Breath in my lungs.

I come to this moment pretty shaken.

It's quite devastating the strong hold I have on my faith until I don't have it anymore.

I'm trying to find purpose in my work, my everyday life, but I've gotten pretty tired lately. And when I get tired, it's like I lose my mind.

I'm trying to evaluate what it is Jesus wants me to do. I think for a while, I came at this the wrong way. I have a talent for writing. I must do ALL THE THINGS for Jesus.

But what more can I possibly do for our Creator than sit and breathe, knowing the only reason I have breath in my lungs is because He's made it so?

I worry about the people I love, how they think this "Christian" thing is just a fun label I've decided to wear like a pin.

How devastating for them to not really understand, and all I can hear is the seconds ticking away for them. How lost they are, how lost they'll be.

It adds to the exhaustion.

But if I step back and remember Romans, that He makes everything come together for the good of the ones who love Him, I don't have to do this thing called "try."

I can, for the first time, understand this thing called "be."

And I don't wear it like a pin because you don't wear what you are.