You can’t be conquered by what’s already been conquered.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors 

through him who loved us.”

Romans 8:37

Dear Me,

There’s so much trauma in your body, and sometimes, it plays a story in your head. The hard part is not being deceived.

“Woe is me” is a language you’re often fluent in. Things are always roughest looking at them from over your shoulder.

There is no woe in this though. Everything you’ve always endured, all those miles on glass shards, that was your doing. And true, sometimes life has a way of catapulting right at your face, but it’s not life’s fault either.

You were just never rooted in the Right Thing to withstand the storms.

I look at your self-induced loneliness. I even laugh a little when I see a guy wearing a t-shirt on some TV show that says, “I used to be a people person. But then people ruined it.” You would have worn something like that in the quiet of your room, shown off for an audience of one but never for the people who have ruined “it.”

To them, you’re the good girl. But to you? You’re a wayward heart. You love when convenient and hold contempt for all those you smile at.

You’re a coward, deep down.

But I’m not condemning you. Truth is, you’re still a coward. The only thing different between you and me is that I’ve finally recognized this fact.

And I’ve finally gotten His help.

When you’re ready, you can take off the t-shirt and your bitter way of thinking. You can throw them in the trash and sit down with the truth. And you can realize the world isn’t doing this to you (although honestly, it probably is, being run by Satan and all), but you can’t be conquered by what’s already been conquered.

You have Him now, the Difference Maker in all of this. He runs your show and even though the trauma and the cowardice and the woe try to tug on the hem of your skirt to bring you down in the dirt with them, He holds your hand. He lifts you up.

It’s time to stop struggling.

––––––––

Talk soon,

Ericka