: oxygen and carbon begin, then others. Water appears
and with it, life.
Now in all this, the soul, or God, is connected in
everything. It begot everything; it is everything. It is the soul finding out the original question of “Who am I?” So
it had to divide and subdivide itself into individual parts to find out who the soul is. Pure energy splitting itself up into different parts and pieces. God finding out what God is all about. Rather exciting prospect, wouldn’t you agree?
Energy changing into mass to determine what energy
is. The soul forming individual spirit, forming the mind,
forming life. The soul has divided itself into spirits, spirits of all shapes, sizes, forms, and energy. If anything has life in it, then it has spirit. It doesn’t matter if it’s a tree, a dog, a plant, or human. We are all created spirits come from the one soul. Positive and negative energy created in concert
for balance. Matter and antimatter. Each defining its own
role in the universe.
This means, of course, that we are all one. As I said
before, God is finding out who God is. The soul created this illusion of separateness through time and space to answer
the original question: who am I? Well, it’s finding out each and every day in every world that exists. If God, or the soul, hadn’t asked the original question, then none of us would
exist. We would still all be a part of the original energy vibration before the big bang. We’d still be united with the soul, but we wouldn’t be able to experience ourselves. We’d know ourselves but not the experience of it. The idea would be there, but nothing else.
Spirits are formed from the soul. Life begins. The
mind and body follows, and with it comes consciousness
and then more questions, all stemming from the original
question: “Who am I?” It is the original question of the
Every question that has been asked since can be traced
back to the original. Think about that for a second. You go to your local bookstore; you decide what to buy based on
who you are. You buy a car and a house, you marry a wife,
you add a dog, etc., based on who you are. You decide to
have children, where to live, to get an education, and which hobbies to pursue. You can’t get around it. It’s all based on who you are. It is truly the eternal question for a person, a community, a state, and a world. How should I comb my
hair? How should I dress? Whom shall I love? Who will
be my God? What shall I do today? Every choice you ever
make in your life is based on the original question of “who am I?” Whom do I choose to be? Well, the answer for God
is to be the all of it. Not just the positive part as the church seems to think, but all of it. It would be impossible for it to be any other way.
The one soul which formed the universe that we live in
needed to discover who it is. It made a choice. Before that choice, all it had was an idea—a concept, a visualization.
But that wasn’t enough to satisfy the curiosity of God or the soul. It needed more. It needed much more. Experience of
who it is was the driving force behind the big bang. It had to experience itself just as we choose to come here in this life for the same reason. Unless you have the physical, you can’t experience the spiritual. Unless you have the spiritual, you can’t experience the physical. Unless you have the soul, you can have neither. God is unable to experience unless
God becomes flesh. You can know who you are but not the
experience. It’s the same with God.
Light and Darkness, life and death, right and left, are
brothers of one another. They are inseparable. Because
of this neither are the good good, nor evil evil, nor
is life life, nor death death. For this reason each one
will dissolve into its earliest origin. But those who
are exalted above the world are indissoluble, eternal.
(Gospel of Philip)
The soul that leads to spirit that leads to mind that
leads to body. One leads to the next. It’s the only way God can self-realize who God is. Before matter, God only had
a conception, an idea, of who it was. After matter, God
now can enjoy the complete and total experience of its
existence. The up, the down, the left, the right, the forward, the backward—everything. And that includes the positive
and the negative. It’s all energy. None of it is wasted; none of it is for naught. The positive and the negative energy that both emanate from the soul are both God.
Let me say that again so it can sink in to your mind. The
positive and the negative energy that both emanate from
the soul are both God.
Whoa! Wait a minute! Stop right there, mister!
“God is both positive and negative?” you ask.
To say that God is the positive energy force of the
universe and not the negative leaves out half of God. To
say that God is positive and this character known as Satan is the negative makes Satan equal with God. That would
be an error. The soul, known as God, created both to offset each other. There is absolutely no other way possible for it to happen. You can’t have one without the other.
God, which is a pure energy life force, split into positive and negative energy cycles or wavelengths. It’s impossible for each to exist unless the other is present. This is very important. You can’t have up without down, right without
left, and, most importantly, male without female. So how
can God be male without being female? That’s correct; this image of an old bearded man on the throne is another error.
Male will not exist without female; therefore, God,
or the soul, must be both. One part masculine, one part
feminine. Two parts in one being, both equal with each
other. Therefore, this male-dominated society is incorrect.
If females are part of the God equation, then why do
we relegate them to second-class status? This means the
religions and governments of the world have it all wrong.
The Roman Catholic Church, and any other for that
matter, that does not allow females to be priests or leaders have got it all wrong. God can be female, but not having
females as church leaders? What kind of logic is that? There is a masculine and feminine side to all of us. Look within you and you’ll see. The outward body may be either male of female, but inward we are both and equal.
Now let us focus entirely on the created soul: the spirit, mind, and body experiences of the human being.
That original soul we call God that created all things
is in all things. Yep, that right, I’ll say it again. It’s in all things. God is in every human being, each and every one
of us, from the Buddha, to Adolf Hitler, to Jesus Christ, to Vlad the Impaler. As the apostle Paul wrote in Colossians
1:16 (niv), “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been
created through him and for him.” It can be no other way.
You cannot have one without the other. You can’t have
positive without negative, right without left, male without female, up without down, and so on. It’s impossible; one
side of the seesaw can’t exist without the other. But without the center, neither exists. One side of the pendulum refuses existence without the other.
The soul created the spirit, the mind, and the body. All
four parts are in each one of us. One cannot exist without the other. No soul means nothing else exists. The soul is the sum of all things and more; it’s never-ending. Would you
like a further mind-bender? Our God, our soul, is the child of another and a part of another. Its body, along with many others, serve another. That, my friends, is known as infinity.
And infinity never ends. It continues up; it continues down.
It’s never-ending. You are a part of the soul, which is a part of another, which is a part of another. That should make
you feel rather large indeed! But first, remember: the soul is, the spirit feels, the mind thinks, the body does. These are the four parts of the human being.
The problem with us human beings today is we are not
being taught who we really are. We are being told we are
mind, body, and spirit, that’s if we are being told that at all.
Some just think of themselves as a body and nothing else.
How limited is that? The soul, the most important part, that which creates the other three, is being thrown to the curb so to speak. It’s forgotten. And that part is the kingdom of heaven within you that Thomas spoke of.
We’ve lost sight of who we are. It’s not our fault. We are being taught otherwise. We are all being led t