Only in Amerika (April 2025)

IN FRONT OF THE LEGISLATURE

A clutch of opposition legislators at the bottom of the steps facing off against the Leader who is flanked by his lawyers, riot police, secret service agents and a scruffy fringe of the armed and hammered.

Opposition: Y-y-you’re breaking the law . . . the Constitution . . . Your Excellency, Sir.

The Chief Justice looks away.

You can’t just—

Leader: Silence! Turns to the swelling crowd beyond his entourage and raises his hands palms upward.

Crowd: Stop the steal!

Leader: Nooooo! Not that one.

Crowd: Lock her up!

Leader: Not that one either.

Crowd: Lock them up?

Leader: No. And you're getting colder.

Crowd: Long live the Don!

Leader: KING not DON! Off mic. They're REALLY not too bright, are they?

Crowd: Long live Don King!

Aide: Off mic. Sir, that might be as good as it gets today.

Leader: Off mic. What happened to the rousers?

Aide: Off mic. Dismissed, sir.

Leader: Off mic. Damn that melon head! On mic. Repeat after me: Long live the … pause … and fill in the blank.

Crowd: Long live the … pause … and fill in the blank.

Here and there a puzzled look.

Leader: Still on mic. Clear 'em out! I'm sick of this stupidity.

Aide: Off mic. Yes, sir.

Crowd: Clear them out! Clear them out! Coughing, gagging and choking as white smoke swallows them.

In the background: ‘God Bless America’ is being sung by a white-robed choir that has appeared out of nowhere.

_____

1st passerby: Faqat fi amrika!

2nd passerby: You can say that again.

1st passerby: Only in Amerika.

2nd passerby: Sí! Solo en américa.

3rd passerby: Incroyable! C'est terrible.

4th passerby: Ja! Es ist Wahnsinn.

5th passerby: Hadn't you heard?