No Longer the Perfection We Once Were

Yesterday was hard.

A lot piled up (my test is tomorrow, I'm transcribing for an online legal transcription company, plus all the usual fun things like laundry, cleaning, etc.).

The anxiety was high, and so was the overwhelm.

And, too, I've been in the process of lowering my meds, and I think I lowered them too much too fast, especially in light of all that's going on right now.

I felt horrible about that. I thought to myself, "Is this the person I really am?" Is medication covering up the fact that I'm an emotional roller coaster of a human being?

And no, it's not covering it up. It actually works to balance my brain chemistry and see things as I truly see them within my heart. I liken it to someone who's diabetic. I wouldn't go up to them and be all like, "You know you just need to eat better, take some vitamins, and really focus up here. It's all in your head."

In either scenario, it's not all in our heads. It's in our very DNA that has rapidly morphed due to a fallen world. 

We're no longer the perfection we once were.

But we are perfect in Jesus. And that's what I had to keep my mind on yesterday, no matter the way my mind and body were essentially trying to suffocate my heart.

I'm back on my correct dosage and feel so much better. And after reading about Abraham and Isaac and Jacob these past few days, I see people who are pretty warped in their decision-making and dealt with their own tragic genetics. I mean, it's one thing for Abraham to lie about his wife being his sister...but then his son does it too with his own wife? Talk about generational curses!

But the point of these stories isn't only that we're no longer perfect as human beings. The point is that God always is, and His love and care for us go beyond our weak minds and bodies straight to our very hearts that He strengthens through His Word.

What I always come back to is my own conviction that the Holy Spirit puts within me. So I'll never balk at the concept of treating what's broken here on earth, to the best of my ability, while God treats what ultimately matters – my very soul that will one day peacefully reside with Him forever.