Islamic Methodologies Made Easy by Ehab Shawky - HTML preview

You desire the gain of this world, while Allah desires for you the Hereafter, Allah is exalted in Might and All-Wise.” [The Qur’an (8:67)].

“If you meet those who deny the truth in battle, strike above their necks until they are defeated, then tie firmly the bond (by making them captives). Thereafter, [release them]

as an act of generosity, or in return for ransom, until the war lays down its burdens.”

[The Qur’an (47:4)].

The previous two verses are the only ones that speak about the captives of war.

From them we can deduce the following injunctions:

1. When you meet your enemies in battle, fight fiercely and do not hurry in taking captives before defeating your enemies and earning a clear victory.

2. Although all prophets were extremely lenient, the messages they were delivering were highly important for all mankind; as such, they had a lofty dignity, which prophets were ordered to preserve. Fighting fiercely against those who try to prevent this message from reaching all people or persecute the believers was mandatory.

3. When war lays down its burdens, you can either release the captives in exchange for Allah’s reward, or you can set a ransom for their freedom according to the situation at hand.

Through the battles which Muslims fought, captives had been dealt with in one of the following ways:

 Freed out of generosity.

 Freed in return for Muslim captives or ransom.

 Freed on a pact basis.

 Forced to live in bondage till the war ends.

 Punished by death penalty.

Hence, captives may be freed out of generosity if they represented no danger. If there were Muslim captives in the enemies’ hands, then the Muslim general should exchange the enemies’ captives with the Muslim captives. If he still had more captives and his army lacked some of its basic needs, it is appropriate to release them in return for pecuniary ransom or for the fulfillment of a task that Muslims need and the captives are good at.

Beside the previously mentioned incident of the battle of Badr, Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. freed out of generosity 6000 captives after the Conquest of Hunain. He also freed the Makkan pagans—though they were the ones who drove Muslims out of their homes, and waged wars against them even after leaving Makkah; among them were those who have killed his uncle and his companions in previous battles. He also freed 70

warriors who prepared an ambush and tried to kill him near Makkah. The Caliphs followed his example and freed thousands of captives abiding by the prophet’s choice.

Likewise, Saladin freed the captives of the crusades during his reign, and so did many Muslim army generals.

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Now, if ransom was demanded and the country of the captive couldn’t pay, holding this captive in prison would not be such a good solution. If he has some experience in any craft that could help him work and earn some money, he can ask to be freed in return for a certain amount of money which he pays in installments. He is allowed to work under observation and surveillance until he fulfills the sum agreed upon. After this, such captive can choose either to return to his country, or become a citizen of the Islamic state and abide by its system keeping his faith. In such case, he must pay the Jizyah. The captive is granted that right only if he were believed to be trust-worthy and wouldn’t betray his pact.

Some jurists said that granting freedom on pact basis was obligatory if the captive demands it. This issue is indecisive and should be decided by the country’s legislation system. This was the third manner in which captives are treated in Islam.

Taking captives in bondage is subjected to the consultation counsel vision. If setting a certain captive free entails his return to join the enemy’s lines again, or his contribution in any conspiracy against the Muslim community, then Muslims have no choice but either to imprison him till the war ends—which is neither beneficial for him nor for Muslims—

or place him in bondage in the sense explained before. Maybe after experiencing what Islam teaches, he would realize the truth and refrain from fighting against it.

Finally, if the captive had committed any war crimes, like killing Muslim captives, killing Muslim civilians, betraying a peace pact, attacking civilians, conspiring against Muslims, instigating others to attack them, or he persecuted those who embraced Islam under his rule and tortured them on account of their faith, etc., in these cases such captive is sentenced to death for his crimes. This was the case with the Jews of “Bani-Quraizah,”

whose treachery and disloyalty made them betray their peace pact with Muslims. This tribe was among the Jewish tribes who agreed on the constitution of Madinah, but instead of remaining loyal to their pact and their fellow citizens, they prepared a deadly blow against Muslims. They plotted a dreadful scheme in order to achieve their objectives.

Twenty chiefs of the Jews with some of their brethren from “Bani Nadir” tribe went to Makkah to negotiate an alliance with Quraysh tribe. They instigated the Makkan pagans to attack Muslims at Madinah promising they would grant them full support and backing.

Thereafter, they set out for “Ghatfan” Arab tribes and instigated them to do the same.

Both Quraysh and Ghatfan accepted the Jews’ devilish plan. The Jewish delegation then started a fresh effort, toured some parts of Arabia, and managed to incite the confederates of disbelief against Muslims. They all headed towards Madinah and gathered in its vicinity at a date they agreed upon. It was a great army of more than 10,000 fighters.

At that time, the number of Muslims who could fight was less than 1400 capable men.

If the confederates had succeeded to launch a surprise attack against Madinah, they would have exterminated all Muslims. However, the Muslim scouts managed to report the enemies’ movement to the prophet in Madinah. The Jewish chief criminal of “Bani Nadir,” Huyai Ibn Akhtab headed for the habitations of “Bani Quraiza” to incite their Jewish chief “Ka‘b Ibn Asad Al-Qurazi,” who had a pact with the prophet to run to his aid defending Madinah in times of war. Ka‘b, in the beginning refused, but Huyai was clever enough to manipulate him by speaking of Quraysh and their notables, as well as Ghatfan and their chieftains, all determined to exterminate Muhammad and his followers.

He, moreover, promised to stay in Ka‘b’s fort, exposing himself to any potential danger in case Quraysh and Ghatfan recanted. This man continued to incite Ka‘b until he persuaded him to break his covenant with Muslims. “Bani Quraiza” tribe then started 286

to launch war operations against Muslims especially the secluded garrisons that housed the women, the elders and children. The Jews then went on providing the pagans with supplies in token of their support against Muslims. On learning the bad news about the Jews’ treason, the prophet dispatched four Muslim prominent leaders to investigate the truthfulness of the news. He warned them against spreading any sort of panic amongst Muslims and advised that they should declare that the rumors were groundless.

Unfortunately the four men discovered that the news was true and that the Jews announced openly that no pact of alliance existed any longer with Muhammad.

The prophet was briefed of the situation, and Muslims understood their critical position with the unprecedented danger therein. They were extremely outnumbered, starving, and extremely tired. Their back was vulnerable to the attacks of “Bani Quraiza” with their women and children standing in between unprotected, and a huge army attacking them from the front. Without indulging into the details, after Muslims were delivered from this critical situation miraculously by the help of Allah, they headed to the Jews of

“Bani Quraiza” seeking a fair trial for their treason. After besieging them for 25 days inside their fortress, Jews of “Bani Quraiza” surrendered and were captivated.

Other Jewish tribes interceded begging the Prophet to be lenient towards “Bani Quraiza.”

The prophet P.B.U.H. accepted their intercession, he neutralized himself from judging their crimes; he even allowed them to choose the person whom they like to stand as judge in their trial. The Jews chose “Sa‘d Ibn Mu‘adh,” their former Madinite ally.

They thought that he would set them free for the sake of their old alliance. Sa‘d was deputed by both parties to give his verdict. His verdict was, “All of their able-bodied men should be sentenced to death for treason, their women and children should be taken in bondage, and their wealth should be divided among the Muslim fighters.” About 600-700

Jewish fighters were killed for their treason and betrayal1.

Ironically, this verdict was exactly the one prescribed in the Torah against the cities that are taken by force2. In one narration of the incident, Sa‘d chose to set the Torah as the judge on the Jewish tribe, and the Jews fell into the trap of their own wit. It was reported that before his execution, Huyai Ibn Akhtab said to the prophet, “By Allah, I never regretted my enmity towards you, but whoever fails Allah, Allah fails him.” Three Jews refused to betray their pact with the prophet P.B.U.H. and surrendered themselves to him during the siege, among them was a man named “Amr Ibn Sa‘dy.” The prophet said about him, “Allah saved this man because he was loyal to his pact.”

After stating the previous case of “Bani Quraiza,” it’s now time to move on to the Islamic teachings regarding the “women and children” left behind the killed fighters from both sides.

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1: For more details read “The sealed Nectar” by “Safy Arrahman Al-Mubarkarfuri.”

2: Deuteronomy [20:(12-14)].

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After any war, widows and orphans pay the price more than anyone else; may all those who prefer their interest above the public welfare of all people dwell in hell forever; they have always been the reason of all evils. One of the major priorities of the Muslim community is to take care of orphans and widows. Among what Allah says about orphans in the Qur’an are the following verses:

“Virtue is to believe in Allah, the Judgment Day, the angels, the Holy Book and the prophets, [the virtuous are those who] despite their love for money, give it away to their

relatives, to orphans, the needy, the wayfarers, those who ask [for charity], and for

freeing those held in slavery, and [the virtuous are those who] observe their prayers, pay Zakah, keep their pledges when they make them, and are perseverant in hardship and adversity, and in times of distress. Such are the true believers, and such are the pious ones.” [The Qur’an (2:177)].

“They ask you about orphans, say: ‘It is good to set things right for them.

If you combine their affairs with yours, remember they are your brothers and sisters,

and that Allah knows those who spoil things and those who improve them. Had He so willed, He could have made you vulnerable too: He is Almighty, He is Most-Wise.’ ”

[The Qur’an (2:220)].

“Give the orphans their property, do not replace [their] good things with bad, and do

not consume their property with your own, verily, this is a great sin. ” [The Qur’an (4:2)].

“Keep a close check on orphans till they attain the age of marriage, then, if you find

them mature and mindful, hand over their property to them. Do not consume it by

wasteful spending, before they reach this age. If the guardian is affluent, let him

abstain altogether, and if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just

and reasonable. When you hand over their property to them, call witnesses in their

presence, Allah is sufficient as a Reckoner.” [The Qur’an (4:6)].

“Verily, those who consume the property of orphans unjustly are actually swallowing fire into their own bellies: they will burn in blazing Flames.” [The Qur’an (4:10)].

“Worship Allah, and join none with Him (in worship), and be kind to parents, kinsfolk,

orphans, those in need, neighbors who are near of kin, neighbors who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and what your right hands possess (i.e. Your slaves): For Allah loves not those who are arrogant and those who are vainglorious.” [The Qur’an (4:36)].

“Do not treat the orphan with harshness, and do not chide the one who asks for help.”

[The Qur’an (93:9-10)].

“Have you seen the one who denies my message? He is the one who drives away the orphan and does not exhort the feeding of the poor.” [The Qur’an (107:1-3)].

The above Qur’anic verses hold the following injunctions:

1. Spend from your money on taking care of destitute orphans.

2. Take care of wealthy orphans and invest their inheritance on their behalf properly.

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3. Orphans are your brothers and sisters, be mindful of that in your treatment to them.

4. Never detract any of the orphan’s property or rights.

5. Never waste any of the orphan’s property or rights.

6. If the guardian is rich, he must not take any wage for investing or taking care of the orphans’ property.

7. If the guardian was poor, let him assign a reasonable salary for himself with the presence of witnesses.

8. Keep a close check on the orphans till they become mindful and mature enough to manage their own affairs.

9. When you hand the orphans their property, witnesses must attend and confirm that the orphans have received all of their property without any deductions.

10. Be kind and merciful in your treatment to orphans. Do not chide or drive them away.

Besides the previous Qur’anic verses, Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. taught Muslims a special code of conduct towards orphans. Among his teachings are the following:

“Whoever wipes over the head of an orphan with his palm, he or she is rewarded for every hair his palm touches.” [Recorded by Bukhari].

“If you want to have a gentle heart, feed the needy and wipe over orphans’ heads.”

[Recorded by Ahmad].

“Bring the orphan closer, wipe over his or her head, and carry him on your lap, your heart shall soften, and whatever troubles you, it shall fade away.”

“The best house among Muslims is a house in which an orphan lives and is treated kindly, and the worst house among Muslims is a house in which an orphan lives and is treated badly.” [Recorded by Ibn Maja].

“Whoever is assigned as the guardian on the property of an orphan, let him invest it so that it wouldn’t be consumed by Zakah.” [Recorded by Tirmidhī].

The traditions did not promulgate new injunctions; rather, they disseminated the seeds of kindness, love and mercy towards orphans.

With regards to widows, Allah says in the Qur’an:

“As for those who die among you and leave behind widows, [let] the widows [know that they] should wait for four months and ten days before remarrying. When they have completed this set time, you will not be blamed for anything they may reasonably choose to do with themselves. Allah is fully aware of what you do. You will not be blamed whether you give a hint that you wish to marry these women, or keep it to yourselves, Allah knows that you intend to propose to them. Do not seek to meet them in secret unless you intend to speak to them honorably and do not proceed with tying the marriage knot until the prescribed mourning period reaches its end. Remember that Allah knows what is in your souls, so be mindful of Him. Remember that Allah is Most-Forgiving, Most-Forbearing.”

[The Qur’an (2:234-235)].

“As for those who [may] die among you and leave behind widows, let them make a bequest for their wives of a year’s maintenance without causing them to leave their homes, but if they leave of their own accord, you will not be blamed for what they may reasonably choose to do with themselves, Allah is Omnipotent and Most-Wise.”

[The Qur’an (2:240)].

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“Your wives shall inherit one quarter of what you leave if you are childless. But if you leave children, your wives shall inherit one eighth, after the payment of any bequest or debts.” [The Qur’an (4:12)].

The above Qur’anic verses hold the following injunctions:

1. Widows should abstain from remarrying again for at least 130 days.

2. If any man wishes to propose to a widow, he must not seek to meet her secretly unless he intends to speak to her honorably.

3. Don’t proceed with the marriage contract unless the prescribed mourning period ends.

4. Those who may die leaving behind widows, let them write a bequest for their wives that they should not be forced to leave the marriage house for one year, and the expenditures during that year should be taken from their money equitably (i.e. that’s in case the house was rented or had several heirs).

5. If any man dies childless, his widow shall inherit ¼ of his wealth after settling his debts and deducing the bequest portion.

6. If any man dies leaving behind children, his widow shall inherit 1/8 of his wealth after settling his debts and deducing the bequest portion.

Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. said,

“The one who takes care of a widow or a poor person is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah, or like a person who fasts during the day and prays all night.”

[Recorded by Bukhari].

Among the most horrible customs of war that were inherited from ancient times and lasted till the middle decades of the second millennium A.D. was the habit of enslaving the women and children left behind the defeated army by those who were victorious. The first record available of this custom is in the book of Genesis (34:25-31).

This custom was practiced throughout history by all invaders without any mercy.

When Muslims started to fight back against their persecutors, they were always fighting under the stress that if they were defeated, their wives and children would fall into slavery and receive severe punishment for embracing Islam. Their stress was limitless, especially that the rights granted to slaves in Islam were not granted by non-Muslims; on the contrary, non-Muslim masters treated their slaves worse than they treated their camels and horses. When it happened that Muslims were not defeated but were victorious, the women and children left behind the defeated enemies had to be dealt with in a proper manner that may ensure they would understand Islam for what it truly is, not what they were told. Back at those times, 1400 years ago, forsaking them for their destiny after their men’s death would have multiplied their vulnerability and endangered their lives.

Meanwhile, if they were strong enough to survive and continue to lead a hard life living on their own, their hatred towards Islam and Muslims would increase and constitute a huge threat against the stability of the next generations. Based on this, taking them in captivity and admitting them into the Muslims’ houses—where they can live securely and find sustenance—was the solution followed by Muslims.

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This was not some sort of punishment for fighting against Islam like some people think, it was the act deemed most proper to show through real practice the families of those who rejected Islam and fought against it how different Islam is from what they thought and what they were told. They know what their armies would have done if they were the ones victorious. Experiencing how different Islam is from their attitude was a chance for them to ponder and reflect. I guess we have all seen what non-Muslim armies do when they invade Muslim lands, not only in medieval times, but in modern times as well.

In order to preserve the unity of the family, Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. forbade separating the members of the same family. If there were 2 sisters, 2 brothers, a mother and her child, etc., they were admitted into the same house. Based on the rights explained earlier, the children receive similar treatment to that of the children in the house.

They would be dressed from the same clothes, fed from the same food, and when capable to work, they joined the rest of the family members in their daily work. The women were also treated in the same manner as that of the Muslim women. If any of the women was capable to take care of herself and was talented in any craft, she could emancipate herself with time, and then choose whether to live among Muslims or travel to another country with some trustable folks. This was also the case with double-orphans when they grew up and reached an age in which they could take care of themselves.

The controversial issue here is with taking concubines from among the women living in captivity. Many orientalists and western authors love to attack Islam saying that its teachings encourage taking sex slaves, but the truth is far away from their claims.

Islam permitted the Muslim men to take wives and concubines from among the captivated women living under their care, but it also permitted the captivated women to marry whomever they willed, and it gave them the right to accept or refuse the proposal of their masters. Moreover, it forbade the masters from refusing to marry-off their captivated women like we have explained earlier. The following are the regulations that were placed for marrying a captivated woman, or taking her as a concubine: 1. If the woman was a pagan, the Muslim male cannot propose to her. Only women who believe in Allah are allowed to be taken as wives or concubines.

2. The woman’s acceptance is a must. She must first accept to be a concubine or a wife to the Muslim male; otherwise, the man has no right to mate with her.

3. No sexual intercourse is allowed with a woman except after making sure that she had her menses on time after her captivity, and that she is not pregnant.

4. If she was pregnant, the male must wait until she gives birth to her child.

5. If she conceives from him a child, she is raised to a higher status. She is no longer considered a bondswoman or a captive, she becomes the mother of the child.

She can’t be sold or presented as a gift to another master. Her child is born free and named after his father. This child has equal rights to inheritance like the children of a free wife.

6. If the Muslim master dies after his concubine conceives from him, she is a free woman even if she accidently miscarries fetus.

