My soul my life my passion in these words of a young poet by Tiquana williams - HTML preview

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My soul, my passion, my life

In these words of a young poet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3men, 3days, 3nights

 

 

Woosh, swish, pow; 3men, 3days, 3nights;

One scream, one cry, one fight;

 

 

1st day: like the summer breeze he came and left;

Played with my mind, my heart, caused pure stress;

2nd day: alley oop, jump shot, this man came through;

The sweetest person alive but what do I do;

3rd day: from the depths of my soul he reached in and took my life;

The first time I’ve ever been in love and I paid a full price;

 

 

 

1st afternoon: he surely came back;

With an im sorry baby; yet again I relapsed;

2nd afternoon: he said he loved me, brought me flowers, then took me on date;

For that I was thankful, a relief, it was great;

3rd afternoon: hey baby! how you doing;

The nerve of him when my heart he just ruined;

 

 

 

 

 

1st night: after all the time we spent alone in this long crazy day:

His ex calls his phone and again he leaves me astray;

2nd night: the best man in the world still by my side;

knew my pain and frustration, but was still down to ride;

3rd night: he screwed my cousin in the outside hall of my house;

I couldn’t take anymore pain so said,… get the fuck out;

 

 

That’s my tail of 3men in 3days;

Number two was who I chose to keep and no more will I be strayed!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a child’s pain

 

 

This little black girl from H.C.T;

The town of hard knocks explained jay-z;

4 years old the life of a stray;

19 years later still trying to escape;

Step pops I remember beating me like a church drum;

Nowhere to hide nowhere to run;

Selling my asthma machine so he could cop a fix;

Being so afraid I developed a twitch;

On edge like cliff hanger; looking for signs of anger;

All he used was belt buckles, cords and wire hangers;

5 years old urinating on myself, because he was in the bathroom; and not with my moms;

You nasty bitch he screamed; and threw me some clothes like trash to a dump;

My 7 year old brother cleaned me up and got me dressed;

He rocked me as I cried; for him; I was truly blessed;

Removed by dcf; returned a year later;

Things were good for a while; but then became even graver;

Ah month into us coming home; step pops returned with a smile;

The rage in my eyes, at the top of my lungs I screamed so loud;

Bags in hand; moms let him in;

Back to the abuse; here we go again;

Changing my baby brother’s diapers, feeding him, cleaning, washing clothes by hand, Midas well had been cooking;

And his lazy ass just sitting on the couch looking;

Aw Jerome; this house looks so nice; mom says when she comes in;

I know; I’ve been cleaning all day and running behind these bad ass kids;

I knew betta then to tell the truth;

She wasn’t gone believe me anyways and holding my breath; I was gone blow the roof;

Age nine; we moved to New York; and again they broke up;

I ain’t gone front, I was happy as fuck;

During our stay she met this guy named Stanley;

Who was very nice at first but soon became my worst enemy;

A party for his niece he convinced my mom to let us go to; pack the Barbie dress;

My niece has one just like it; I think it would be best;

She didn’t even question it wouldn’t you;

He had her mind so gone she ain’t even have a clue;

I stayed the night over there; his sister knew something was weird;

Stan?... why does she have to sleep in there

Because her mother says that she wants her with me at all times;

My daughter has room in her bed, she’ll like it; she’ll be fine;

Yeah! I know but her mother wants her with me;

What kind of mother would say something like that! She must be crazy! Couldn’t be me;

I was afraid because I felt something wasn’t right;

He whispered in my ear goodnight; then laid by my side;

When he thought I was sleep; I felt a hand creep up my thigh;

I slowly began to cry; a few seconds later he starts to push his finger inside;

Again this is happening to me why;

I laid there stiff as a board, wanting to scream but all I could do is die;

How dear he touch me like that; a child;

How dear he; I wanted to go wild;

I hated so much; so many people; after that; only silence for a while;

Kinda like a stiff Barbie doll;

I locked the bathroom door every time I went in;

Thought it would help but it just caused more stress;

I never told my mother; just stayed under cover;

Not one soul knew; not even my brother;

Same age; step father back in the picture;

Emotionally,… my problems got bigger;

Ten years old; being chased up the block from school;

Knives held to my neck, black eyes, gum stuck in my hair; cause those same girls wanted to be cool;

Age thirteen I lost my virginity but not consensually;

By this guy named mecca whom was so called into me;

Let’s just try; he said; if it hurts to much I’ll take it out I promise;

But little did I know;… he was not being honest;

He went faster and harder; the more I fought; the tighter his hand got over my mouth;

