Chapter 5: What Happens When I Meet Someone New? When do I Tell the Kids?
This is probably front and centre in your mind the moment you become interested in somebody new.
First of all, be happy! You’re starting a new stage in your life and that means opening the door to let new people in. So enjoy the fact that you’ve found someone. Take the time to really enjoy each other. You’ve earned it!
Now of course, that raises the question of how to handle this with the kids. You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells with your kids after the divorce and you’re not sure either of you can handle this conversation. The good news is that if you’re worried about this, you’re taking it seriously.
Sue Cook wrote a great blog called Introducing a New Partner to Your Children, to address these same fears.
She says, “For children whose biological parents are not together, the introduction of a new person may create what we call a loyalty bind. ‘How do I accept the new man in Mom’s life without betraying my Dad?””
Fortunately, she also outlines a smart series of steps to follow along the way.
Get the timing right
Is the relationship with the new partner stable? Be sure of this before moving ahead.
Talk to your ex
You don’t need his or her permission to date someone else or to introduce a new partner to your children, but if your ex feels blindsided by this progression, their negative reaction could influence your children’s acceptance of the new person.
Start slow, build strong
Gradually bring the person into your family’s activities, starting in neutral settings rather than the family home.
Of course, Cook goes into much more detail in the blog, and we highly recommend you check it out at http://www.familytlc.ca/introducing-a-new-partner-to-your-children.