7. If the Muslim male had two sisters living inside his house, he can only have one of them as his concubine or wife. Entering a relation with a woman and her sister is totally forbidden in the Islamic law.

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It has been mentioned that the prophet P.B.U.H. said, “Three get their reward (from Allah) twice, a man who owns a female-slave, he treats her kindly, educates her (about Islam) and excels in her education, teaches her good manners and excels in that too, then he emancipates her and marries her, he’s rewarded twice…” [Recorded by Bukhari].

This tradition makes it crystal clear that no maltreatment of any kind is allowed; on the contrary, kindness and devoutness are the base upon which the relation was allowed to be built. From what we see every day, the rules set in Islam 1400 years ago for taking a concubine from among the female captives of war are far more noble and incomparable to the way many males treat their girlfriends today. In many cases: 1. Boyfriends cheat on their girlfriends and vice versa.

2. Some boyfriends cheat on their girlfriends with their own sisters.

3. Many of them renounce the relation if their girlfriends get pregnant.

4. In many cases, a DNA test must be carried out to make sure who the real father is.

5. Many boyfriends do not provide for their girlfriends or the children resulting from the relationship.

6. None of the children born from this illegal relation has any inheritance rights.

7. A Child born out of wedlock has no legal right to carry his or her father’s surname.

Many don’t even know who their fathers are.

All of the previous happen without any laws or rules to protect women’s rights and those of their children, or any deterring punishments for vile men who take advantage of women then forsake them. Can you now imagine how Islam has dignified a concubine under the Islamic rule more than the current laws in modern countries have done for free women?

The percentage of children born out of wedlock in some of the countries that drawl with human rights today range between 40-60%. These children have no laws to protect them or guarantee their rights. If you don’t like the word ‘concubine’ and detest it so much; fine, name her a girlfriend with protecting rules against men’s aggression.

Anyway, the majority of Muslim scholars today agree that the conditions under which taking the women and children left behind the defeated armies as captives no longer exist.

Modern war is totally different from the tribal battles that were waged thousands of years ago. In modern wars, women and children do not follow the armies or move with them from place to another; this protects them against captivity. Even if you return to the early years of Islam, Muslims fought against hundreds of thousands of Romans and the Persians; nonetheless, they never captivated except the women and children who were left behind the armies near the battle field, and most of them were servants and slaves who found in Islam the justice which they were hoping to see one day. This is why the Islamic history holds amidst its pages the chronicles of thousands of emancipated slaves who contributed greatly in building the Islamic civilization.

Finally, if the previous injunctions are the rules set in Islam for treating slaves whether males or females, and if the teachings of the Qur’an and Prophet Muhammad have set emancipating slaves as an act of penance for several sins and an act that is highly rewarded by Allah on the judgment day, and if the prophet’s family members and companions had emancipated thousands of slaves during their lives, and if the Qur’anic verses as well as the prophetic traditions ordered the kind of treatment which was emphasized towards slaves, then do you think that Islam is a brutal religion that encourages enslavement and obscenity?

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6. Islam, Women’s Persecutor or Women’s Liberator?

Most Islam deniers love to attack Islam through women, they say, “How can a religion that oppresses women, allows polygyny, gives women half the rights of men in inheritance, forces women to cover their heads in disgrace, allows men to beat up their wives, prevent women from driving, etc., be considered divine? Are you Muslims crazy?!

This religion teaches sexism and your Holy book couldn’t be but from satan.”

In order to respond to the tons of accusations thrown at Islam and its teachings regarding women, let’s get started with an overview of how the Qur’an defines the relationship between men and women:

“And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another, they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the Zakah, and they obey Allah and His messenger. As for these, Allah will have mercy on them.

Allah is Omnipotent, All-Wise.” [The Qur’an (9:71)].

“And of His signs is that: He created for you spouses from yourselves that you might

find tranquility in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are signs for folk who reflect.” [The Qur’an (30:21)].

“Surely, Muslim men and Muslim women, believing men and believing women, devout men and devout women, truthful men and truthful women, patient men and patient women, humble men and humble women, and the men who give alms and the women who give alms, and the men who fast and the women who fast, and the men who guard their private parts (against illicit sex) and the women who guard (theirs), and the men who remember Allah much and the women who remember (Him)–for them, Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.” [The Qur’an (33:35)].

“On the Day when you will see the believing men and the believing women, their light

proceeding in front of them and by their right hands, this is a glad tiding for you, from that day on, you shall dwell in gardens beneath which rivers flow, that is the supreme triumph.” [The Qur’an (57:12)].

The above verses emphasize that men and women complete each other. As long as they are righteous, they shall not be separated, neither in this life nor the next. There are many other verses that convey the same meaning. Likewise, Prophet Muhammad taught his companions about women’s partnership and great role in building the society.

Among his teachings are the following:

“Women are the twin-halves of men.” [Recorded by Ahmad and others].

“The most precious wealth in life is good companionship, and the best companionship is that of a righteous wife.” [Recorded by Muslim].

“Heaven lies under the feet of mothers.” [Recorded by Ahmad and others].

A man came to Prophet Muhammad and asked: “O messenger, who is the worthiest person among all people of my perfect companionship?” Prophet Muhammad answered,

“Your mother.” The man said, “Then who?” Prophet Muhammad said, “Your mother.”

The man said persistently, “Then who?” Prophet Muhammad said, “Your mother.”

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The man said, “Then who?” Prophet Muhammad said, “Then your father.” [Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim].

“Commend kindness towards your women.” [Recorded by Bukhari].

“Men propose to women for four reasons: her wealth, her noble ancestry, her beauty or her piousness. Win her who is pious or you shall end up empty handed.” [Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim].

The prophet P.B.U.H. stopped the old custom of marrying-off single women and young girls without consulting with them first. He ordered Muslims saying,

“You cannot marry-off a (Widow or divorcee) woman without consulting with her first, and you cannot marry-off a virgin without her consent.” [Recorded by Muslim].

The right to learn and acquire knowledge has been granted in the Qur’an and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad. Women were allowed to go to the mosque like men do, and learn from the prophet directly. They even argued with him about marital matters in defense of their rights as came in the chapter named (The debating woman).

This chapter begins with the following verse:

“Indeed Allah has heard the argument of the woman who was debating with you about her husband, and was complaining to Allah. And Allah was listening to the conversation between both of you. Indeed, Allah is All-Hearing, All-Seeing.” [The Qur’an (58:1)].

Prophet Muhammad also said, “Do not inhibit women from going to the mosques.”

[Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim]. It should be noted here that mosques were the schools of that day.

During ‘Omar Ibn Al-Khattab’s caliphate, while he was giving a sermon in the mosque, he said, “Do not exaggerate in dowries.”

A woman stopped him saying, “Allah says, ‘If any of you [men] had given a woman a whole treasure for dowry, take not the least bit of it back’ [The Qur’an (4:20)]. Should we listen to you or to Allah?!”

‘Omar then said, “All people are more knowledgeable than ‘Omar. Marry on whatever dowries you wish.” [Recorded by Abu Yu‘la and others].

The elders of the companions used to ask Lady ‘Āʾishah about jurisprudential issues after the prophet’s departure. Abu Musa Al-Ash‘ary, the famous companion said, “Never did we (i.e. the companions) doubt a tradition and asked ‘Āʾishah about it except that we found her having some knowledge regarding the matter.” [Recorded by Tirmidhī].

From the previous few examples it is clear that women played a very big role in learning and spreading knowledge during and after the prophet’s time. The Qur’an has also acquitted women from the accusation that had always been thrown at them in the previous scriptures; Allah says in the Qur’an, “So, We said, ‘Adam, this is an enemy to you and to your wife. So let him not expel you from Paradise, lest you should get into trouble. Here you have the privilege that you will not be hungry nor will you be unclad, and you will not be thirsty, nor will you be exposed to sun’s heat.’ But later on satan

instigated him. He said, ‘Adam, shall I guide you to the tree of eternity and to an empire that does not decay?’ So, both of them [Adam and Eve] ate from it, and their private parts became manifest to them, and they started stitching on themselves some of the leaves of Paradise. And ‘Adam disobeyed his Lord, and erred. Thereafter his Lord chose him, He accepted his repentance and gave (him) guidance.” [The Qur’an (20:117-122)].

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The Qur’an teaches that Allah led Adam and Eve to an earthly paradise in which they can live comfortably and securely. He ordered Adam not to approach a certain tree; this was a training for Adam and Eve to obey Allah and guard themselves against His prohibitions all the time. That was the very first tribulation to mankind on earth. The verses state that satan instigated Adam to eat from the tree, and it was Adam who erred and disobeyed Allah’s orders, not Eve.

Islam defended women’s right to inheritance. For every woman left behind the deceased person, a known share of the heritage has been prescribed by Allah in the Qur’an, that’s whether she is a daughter, a sister, a widow, a mother, a step sister, a granddaughter or a grandmother. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“For men there is a share in what parents and the nearest of kin have left. And for women there is a share in what the parents and the nearest of kin have left, be it small or large, a determined share.” [The Qur’an (4:7)].

If you continue reading this chapter of the Qur’an, you will read the details of these shares.

They are distributed in such a way that preserves the unity of the family. The Islamic laws of inheritance abolished the custom of keeping the property monopolized by men.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Allah directs you concerning your children: for a male there is a share equal to that of two females. But, if they are (only) women, more than two, then they get two thirds of what one leaves behind. If she is one, she gets one-half. As for his parents, for each of them, there is one-sixth of what he leaves in case he has a child. But, if he has no child and his parents have inherited him, then his mother gets one-third. If he has some brothers (or sisters), his mother gets one-sixth, all after (settling) the will he might have made, or a debt. You do not know who, out of your fathers and your sons, is closer to help you, all this is determined by Allah. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise. For you there is one-half of what your wives leave behind, in case they have no child. But, if they have a child, you get one-fourth of what they leave, after (settling) the will they might have made, or a debt. For them (the wives) there is one-fourth of what you leave behind, in case you have no child. But, if you have a child, they get one eighth of what you leave, after (settling) the will you might have made, or a debt. And if a man or a woman is inherited in Kalalah (i.e. has neither parents alive, nor children) and has a brother or a sister, then each one of them will get one sixth. However, if they are more than that, they will be sharers in one-third, after (settling) the will that might have been made, or a debt, provided that the will must not be intended to harm anyone. This is a direction from Allah. Allah is All- Knowing, Forbearing.” [The Qur’an (4:11-12)].

Later on in the same chapter, Allah says: “They seek a ruling from you.

Say [O Muhammad]: ‘Allah gives you the ruling concerning Kalalah (i.e. has neither parents alive, nor children), If a person dies having no son, but he does have a sister, then, she will get one half of what he leaves. (On the other hand) He will inherit her if she has no child. If they are two (sisters), they will get two third of what he leaves. If they are brothers and sisters, both male and female, then, the male will get a share equal to that of two females.’ Allah explains to you, lest you should go astray. Allah has full knowledge of everything.” [The Qur’an (4:176)].

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All jurisprudence books contain a big chapter concerning inheritance. It includes hundreds of different cases in the forms of problems and answers to teach Muslims how to calculate the inheritance in all cases. This approach was taught by the prophet during his life, and then his companions after him. He urged Muslims to hold discussions about this branch of knowledge in their gatherings. On comparing all cases, jurists of the next generations found that women inherit more than men in about 30 of them.

Today, many computer programs have been designed to calculate the share of every family member. Even born hermaphrodites were dealt with in Islam. When Muslims were first faced with such case in which a hermaphrodite was among the heirs, they ordered that two just witnesses should observe that person while urinating in a standing position from behind—so as not to see his or her private parts. If the water falls underneath his or her legs, then she is a female and inherits the share of a female. If the water streams forward, then he is a male and inherits the share of a male. Today, with advanced medical surgery, born hermaphrodites can choose the gender they incline to through operation and inherit based on this, or else, a doctor’s consultation is sought.

The controversial issue that most non-Muslims always raise is, “Why didn’t Allah equate the shares of brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, etc.?” The answer to this question is also in the same chapter under discussion where Allah says:

“Men are the protectors and caretakers of women, with what Allah has favored each of them above the other (i.e. the men with strength and bigger share in inheritance, and the women with their emotional sympathizing hearts and tenderness) and because the men spend from their means (taking care of their families). Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah), and guard in (her husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard (i.e. their chastity, their husband’s property, etc.)” [The Qur’an (4:34)].

Sheikh Mufti Muhammad Shāfe‘i wrote about this issue extensively in his magnificent exegesis, “Ma‘aref Al-Qur’an.” For simplicity, an extract from what he said shall follow in indents as to identify his commentary from mine:

This verse explains and removes the possible doubt that may creep up due to the share of men being twice that of women as described in the verses of inheritance.

This is done by the present verse when it declares that all financial responsibilities rest with men. As for women, all her financial responsibilities before her marriage rest with her father; after marriage, these pass on to the husband. If a woman contributes in the daily expenses of the house, this is considered as charity for her and a highly esteemed deed in Islam, but it’s not an obligation, her husband should really appreciate her doing this. Islam also imposed a dowry on men that should be paid to their wives upon marriage, and the responsibility of preparing a house, buying its furniture and needs are all the responsibility of the man.

With this in view, giving a twofold share to a man is not really too much, for it zooms back to women after all and raises her to the rank of an honored queen whose requests are orders to her caretaker.

Islam has dignified women and treated them all like queens by laying their responsibility upon their men and emphasizing the principal that a woman, in terms of her tender creation and nature, should not be subjected to go out, work and earn her own livelihood. The attributes of her gender are hardly conducive to her 296

running around offices and markets, doing jobs and laborious work to earn a livelihood unless there is a certain urge behind that. Hence, to keep her safe from roughing it out like men, Allah has placed her responsibility on men. Think of the women’s creation, laying down the burden of being the ones who conceive the children and mainly the ones responsible for their feeding, upbringing and education, while also being responsible for managing the house and fulfilling the family members’ home needs, all this comes in conflict with the idea of her sweating it out in the work places in the name of income, career or liberation.

Any person with the least sense of mercy should understand that. Most men cannot handle the responsibilities laid down upon women by creation.

Keeping this in view, it is totally unjust to deduce that the status of women has been reduced by making them dependent on men in the matter of her expenses.

No value judgment is being made here. This is no more than a functional distribution of duties based on the nature of each gender according to creation.

That was no more than a brief clarification that the precedence of men does not lower the status of women, nor does this hold any special gain for men.

On the contrary, whatever gain there is, it reverts back to women after all.

And as Allah has given women their rights, He also gave men their rights and taught them how to deal with disloyal disobedient wives, conditioned by first fulfilling their duties towards them as stated in the first half of the previous verse. Allah continues saying:

“As to those women whom you fear their recalcitrance, (first) admonish them, (next), abandon them in their beds, (and last) hit them, but if they obey you, then seek not against them means of annoyance for Allah is Most High, Great above you all.” [The Qur’an (4:34)].

Whenever a woman reads this verse, she thinks of herself in a pathological way to be the recalcitrant wife referred to. This leads many women to conclude that this verse is unjust to women. Almost all women ignore the fact that many wives do abuse their husbands, not physically but psychologically. In the above verse, Allah teaches Muslim males how to deal with their wives when they are abusive and shrewish—when they are

“Recalcitrant.” A recalcitrant wife is not the one who does not cook or clean the house, that’s the maid. In Islam women are not obliged to do these tasks except if the husband was incapable of hiring a servant or a maid. In such case, he should try to help his wife whenever he can like the prophet was recorded to do. Lady ‘Āʾishah described the prophet’s attitude in the house saying, “He always joined in household work, and would at times mend his clothes, repair his footwear, and sweep the floor. He would milk, tether, and feed the animals, and do the household shopping.” [Recorded by Bukhari].

She also said, “The prophet P.B.U.H. used to sew his clothes, mend his footwear, and work like the rest of the men for his house.” [Recorded by Ahmad].

The recalcitrant wife is a wife who always refuses to listen to her husband. Whenever he tries to advise her with something good or acceptable by commonsense, she turns a deaf ear. She deals with her marital life as if she’s still single and her husband’s words have no value whatsoever. She is characterized by a domineering attitude. For example: She deliberately invites to the house people whom her husband hates. She embarrasses 297

her husband in front of others intentionally by disclosing the secrets of their life together and mentioning his imperfections, or by treating him badly in front of people and yelling at him. She is the sort of wife who would disobey her husband’s big NOs to degrade his status, or would betray his trusts and secrets. She would not hesitate to treat her husband’s parents and relatives badly or coldly in a way that offends them and him; a wife who would refuse to receive his relatives in their house or treats them in a vulgar manner, which is never the case with her relatives. She’s a wife who spends lavishly more than her husband can afford putting him in a

critical situation. A wife who goes out as

she wills without informing her husband

leaving him to worry; if he asks her

where she was, she won’t answer or tell

lies. She doesn’t think of her husband’s

comfort most times and always deals

with matters in her own way neglecting

his opinion, etc. Hence, this verse is not

speaking about a normal couple having

normal problems, nothing of that sort.

It’s speaking about a very special case in

which the wife’s shrewish attitude is

about to destroy her marriage for good.

Since that the woman is the one for whom there is fear from leading a single life without a man to protect, console, work to provide for, and be her shield from whatever destiny holds; moreover, since that it’s not easy for a divorced woman to find a husband or receive a new marriage proposal—especially that her recalcitrant attitude will most probably be disclosed within the circle of her acquaintances; for the protection of such a woman and her sacred marital life, and before rushing to the easy solution of separation and divorce, Allah escalated the manner in which a husband should deal with his shrewish wife. The main purpose here is to make her realize that his feelings towards her have changed, may she reform her attitude.

