Studies in the psychology of sex, volume VI. Sex in Relation to Society by Havelock Ellis. - HTML preview

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only in cities is sexuality rampant and conspicuous.

This is by

no means true, and in some respects it is the

reverse of the

truth. Certainly, hard work, a natural and simple

life, and a

lack of alert intelligence often combine to keep the

rural lad

chaste in thought and act until the period of

adolescence is

completed. Ammon, for instance, states, though

without giving

definite evidence, that this is common among the

Baden

conscripts. Certainly, also, all the multiple

sensory excitements

of urban life tend to arouse the nervous and

cerebral

excitability of the young at a comparatively early

age in the

sexual as in other fields, and promote premature

desires and

curiosities. But, on the other hand, urban life

offers the young

no gratification for their desires and curiosities.

The publicity

of a city, the universal surveillance, the studied

decorum of a

population conscious that it is continually exposed

to the gaze

of strangers, combine to spread a veil over the

esoteric side of

life, which, even when at last it fails to conceal

from the young

the urban stimuli of that life, effectually

conceals, for the

most part, the gratifications of those stimuli. In

the country,

however, these restraints do not exist in any

corresponding

degree; animals render the elemental facts of sexual

life clear

to all; there is less need or regard for decorum;

speech is

plainer; supervision is impossible, and the amplest

opportunities

for sexual intimacy are at hand. If the city may

perhaps be said

to favor unchastity of thought in the young, the

country may

certainly be said to favor unchastity of act.

The elaborate investigations of the Committee of

Lutheran pastors

into sexual morality (_Die Geschlechtich-sittliche

Verhältnisse

im Deutschen Reiche_), published a few years ago,

demonstrate

amply the sexual freedom in rural Germany, and Moll,

who is

decidedly of opinion that the country enjoys no

relative freedom

from sexuality, states (op. cit., pp. 137-139, 239)

that even the

circulation of obscene books and pictures among

school-children

seems to be more frequent in small towns and the

country than in

large cities. In Russia, where it might be thought

that urban and

rural conditions offered less contrast than in many

countries,

the same difference has been observed. "I do not

know," a Russian

correspondent writes, "whether Zola in _La Terre_

correctly

describes the life of French villages. But the ways

of a Russian

village, where I passed part of my childhood, fairly

resemble

those described by Zola. In the life of the rural

population into

which I was plunged everything was impregnated with

erotism. One

was surrounded by animal lubricity in all its

immodesty. Contrary

to the generally received opinion, I believe that a

child may

preserve his sexual innocence more easily in a town

than in the

country. There are, no doubt, many exceptions to

this rule. But

the functions of the sexual life are generally more

concealed in

the towns than in the fields. Modesty (whether or

not of the

merely superficial and exterior kind) is more

developed among

urban populations. In speaking of sexual things in

the towns

people veil their thought more; even the lower class

in towns

employ more restraint, more euphemisms, than

peasants. Thus in

the towns a child may easily fail to comprehend when

risky

subjects are talked of in his presence. It may be

said that the

corruption of towns, though more concealed, is all

the deeper.

Maybe, but that concealment preserves children from

it. The town

child sees prostitutes in the street every day

without

distinguishing them from other people. In the

country he would

every day hear it stated in the crudest terms that

such and such

a girl has been found at night in a barn or a ditch

making love

with such and such a youth, or that the servant girl

slips every

night into the coachman's bed, the facts of sexual

intercourse,

pregnancy, and childbirth being spoken of in the

plainest terms.

In towns the child's attention is solicited by a

thousand

different objects; in the country, except fieldwork,

which fails

to interest him, he hears only of the reproduction

of animals and

the erotic exploits of girls and youths. When we say

that the

urban environment is more exciting we are thinking

of adults, but

the things which excite the adult have usually no

erotic effect

on the child, who cannot, however, long remain

asexual when he

sees the great peasant girls, as ardent as mares in

heat,

abandoning themselves to the arms of robust youths.

