FOR ARGUMENT’S SAKE

“One is the road that leads to wealth,

another the road that leads to Nirvana.”

If […] the disciple of Buddha has learnt this,

he will not yearn for honor,

he will strive after separation from the world.

—The Dhammapada - Chapter 5, Verse 75

Growing up, I was often faced with an impenetrable wall of irrationality. That created stories in my subconscious that have plagued me ever since. One of those stories came to light yesterday.

I was dealing with the provider of a service I needed, outlining a case for how they failed to meet the expectations that were advertised. In a court of law, all the necessary evidence to win the case was there. But we weren’t in a court of law. In reality, this person had my money and refused to see eye-to-eye with me despite their satisfaction guarantee.

I spent a lot of time digging into our written exchanges and highlighting every instance where it appeared the provider was wrong and even suggested a couple of potentially fair compromises. But I was met with nothing but downplaying, denying, or refusing to acknowledge the evidence that was in front of them, and a resolution could only have come from convincing them to see things rationally, which could not be done.

That drove me crazy.

After a while, it wasn’t even about the money. The story I found myself living out again was, “I just want you to acknowledge that you’re wrong.” When I realized this, just the act of labeling the story offered a sense of relief, as I’d now shone a spotlight on another dark corner of the unconscious mind, which was probably worth the money in itself.

In doing so, I also recognized how the desire to penetrate the impenetrable wall became the driving force behind my becoming a good communicator, which is a good skill to have. My unconscious motivation was that if I could just express myself in a way that makes enough sense, then I can get the other person to see my point of view. (Honestly, I may have missed a path in life toward becoming a defense lawyer because I can’t help but to spend extensive periods of time laying out detailed arguments in the name of injustice).

Repeatedly living out subconscious stories within your lifetime is, in a sense, living out reincarnations of Hell cycles in different phases. But free yourself from the subconscious stories, and you’ll steer your mind toward a state of Nirvana.