If you want to know the truth

About the all the lies

I told myself,

It really just boils

down to this:

The thought of losing

Everything, watching

Control slink

through my fingers,

And nodding and smiling

Like a child easily entertained

Was the same as a slow death.

I took little paranoid sips,

Watching my whole world

Crumble and break

As you grinned and won

This life that I had to lay down.

But now in the folds

of my "better" brain,

I'm coccooned in reality–

How loud it must

have been when your heart

broke, but not as loud

As the quiet when

I didn't even think

to say "I'm sorry."