He cannot

fail to remark these frank manifestations of

sexuality, though

the subtle and perverse refinements of the town

would escape his

notice. I know that in the countries of exaggerated

prudery there

is much hidden corruption, more, one is sometimes

inclined to

think, than in less hypocritical countries. But I

believe that

that is a false impression, and am persuaded that

precisely

because of all these little concealments which

excite the

malicious amusement of foreigners, there are really

many more

young people in England who remain chaste than in

the countries

which treat sexual relations more frankly. At all

events, if I

have known Englishmen who were very debauched and

very refined in

vice, I have also known young men of the same

nation, over

twenty, who were as innocent as children, but never

a young

Frenchman, Italian, or Spaniard of whom this could

be said."

There is undoubtedly truth in this statement, though

it must be

remembered that, excellent as chastity is, if it is

based on mere

ignorance, its possessor is exposed to terrible

dangers.

The question of sexual hygiene, more especially in its special aspect of

sexual enlightenment, is not, however, dependent on the fact that in some

children the psychic and nervous manifestation of sex

appears at an

earlier age than in others. It rests upon the larger

general fact that in

all children the activity of intelligence begins to work at a very early

age, and that this activity tends to manifest itself in an inquisitive

desire to know many elementary facts of life which are really dependent on

sex. The primary and most universal of these desires is the desire to know

where children come from. No question could be more

natural; the question

of origins is necessarily a fundamental one in childish philosophies as,

in more ultimate shapes, it is in adult philosophies.

Most children,

either guided by the statements, usually the

misstatements, of their

elders, or by their own intelligence working amid such indications as are

open to them, are in possession of a theory of the

origin of babies.

Stanley Hall ("Contents of Children's Minds on

Entering School,"

_Pedagogical Seminary_, June, 1891) has collected

some of the

beliefs of young children as to the origin of

babies. "God makes

babies in heaven, though the Holy Mother and even

Santa Claus

make some. He lets them down and drops them, and the

women or

doctors catch them, or He leaves them on the

sidewalk, or brings

them down a wooden ladder backwards and pulls it up

again, or

mamma or the doctor or the nurse go up and fetch

them, sometimes

in a balloon, or they fly down and lose off their

wings in some

place or other and forget it, and jump down to

Jesus, who gives

them around. They were also often said to be found

in

flour-barrels, and the flour sticks ever so long,

you know, or

they grew in cabbages, or God puts them in water,

perhaps in the

sewer, and the doctor gets them out and takes them

to sick folks

that want them, or the milkman brings them early in

the morning;

they are dug out of the ground, or bought at the

baby store."

In England and America the inquisitive child is

often told that

the baby was found in the garden, under a gooseberry

bush or

elsewhere; or more commonly it is said, with what is

doubtless

felt to be a nearer approach to the truth, that the

doctor

brought it. In Germany the common story told to

children is that

the stork brings the baby. Various theories, mostly

based on

folk-lore, have been put forward to explain this

story, but none

of them seem quite convincing (see, e.g., G. Herman,

"Sexual-Mythen," _Geschlecht und Gesellschaft_, vol.

i, Heft 5,

1906, p. 176, and P. Näcke, _Neurologische

Centralblatt_, No. 17,

1907). Näcke thinks there is some plausibility in

Professor

Petermann's suggestion that a frog writhing in a

stork's bill

resembles a tiny human creature.

In Iceland, according to Max Bartels ("Isländischer Brauch und

Volksglaube," etc., _Zeitschrift für Ethnologie_, 1900, Heft 2

and 3) we find a transition between the natural and

the fanciful

in the stories told to children of the origin of

babies (the

stork is here precluded, for it only extends to the

southern

border of Scandinavian lands). In North Iceland it

is said that

God made the baby and the mother bore it, and on

that account is

now ill. In the northwest it is said that God made

the baby and

gave it to the mother. Elsewhere it is said that God

sent the

baby and the midwife brought it, the mother only

being in bed to

be near the baby (which is seldom placed in a

cradle). It is also

sometimes said that a lamb or a bird brought the

baby. Again it

is said to have entered during the night through the

window.

Sometimes, however, the child is told that the baby

came out of

the mother's breasts, or from below her breasts, and

that is why

she is not well.