First, he should speak things out with her in tranquility admonishing her—for like his duty as a husband is to protect her and provide her with all her needs whether emotional or financial, her duty is to support him sincerely. If admonishing works, then he should stick to this attitude to reform her flaws. If it didn’t work and she persists on returning to her arrogant attitude, then he should change his strategy to something new. The second step is to abandon her in bed, meaning that he should give her his back when they go to sleep. Most jurists said that this bed-boycott should not extend for over a month.

Some jurists preponderated that he should not share the same bed with her during this period. If after this month she continues to treat him insolently and didn’t care at all about his depression, there is still one final step remaining that may wake her up before resorting to separation. The purpose of this step is to make her realize that this man has had enough and cannot withstand living like this anymore. Hence, the husband may hit his wife lightly when she abuses him. He may for instance give her a strong shoulder shake, poke her arm, or grab her arms when in anger; it all depends on the situation at hand. Nonetheless, he shouldn’t exceed this limit.

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Before the advent of Islam, used to the customs of their rough Bedouin life, the men of Makkah resorted to beating their wives in the case of recalcitrance; sometimes they even resorted to divorce quickly to avoid the headache. After prophethood, Prophet Muhammad denied beating women completely. He forbade men from doing that saying,

“Don’t hit your women.” [Recorded by Ibn Sa‘d and Baihaqy]. After immigration, the Makkan women mingled with the women of Madinah whose manners were much wilder. This stimulated the Makkan women to imitate their new friends, especially that they knew of the prohibition the prophet had promulgated before. This escalated to the extent that ‘Omar Ibn al-Khattab went complaining to the prophet, he said, “O prophet, women have become domineering with their husbands.” Then it happened once that one of the companions lost his tempers with his wife and he slapped her. This woman went complaining to her father who took her to the prophet to judge between her and her husband. Enraged with this act, Prophet Muhammad gave a verdict that this husband should be slapped back by his wife in the same manner in which he slapped her. It was at this moment that the above verse was revealed to the prophet informing him that his judgment was not the most correct. If applied, it will only increase the breach done and totally destroy the marriage. Marital life is sacred in Islam and protecting it is one of the Shari‘ah objectives. It was in that incident that the allowance to hit shrewish wives was given but with rules that the prophet explained to the companions, among what he said:

“Hit them lightly.” [Recorded by Ibn Jareer on the authority of ‘Ekremah].

“Never hit the face, never uglify (i.e. say: you ugly so and so), never withdraw away from her except inside the house.” [Recorded by Abu Dāwood and Ibn Mājah].

“The best among you are those who won’t hit their wives.” [Recorded by Baihaqy].

“Commend kindness towards your women, they are entrusted to you. Don’t you hold anything against them except if they do a manifest abominable deed; if they do, then abandon their beds and hit them lightly. If they obey you, then seek not against them means of annoyance. Know that you have rights and your women have rights too. As for your rights, they shouldn’t host or invite anyone you hate to your house, and as for their rights, you should treat them in the way they favor when dressing them or feeding them.”

[Recorded by Tirmidhī].

“The most perfect believers are the best in conduct, and the best of you are those who are good to their wives.” [Recorded by Abu Dāwood].

“A believer should not hate his wife, for if he hates any of her manners, he will surely find another to love.” [Recorded by Muslim].

“None but a noble man treats women in an honorable manner, and none but an ignoble man treats women disgracefully.” [Recorded by Tirmidhī].

Prophet Muhammad forbad Muslim males from resorting to the beating allowance so quickly when losing their tempers. The prophet also emphasized that if a man resorted to hitting his wife then he must remember that she’s his love, he should not hurt her or hit her in a manner that increases the breach between them. He said, “How could anyone of you beat his wife like a slave then make love to her at night?!” [Recorded by Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhī, and others]. This was a denial for any tough hitting and a degradation of its doer. After the prophet’s departure, the companions were asked about the lawful manner of hitting, and they all gave the same explanation stressing that the hitting meant in the verse should be lightly done. This was the opinion of Ibn ‘Abbās, Sa'eed Ibn Al-Jubair, ‘Ekremah, Al-Sha‘aby, Al-Hassan, Qatadah and others.

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When Ibn ‘Abbās , the prophet’s cousin, was asked about the kind of hitting that wouldn’t hurt the woman physically but reprimand her, he said, “Hit her with your Siwak.”

[Recorded by Tabari]. Siwak is a kind of toothbrush Made from a tree called Arāk in Arabic (Salvadora Persica), or simply the toothbrush tree in English. For simplicity, it is a sort of tooth brush in size and function. Arabs use it in brushing their teeth and they always keep it in their pockets. It’s about 5 inches in length, about quarter an inch in diameter, and it’s malleable. Putting together the explanations given by Prophet Muhammad, his companions, and the reason of revelation, one can deduce the following: 1. Men must protect their wives for they are stronger by creation.

2. Men must work to provide for their families and provide their needs.

3. Men are the ones responsible for spending on their families, this is why Allah has given them a bigger share of inheritance.

4. If the man’s income wasn’t enough and his wife supports him, this is considered charity for her and she shall be rewarded for it by Allah.

5. The male is the captain of the ship, his obedience is mandatory for a stable life unless he orders any of the family members to do something divinely prohibited. There is no obedience to any human if it leads to any disobedience to the Creator.

6. The woman is a shepherd and a guardian in her husband’s house. She must take care of his trusts, protect his honor, and seek his comfort.

7. Divorce is the most hated deed by Allah. Consequently, any shrewish recalcitrant wife should be dealt with—based upon the degree of her recalcitrance—according to the following approach:

a. Admonished her calmly, may she listen and reform her attitude.

b. If she persists, abandon her in bed until she inclines towards apologizing for her previous attitude. This bed-boycott should not extend for more than one month; she has rights too.

c. Know that the best men are those who won’t hit their women.

d. If she still persists and her insults were unbearable, then you may hit her lightly if you think this can change her, but be careful:

i. Never hit the face.

ii. Never hurt the bones.

iii. You may give her a shoulder shake.

iv. You may grab her wrists while rebuking her.

v. You may poke her shoulder, arm, thigh, hip, or upper chest. You can use your siwak.

vi. You may hit her on the waist with your garment.

vii. If you do anything beyond the previous, then know that you have transgressed the limit and deserve to be punished by the judge.

viii. If she reforms her attitude then do not seek to annoy her and know that Allah is All-Capable on you.

And since that we should not take one verse from the book and leave another, earlier in this same chapter Allah says, “Consort with your wives in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a thing wherein Allah has placed great good.” [The Qur’an (4:19)]. In this verse Allah is teaching Muslim males not to resort quickly to take any action against their wives when they hate their attitude. On the contrary, they must treat them kindly and try to be as much patient as they can; perhaps Allah has concealed for them happiness in the future, and the troublesome wife will reform her attitude.

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Allah also says, “Verily, there is a good model for you in the Prophet for him who seeks (the forgiveness of) Allah on the Last Day, and remembers Allah profusely.”

[The Qur’an (33:21)].

Lady ‘Āʾishah said, “Never had the prophet's hands hit a servant, a woman or anyone at all except at battle.” [Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim]. The prophet was once boycotted by his wives. All he did was that he withdrew from their company and secluded himself in the mosque. He wanted to give them a chance to decide whether they wished to remain his wives or not. From all this, we may now understand that the “hitting allowance” was given for a very special case in which the wife’s shrewish attitude blinded her from realizing the danger of living alone if her husband leaves her. It’s a kind of shock therapy that was allowed for the persistently shrewish wife. It is not to harm her physically; its sole purpose is to remind her that this guy she’s giving a hard time is her closest friend and companion in this life, and he is about to leave, may she come back to her senses, and show more devotion to his companionship. It’s a last warning before resorting to separation, may she reform her attitude.

The arrangement described so far was to help tempers cool off within the privacy of the house keeping it restricted to the married couple. Nonetheless, there are times when the family feud becomes long drawn. It may be because the woman is temperamentally stubborn and contumacious, or it may be the fault of the man who may have been unjustly oppressive. Whatever it actually is, one thing is certain, it’s that the unfortunate tussle will not remain restricted within the four walls of the house, it will definitely spread out. Then—as usual—supporters of one party will go about maligning the others with all sorts of accusations. This will cause tempers of parties to rise and what started as the disagreement of two individuals will turn into a confrontation between two families. That’s why in the next verse Allah teaches Muslims what to do when the previous solutions fail to work:

“If you fear separation between them twain (the husband and his wife), appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers, if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: For Allah has full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.” [The Qur’an (4:35)].

If the previous approach fails in making any amends between the married couple, Allah addresses the guardians of the couple, and tells them to delay resorting to divorce and suggests a decent method that might help cool down tempers, shut out avenues of accusations, and reach a middle solution between both parties. The dispute which could not remain restricted to the couple’s home, should be settled within their families if possible, not at the court of law. The verse orders the guardians to take one arbitrator from the man’s family and another from that of the woman. Those arbitrators should have the necessary capabilities and decency to resolve the dispute. They must be religiously knowledgeable and trustworthy. If both arbitrators have good intentions and truly wish to bring about peace between the dissenting couple, they shall succeed in their mission, and Allah Almighty will bring forth love and harmony between the couple. Hence, if one of the arbitrators lacks perfect sincerity while pursuing the goal of peace-making, this process might fail. Therefore, the arbitrators must be carefully chosen from among the sincere friends of the two families.

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Regarding the family and relatives’ disputes, ‘Omar Ibn Al-Khattab issued the following order to his judges, “Send disputes between relatives back to them so that they may make peace with each other’s help; court decisions breed hatred and hostility.”

Divorce is the final step set by Allah for the married couples when they can’t stand each other anymore. The wisdom behind making it permissible is that sometimes it’s the right and most appropriate solution. The teachings of Islam incite that it shouldn’t be considered except after a lot of thinking, and after trying all means of reconciliation between the married couple. If divorce was the only solution that can relieve both partners, so be it. Knowing that the couple may resort to divorce quickly at times of anger forgetting the feelings they still have for each other, Allah gave them the chance to retreat from their decision. Allah ordered the divorced woman to wait for three periods in the husband’s house before returning to her father’s house. Allah also ordered the husband to treat her honorably during this period may they restore the intimacy and decide to resume their marriage, or may the wife discover that she was pregnant, and they decide to let go of their anger and resume their marriage for the sake of the coming child. This plan is allowed for 2 divorces only; if the third divorce occurred, the husband must depart from his wife nicely. It is not permissible for them to marry each other again, and the woman may get married to another man, try a new life with a different husband whom she chooses based on her previous experience, may she find happiness and tranquility. This new experience may either succeed, or it shall help the woman realize that her first husband was a good man, and that she still loves him. Likewise, her first husband may marry another woman and find happiness, or he may regret divorcing his first wife and realize that he still has feelings for her. If the woman was divorced from the second husband, her first husband can propose to her; if she accepts, they can get married again.

When Allah spoke of divorce, it was made clear that it should be done based on equitable terms with a very strong rebuke to those who do not obey this order. This is stated in the following verses:

“If they (i.e. married couple) resolve to divorce, Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

Divorced women shall keep themselves waiting for three periods, and it is not permissible for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and in the Last Day. Their husbands are best entitled to take them back in the meantime, if they want a settlement. Women have rights similar to what they owe in recognized manner though for men there is a step above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise. Divorce is twice, then either to retain in all fairness, or to release nicely. It is not lawful for you to take back anything from what you have given them, unless both apprehend that they would not be able to maintain the limits set by Allah. Now, if you apprehend that they would not maintain the limits set by Allah, then, there is no sin on them in what she gives up to secure her release. These are the limits set by Allah. Therefore, do not exceed them.

Whosoever exceeds the limits set by Allah, then, those are the transgressors.

Thereafter, if he divorces her, she shall no longer remain lawful for him unless she marries another man. Should he too divorce her, then there is no sin on them in remarrying again, if they think they would maintain the limits set by Allah. These are the limits set by Allah that He makes clear to people who know. When you have divorced women, and they have approached the end of their waiting periods, then, either hold on to them with fairness or release them with fairness. Do not hold on to them with wrongful 302

intent resulting in cruelty on your part; whoever does this, he actually wrongs himself.

Do not take the verses of Allah in jest, and remember the grace of Allah on you and what He has revealed to you from the Book and His wisdom, giving you good counsel thereby.

Fear Allah and know that Allah is All-Knowing. When you have divorced women, and they have reached (the end of) their waiting period, do not prevent them from marrying other husbands if they mutually agree with fairness. Thus the advice is given to all those who believe in Allah and in the Hereafter. This is more pure and clean for you.

Allah knows [what’s best for you] and you do not know.” [The Qur’an (2:226-232)].

The rules of divorce in the Qur’an told Muslims about the financial rights which divorced women have over their husbands. If the couple had children, the man has to pay all of the expenses that would suffice their needs on reasonable basis as long as they live under the wife’s care. If the man dies during this period, then his heir is responsible for spending on the children. The heir in this case is the custodian of the children who could be the mother herself or the children’s grandfather or uncle. This should be agreed upon according to the family’s mutual consent; otherwise, the court decides who is most qualified and trustworthy of the responsibility. From the Holy Qur’an, we read:

“The (divorced) mothers give suck to their children for two whole years, for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling. But the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s sustenance and clothing on reasonable basis. No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor a father on account of his child, and the father’s heir shall be chargeable in the same way. If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them. If you decide on a foster suckling mother for your children, there is no blame on you, provided that you pay (the mother) what you offered, on equitable terms. But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what you do.” [The Qur’an (2:233)].

After the previous verse, Allah goes on to explain a very rare thing that sometimes happens, and He tells Muslims how to deal with it. If divorce occurs before having any sexual intercourse, and the dowry has already been agreed upon, then the wife is entitled to get half of it unless she forgoes, or she gets all of it if the husband forgoes. If the dowry was not yet agreed upon, Allah orders men to provide for their divorced wives a reasonable compensation according to the man’s financial capability. Some scholars estimated this compensation to be the woman’s personal expenses for two years if the husband was wealthy, or what’s affordable if he was poor. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“You will not be blamed [for not paying any dowry] if you divorce women when you have not yet consummated the marriage or fixed a dowry (i.e. bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), but give them fair compensation, the affluent according to his means and the poor according to his means, this is a duty on the righteous. If you divorce them before you have touched (i.e. had sexual intercourse with) them, and you have appointed a dowry, then pay half of that dowry, unless they (the women) agree to forego it, or he (the husband) in whose hands is the marriage tie, agrees to forego and give her the full dowry. To forego and give (her full dowry) is nearer to piety and righteousness. And do not forget liberality between yourselves. Truly Allah is All-Seer of what you do.” [The Qur’an (2:236-237)].

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On the other hand, if it was the woman who hates her husband and wants to divorce herself from him, this is called Khol‘. It was made permissible for women to divorce themselves from their husbands when they can’t bear living with them anymore. If the woman was the one who wanted the divorce, the Islamic law orders her to return to the husband the dowry which he has paid upon marriage and to return to him all of his gifts; she doesn’t have the right to keep them if she doesn’t like their giver anymore and wanted to leave him. Meanwhile, this man would most probably want to get married again after his former wife divorced herself from him; consequently, he shall need his money back.

The above mentioned rights and obligations made it mandatory that Muslim women must not marry non-Muslim males, as all of the previous women rights are not binding for non-Muslim males. This is for the protection of Muslim women’s rights. The laws in Islamic countries are designed to protect the Muslim wives against any violation to these rights.

These laws could not be applied on non-Muslim husbands for they could not be held accountable for the laws of a religion they don’t believe in. A non-Muslim husband who does not believe in the Qur’an or the teachings of Prophet Muhammad may not respect nor understand his wife’s daily religious rituals. Moreover, he can commit many deeds that are forbidden in Islam without seeing that he has done anything wrong. For example: he may drink alcoholic beverages or get drunk which is forbidden on Muslims. He may slap her or beat her up violently when drunk or in anger. He may force her to practice anal sex, which is highly forbidden in Islam, or he may force her to take off her veil when outside together out of embarrassment, etc. The examples are endless here. This case is totally different from that of a Muslim male who marries a Jewish or a Christian female.

A Muslim male is obliged according to the Islamic teachings to respect the two religions even if they had been tampered with according to his understanding. He is also obliged to protect and take care of his wife in the ways described above.

From the previous verses we can extract the following laws and injunctions: 1. Before resorting to divorce, the guardians of the married couple should call for an arbitration meeting between 2 trusted pious arbiters, one from the family of the groom and the other from that of the bride. If the 2 arbiters were sincere, they may succeed to reconcile between the couple and restore the intimacy.

2. If nothing works and the divorce word was uttered, let the woman wait for 3 menstrual periods inside her husband’s house, maybe the couple will regret rushing into divorce, and maybe the woman will discover that she is pregnant.

3. The husband must treat his wife honorably during this period and should not annoy her in any manner, may they restore the intimacy and resume their marriage once again.

4. If they both decide during this period to resume their marriage, then the husband can take back the divorce word. This is only allowed twice, but after the third divorce occurs, the couple cannot resume their marital life together and they must separate nicely without seeking any means of annoyance against one another.

5. If the man had agreed upon a certain dowry with the guardian of his wife, and he still hadn’t settled this debt, he must fulfill it to his divorcee without any diminution.

6. The man must pay his divorced wife a suitable compensation based on his financial conditions.

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7. The divorced woman can marry another man after the passage of 3 menstrual periods.

If she discovers that she is pregnant, she must inform the father of the coming child of this, and she cannot get married except after delivery.

8. Her expenses during her pregnancy and the fees of the hospital all lie with the father of the child to be delivered.

9. The expenses of the child and what’s enough for the mother’s sustenance and clothing all lie with the child’s father throughout the 2 years of suckling.

