​33. The Touch of My Scars

I just want honesty. Open hearts and open minds. A total soul revealed so you can taste the struggle, touch the scars.

It’s kind of a difficult thing to communicate after “Hey, how are you?”

And that’s where I have to let grace come in.

When it comes to the fruits of the spirit, I can check off a few. Self-control and faithfulness are my jams. I can be patient. But with people? Sometimes not.

Love. That’s the hardest one for me. But maybe not. Maybe it’s because we’ve convoluted what Biblical love is where I’m supposed to nod and smile and let my eye twitch as I watch you walk toward the flame. I just can’t do that. But ultimately, the grace I have for others is something I need to work on. Because looking at my life, God’s been far too gracious with me.

Our pastor pointed out that if you want more fruit in your life, you don’t work on each one individually. Because no amount of work will get you to Jesus. Instead, we have to abide in Him, seeking and holding onto Him like a lost child. Because He is the one who will fill our lives with joy and peace and patience and ultimately, love. If we stand apart, we’ll become the branch clipped from the vine.

I can’t love others on my own. I can’t pray for my enemies on my own. I am weak, and if it were up to me, all their cars would be lined up in my driveway for a good old fashioned keying. But He is strong. He knows the taste of my struggle, the touch of my scars. And he knows I deeply want to love these things in others. So? I hand Him my keys.

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