Even when children learn that babies come out of the

mother's

body this knowledge often remains very vague and

inaccurate. It

very commonly happens, for instance, in all

civilized countries

that the navel is regarded as the baby's point of

exit from the

body. This is a natural conclusion, since the navel

is seemingly

a channel into the body, and a channel for which

there is no

obvious use, while the pudendal cleft would not

suggest itself to

girls (and still less to boys) as the gate of birth,

since it

already appears to be monopolized by the urinary

excretion. This

belief concerning the navel is sometimes preserved

through the

whole period of adolescence, especially in girls of

the so-called

educated class, who are too well-bred to discuss the

matter with

their married friends, and believe indeed that they

are already

sufficiently well informed. At this age the belief

may not be

altogether harmless, in so far as it leads to the

real gate of

sex being left unguarded. In Elsass where girls

commonly believe,

and are taught, that babies come through the navel,

popular

folk-tales are current (_Anthropophyteia_, vol. iii,

p. 89)

which represent the mistakes resulting from this

belief as

leading to the loss of virginity.

Freud, who believes that children give little credit

to the stork

fable and similar stories invented for their

mystification, has

made an interesting psychological investigation into

the real

theories which children themselves, as the result of

observation

and thought, reach concerning the sexual facts of

life (S. Freud,

"Ueber Infantile Sexualtheorien," _Sexual-Probleme_, Dec., 1908).

Such theories, he remarks, correspond to the

brilliant, but

defective hypotheses which primitive peoples arrive

at concerning

the nature and origin of the world. There are three

theories,

which, as Freud quite truly concludes, are very

commonly formed

by children. The first, and the most widely

disseminated, is that

there is no real anatomical difference between boys

and girls; if

the boy notices that his little sister has no

obvious penis he

even concludes that it is because she is too young,

and the

little girl herself takes the same view. The fact

that in early

life the clitoris is relatively larger and more

penis-like helps

to confirm this view which Freud connects with the

tendency in

later life to erotic dream of women furnished with a

penis. This

theory, as Freud also remarks, favors the growth of

homosexuality

when its germs are present. The second theory is the

fæcal theory

of the origin of babies. The child, who perhaps

thinks his mother

has a penis, and is in any case ignorant of the

vagina, concludes

that the baby is brought into the world by an action

analogous to

the action of the bowels. The third theory, which is

perhaps less

prevalent than the others, Freud terms the sadistic

theory of

coitus. The child realizes that his father must have

taken some

sort of part in his production. The theory that

sexual

intercourse consists in violence has in it a trace

of truth, but

seems to be arrived at rather obscurely. The child's

own sexual

feelings are often aroused for the first time when

wrestling or

struggling with a companion; he may see his mother,

also,

resisting more or less playfully a sudden caress

from his father,

and if a real quarrel takes place, the impression

may be

fortified. As to what the state of marriage consists

in, Freud

finds that it is usually regarded as a state which

abolishes

modesty; the most prevalent theory being that

marriage means that

people can make water before each other, while

another common

childish theory is that marriage is when people can

show each

other their private parts.

Thus it is that at a very early stage of the child's

life we are brought

face to face with the question how we may most wisely

begin his initiation

into the knowledge of the great central facts of sex. It is perhaps a

little late in the day to regard it as a question, but so it is among us,

although three thousand five hundred years ago, the

Egyptian father spoke

to his child: "I have given you a mother who has carried you within her, a

heavy burden, for your sake, and without resting on me.

When at last you

were born, she indeed submitted herself to the yoke, for during three

years were her nipples in your mouth. Your excrements

never turned her

stomach, nor made her say, 'What am I doing?' When you were sent to school

she went regularly every day to carry the household

bread and beer to your

master. When in your turn you marry and have a child,

bring up your child

as your mother brought you up."[20]

I take it for granted, however, that--whatever doubt

there may be as to

the how or the when--no doubt is any longer possible as to the absolute

necessity of taking deliberate and active part in this sexual initiation,

instead of leaving it to the chance revelation of

ignorant and perhaps

vicious companions or servants. It is becoming more and more widely felt

that the risks of ignorant innocence are too great.