10. The expenses of the wet nurse lie with the father without detracting any of the mother’s expenses.

11. After weaning the child, his or her expenses lie with the father until the nursing period ends. Most jurists are at the opinion that it ends when the child turns 7. After this, the father may take the child to live with him. Others said that the nursing period for boys continues until they reach puberty, while for girls it’s until they have their menses.

The issue is indecisive, but there is a recorded tradition in which the prophet brought the perceiving child and made him chose whether he wanted to stay with his father or with his mom. I believe that following this tradition is best for the child.

12. The expenses of the children lie all the time with the father.

13. If the mother gets married, the father may take the children into his custody even if they were still under the lawful age. The judge may also rule that the children live with their maternal grandmother if she lived in a separate house. This was recorded to be Abu Bakr’s verdict with ‘Omar’s son Assem.

14. If the divorced woman married another man but after a while the marriage failed and ended in divorce, her first husband may propose to her again. If she agrees, they can get married again with a new dowry and new preparations.

15. In case that the woman was the one who wanted the divorce, not the man, and she asked the judge to divorce her from him, she should return to him his dowry and gifts.

This is called Khol‘.

16. If any of the above rights was violated by one of the two parties, the matter should be raised to a court of law. The judge will then issue a ruling based on these rules.

This was the trend followed ever since Prophet Muhammad’s life.

All of the above laws and rights were revealed in the Qur’an 1400 years ago. They laid the foundations for building a complete book of law dedicated for preserving women’s rights. Any person who has the least knowledge of people’s lives back at that time can realize the divinity of such laws easily, and most importantly, note how they have granted women more rights than those given to them today in modern countries.

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6.1 Veil

A Muslim sister narrated that she was once asked by a non-Muslim woman why she was wearing a veil. She responded saying, “Why shouldn’t I wear it while it conceals my beauty from the eyes of those who don’t have the right to enjoy it?” The non-Muslim woman was bewildered by the answer and said, “I just think that if a woman has something nice she should show it.” The Muslim sister then said, “A woman has a lot of nice things, should she show them all?!”

In Islam women are taught that they are not instruments of pleasure for men, they are taught that chaste pure women do not allow their beauty to be seen except by the one who has the right to enjoy it; this right could only be acquired through marriage. Some people judge this to be oppression, but Muslims believe that this is more dignifying for women.

It liberates them from being treated as means of amusement by men.

Actually, veil liberates women from the uncontrollable sex bell that rings inside men’s brains whenever they see a beautiful woman. It places the remote control in the woman’s hand, she can press play or pause any time she wants. The problem here is that most women do not understand the nature of men. The brain of every man has a molester residing inside. The man’s ethics and morals must gain control over this molester, or the molester shall gain control over the man himself. Hence, men are not all alike, among them are those who are pious and among them are those who are not. Courteous women should guard themselves all the time; they should not leave the matter in men’s hands.

Pondering over women’s costumes through history, you can see many fashions and styles.

The one thing that you can instantly get to notice is that all pious women throughout history were depicted wearing a veil. For instance, you will never see a drawing or a statue for mother Mary except wearing a veil. Today, only nuns, rabbis’ wives and Muslim women choose to wear a veil. What you choose to wear is how you want to be seen, your clothes are part of your personality. It’s up to you whether you want to be seen as miss nice hair, nice legs, beautiful body, etc., or to be seen as a beautiful heart, smart mind, kind soul, etc. Know that it’s when you cover up your superficial beauty that people will be able to see you for who you really are. If you are afraid of this, then that’s a problem.

Some Islam deniers say, “Why didn’t Islam order men to cover their hair too, or does it subjugate women only?” Well, Islam doesn’t subjugate anyone. The main purpose of its teachings is to serve and protect all mankind. A Woman’s hair is totally different from a man’s hair. You can always see beautiful women marrying bald men, but you will never see the opposite. If you take a look at the pictures of handsome actors after they shave their heads bald, you will still see them handsome. This is not the case with glamorous actresses. Whenever one of these actresses shaves her head bald to play a certain role, she looks hideous. We don’t see any male marrying a female who shaves her head. Ask your husband if he would come near you in an intimate way if you deliberately shave your head. If his answer was in the affirmative, ask him if he will like it or not. A female’s hair in the eyes of males is way different from males’ hair in the eyes of females. Likewise, the sight of females’ legs has a different effect on males from that which males’ legs have on females, etc.

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Consequently, the injunctions promulgated by our Creator regarding men’s private parts are different from those promulgated for women. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Tell the believing men that they must cast down their glances and guard their chastity, it is more decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing

women that they must cast down their glances, guard their chastity, and must not expose

their adornment, except that which appears thereof, and must wrap their bosoms with

their veils, and must not expose their adornments, except to their husbands or their fathers or the fathers of their husbands, or to their sons or the sons of their husbands, or to their brothers or the sons of their brothers or the sons of their sisters, or to their maids, or to those [women] whom their right hands possess, or male attendants having no [sexual]

desires (i.e. mentally retardants, very old men, etc.), or to the children who still have no carnal knowledge of women. And let them not stamp their feet in a way that the

adornment they conceal (i.e. anklets, ankle bracelets) is known. And repent to Allah O

believers, all of you, so that you may achieve success. ” [The Qur’an (24:30-31)].

The above verses teach Muslims—whether males or females—that there are certain parts of their bodies which they should cover when in public places. In order to achieve a pure righteous society, both genders should cast down

their glances and guard their private parts against

any illicit sex. The prophet P.B.U.H. defined

men’s private parts saying: “What’s beneath the

navel and above the knees is private.” [Recorded

by Ibn Qodamah]. As for women, the verse

defined their adornments, bosoms and heads

covered together with the veil. Their legs are

alluded to at the end of the verse where they are

ordered not to stamp the ground with their feet in

a manner that will make others know of the ankle

bracelets they conceal beneath their clothes.

Jurists differed in considering a woman’s face and

hands as private parts. The majority say that they

should only be covered if the society was

depraved. As for the kind of fabric that should be

utilized by both genders in covering their private

parts, jurists defined it saying, “It must not be

revealing, transparent or tight describing what it

conceals.” Any pious female should look neat

and clean in front of all people but she may look

attractive only in front of her husband.

Beauty is what resides inside your heart, not this outer box which we call the body.

Some girls may be classified as ugly by most boys while they have the kindest hearts.

Please don’t build your opinion about others based on how they look. Don’t be shallow.

I’m not saying that you should look hideous, nothing of that sort, I’m just saying that you should not give your appearance a bigger attention than it deserves. Don’t exert a big effort to create from your outer appearance an image of what’s not inside your heart.

This is why Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. was keen on teaching Muslims that, 307

“Allah does not look at your appearances or your bodies; He looks at the hearts concealed in your chests.” [Recorded by Muslim].

Finally, I would like to address a controversial issue, “Can Muslim males walk around in front of women wearing only trousers that cover their private parts while revealing their upper abdomens, like on swimming pools, seashores, etc.?”

My answer is “No.” The wisdom behind the verses was clear. The main purpose of covering the private parts is to guard one’s chastity and protect the opposite sex from any seduction. Most women find the muscles of a man’s chest, belly, shoulders and arms attractive and seducing. Consequently, the private parts are not all you should cover when in public, they are the least you should cover. Exposing your body is immoral; you are a human being not an animal, so please cover up.

Allah knows best, may He guide us all to the truth. Amen.

6.2 Polygyny

Among the accusations that are always raised against Islam is Polygyny, which is the permission that one man can have more than one wife (Maximum 4 wives).

“Why did Allah allow Men to marry more than one wife? Isn’t this infidelity? Isn’t this unfair to women? Why isn’t this allowed for women as well?” The previous among other relevant questions are thrown at Muslims repeatedly. In the next few pages, Polygyny, its application, and the wisdom behind it, shall all be explained in brief.

The permission to practice polygyny was granted by our Creator according to Muslims’

beliefs. Hence, there must be a big bunch of logically acceptable reasons behind it.

Let’s first grab some scientific knowledge related to the subject; they are extremely important in helping the reader reach the truth.

1. The inner lobe containing the nerve-centers responsible for sexual activities inside the “Hypothalamus,” is in males 2.5 times bigger than in females.

2. The “Testosterone” is the main motivating hormone for sex in both males and females. The male’s body produces as much Testosterone as that of 15-20 females.

3. Libido, known mostly as “Sex drive,” is much stronger in men than it is in women by creation. Men think of sex and seek after it more avidly. This has been stated by most sex researchers. Some tests made on both males and females by Kinsey Institute stated that:

a. 54% of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).

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b. 19% of women think about sex every day or several times a day, 67% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 14% less than once a month (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).

4. The uterine cramps and blood loss that women suffer during their menstruation periods cause notable decrease in their sexual desires. The blood loss period differs from one woman to another; its approximate range extends from 3 to 7 days with a maximum record of 10 days every menstruation cycle (average cycle period is 28

days). This leaves us with a percentage ranging between 10-25% of their marital lives in which they are unwilling to have sexual relations with their partners. Unlike what some western commentators tried to prove—that there is no danger at all in practicing sexual intercourse during the period, many physicians refused this opinion and stated its fallacy. In a simplified manner, they explained the following: a. The vagina contains a very useful bacteria called (Doderlein Bacilli, D.B.); it protects it against the invasion of harmful bacteria. This bacteria D.B. feeds on the sugar stored in the cells of the vagina transferring it to lactic acid that kills the harmful bacteria. The cells that contain the sugar start separating from the vagina for renewal amidst the monthly cycle; they decrease gradually until they reach their lowest-level hours before menstruation.

When the blood loss begins, the degree of acidic ionization of the vagina changes from acidity to alkalinity resulting in the death of the D.B. and their elimination with the menstrual blood. This creates the perfect conditions for the harmful bacteria from the anus and the urinary tract to invade the vagina and feed on the blood, which is their favorite food. It has been found that these harmful bacteria increase in both, number and variety during menstruation, and only the flowing blood coming from inside the body keeps them out of the womb and prevent them from penetrating into the body.

Sexual intercourse will surely compromise this process.

b. The parasitic microorganism called “Trichomonoas” that lives inside the vagina multiplies fourfold during the blood loss period. It is known of causing inflammations in the urinary system and it could only be transmitted through sexual intercourse. During the period it goes up the vaginal sinuses waiting for the opportunity to attack. More than 160 million people (males and females) worldwide are annually infected by it.

c. The inner membrane of the uterus called “Endometrium” suffers higher level of “Prostaglandin” during menstruation. This Prostaglandin causes vaginal cramps and pain. The man’s semen is rich with this substance as well, so having sexual intercourse during menstruation can increase pain and harm women. Modern studies have also proven the relationship between intercourse during menstruation and inflammation of the urinary tract in both men and women. Usually the infection occurs within 24 hours. Regular intercourse during the menstruation period may result in sterility through repeated bouts of inflammation.

5. Pregnancy as well plays a big role in making women revolt having sex with their husbands during several months of their pregnancy and even after delivery.

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In the first trimester, most pregnancy symptoms occur during this period and women feel physically unwell due to the changes occurring. In the last trimester, women prepare for delivery and are mentally not ready for sexual-intercourse out of worry for the safety of their babies after six months of carriage. Men as well tend to avoid sexual relations with their pregnant wives near delivery out of fear for the safety of the baby. Researches have shown that tender nurturing and breast-feeding release bursts of the sex driving substance called “Dopamine,” the pleasure chemical, after which drop in dopamine and rise in “Prolactin” occurs. Prolactin dampens the sexual arousal resulting in the emotional separation that so often follows in the days after a passionate encounter. This leaves the husband sexually unsatisfied in most cases.

6. Women are emotionally more vulnerable than men, which sometimes affect their desire for sex negatively with the least disturbance. Published studies stated that the female brain has a much higher capability of reading subtle facial and verbal emotional expressions. Most Men, on the other hand, cannot read emotions; it’s only when they see actual tears that they realize that something is wrong. “Jessica Bennett,” a senior writer and editor at ‘Newsweek’ and ‘The Daily Beast,’ wrote an article named, “The Pursuit of Sexual Happiness,” describing the sexual behavior of women in comparison to men based on books written by different psychologists and researchers, among what she wrote was the following:

“…But women are complicated creatures: their sexual health is determined as much by their emotions as by their physical state, which might help explain why as many as 50%

of women have trouble getting aroused...”

“In their new book, “Why Women Have Sex,” University of Texas psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss aim to illuminate the complexities of women’s sexual motivations through women’s own words—an important step, they say, to better understanding how women can achieve sexual satisfaction. Based on five years of research and an online survey of 1,000 women, the authors consider motivation ranging from altruistic sex (I felt sorry for the guy) to revengeful sex (I wanted to get back at my partner) to palliative sex (I had a migraine). We hear from women who’ve had sex to boost their confidence, even if it’s with a man (or woman) they find repulsive, and from those who’ve used sex to barter for gifts or household chores (9% of us have used this form of economic sex, according to a University of Michigan study). We learn that 31%

of women have had sex to evoke jealousy in the ones they love, while others have done it to protect themselves from getting hurt. Some, like the 25-year-old woman we described earlier, have had sex to boost their self-esteem, and 84% of women report they’ve done it simply to “keep the peace” at home...”

Polygyny in history:

Dr. Jamal A. Badawi wrote a pamphlet on this issue; he stated many points that made polygyny a historical necessity, the most important of which is that the devastating wars in the past and at present have taken their roll mainly among men. The result is not only more women who cannot find husbands, but also more widows and single mothers who may aspire to a normal family life, so what should these women do?

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Polygyny was practiced by all nations before the advent of Islam without imposing any limits to the number of wives. The Bible mentions many polygynists including highly esteemed prophets like Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David, Solomon, among others.

However, Christians started changing their religious view of Polygyny in the middle of the 4th century A.D., when St. Augustine started preaching against it after about 380 years of practicing Polygyny and considering it permissible by God. Centuries later, Christians broke away from the practice of their predecessors, and made Polygyny a religious sin—

though the Bible itself never attacked it, and most of the prophets mentioned in it practiced polygyny without being forbidden by God in any verse. The history of nations shows that no religion had placed any laws or limitations governing polygyny, neither the Jews and Christians, nor the Hindus and Aryans, or the Zoroastrians.

In modern age, too, Polygyny is practiced in the west by the Mormons, “The church of Christ.” It is estimated that in Utah alone, over 30,000 middle-class Mormon Americans secretly cling to the practice of plural marriage. The Mormon Church accepted the principal of Plural Marriage as a revelation from God. It was widely adopted after Brigham Young led the Mormons into their “Promised Land”—the Territory of Utah, in 1847. However, in 1890, after polygyny was outlawed, the Church funds and property were confiscated. This apparently led the Church to issue a manifesto banning plural marriage. Church President ‘Wilford Woodruff’ later declared the manifesto had been divinely inspired. For a first-hand report on the practice of polygyny in the U.S., see Ben Merson’s 1967, “Husband with More than one Wife.” Polygyny is also allowed by Christian missionaries in Africa and other areas where it is considered a social necessity.

Today, Banning polygyny has resulted in the outbreak of fornication under many names: friendship, affair, consenting adults, relationship, sex-partners, etc. Giving it any name or description, hardly changes its reality from being a forbidden deed in all religions and moral constitutions to something acceptable. Nonetheless, the western media succeeded in manipulating the facts and imprinting new morals on to the minds of the viewers. As far as we can see in all western countries, banning polygyny resulted in the multiplicity of girlfriends retained out of wedlock, satisfying their sexual needs by fornicating or committing adultery. Saying no to marriage and yes to adultery is certainly very strange! Moreover, the children resulting from such relations are ostracized; their mothers suffer the responsibilities alone, besides being looked down upon by the society.

In polygyny, children are recognized as legal offspring of their fathers and their mothers are respected as legally married women. There is no doubt that the second wife—legally married and treated equally to her fellow wife—is better off than a mistress without any legal rights or security. There is no doubt also that the legitimate child of a polygamous father, born in the full light of the day, enjoying all the rights and privileges of a son or daughter, is far better off than the illegitimate child.

Any reasonable person should understand that the most logical solution for all of the previous problems is the allowance of polygyny, but with restrictions and conditions that would protect women and protect their rights, which is exactly what the Islamic teachings are all about. John Davenport (1597-1670), an English puritan clergyman and well-known Christian writer, deduced in his book “AN APOLOGY FOR MOHAMMED AND THE

KORAN” that plurality of wives is not only acceptable, it is a source of blessing from God. John Milton (1608-1674) supported this view strongly.

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Polygyny in Islam:

During the early period of Islam, about 1400 years ago, polygyny was practiced without any limitations. Men took too many wives; later on, they could not be fair to them all equally. As a result, many wives were living like prisoners bound in the chains of marriage. Without any binding laws, the idea of an equitable treatment of wives was practically non-existent. It was all a matter of personal choice and whim, which could make the darling of the day a history of tomorrow. The need for standing rights and protecting laws was a far cry. It was the teachings of our creator in the Holy Qur'an that stopped this great social injustice. It restricted the multiplicity of wives by declaring that keeping more than four wives under the bond of marriage was forbidden. In addition to that, stern warning was given against any contravention of the Divine command, which emphatically ordered that equality in treating wives and fulfilling their rights must be maintained faithfully by men.1 Allah says in the Qur’an:

“…marry the women you like, two, or three or four. But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then (keep to) one woman, or (the women) that your right hand possess.

It will be closer to your not doing injustice.” [The Qur’an (4:3)].

On one hand, permission has been given that up to four wives can be conjoined in marriage, on the other, after having taken the number to four, restriction was placed that more than four women cannot be gathered in marriage. From this verse, we find that having more than one wife is permissible and appropriate only on the condition that equality can be maintained among all wives as required by the Islamic law ( Shari‘ah), and that the rights of all wives can be duly fulfilled. If a man does not have the capability to discharge his obligations in this manner, the rule is to keep to only one wife. Hence, the Qur’anic command is: If you are unable to maintain perfect justice between wives, restrict yourself to no more than one, or make do with a concubine. Of course, it needs no saying that concubines are not available today as the conditions under which such relation becomes possible do not exist anymore. This has already been discussed earlier.

