​90. Letting Go and Letting God

A new friend was worrying over having an only child.

“I’m an only child, and I’m halfway normal,” I said and then proceeded to kick-ball-change my way to another part of the room as my social anxiety kicked in.

I suppose It wasn’t a very comforting answer.

But I’ve had this fight with myself, and I know all the headaches that come with it. The looks people give you. The wondering if you just can’t have anymore or if you’re that self-centered to only have one.

Mine was definitely the self-centered thing if you were wondering.

Kidding.

I made this choice before Jesus. Ava was later diagnosed with ADHD and had always been extremely defiant. I knew deep down somewhere that in order to show her Jesus, she was going to have to be my full time job. And funny, because this was even before I knew Him.

But Christ has a way of playing a part in our lives way before we ever realize it.

I see things differently now, of course. I know we all ponder over the idea of “go forth and multiply,” but I’ve come to understand that directive as part of the Old Covenant and often ponder more directly on Paul’s sentiments. This idea of being single and the ability to share the Gospel in more direct relation to one’s community because of it.

I’m not single, but I definitely have a little more time on my hands. And I know because of this, there’s a great responsibility there to use it.

Ultimately, God is the great redeemer. Even if you choose one thing or the other because of a strangely bitter heart, He has the opportunity to change it if you let Him. And you’ll come to realize that circumstances are just that, circumstances.

Your child(ren) will grow and flourish if you love them like Christ loves you. And they’ll grow into the people they were always meant to be despite our frown lines and bouts of worry.

Despite their having siblings or not.

I think the question shouldn’t be, “Will my child be okay?” Rather it should most likely be, “Will I be okay letting go and letting God?”