11.  The Only Way to Be

I remember one time feeling

like a girl and that meant

losing all touch with the way

things were in favor

of the way I was.

But over the years, I ran

miles to burn the fat

off my wild imagination

and colored the strands

of my wayward need

to read and write all

the words and plucked

away any bits of autonomy

only for guilt to grow in

fuller and darker than I could

even bear.

After this mess I made

of myself came that short

end of the stick, the hopeless

art of never measuring up,

only for You to tip my chin,

and reveal your upside-down

world where the way I am

is the only way to be.