Prophet Muhammad laid great emphasis on maintaining full equality and justice between all wives. He gave stern warnings against those who do otherwise. Above all, he demonstrated the desirable ideal through his own conduct, reaching the outer limits of treating his wives equally even with matters in which equality is not mandatory.

The prophet P.B.U.H. said, “Anyone who has two wives and he cannot fulfill their rights equally and justly, he shall be resurrected on the Judgment Day having one of his shoulders drooping down towards the ground.” [Recorded by Tirmidhī].

However, we should keep in mind that this equality of treatment is necessary in things within the man’s control. Few examples are: the house he prepares for each wife, the time he spends with each one of them, the coverage of personal expenses, the number of gifts he buys for each one of them and their values must be the same, parity in overnight stays, as well as the frequency of sexual intercourses unless the wife herself is ill or asks his pardon.

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1: “Ma’aref Al-Qur’an,” Sheikh Mufti Muhammad Shāfe‘i 312

Equality should even be maintained in smiling, kissing and hugging; the man must treat his wives equally and in the same manner. If he feeds one of them with his own hand, he must do the same with the others, etc. The examples are countless here. As for things out of man’s control, such as the natural inclination of his heart, which might tilt towards one of them with more love, there is no accountability here. This is not a matter of choice.

One can’t control his heart, he can only control his deeds. However, the binding condition is that this tilt should not affect matters within man’s control like the examples given.

Prophet Muhammad treated his wives with full equality in everything within his control, yet he invocated Allah saying, “O Allah, this is my equalization in matters which I control; do not hold me accountable for matters which You control and I do not.”

[Recorded by Tirmidhī, Abu Dāwood, Ibn Mājah and others]. What’s meant is that he cannot force his heart to love all his wives equally, but he can be fair and treat them equally in everything else. This is why Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And you shall not be able to maintain perfect equality between [your] women…”

[The Qur’an (4:129)]. This verse is referring to the fact that the heart inclination is something out of man’s control. But even this involuntary conduct has not been left totally unchecked or unbalanced. In order to emphasize that men are obliged to fight against it if they take more than one wife, Allah continues in the same verse saying,

“So, do not incline too much towards one of them so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married). And if you do justice and do all that is right and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is unfair, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [The Qur’an (4:129)]. Hence, if the man will be fair and just in his treatment to his wives, and avoids mistreating any of them in what he controls, Allah will forgive him for his heart’s inclination.

The purpose of the previous explanation is not to encourage Polygyny, it’s to emphasize its necessity and vital importance in many situations. The western culture, as well as some eastern sects, refuse polygyny. This is their right, exactly as it is our right to see it as a solution for many problems which we all face. Living in denial instead of finding practical solutions is a huge waste.

Annie Besant (1847-1933), the famous British Theosophist, women’s rights activist, writer and orator, said about this subject: “There is pretended monogamy in the West, but there is real polygamy without responsibility. The mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her and she sinks gradually to be the woman of the street: for the first lover has no responsibility for her future: and she is hundred times worse off than a sheltered wife and the mother in the polygamous home. When we see thousands of miserable women, who crowd the streets of Western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in Western mouths to reproach Islam for its polygamy. It is better for a woman, happier for a woman, more respectable for a woman to live in Islamic polygamy united to one man only with the legitimate child in her arms and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced, cast out in the streets perhaps with an illegitimate child, outside the pale of law, un-sheltered and uncared for, to become a victim of any passer-by, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood, despised by all.”

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7. Muhammad, a Pedophile or a Devout Husband?

“H ow do you believe in a pedophile to be a prophet? How can you follow a child rapist and a womanizer? He married ‘Āʾishah when he was 54 and she was 9, are you that crazy?! You Muslims encourage child abuse and Islam is a religion that teaches pedophilia.” [A fellow non-Muslim, 2010]. In the next few pages, Prophet Muhammad’s marriage to lady ‘Āʾishah shall be discussed and explained as understood and accepted by Muslims. First I shall state some historical and cultural facts deemed helpful to reach the truth about the marriage under discussion.

1. From an article discussing the Age of consent historically, it gathered information from many acknowledged sources like the “Encyclopedia of Children and Childhood in History and Society,” “Children and Youth in History – Age of Consent Laws,” by Stephen Robertson, University of Sydney, Australia, and “The Age of Marriage in Ancient Rome,” by Lelis, Arnold , Percy, William A. and Verstraete, Beert C., we read the following:

“In Ancient Rome, it was very common for girls to marry and have children shortly after the onset of puberty. In the 12th century A.D. “Gratian,” the influential founder of Canon law in medieval Europe, accepted age of puberty for marriage to be between 12 and 14 but acknowledged consent to be meaningful if the children were older than 71. There were authorities that said that consent could take place earlier.

Marriage would then be valid as long as neither of the two parties annulled the marital agreement before reaching puberty, or if they had already consummated the marriage.

It should be noted that Judges honored marriages based on mutual consent at ages younger than 7, in spite of what Gratian had said, there are recorded marriages of 2 and 3 years old. The American colonies followed the English tradition, and the law was more of a guide. For example, Mary Hathaway (Virginia, 1689) was only 9 when she was married to William Williams. Sir Edward Coke (England, 17th century) made it clear that: ‘the marriage of girls under 12 was normal, and the age at which a girl who was a wife was eligible for a dower from her husband's estate was 9 even though her husband be only four years old.’ The French Napoleonic Code established an age of consent of 11 years in 1791, which was raised to 13 in 1863. Portugal, Spain, Denmark and the Swiss cantons, initially set the age of consent at 10–12 years and then raised it to between 13 and 16 years in the second half of the 19th century.

Historically, the English common law set the age of consent to range from 10 to 12.

In the United States, by the 1880s, most states set the age of consent at 10-12, and in one state, Delaware, the age of consent was only 7. A New York Times article states that it was still aged 7 in Delaware in 1895.” [End of adaptation from the article].

One famous example is Alexios II Komnenos (1169-1183 AD) who married Agnes of France. William II, Archbishop of Tyre, witnessed the wedding and reported that Agnes was eight on her arrival at Constantinople, while Alexios was thirteen. Though according to most 12th century views, she was three years too young for marriage, but the pope authorized the marriage and approved to it.

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1: Gratian's sources were the Roman law, the Bible, the writings of the Church Fathers, papal decretals, the acts of church councils and synods.

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2. According to Jewish traditions, adulthood is reached at the age of 12 (the age of the Bar-Mitzvah). Jewish boys, for example, are expected to demonstrate preparation for adulthood by learning the Torah and other Jewish practices in the Talmud.

The Christian Bible and Jewish scriptures have no age requirement for adulthood or marriage, which includes engaging in sexual activity. The age of consent for sexual relations in the Vatican up till the moment of writing this is 13, the age when many girls achieve menses, and are thus reproductive and physically capable of marriage and childbirth. If you check the catholic encyclopedia you will find a marriage taking place between Mother Marry at the age of 12 and Joseph the carpenter when he was 90. So, historically girls were allowed to get married, not based on their age, but by determining that they are physically capable to reproduce.

3. Back in time, adulthood was primarily determined by the parents when noticing the characteristics of puberty on their son or daughter. Historically, the onset of puberty meant the beginning of adulthood. The average age of puberty varied from one place to another, and from one culture to another, but in all cultures it meant that the child was to be treated as an adult “biologically.” This age was considered an order to start working by doing the light jobs of that day, like serving the elders, farming, grazing cattle and pasturing sheep, and it was also an allowance to get married.

4. In modern ages, a new kind of adulthood evolved, it is what we call “Social adulthood.” This term is a legal term specified by governments in determining the age at which children are no longer considered minors, but are recognized and treated by the law as adults.

5. According to modern medical studies, puberty for girls generally begins around 10 years of age, and 12 years of age for boys. These are just average round figures.

Medical books tell us that puberty is divided into several stages, the first of which is

“Gonadarche.” This is the stage that witnesses the earliest biological changes in both sexes. The ovaries and the testes begin to grow and increase the production of the sex steroids, especially estradiol and testosterone. Gonadarche, as modern researches indicate, is reached approximately at 8 years and it indicates that true central puberty has begun. Menarche is reached by girls approximately at the age of 12. The timing of menarche differs from girl to another and is greatly influenced by genetic, environmental and nutritional factors. In much hotter regions like Africa and Arabia, the age of puberty as noticed by researchers is reached earlier than in colder places.

This rapid development was also noticed by the famous British Orientalist “Ronald Victor Bodley” during his journey to Arabia, and he testified for it in his writings.

The body development could be noticed on girls at the age of 9 and for boys at 10.

Many historical reports state that boys and girls were married at 9-10 years of age at these regions; e.g., companion ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr Ibn Al-‘Aas reported that his father was older than him by 11 years; he was born during the pre-Islamic era.

6. These customs were not restricted to Arabia, they were the global customs followed all over the world as indicated in the first point. They were still followed until the 19th century when the age of consent in most states was 10 years. Modern estimates in the U.S. say that the average age of puberty for girls is estimated by modern researchers to be 10 years, and the process takes an average of about 4-5 years till its finish.

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That’s why the legal age of marriage for girls in most of the states today is 16 with parental consent; this is also the case for most European countries. Nonetheless, there are some exceptions. For example, in the state of “New Hampshire,” the age of consent for females is 14, and 13 is allowed in cases of special-cause with parental consent and court permission. It’s not that the modern medical studies haven’t reached “New Hampshire” yet, but because it could be allowed without medically endangering any of the two parties involved. In South America, in Colombia, the age of consent is 14 with parental consent. In Paraguay it’s 14 for females, Article 39, clause “b” of the Paraguayan Civil Code. In Colombia and Brazil it’s 14 for females.

In North Carolina, applicants 14 years old must provide a certified copy of the court order authorizing the marriage. Today the age of consent in many Islamic countries is 16-20 due to several factors, mostly, the way of life and the customs that have changed and made females premature and unqualified neither physically nor psychologically to get married as soon as they hit puberty. Birth control reasons and the great environmental changes also played a big role in this. The luxurious way of life has made females physically much weaker than they used to be 1400 years ago.

I can have a field day with this issue, but I think that what I’ve stated is enough to ring a bell inside the reader’s mind, and make you realize that you should take a look at the wider picture to complete the view before judging what you don’t have full knowledge about. Today, most people weigh any matter based on their own personal analogy, the end product is that according to today’s limits of civilized thinking, the prophet’s marriage to lady ‘Āʾishah was simply an expression of his perverted sexual desire, but the truth is far away from that. I shall continue discussing this issue in connection with the story of Prophet Muhammad’s marital life. To say the least, this marriage couldn’t have been issued forth from such an accusation.

Prophet Muhammad’s marital life:

Right in front of Quraysh tribe in Makkah, Prophet Muhammad led a blame-free life.

He was raised up an orphan by his grandfather then his uncle. When capable, he worked as a shepherd for the cattle owners in Makkah. At his young age he was too poor to get married as early as his people were accustomed to. When he grew up to become a strong young man capable of traveling for months in the desert, he started accompanying his uncle in his trade-travels to Sham; he became highly reputable of being truthful and trustworthy. At the age of twenty five, he was employed by Lady Khadijah Bint Khwailid, who was a highly respected woman and caravan owner of great honor and fortune among Quraysh. She used to employ well-experienced men to travel with her caravans to Sham.

Quraysh people were mostly trades’ people, so when lady Khadijah was informed of Muhammad—who was highly esteemed by his people for his truthfulness, great honesty and kind manners—she asked his uncle to let him travel with her caravans and promised to pay him double the usual rate. She also offered to send her hireling Maisarah with him to give him aid on the journey. The prophet agreed and took her caravans to Sham.

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Strange things happened during the journey. Maisarah reported that on passing by a monk’s hermitage, Prophet Muhammad stopped the caravan for rest and he sat under a tree taking shelter in its shadow. The monk watched him carefully then asked Maisarah about him saying, “Who is that man sitting over there?” Maisarah answered, “That’s a man from Quraysh tribe from the sacred city of Makkah.” The monk replied, “The man under that tree is but a prophet. Is there some redness in his eyes?” Maisarah answered,

“It never parts his eyes.” The monk said, “That’s him, the seal of all prophets. I hope I would catch up with him when he is ordered to come out (i.e. preach the book revealed to him).” [Recorded by Ibn Sa’d]. During the journey, Maisarah also noticed that whenever the temperature increased, a cloud always threw its shadow upon the prophet protecting him from the sun.

When they returned to Makkah, Lady Khadijah noticed that her profit was increased four times and more. Maisarah told her of the monk’s story and what he had noticed during the journey. He described to her the prophet’s good manners, honesty, deep thought and long meditation upon the skies and mountains. Lady Khadijah realized that this was no ordinary man, but a holy blessed person whom any sane woman would aspire to have as a husband and caretaker. Many notable men had proposed to her after her second husband passed away. Since that she was an extremely rich widow with 3 young children, she always doubted those men’s intentions; as such, she refused their proposals. But after meeting Muhammad, she entrusted her wish to have him as a husband to her close friend Lady Nafisa.

Lady Nafisa reported that she paid Prophet Muhammad a visit; after a short talk, she convinced him of proposing to Lady Khadijah signifying her admiration and certain consent if he asked for her hand in marriage. Receiving the news with pleasure, Prophet Muhammad asked his uncle to go to Lady Khadijah’s uncle and ask him for her hand. Subsequently, they got married. There he was married for the first time when he was 25 years old to a 40 years old widow with children. He lived with Lady Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her, for twenty five years without ever thinking of getting married again. This was his choice at a time when polygyny was normally practiced by most men in his tribe without any blame. The prophet and Lady Khadijah were blessed through their marriage with 4 daughters and 2 sons.

A few years before turning 40, the prophet used to withdraw and seclude himself in the Cave of Hira’, located in one of the mountains surrounding Makkah. This desire to seclude himself from others visited him every year in the month of Ramadan.

During that month, he devoted his time to worship and the remembrance of his Creator.

This continued until he started receiving revelations at the age of 40 and began preaching Islam. The prophet’s marriage to Lady Khadijah continued for 25 years until her departure. She passed away at the age of 65 after the siege of Muslims in the narrow passage of Abu Tālib. Prophet Muhammad’s companions called the year in which she died “The year of grief,” that was for the grief they saw on the prophet after her departure.

In “Ma’aref Al-Qur’an,” Mufti Muhammad Shāfe‘i said, “The first five decades of his life, specially his younger years and his youth, were all too visible to the people of Makkah. No one, not even an enemy, ever found an occasion to point an accusing finger at him regarding anything that could put his pristine piety and purity in doubt.

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His enemies tried whatever arrows they had in their quiver. They accused him of being a magician, a sorcerer, a poet, madman, liar, and fabricator. But, they never dared say anything, not one word, about his innocent life, about whatever could refer to any crookedness of extra-marital sex or passion.”

It was reported that at the conquest of Makkah, about 10 years after Lady Khadijah’s departure—the prophet P.B.U.H. was 60 by then—on the first night Muslims spent in their homeland, lots of those who embraced Islam were inviting the prophet to stay at their houses with persistency; meanwhile, the companions were asking him if he wanted to stay in his old house, but the prophet answered in modesty with a longing voice,

“Nay, but stretch me a tent beside Khadijah’s tomb.”

Lady ‘Āʾishah reported that once when jealous from the feelings Prophet Muhammad had for the departed Lady Khadijah, she said, “You mention her so frequently while she was nothing but an old woman whom Allah has given you in exchange of her who’s better.”

The prophet replied in an honest burst of anger, “No, I swear that Allah hadn’t given me in exchange of her who’s better; she believed in my prophethood and embraced Islam when people denied; she helped and comforted me in her person and with her wealth when there was none else to lend me a helping hand, and I was granted my children from her and deprived having them from any other wife.” Regretting her earlier comment, Lady

‘Āʾishah said, “Ask Allah to forgive me, O prophet.” The prophet replied, “Ask Allah to forgive Khadijah first then I shall ask Him to forgive you.” [Recorded by Ahmad].

Lady ‘Āʾishah also reported that, “Whenever the prophet slaughtered a sheep, he would say, ‘Send from its meat to Khadijah’s friends.’ When I asked him about that, he said,

‘I love whomever she loved.’ ” [Recorded by Muslim].

That jealous wife was lady ‘Āʾishah, the prophet’s youngest bride and the only virgin he ever married. The wife for whose marriage the prophet is accused of being a rapist and a pedophile. The wife who has reported in many occasions after the prophet’s departure, that she was his most jealous wife; she said, “I never felt so jealous of any woman like I did from Khadijah though she passed away three years before the prophet and I got married. The reason was that he mentioned her too often.” [Recorded by Bukhari].

May Allah be pleased with Lady Khadijah. She was the first person to embrace Islam, the first one to stand by the prophet, the first one to comfort him and assure that Allah won’t forsake him. By all means, she was the best wife and the most faithful believer.

She is mother for all Muslims, may Allah grant us the ability to deserve such an honor.

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Lady ‘Āʾishah’s marriage to Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H.: A year passed after lady Khadijah’s departure. The companions sensed the prophet’s grief and sorrow for losing her; they hoped he would agree to get married again, may he find with a new wife the sympathy and compassion that would reduce his sorrow. A woman among the prophet’s followers was chosen to talk to him, her name was Khawla Bint Hakeem. She paid the prophet a visit and succeeded in convincing him to marry again.

