ARE YOU DEAD INSIDE?

The wise who know the Self,

bodiless,

seated within perishable bodies,

great and all-pervading,

grieve not.

—Katha Upanishad - Part 2, Verse 22

I started watching a documentary called The Alpinist about a guy who’s been ascending his way up history’s boldest climbers list. The fella spent most of his “career” dead broke, living in a stairwell, doing nothing but enjoying a free-spirited lifestyle.

As someone who’s afraid of heights, I barely had the courage to watch, never mind considering getting out there. But it led me to wonder how many of us partake in any activities in our lifetimes where a single false move could mean our demise. Other than driving, I suppose, but that doesn’t come with the zeroed-in bliss described by Marc-André Leclerc while he solos snowy, icy, rocky peaks that other climbers wouldn’t even dare. He puts his life on the line on a daily basis, just for kicks.

I don’t get the impression Marc is a Hindu sage, but he seems to have found his way toward realizing the body and Self are separate entities. Diagnosed with ADHD as a square child forced into a round public school system, he found a hobby that cleared his “squirrel mind,” as he called it. Ascending deadly cliffs became his way to achieve inner silence.

After a climb that had him dangling off a cliff by one arm, an interviewer asked, “How was it?”

Marc’s reply was, “Super fun!”

“Scary?”

“Not really.”

“Are you dead inside?” I hoped the interviewer might ask. Or has he realized such a level of non-attachment that fear no longer exists?

But where is the line between foolish and brave, bold and stupid, free and insane? This is what I wondered as I shoveled more pre-popped popcorn into my face on a comfy couch. I’m not even sure if those questions were answered because I turned in like a good little cog in the wheel to be well-rested for my 9-5 the next day.

I don’t think we should all abandon society to live in stairwells, but there is something to be admired about such a free spirit, and perhaps a lesson to be had about not fearing mortality that we can apply to our own lives.

Although that said, Marc did mention dropping six tabs of acid at a party once, so maybe all this can be chalked up to a fried circuit.