"All the love and solicitude parental yearning can bestow,"

writes Dr. G.F. Butler, of Chicago (_Love and its

Affinities_,

1899, p. 83), "all that the most refined religious influence can

offer, all that the most cultivated associations can

accomplish,

in one fatal moment may be obliterated. There is no

room for

ethical reasoning, indeed oftentimes no

consciousness of wrong,

but only Margaret's 'Es war so süss'." The same

writer adds (as

had been previously remarked by Mrs. Craik and

others) that among

church members it is the finer and more sensitive

organizations

that are the most susceptible to sexual emotions. So

far as boys

are concerned, we leave instruction in matters of

sex, the most

sacred and central fact in the world, as Canon

Lyttelton remarks,

to "dirty-minded school-boys, grooms, garden-boys, anyone, in

short, who at an early age may be sufficiently

defiled and

sufficiently reckless to talk of them." And, so far as girls are

concerned, as Balzac long ago remarked, "a mother may bring up

her daughter severely, and cover her beneath her

wings for

seventeen years; but a servant-girl can destroy that

long work by

a word, even by a gesture."

The great part played by servant-girls of the lower

class in the

sexual initiation of the children of the middle

class has been

illustrated in dealing with "The Sexual Impulse in Women" in vol.

iii, of these _Studies_, and need not now be further

discussed.

I would only here say a word, in passing, on the

other side.

Often as servant-girls take this part, we must not

go so far as

to say that it is the case with the majority. As

regards Germany,

Dr. Alfred Kind has lately put on record his

experience: "I have

_never_, in youth, heard a bad or improper word on

sex-relationships from a servant-girl, although

servant-girls

followed one another in our house like sunshine and

showers in

April, and there was always a relation of

comradeship between us

children and the servants." As regards England, I can add that my

own youthful experiences correspond to Dr. Kind's.

This is not

surprising, for one may say that in the ordinary

well-conditioned

girl, though her virtue may not be developed to

heroic

proportions, there is yet usually a natural respect

for the

innocence of children, a natural sexual indifference

to them, and

a natural expectation that the male should take the

active part

when a sexual situation arises.

It is also beginning to be felt that, especially as

regards women,

ignorant innocence is not merely too fragile a

possession to be worth

preservation, but that it is positively mischievous,

since it involves the

lack of necessary knowledge. "It is little short of criminal," writes Dr.

F.M. Goodchild,[21] "to send our young people into the midst of the

excitements and temptations of a great city with no more preparation than

if they were going to live in Paradise." In the case of women, ignorance

has the further disadvantage that it deprives them of

the knowledge

necessary for intelligent sympathy with other women. The unsympathetic

attitude of women towards women is often largely due to sheer ignorance of

the facts of life. "Why," writes in a private letter a married lady who

keenly realizes this, "are women brought up with such a profound ignorance

of their own and especially other women's natures? They do not know half

as much about other women as a man of the most average capacity learns in

his day's march." We try to make up for our failure to educate women in

the essential matters of sex by imposing upon the police and other

guardians of public order the duty of protecting women and morals. But, as

Moll insists, the real problem of chastity lies, not in the multiplication

of laws and policemen, but largely in women's knowledge of the dangers of

sex and in the cultivation of their sense of

responsibility.[22] We are

always making laws for the protection of children and

setting the police

on guard. But laws and the police, whether their

activities are good or

bad, are in either case alike ineffectual. They can for the most part only

be invoked when the damage is already done. We have to learn to go to the

root of the matter. We have to teach children to be a

law to themselves.

We have to give them that knowledge which will enable

them to guard their

own personalities.[23] There is an authentic story of a lady who had

learned to swim, much to the horror of her clergyman,

who thought that

swimming was unfeminine. "But," she said, "suppose I was drowning." "In

that case," he replied, "you ought to wait until a man comes along and

saves you." There we have the two methods of salvation which have been

preached to women, the old method and the new. In no sea have women been

mo