She named for him two females, Lady Sawda and Lady ‘Āʾishah. Lady Sawda bint Zam‘a was among the first persons to embrace Islam along with her husband. They immigrated to Abyssinia escaping the persecution of the Makkan pagans. After a while, her husband died and she returned to Makkah. She was a poor widow with 6 children, and had no one to help her. Though an old lady at that time—older than the prophet himself, she was known of her merry spirit and sense of humor; that was the main reason behind nominating her for the prophet. Meanwhile, she was a pious widowed woman who needed a husband to take care of her and her children. The prophet asked Lady Khawla to pay her a visit and ask her if she accepts to be his wife. Lady Sawda accepted with pleasure.

The Prophet’s marriage to Lady Sawda— whose race was black—demonstrated for all Muslims at an age of slavery that there is no racism in Islam and that all people, no matter what their color is, are equal in the eyes of their Creator. The only criteria upon which persons are distinguished is their piety and actions. It’s worth mentioning here that his marriage to Lady Sawda’s was the first marriage ever consummated by the prophet after Lady Khadijah's departure, which should raise the following question: If the prophet’s marriages were as claimed “all for sex,” then why didn’t he start by choosing a young beautiful virgin instead of a woman who was older than him, described to be large and black, but well known of being a virtuous pious woman?! I shall leave the answer for your intelligence.

As for the other nominee, Lady ‘Āʾishah, she was the youngest wife and only virgin ever married by the prophet. She was the daughter of his closest friend and faithful companion Abu Bakr, who was the first man to embrace Islam. She was engaged to an idolater from Quraysh who was waiting for her to be physically capable so that he can consummate the marriage. When the prophet asked her father for her hand, Abu Bakr was honored, but meanwhile troubled. He didn’t want his daughter to marry a pagan, but according to the Arabs’ customs, he was embarrassed to break his word with her fiancé after accepting the engagement. Abu Bakr asked the prophet to give him some time; thereafter, he paid his daughter’s fiancé a visit and asked him whether he was still willing to marry ‘Āʾishah or not. For his surprise, the guy himself expressed his dissatisfaction with marrying a Muslim’s daughter and broke the engagement. Abu Bakr immediately sent word to the prophet accepting his proposal. The engagement continued for three years until Lady

‘Āʾishah’s mother decided that she was physically capable to consummate the marriage.

After this, she moved to the prophet’s house and lived under his care till his death. Here, two logical questions should arise in one’s mind:

1. If the prophet was a pedophile, then why did he wait for three years after the engagement without consummating the marriage?!

2. If Lady ‘Āʾishah was physically not ready yet to consummate the marriage, then why did her parents—specifically her mother—authorize the marriage consummation suddenly after three years of waiting?!

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Lady ‘ Āʾishah moved to the prophet’s house after immigration by about one and a half years, after the battle of Badr. She was 9 years old at that time as recorded in Bukhari.

The battle of ‘Uhud took place after immigration by exactly two and a half years (30

months); therefore, she must have been 10 years old at the time of ‘Uhud.

Bukhari himself recorded that the famous companion Anas Ibn Malik said, “On the day of ‘Uhud, people were retreating from around the prophet P.B.U.H., and I saw ‘Āʾishah, the daughter of Abu Bakr and Umm-Saleem, tucking up their sleeves and transferring skins of water on the backs of their animals, and emptying them in the mouths of the people (i.e. the wounded), then refilling them up, and returning to empty them again.”

[Recorded by Bukhari].

Jurisprudence books tell us that the volume of the water skins used in Hejaz during the prophet’s time was about 35 lt. of water. This means that the full water skin weighs 35

Kg. According to today’s measures, try to imagine a 10 years old girl bearing the burden of filling these water skins and bringing water for the wounded on the battle field. She must have been a fully developed able bodied maid to do that task. Consequently, this means that she was as explained earlier, in no danger of getting married and this is why her mother authorized the marriage.

Also ‘Urwah Ibn Al-Zubair reported that Lady ‘Āʾishah (i.e. she’s his aunt) said, “It was the feast day; the Abyssinians were playing with their lances and armors inside the mosque. The prophet asked me, ‘Do you wish to watch them playing?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ So he made me stand behind him screening me (from the people’s site), and I stood leaning my cheek on his. He said, ‘Continue playing Abyssinians.’ I watched until I was bored, so he asked me, ‘Have you had enough?’ I said, ‘Yes’ and left.” [Recorded by Bukhari].

‘Urwah also reported that Lady ‘Āʾishah said, “The prophet screened me with his garment while I watched the Abyssinians play inside the mosque until I was the one who got bored.

So esteem a young maid’s (excitement) when she watches entertainment.” [Recorded by Bukhari].

Other detailed narrations by Bukhari, Nasā’ī, Ibn Hajar and others, explained that ‘Omar was about to prevent the Abyssinians from playing inside the mosque, but the prophet P.B.U.H. told him to let them continue for it was a feast day. On entering from the mosque in to his house through the joining door, the prophet noticed Lady ‘Āʾishah’s excitement to watch the games. He asked her if she wanted to watch, and she said yes, so he raised his arm beside him leaning on the door’s side and threw his garment down from above his arm like a curtain, and then Lady ‘Āʾishah stood inside the house behind the garment, placing her chin on his shoulder, leaning her cheek on his, and watched the games. Putting the previous together, it’s obvious that Lady ‘Āʾishah’s was a young maid excited to watch the games, but it should also be noted here that although she was young, she must have reached the limits of body maturity and attractiveness that could make the prophet screen her and prevent others from looking at her. Another point is further stressed, which is the fact that she was tall enough to place her chin on his shoulder and lean her cheek on his. The prophet was described to be neither extremely tall nor short among men, but to the tall ones closer.

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It was reported that, a short while after the prophet P.B.U.H. married Lady Hafsah, ‘Omar Ibn Al-Khattab was informed by his wife that Hafsah was a little disobedient to the prophet, so he paid her a visit and said, “O daughter, never disobey the prophet, don’t be deceived by your neighbor’s beauty and that the prophet loves her (i.e. referring to ‘Āʾishah)” [Recorded by Bukhari]. Hence, Lady ‘Āʾishah was tall, ruddy and beautiful as described in history books.

What’s always misunderstood by non-Muslims and a little bewildering for many Muslims is that: The wording of the original narrations about Lady ‘Āʾishah’s age upon marriage are always understood in the sense that sexual intercourse was practiced, while the exact wording in Bukhari never mentions that, for the word used in Arabic which is “ تب”

pronounced as “Bana,” literally means that she moved to the building her husband prepared for her to live under his care. This is different from the word “لخد” pronounced as “Dakhala,” which means “attain sexual intercourse.” Consequently, she could have moved to the prophet’s house to live under his care, but he didn’t have sexual intercourse with her until her puberty was complete. This is further stressed by another narration also recorded by Bukhari as reported by Lady ‘Āʾishah herself; she said, “When the prophet married me, my mother came to me and took me into his house and no one looked after me ever since that morning except the prophet P.B.U.H.” This is a clearer narration given by Lady ‘Āʾishah herself emphasizing and explaining what she meant by the word “Bana”

stressing that she lived under the prophet’s care till the moment of his death. This makes it crystal clear that she was never abused or mistreated in any way; on the contrary, the prophet took care of her in a way that’s obviously appreciated in her own wording of the event. Their love towards each other was expressed by them both in many occasions.

When the prophet was asked by ‘Amr Ibn Al-‘Ass about the most beloved person to his heart among all Muslims, he answered saying ‘Āʾishah. ‘Amr said, “I meant among men, O prophet.” So the prophet said, “Her father.” Although Abu Bakr was his closest companion ever since their youth, the prophet didn’t say Abu Bakr, he said “her father.”

This emphasizes how much he loved her and found tranquility in her companionship.

History also proves that through this marriage the prophet P.B.U.H. succeeded in educating Lady ‘Āʾishah and preparing her to become the most knowledgeable woman in the history of Islam. The companions, their followers, and all Muslim scholars built many opinions on her reports and narrations. Even the elders of the companions asked her about jurisprudential issues after the prophet’s departure. Abu Musa Al-Ash‘ary, the famous companion said, “Never did we (i.e. the companions) doubt a tradition and went consulting ‘Āʾishah, except that we found her having some knowledge about it.”

[Recorded by Tirmidhī].

If you study Lady ‘Āʾishah’s history well, you will be amazed to find that more than 2000

narrations about the prophet’s deeds and teachings were reported by her. They cover a wide range of issues including the explanation of some verses in the Holy Qur’an, jurisprudential opinions, Islamic morals and manners, and the prophet’s life. The high ranked gift Lady ‘Āʾishah had in memorizing, narrating, teaching and explaining jurisprudential issues was a corner stone for Muslim scholars. Her students alone came to around 200 during her life. She was the beacon of religious knowledge for a period of forty eight years after the prophet’s departure. Because of her young age, she was highly effective in carrying his mission forward.

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This was the wife whom the prophet requested to be nursed in her room when he sensed the approach of his death. The wife who held the prophet’s head between her hands leaning on her lap when he passed away. The wife described by the prophet as his most beloved person among all people. The wife who lived 48 years after the prophet’s departure teaching to his followers how he lived and what he taught. The wife who narrated about 2210 of the prophetic traditions, and by that, she became the one who told the maximum number of prophetic traditions among all of his family members. When she grew old, the companions’ sons and daughters used to visit her asking about issues related to their marital lives; she was regarded a mother for them all. Once newly wedded young husbands went to her asking if they could kiss their wives while fasting, they were afraid this could stimulate their sexual lust while they should abstain from practicing any sexual activity and concentrate on their worship. Her answer was, “The prophet used to kiss me while fasting, but who can control his lusts like the prophet did?” [Recorded by Muslim].

Could this be how a raped child describes her rapist?! Read further her description of the man, the loving husband and friend whom she described to her students after his death, may you realize how unjust the accusation at hand is.

Lady ‘Āʾishah said, “The prophet P.B.U.H. had a shining face that shone like the moon.

He was the most handsome among all people with the most shining cuticle. Never had I heard anyone describing him except by comparing him to the full moon amidst the night.

One would say, ‘We would look at the full moon and say he is more beautiful in our eyes.’

You can notice his anger and content on his face. When he was content or happy, his face was like a mirror reflecting light on your face, and when he was angry at something, the color of his face changed and his eyes reddened.” [Recorded by Abu Na‘eem in Dala’el Al-Nobowa].

“He had the most beautiful neck among all people, it was neither tall nor short. What appeared to the sun from his neck looked like a silver jug with golden gangues sparkling with the whites of silver and the redness of gold, and what’s hidden under his clothes beneath his neck shone like the full moon.” [Recorded by Baihaqy and Ibn Asaker].

“The prophet P.B.U.H. had a broad hairless chest, like the mirror in its sternness and flatness. None of his flesh was flabby, and it was as shiny as the moon in its full night.

His navel was connected to the upper part of his chest with short hairs led like a rod, besides which, his belly and chest were hairless.”

“The prophet’s eyes were big and beautiful with black colored iris. His eye lashes were long and dense that they almost merged.” [Recorded by Baihaqy and Ibn Asaker]

“Whenever the Prophet was given the opportunity to choose between two affairs, he always chose the easiest and the most convenient. But if he were certain that it is sinful, he would stay as far away as he could from it. He never avenged himself, but if the sanctity of Allah was violated he would. That would be for Allah’s sake not for himself. He was the last one to get angry and the first to be satisfied. His hospitality and generosity were matchless. His gifts and endowments manifested a man who does not fear poverty.”

[Recorded by Bukhari].

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This was the description given by the wife who reported that once angry with the prophet, he asked her to choose between divorce and accepting to be his wife in this life and the next. She answered unhesitatingly, “But I choose you, O prophet.” Then she asked him not to tell his other wives of her response when he gives them the same choice; she was hoping to remain his only wife. Would the previous be the acts or descriptions given by a rapped child to the man who abused her?! The previous couldn’t be but the words of a wife who loved her husband passionately. Muslims ascribe the false accusation of pedophilia to the misunderstanding of the accusers.

A Different Opinion:

Some contemporary scholars and researchers argued that the traditions mentioning Lady

‘Āʾishah’s age upon marriage were weak and undependable. Many scholars were not convinced with their argument. For the sake of a complete honest study that can protect those who seek the truth from confusion, these scholars stated the following: 1. The source of all reports in Bukhari that clearly state Lady ‘Āʾishah’s age upon moving into the prophet’s house, was the famous follower “Hishām Ibn ‘Urwah Ibn Al-Zubair” . He was the son of Lady ‘Āʾishah’s nephew. Lady ‘Āʾishah died before he was born by about 4 years, and all of the reports he ascribed to her were as he stated, what he learned from his father. The dilemma here is that the narrations of Lady ‘Āʾishah’s age were all given by him in the last 10 years of his life, when his age was beyond 71 and after he immigrated to Iraq. These traditions were all reported by his Iraqi students. Although he was a very well-known scholar and narrator of the prophetic traditions in Madinah; yet, through the decades he lived and taught in Madinah, none of his students there ever reported such narrations about Lady

‘Āʾishah’s age. Many great renowned scholars have learned from him in Madinah like Imam Mālek Ibn Anas, who is one of the most famous jurists in the history of Islam, and the most famous jurist of Madinah. Imam Mālek never reported any narration from Hishām regarding Lady ‘Āʾishah’s age though he was the first scholar to collect the prophetic traditions and the reports mentioned by the followers.

He collected his book before Bukhari by more than 50 years. Not only Mālek in Madinah but in Iraq itself, some of the most famous traditionists there didn’t report these narrations like Hammad Ibn Salamah and Hammad Ibn Zayd who were both among the 2nd century scholars and coevals of Hishām. Some famous scholars criticized Hishām’s narrations reported from Iraq like Abdul-Rahman Ibn Shaybah (died in 2nd century A.H.) who said, “Hishām was a trusted source; no one ever denied any of his reports except after he moved to Iraq, as he started confusing his narrations, and ascribed to his father narrations he heard from others.” Also Abdul-Rahman Ibn Kharash (died 283 A.H.) said, “I was told that Mālek denied Hishām’s narrations to the people of Iraq and he didn’t accept them.” He also said, “He visited Kufa (i.e. a famous city in Iraq) three times, in one he said, ‘I heard ‘Āʾishah”, in the second he said, “My father told me that he heard from ‘Āʾishah,” and in the third visit he said, “My father heard ‘Āʾishah say.” Scholar Abul-Hassan Al-Qattan said,

“He (i.e. Hishām) changed before his death but we never noticed this on him earlier.”

All of the previous should indicate that upon his old age, Hishām could have reported incorrect traditions out of confusion and forgetfulness.

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2. If you were to read in Islamic history books you will find that people’s ages were never estimated in a solid trustable manner. Back then people didn’t keep records of birth-dates like we do today. Lady ‘Āʾishah’s age upon getting engaged to the prophet varied. In a narration by Imam Muslim, it was seven, and in others it was six.

Consequently, when you add the three years between the engagement and marriage, you will find that she could have been 9 or 10 upon moving to the prophet’s house.

Some scholars like Ibn Qutaibah (213-276 AH), who was a coeval of Bukhari recorded in his book “Al-Ma‘aref” that Lady ‘Āʾishah died after immigration by 58

years at the age of 70. This means that when the prophet married her she was above 13 years of age.

3. Shams Ad-Deen Al-Dhahaby, the famous scholar, reported in his book, “Seyar A‘alam Al-Nubala’” on the authority of Abdurrahman Ibn Zenad (who was among the students of Hishām Ibn 'Urwah and died 174 A.H.) that, “Lady Asmaa’ was older than her sister Lady ‘Āʾishah by 10 years.” It is mentioned in many traditions and history books that Lady Asmaa’ immigrated to Madinah after the prophet immediately and she was 27 at that time. This means that Lady ‘Āʾishah was over 18 when she moved in to the prophet’s house. This was further stressed by the knowledgeable historian Ibn Kathir in his epic book, “Al-Bedayah Wal-Nehayah”

in Vol.8 where he stated that, “Lady Asmaa’ was older than her sister ‘Āʾishah by 10 years and she died in the year 73 A.H. at the age of 100.” This comes in parallel with Ibn Zenad's narration and means that Lady ‘Āʾishah was over 18 when she moved into the prophet’s house.

4. The prophet P.B.U.H. didn’t allow it for those under 15 to join the army on the battle field, as came in Bukhari on the authority of Al-Bara’ Ibn Mālek that he and ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Omar were not allowed to join the army of Badr for they were still underage.

It is known historically that ‘Abdullah immigrated when he was above eleven and beneath twelve years of age. Al-Bara’ said, “Ibn ‘Omar and I were deemed underage on the day of Badr.” [Recorded by Bukhari]. Also Ibn Hajar Al-Askalany, in his book “Al-Esabah Fi Tamyeez As-Sahabah,” stated the following about

‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Omar, “It is an established fact that he (i.e. ‘Abdullah) was 13 on the day of Badr. He embraced Islam with his father, and he was presented to the prophet on the day of Badr, but the prophet deemed him underage and sent him back home.

On ‘Uhud’s battle the same thing happened. Later on, on the battle of confederates, the prophet allowed him to contribute; he was 15 by then.” Hence, if the prophet didn’t allow boys under 15 to follow the army to the battle field, how come he allowed Lady ‘Āʾishah to join the army as a nurse on ‘Uhud when she was still 10?

Things don’t add up. (This narration was mentioned in page 320).

5. At-Tabari, the famous historian, in his book, “Tarikh Al-Rusuli wal Mulook,”

(History of prophets and kings), said the following, “In the pre-Islamic era, Abu Bakr got married twice; his first wife was “Fatilah,” he had two children with her:

‘Abdullah and Asmaa’. Later on, he married “Umm Rawman,” who gave birth to

‘Abdurrahman and ‘Āʾishah. All four children were born before the advent of Islam.”

[Vol.3]. From this we understand that Lady ‘Āʾishah was born before the advent of Islam. Assuming she was born a few weeks earlier, and knowing that the immigration took place after the advent of Islam by 13 years, and knowing that Lady ‘Āʾishah 324

moved into the prophet’s house after immigration by one and a half years; therefore, she should have been at least 15 at that time.

6. Bukhari recorded that Lady ‘Āʾishah said, “I didn’t start realizing the events occurring around me during my childhood except after my parents were both Muslims. Every day the prophet visited us twice, once in the morning and once before sunset. Later on, when the persecution of the Makkan pagans reached its peak, Abu Bakr decided to immigrate to Abyssinia…..” Commentators agree that this narration was referring to the second immigration to Abyssinia that took place in the 5th year after the advent of Islam, which was the year 8 B.H. Consequently, if Lady ‘Āʾishah was only 6 years old during that event, and she moved into the prophet’s house 1.5

years A.H., therefore, her age was: 8+6+1.5 = 15.5 at least when she moved into the prophet’s house.

What I have stated was no more than a verification to the fact that there are some differences between the narrations indicating the age of Lady ‘Āʾishah upon moving into the prophet’s house. Traditionists insist that these reports are not strong enough to stand as evidence on the fallacy of the narrations reported by Hishām Ibn ‘Urwah and recorded in Bukhari. Whether they have consummated the marriage by attaining sexual intercourse at that time or not, is something that could never be known for sure. Nonetheless, all recorded narrations from trusted sources including Bukhari prove that Lady ‘Āʾishah was an early developer able bodied maid. Finally, all reports and narrations by Lady ‘Āʾishah herself totally refute the accusations or the idea of being abused or mistreated in any way by the prophet P.B.U.H. On the contrary, they all prove in a manifest indisputable manner that she loved him passionately, which—in my opinion—is what matters. May Allah guide us all to the truth, Amen.

Finally, I would like to address Muslims everywhere: The big difference in age between any married couple is neither a Sunnah nor a religious duty to defend or promote it. It’s not even mentioned anywhere in the Qur’an. You should realize that our time is different from the prophet’s time. More than 1400 years have elapsed, so please wake up.

Nowadays, the closer the ages of the married couple, the easier they will be able to understand each other and succeed in conquering the problems they face in this mad life we’re living. So it’s okay to explain your faith, but please don’t propagate wrong ideas in the process.

After what you’ve read, would it not be worth exploring as to why someone who had spent the first 54 years of his life as a righteous monogamous person, and in such peaceful abstinence from the good things of life, would suddenly be compelled to marry more than once? What was the urge? Anyone with the least sense of justice should absolutely be eager to know the reasons behind this plurality of marriages.

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8. Muhammad, a Womanizer or a Merciful Human?

“A prophet with 9 wives, what kind of prophethood is that! Prophethood of rapists and sex-hungry people of course.” [A fellow non-Muslim, 2010]. Among the most common misunderstood points about Prophet Muhammad is his multiple marriages.

Many people take it as an indication that he was a womanizer. Understanding the true circumstances under which those marriages occurred and knowing the quality of the prophet’s wives totally refute this misconception. The next few pages is no more than a summary of the circumstances under which those marriages occurred. May this lift the misunderstanding and clarify the necessity behind which those marriages came to pass.

Allah says in the Qur’an addressing Prophet Muhammad,

“We have not sent you save as a mercy for all creatures.” [The Qur’an (21:107)].

Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. said, “The one who takes care of a widow or a poor person is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah, or like a person who fasts during the day and prays all night.” [Recorded by Bukhari].

Lady Hafsah: She was the daughter of ‘Omar Ibn Al-Khattab, the prophet’s second minister after Abu Bakr. She and her husband were among the first to embrace Islam.

They immigrated to Abyssinia then to Madinah. On the battle of Badr, her husband was fatally wounded and died after the battle. Known to have inherited the serious nature of her father, she remained single at her father’s house for a while. Distressed to see her like this, ‘Omar sought a proper husband for his still young daughter; she was 19 years old at that time. He offered her to Othman Ibn Affan but Othman declined. He then offered her to Abu Bakr, but the latter didn’t reply concealing something from ‘Omar. A few days later, Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. proposed to marry her. ‘Omar accepted immediately longing for the honor of being related to the Prophet through marriage. ‘Omar reported that Abu Bakr later on told him, “I didn't reply because I heard the prophet mention Hafsah, so I doubted that he may propose to her himself. I couldn’t reveal the prophet’s secret. If the prophet didn’t propose to her, I would have accepted to have her as my wife.” [Recorded by Bukhari]. Prophet Muhammad took Lady Hafsah as his wife so as to protect and support the honorable lady and widowed daughter of his faithful companion and minister. The prophet was 55 years old at that time. Being known of her firm nature and strong personality, Lady Hafsah was the one entrusted on the complete copy of the Qur’an that was written during the prophet’s life and gathered in Abu Bakr’s reign.

This was after ‘Omar’s departure; may Allah be pleased with her.

Lady Zainab bint Khuzaimah: She was nicknamed “Ummul-Masakeen” or “Mother of paupers” because of her vast kindness and great care towards the poor and the needy.

Her husband was martyred at the battle of ‘Uhud. When she was widowed, Prophet Muhammad sympathized with her condition and proposed to marry her. They were married in the fourth year A.H. while the prophet was 56 years old. She died two or three months after her marriage to the Prophet P.B.U.H., may Allah be pleased with her.

Lady Hind Bint Abi-‘Umayah: Mostly known by her nickname, Ummu-Salamah.

She was among the early women who embraced Islam along with her husband Abu Salamah, who was an extremely kind caring husband and she loved him so much.

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They embraced Islam in its early days and were among those who immigrated to Abyssinia escaping the pagans’ torture campaign. Later on, after the prophet’s immigration to Madinah, the couple took their young children and followed him there. In the course of the events, her husband received a severe wound during the battle of ‘Uhud; he died in his wounds a short while later. She reported that at her husband’s death, she repeated some words which he taught her after he learned them from the prophet P.B.U.H.

She said, “O Lord, I seek your refuge from my calamity and your generosity in substituting my loss with what’s better.” Some of the best companions proposed to marry her and take care of her and her young children, but she refused. The reason behind that according to her own words, “None of them was better than Abu Salamah.” About 5 or 6

months later, seeking to support her and take care of her 4 children, Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. proposed to marry her and she accepted. She warned the prophet against the burden of taking care of an old woman and 4 young children, but the prophet said,

“As for the old age, it has caught up with me as it has done to you, and as for your children, they are my children and I’m responsible for them.” About that event, she said,

“And Allah surly accepted my supplications. He gave me in substitution for Abu Salamah one who’s better: Allah’s messenger P.B.U.H.” [Recorded by Tirmidhī and Nasā’ī].

By marrying Ummu-Salamah, Prophet Muhammad was able to support and take care of the noble lady and her children. He demonstrated through example how to raise and bring-up stepchildren, and how to take care of orphans in the best manner possible.

Her son, ‘Omar, used to say, “I was brought up in the lap of the Prophet.” He always found great pride in that. As for Ummu-Salamah herself, she was a very intelligent woman. Her ability to memorize and teach what she learned from the prophet made her a very important reference for the followers. She reported about 370 prophetic traditions.

These narrations were of great help in teaching Muslims how to take care of stepchildren, and how to be a successful stepfather. They are all available in the books of Hadith.

Lady Zaynab bint Jahsh: The Prophet’s marriage to his cousin, Zaynab bint Jahsh, who was divorced by his freed slave and adopted son, Zayd Ibn Al-Hareth, demonstrated that it is lawful for a man to marry a woman who was divorced by his adopted son.

It further emphasized that the adopted son is not related to his adoption father by blood; therefore, the prohibition law applied on fathers from marrying the ex-wives of their sons doesn’t apply in the case of adoption. This was refused by most Arabs and forbidden before Islam. Arabs treated their adopted sons like their own biological sons. They gave them their surnames and granted them the right to inheritance. This was later on forbidden in Islam. The story started early before the advent of Islam. Zayd Ibn Al-Hareth was taken captive as a child in the course of the Arabian tribal wars. Thereafter, he was sold as a slave. On spotting him in the market, Lady Khadijah pitied his condition; she bought him and presented him to her husband, Muhammad, knowing that the boy shall receive the best treatment. Shortly after that, Zayd’s father—who had been searching for his son—

came to the prophet and asked him to free his son. The prophet told him that Zayd is free to go with him if he wished to do so, but Zayd asked to stay with Prophet Muhammad.

The Prophet immediately gave Zayd his freedom and adopted him as his own son.

He took him to the market and shouted out, “O people of Quraysh, I hold you my witnesses that this is my son, he can inherit me and I can inherit him.” After that, the people of Quraysh used to address the child as Zayd Ibn Muhammad, that’s Zayd the son of Muhammad. Years later, after the advent of Islam, Prophet Muhammad authorized 327

Zayd’s marriage to his cousin, Lady Zaynab. Their marriage emphasized that a slave or a freedman could equally marry a free-born noble woman. The Prophet started the hard task of rooting out the old customs with himself and his closest kin and relatives. After a while, and as could happen between any married couple, problems erupted between Zayd and Zaynab. Some reports stated that Lady Zaynab gave Zayd a hard time and was disobedient. Zayd complained to the prophet several times, but the prophet always reconciled between them and ordered Zayd to be patient. A while later, divorce occurred.

The prophet P.B.U.H. proposed to Lady Zaynab. She was a pious woman known of her devoutness in worship and her generosity towards the poor and the needy. At that time, Arabs were still accustomed to treating their adopted children as their own biological children. Consequently, if an adopted son divorced his wife, his adoption father cannot marry that divorced woman. Islam rooted out these wrong customs by teaching that adopted sons are different from biological sons. The former are not blood relatives.

As such, all marriage and inheritance laws applied to biological sons do not apply.

The prophet had to set an example for all Muslims and started the hard task of rooting out the false customs by himself.

Lady Juwayriyah bint Al-Hareth: She was one of the captives taken by Muslims after their battle with “Banul-Mustaleq” Jewish clan. Her father, Al-Hareth, was the chief of their clan, and she was a very proud lady. Like the other captivated common people of her clan, she became one of the distributed captives, and found herself in the house of a companion named Thabit Ibn Qays. Refusing to live in captivity, not even for one day, she sought a freedom-pact with Thabit. The pact was that she would give him a certain amount of money against which, he would free her and she can live peacefully in Madinah. After making this arrangement, she asked to meet the Prophet P.B.U.H.

to seek financial assistance. She was greatly distressed not knowing how to pay her debt, and emotionally unable to accept her captivity and her clan’s great loss. Lady ‘Āʾishah reported that when she stood in-front of the Prophet, she said, “O Prophet, I am Juwayriya, daughter of Al-Harith, the leader of our people, I have been afflicted with what you see. I found myself a captive in the share of Thabit Ibn Qays. I have entered an emancipation pact with him to free myself, and I have come to seek your financial support to pay my debt.” [Recorded by Ibn Ishaq]. Her wounded pride and suffering as a noble woman who had just lost everything was heartfelt. The prophet decided to resolve the matter, heal her wounded pride and replace the feeling of humiliation with respect and love. He immediately agreed to pay all of her debt, set her free; moreover, he offered to take her as his wife. Understanding what this offer meant, Lady Juwayriyah accepted it immediately. On that day, a hundred families from “Banul-Mustaleq” clan were all set free by the companions the moment they learned about the marriage. Banul-Mustaliq clan were now related to the Prophet through marriage. The enemies of yesterday became potential allies. The defeated clan was now so honored than to keep any of them in captivity. By this brilliant act, the hearts of Lady Juwayriyah and her people were won.

Many of them became interested in learning about Islam. Not long after that, they embraced it willingly and became allies with Muslims. Lady ‘Āʾishah said about this incident, “Because of the prophet’s marriage with Juwayriyah, one hundred families from Banul-Mustaliq became free. I know no other woman who proved to be of a greater blessing for her people.” [Recorded by Ibn Ishaq].

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Lady Ummu-Habibah: The daughter of Abu Sufyan Ibn Harb, the notable leader of Quraysh, who for a very long time was a bitter enemy to the Prophet and Muslims.

Nonetheless, his daughter and her husband were among the earliest to embrace Islam.

They immigrated to Abyssinia escaping the persecution of the Makkan pagans and of her father. Shortly after reaching Abyssinia, her husband died. At that time, Muslims in Abyssinia were living as refugees; they were barely able to provide for their own families and had too little to support Ummu-Habibah with. Consequently, the noble lady who was raised in the house of the richest man and leader of his clan, was totally alone in a strange country with no one to protect or take care of her. Of course, returning to her father who was the leader of the pagans’ army at that time was totally rejected by the faithful pious woman. Begging her way through life or depending on others for sustenance was also unacceptable. She depended on her jewelry for a while; after selling most of what she had, she was left out of options. The prophet learned about her condition from the Muslims returning from Abyssinia. He dispatched one of his companions to king Negus on a hasty mission. As the king of Abyssinia and the caretaker of its subjects, the companion asked him for Ummu-Habibah’s hand on behalf of the prophet.

Ummu-Habibah accepted with great joy. She reported the incident saying, “One day, a maid from King Negus’s castle came to the house I was staying in; she asked to see me.

When I permitted her in, she said, ‘The king tells you that the prophet has sent asking for your hand in marriage’, so I said, ‘May Allah bode you well,’ and I gave her two silver bracelets and two necklaces along with some rings I still had. I sent for Khaled Ibn Sa‘eed appointing him as my deputy. At evening, King Negus gathered all Muslims, and gave a speech saying, ‘All praise be to Allah, The King, The All-Holy, The Most-Revered, The Almighty. I bear witness that there is no God but Allah, and that Muhammad is his messenger and servant, and the one whom Jesus son of Mary told of his coming.

The Prophet has sent me a message proposing to Ummu-Habibah, and I accepted his proposal, and this is her dowry, 400 dinars.’ Then Khaled Ibn Sa‘eed spoke saying,

‘I thank Allah and ask his forgiveness, I bear witness that there is no God but Allah, and that Muhammad is his messenger and servant, whom He has sent with guidance and the religion of truth to make it prevail above all religions despite how the deniers might hate so. On behalf of Ummu-Habibah, I accept the prophet’s proposal and I give her to him as his lawfully wedded bride, may Allah bless their marriage.” [Recorded by Ibn Sa‘d, Qurtoby and others]. From this action, Muslims learned that marriage in absentia is permitted in similar cases. As an honoring for the prophet, King Negus paid a big dowry on his behalf. This marriage in absentia demonstrated how practical and easy Islam is, both as a religion and a way of life. Thereafter, the prophet P.B.U.H. took it upon himself to take care of the noble faithful lady, and she loved and revered him so.

May Allah be pleased with her.

Lady Safiyyah: Daughter of Huyai Ibn Akhtab, one of the leaders and knowledgeable rabbis of the Jewish tribe “Banu Nadir” who betrayed their peace pact with the Prophet P.B.U.H. (Their story was told in p.286). She witnessed her family’s schemes and conspiracies against the Prophet for a very long time. But as Allah promised, he protected his messenger, and all of the Jews’ schemes were in vain. She lost many members of her family in this course, including her father, brother and newly wedded husband. After the siege of Khaibar, she fell in captivity. From what she reported of her own story is the following:

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“None of my brothers or my cousins was more beloved to my father and my uncle than me. I never met any of them alongside any of their children except that they carried me from amidst them. When the prophet reached Qubaa’ at Madinah, my father and my uncle

‘Abu Yasser’ went out early the next morning to meet him. They did not return until sunset.

They looked exhausted and about to collapse from tiredness. I ran to receive them as I always did but none of them even looked at me. They were speaking together and I heard my uncle asking my father, ‘Is it him?’ My father answered, ‘Yes, by Allah’s name it’s him.’ My uncle asked again, ‘Are you sure you recognized his description and characters? My father replied, ‘Yes, by Allah I did.’ My uncle asked, ‘What is it that you conceal for him inside your heart?’ My father replied, ‘Hatred and enmity till the day I die.’ ” [Recorded by Ibn Hishām and Baihaqy]. This narration emphasizes a lot about the hatred and enmity that Jews have for Arabs and Muslims in particular. Jews have always wished that the last prophet they were informed of in the Torah—who would be like Moses—would be one of their own kin, the descendants of Israel, and not from their Arab brethren, the descendants of their uncle, Ishmael (we have discussed this earlier in p.165). Lady Safiyyah also reported that a few days before the Prophet P.B.U.H. besieged their fortress at Khaibar, she saw in a dream the moon falling from the sky into her lap.

When she informed her husband of this vision, he slapped her very hard injuring her face and said, “Are you wishing for the king of Madinah to become your husband?” Then the Muslims’ siege overtook them. Her husband was killed and she fell in captivity.

When she was brought before the prophet, he proposed to free her and take her as his wife. She accepted the proposal, and after her lawful mourning period, they got married.

Raised from being a captivated right hand possession to being the Prophet’s wife helped her witness with her own eyes the truth of Muslims and Islam. This marriage made her dive into that community of men and women who have submitted their hearts and minds to their Creator. Knowing the crimes of her family, and then becoming the Prophet’s wife, was certainly a blessing. After this marriage, most of the captivated Jews changed their attitude and started to learn about Islam and understand its teachings more closely. In his final illness, Lady Safiyyah sat beside the prophet and said, “O prophet, I wish Allah would cure you and inflict me with your pains.” Some of the prophet’s wives felt jealous and expressed their denial, but the prophet chided them saying, “Do you mock her feelings. By Allah, she is truthful and honest.” May Allah be please with Lady Safiyyah.

Lady Maymunah: She willingly presented herself to the prophet and asked him to take her as his wife. Through her marriage, Muslims learned that a woman may present herself for marriage to the worthy man and that Islam allows it with no embarrassment.

The prophet praised her faith along with her 3 sisters and named them “The 4 faithful sisters.” She was a knowledgeable woman, some narrations relate how she corrected for Ibn ‘Abbās some of his wrong opinions, may Allah be pleased with her.

From the previous we have come to learn that none of those women whom the prophet married was a virgin, all of them were known of their piety and righteousness, some of them were older than the prophet, others were as old as him, and some were younger, all of them reported their content and acceptance to his marriage proposal, and all of them were widows who needed protection and care. After learning about the circumstances that encompassed each of the prophet’s marriages, it’s now time to take a look at their results.

These marriages were of great wisdom and foresight, which could never be attributed except to our Creator, the All-Knowing.

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Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. as the seal of all prophets and teacher of the creator’s final testament to mankind was to deliver Allah’s message not only to men, but also to women.

All mankind need prophetic guidance, males and females alike. If you study the prophet’s life carefully, you will find that he was not only teaching and delivering his message, but he was also preparing some of his students to carry forth his mission and deliver the Islamic teachings to all people. In this context, the prophet chose the best and most pious from among the faithful women to support him in his mission, exactly as he has done with the men.

Women have private questions that need answers, and they feel embarrassed to ask them to a man. For example, some women went to Lady ‘Āʾishah asking about the end of the menstruation period and when to resume performing their prayers. Lady ‘Āʾishah explained to them what she learned from the prophet saying, “Wait until you see the white piece of cloth.” Meaning that to make sure the period has ended, a woman should whip her private part with a white piece of cloth, if its color remained white and didn’t hold any yellowness, then the woman is pure and can resume attending to her prayers.

Of course, it is incredibly embarrassing for any woman to ask such question to a man, set aside the fact that it would be done in front of other people inside the mosque. There are tens of other questions that women ask related to their body functions, the other sex, the most secret affairs they share with their husbands, etc. By all means, these questions need divine guidance like all other matters in life, and they equally need feminine mentors.

It was for this objective that the Prophet was obliged to marry some of the most pious believing women, belonging to different tribes and clans, having different ages and different intellectual levels, but widely known and popular among their people, through his life with them, he was able to complete his mission by educating them about their religion. Later on, they served as pillars of knowledge for all women regarding all feminine issues.

Today, after about 1400 years of their departure, hundreds of books about women’s jurisprudence are written and available for all Muslims. These books convey the opinions of jurists regarding many feminine issues. The majority of these opinions are built on the knowledge received from the prophet’s wives, may Allah be pleased with them. Subjects like purification, rituals performed during menstruation and pregnancy, praying, giving alms and charity, fasting, performing pilgrimage, dressing and ornaments, marital life, motherhood, relating to husbands, raising children, divorce, etc., are all dully discussed, explained, and all possible questions were answered and dealt with.

Like any normal human being, the prophet’s life was divided into his social life that was visible to all people, and his private life that could only be observed by his wives.

His private life held many teachings and facets that all Muslims need to learn, from the prayers he observed inside his house to the way he bathed. These noble ladies, or as we call them, “Mothers of believers,” delivered, most faithfully the knowledge they acquired from the prophet P.B.U.H. They shared his private life with their students from the second generation. This created a complete picture for the prophet’s life for all Muslims, men and women. Allah says in the Qur’an: “It is not lawful for you (O Muhammad) to take more wives after this, nor to change them for others, even if their beauty attracts you, except those whom your right hand possesses. Allah is Ever a Watcher over all things.”

[The Qur’an (33:52)].

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This verse implies that the prophet contracted those marriages for a certain purpose.

If you study the history of this period, you will be able to realize that those multiple marriages were a necessity originated from the nature of the tribal life that was still deeply rooted among the people of that era. This needed a practical solution to merge the different tribes and races back again into one family. There was a divine purpose behind them as implied and explained; when it was achieved, a restriction was place upon the prophet.

Think about it, if the Qur’an was his invention and he was a sex hungry womanizer, would he have said the above verse and prevented himself from marrying any woman he likes?!

It’s important to know that the prophet took through his life two concubines whom he educated and emancipated. They both embraced Islam and lived in Madinah the rest of their lives. One of them was Lady Maria the Coptic who bore the prophet his beloved son Ibrahim. The reports differ as to whether he married those two ladies or not.

Either way, they lived with him and received similar treatment to that of his wives.

They are both revered and respected by all Muslims.

Another important point worth mentioning here is that the prophet’s treatment to his wives was so honorable and noble; although his life was hard and full tribulations, none of his wives regretted marrying him. Anas, the prophet’s companion and the one who was honored by serving the prophet for ten years, said about the prophet’s hard life,

“According to my knowledge, the Prophet never tasted a flattened bread loaf, nor did he ever see roasted mutton.” [Recorded by Bukhari and Ibn Mājah].

Lady ‘Āʾishah also described their hard life to her nephew saying, “Over two months would elapse during which we saw three crescents, and yet no fire was kindled in the Prophet’s house (i.e. they did not cook any food).” Her nephew ‘Urwah asked her,

“O Aunt, what did you eat for sustenance?” Lady ‘Āʾishah said, “The two blacks: ripen dates and water.” [Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim].

Lots of information about the prophet’s hard life was reported by his wives and companions. Despite these hardships, his wives never hated their life with him.

Once when tired from this hard life, they complained and agreed to ask the prophet for increase in what he provides. The prophet was troubled because he didn’t have any time to go back to trading. Allah ordered him to give them the opportunity to choose between two things, “O Prophet! Tell your wives: ‘If you desire the life of this world, and its glitter, then come! I will make a provision for you and set you free in a handsome manner (i.e. divorce). But if you desire Allah and His Messenger, and the abode of the Hereafter, then verily, Allah has prepared for the good-doers amongst you an enormous reward.’ ”

[The Qur’an (33:28-29)].

“Nay, but I choose Allah and his messenger,” was their unhesitant answer though each one of them answered separately as they later on reported. Now could the man deserving such an answer be a sex hungry womanizer, or was he a noble devoted merciful husband whose loss could never be compensated?! I leave the judgment to the reader’s conscience, may Allah guide us all to the truth.

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9. Islamic Penal Code, Severe or Deterring?

The Islamic penal code has always been a controversial issue among Muslims and non-Muslims alike. Many people have attacked it claiming that it’s a severe brutal code. “Chopping off hands, stoning to death, beheading and flogging should not be the punishments imposed by righteous human beings,” this has always been the argument followed by many people in reaching the conclusion that Islam is not divine, but it’s a bloody devilish religion. In order to understand the penal code in Islam, let’s identify the deeds considered crimes in the Islamic law, and explain the conditions required for proving each crime, the punishments described for each of them, the limits of its implementation, and the wisdom behind prescribing such punishment.

First it’s important to know that Prophet Muhammad said, “Three are not held accountable for what they do: the child until he reaches puberty, the sleeping person until he wakes up, and the insane person until he gets back his senses.” [Recorded by Ahmad, An-Nasā’ī and others] The previous 3 categories of people are exempted from punishment. It’s an Islamic duty to take care of minors, those who are helpless and those who are mentally incompetent, and protect them. In the Qur’an and Prophet Muhammad’s Sunnah, the following crimes were defined, they are called “Hudud” : 1. Murder.

2. Theft.

3. Fornication and Adultery.

4. Leveling false accusation against chaste women.

5. Drinking Liquor.

6. Spreading disorder (i.e. kidnapping, rape, armed robbery, terrorism, etc.) 1. Murder

Allah says in the Qur’an, “Believers, retribution is prescribed for you in cases of murder: the free man for the free man, the slave for the slave, the female for the female.

If the killer is pardoned by the heir of the slain person, the agreed penalty should be equitably exacted and should be discharged in a handsome manner. This is an alleviation from your Lord and an act of grace. He who transgresses after this shall have a painful punishment. In [this law of] retribution there is life for you, O people of understanding, so that perhaps you will be mindful of God.” [The Qur’an (2:178-179)].

About this Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. said:

“Whoever has a killed relative should choose between one of two things, either to have the killer killed, or redeem the killer.” [Recorded by Bukhari and Muslim].

“Whoever has a killed relative should choose between one of three things, if he tries to deviate towards a fourth option, prevent him. He may request the killer’s death, pardon the killer for the sake of Allah’s reward, or pardon the killer and accept blood money.”

[Recorded by Abu Dāwud].

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If an adult sane person fights with another and intentionally kills him or her, then if that person was caught red-handed, or the investigators were able to produce incontestable solid evidence to prove without any doubt that such a person did the crime, the judge grants the family of the victim one of three options:

1. Pardon the killer for the sake of Allah’s reward.

2. Pardon the killer and accept blood money. (for simplicity, blood money is calculated to be the price of 35 Kg of silver)

3. Request the killer’s death.

Although the understanding of the above verses was made clear in the prophet’s own words, but many Muslims are always bewildered by the wording of the first verse where Allah says: “the free man for the free man, the slave for the slave, the female for the female” , they say: “Why should an innocent free man, an innocent slave or an innocent woman be killed for the crimes of their families or tribes, justice says that only killers should be killed to protect the community from their crimes.” Absolutely true, only killers should be killed, and actually this is what the verse is saying, if you return to the reasons of revelation, you will be able to resolve the dilemma here. This verse was revealed at a time when there was some revengeful feud between 2 tribes, one of them transgressed the limits and decided to kill for every slave a free man and for every woman a man.

The verse at hand was revealed to tell those transgressors that a free man should not be killed unless he has already killed another free man, a slave should not be killed unless he has already killed another slave, and a woman should not be killed unless she has killed another woman. Some jurists debated about whether a free man should be killed for killing a slave and vice versa. The majority said ‘Yes’, the killer should be killed to protect the community from his or her dangers, whether the killer was a free man, a slave or a woman. They took the following verse as their evidence:

“We prescribed for them in [the Torah]: a life for a life, an eye for an eye, a nose for

a nose, an ear for an ear, a tooth for a tooth, and a wound for a wound. But, if anyone

forgoes it, this shall be an expiation for him. Those who do not judge by what Allah has

sent down are wrongdoers!” [The Qur’an (5:45)].

The verse is a reminder of Allah’s law in the Torah. The wording in this verse indicate that only a killer should be killed, and it added to this law a new clause, that’s the pardoning option in return for Allah’s reward. It ends with a warning against transgressing the limits by deviating towards a choice which Allah did not reveal, and this is exactly what Prophet Muhammad explained to his companions in the mentioned traditions.

If the family of the murdered person demands the death of the killer, the judge issues a death sentence. Jurists differed in determining the manner in which the killer should be killed. Some said that he or she should be killed exactly in the same manner which he utilized in killing his victim, but the majority said that this is against the prophet’s teachings when he said, “If you kill, make it a quick death,” so they decided to determine the fastest manner with which a person could be put to death. Decapitation was the choice of the big majority, a few others chose hanging. Electrocution, Gas chamber, lethal injection and firing squads were all rejected by Muslim scholars and considered excruciating.

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Some people think that killers should not be killed, but should be imprisoned for life.

They think that killing killers means that we are no better than them. Well, Islam gave the victim’s family the option to forgive and forgo, but in some cases forgiveness couldn’t be an option. Try to imagine that a criminal kidnaps your wife, rapes her and then puts a couple of bullets in her head, would you forgive him?! What if the victim was not your wife but your daughter?! Some crimes could not be forgiven and the victim’s family members could never find any comfort before the person who has done such a crime receives the proper punishment which he deserves. No father can live normally knowing that the rapist and murderer of his daughter still lives, so who exactly are you punishing here?! If you say that he is in prison, this will be of no consolation whatsoever. We have seen men who committed crimes and entered the prison just to kill the murderer of their children, so what you are promoting is nothing but more crimes. Punishing criminals with what they deserve is not against humanity. We might all find it repulsive, but actually it saves more lives than it takes.

When any person sees another being punished, he forgets the deed that resulted in the punishment. For example, if you see a death penalty being applied on a convicted criminal, there is no doubt that when you see him or her being tied helpless and led to the place where the penalty shall be applied, you pity him and wish that the procedures would be stopped. But if you remember that this convict shot dead another soul for the purpose of steeling the victim’s money and gambling with it, if you look at the victim’s orphaned children and widowed wife, if you look at his grieving mother or father, etc., you won’t but approve to the application of the death penalty, set aside the chance that you could be the victim’s son, daughter, father, mother, wife, etc. All kinds of punishment are brutal, but to be fair and reasonable, we must think of the criminal’s deed and its consequences like we think of the punishment applied. Punishments are essential for protecting those who are innocent and the whole community from larger damages. In other words they have a twofold purpose, the first is to deter all people from committing any crimes, and the second is to purify the community from criminals and the corruption they disseminate.

The reader here should know perfectly well that no punishment is applied on those who were impelled like being in a state of self-defense, or defending others against an assault.

2. Theft

Allah says in the Qur’an: “Cut off the hands of thieves, whether a male or a female, as a [deterrent] punishment from Allah for what they have done. Allah is exalted in Might and All-Wise. But whoever repents after his transgression and reforms; indeed,

Allah will turn to him forgiveness. Indeed, Allah is Most-Forgiving and Ever-Merciful.”

[The Qur’an (5:38-39)].

About this Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. said, “O people; verily, the previous nations were doomed to perish because of their injustice. Whenever a person among their nobles committed theft they let him go, but whenever a person from among the common people stole something, they cut off his hand. I swear by Allah that if my daughter Fatimah steals, I shall cut off her hand.” [Recorded by Muslim].

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The conditions set for applying the theft punishment: 1. The person accused of theft must be an adult sane person who is a citizen of the state, and not a wayfarer who is unaware of the applied laws.

2. He or she intentionally forces-open, unlocks, unfolds or breaks into the property of others.

3. He or she stole from this property what’s equivalent to or exceeding the price of 35 grams of silver. The prophet P.B.U.H. said: “There is no cutting in less than 10 dirhams.”

4. He or she was caught immediately after committing the crime, or the investigators were successful in submitting enough evidence to prove without any doubt his conviction.

5. The country is not suffering from famine or any national catastrophe.

‘Omar Ibn Al-Khattab stopped the application of the theft punishment during the famine period, this was to ward off any suspicion that the person was impelled to steal out of hunger. Moreover, while bidding farewell one of his deputies, he asked him, “What shall you do if a thief was arrested at your province?” The deputy answered, “I shall cut-off his hand.” ‘Omar said: “And so shall I cut-off yours if a hungry man or an unemployed person comes complaining from your province. Allah destined us to rule over His servants to satisfy their hunger, shelter their bodies, and make it easy for them to practice their crafts. Only if we succeeded in providing them with these things, we get our reward from Allah. Know that Allah created the hands to work, if they don’t find a righteous job, they shall search for one in wrongdoing, so occupy the hands of your subjects with what’s lawful before they occupy you with what’s unlawful.”

In theft, the victim has the right to forgive the thief before the case reaches the judge.

If the victim forgoes and drops the charges, the police officers may let the thief go, and the criminal must return what he has stolen unless the victim forgoes in return for Allah’s reward. Prophet Muhammad said, “Forgive one another before you raise the

case to me, for if it reaches me, and the accused was convicted of the crime, then I must apply Allah’s prescribed punishment.” [Recorded by Abu Dāwood]. If the victim does not drop the charges, the case is raised to the judge. If the judge found that the evidence submitted was enough to convict the criminal with theft, he has no choice but to order the application of the prescribed punishment. Any person found guilty of the previous points is sentenced to have his right hand cut off at the carpus. After this, his hand must be treated immediately and bandaged to stop the bleeding.

In Islam no punishment is applied unless the convicted criminal was found uncompelled to make his crime. Prophet Muhammad said, “Allah has forgiven from the sins of my nation whatever they commit out of error, forgetfulness and whatever they do under compulsion.” [Authenticated by Albany]. The surrounding conditions and circumstances must be thoroughly studied, evaluated and weighed by the judge before any criminal is convicted. If a man steals some food out of hunger, or steels money to buy a highly expensive medicine for his ill mother, and he was convicted with theft, his hand is not cut-off, but he is sentenced to payback his debt, which in this case will be paid from the Muslims’ treasury, and it is the ruler’s job to make sure that he is employed and can provide for himself and his family their livelihood.

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Putting thieves in prison and allowing them to mingle, creates mobs and increases their experience. Most of them come out and steal again; but this time, they make sure that they won’t get caught. Besides, what’s so useful in putting them in prison while the tax payers spend on their sustenance and the running costs of the prison? From the previous, it should be clear now that if the punishment for theft under the previously mentioned conditions was cutting off the thief’s hand, no one would dare steal or even think about it.

Meanwhile, if someone insisted on stealing and his hand was cutoff, then the society will be purified from thieves, which is beneficial for all people.

3. Fornication

Allah says in the Qur’an, “The woman and man who fornicate, flog each one of them a hundred stripes. Let no pity for them withhold you from obeying Allah, if you truly believe in Allah and the Last Day, and let their punishment be witnessed by a group of believers. The male fornicator only [likes to] marry a fornicating or a pagan woman, and the female fornicator only [likes to] marry a fornicating or a pagan man, the (preference of such spouses) has been forbidden on the believers. Those who defame chaste women, and cannot bring forth four witnesses, shall be given eighty stripes.

Do not accept their testimony ever after; they are transgressors.” [The Qur’an (24:2-3)].

If a free, sane, adult person have illicit sexual intercourse with another who is not his or her lawful spouse, they both have committed fornication and deserve the prescribed punishment. The crime occurs if the male’s penis glans totally disappears inside the female’s vagina. Of course no punishment is applied on those who are forced or raped but only on the one who commits this crime with his or her own free will.