So all you could hear,… was little squeals like a mouse;

14 ½; pregnant with my first child;

A single parent; but his beauty was wow;

It was so hard but what could I say;

He was the one who made me the strong woman I am today;

16 years old on the block out tricking;

All because I didn’t like the way my mama had us living;

Every time you turned around,… no food, no heat;

So cold sometimes that we weeped;

Because of those days, one day I would have to pay the price;

It would be that craze price that almost lost me my life;

But yet again back on the street;

No diapers, no milk, so I continued this beat;

A few years later, doing this till 09’;

More kids to take care of; hers and mine;

Never having a break; till I made that mistake;

That landed me a four year sentence in the niantic state;

Still,… there was no escape;

Everything there was just a game of hurry up and wait;

I couldn’t be late; I had to save my children;

I had to go right now and save them from those villans;

It didn’t work; my mind went bizzerk;

Everybody turned against me even the juvenile desk clerk;

The pain I endured from 09’ till now;

Was definitely enough to make a preacher say wow;

To help you understand,… I wrote this lullaby;

To help ease my pain but keep pushing me to try;

So hear I go; please; just bear with me;

This is my life so don’t take it gently!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lullaby

 

 

 

Rock me to sleep oh precious one;

Take this pain away; make me numb;

No more crying; I cant take it anymore;

Build my heart higher and higher so it sores;

Relax me peacefully; touch me deeply;

My mind with frustration builds so easily;

Wash me pure dear lord; make me forget what has happened;

Of my children being stripped from my arms like magic;

Now you see them; now you don’t;

Be a mother again; you most assuredly wont;

You are not a mother today;

You are a monster they say;

You call yourself fit? Please! You ain’t fit;

Just another from the ghetto they ain’t gone miss;

They deserve to live in a big fancy house;

Not where every where you turn; there’s a corner peeking mouse;

They need someone that can give them what they want;

Not someone buying used goods from an old storage trunk;

I love my children and care for them as best I could;

Cut the chit chatter, sign the papers, they good;

Hell no! you crazy! I refuse to donate my rights;

Once again, sign them or you’ll pay the price;

Do what you got to,… in the end imah win;

Think so lady? Then the challenge began!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My very first visit, my eldest son Elijah comes with a bruise on his chest;

Who did that to you?

Auntie bettie he says; cause I made her mad;

My 3 year old baby; what the fuck;

Meditation on my brain was all I could muster up;

 

2nd time he came with scars between his legs;

3rd time he told me he was fondled in bed;

4th time my little Trevor, age one, was open the size of a quarter;

I called the police and the ambulance; my visits were took, court ordered;

I even tried to plead my case but the judge wouldn’t listen;

D.C.F; wouldn’t lie and you should be the one imprisoned;

Visit 5; 9weeks later;

This story so sad became even graver;

Trevor couldn’t talk so Elijah had to tell me;

Trevor got a beaten; mommy please help we;

 

I wont do it again, I promise I’ll be good;

I hurt so much inside, I wish he understood;

I spoke to the worker, she pretended not to see it;

Then reversed it in court, said I was the one who beat him;

 

6th time made me almost lose my mind;

But I wanted to keep my visits so I fought with my pride;

Elijah came! His whole right hand bruised from a belt whelp;

I knew because that was me but his response was he fell;

2 visits later; I asked him the same question as before;

And he said,… mommy I slammed my hand in the door;

 

I tore because I knew he was lying;

For that! Hell no! I’d be damned if I keep quiet;

I took pictures and brought them to his pediatrician;

Ms. Williams; yes he has been harshly disciplined;

Can I record this conversation;

Yes you can and if you have any questions you know where I am;

 

So I brought it to both my lawyers to try and get the courts to listen;

But them along with the courts said I was just craving attention;

I promised myself that I would never give up;

That I’d keep on pushing till I ran into luck;

9th time Elijah didn’t show up;… for the 5th time in 3months; he was sick;

But Trevor came looking so sad and silent as a stick;

 

Head hanging low; not willing to speak or cry;

I couldn’t figure him out so I died a little more inside;

What’s wrong with Elijah; repeat that again;

He’s been throwing up all night and fevering;

Have they taken him to the doctor,… oh no! he’s alright;

Now was the time to speak up no matter the outcome; because something wasn’t right;

I thought you said he’s been throwing up all night;

No! what I meant was until midnight last night;

So why didn’t he come to the visit this morning;

They wanted to observe him, make sure he was okay;

If I find out all this time my kids have been enduring abuse and you knew about it ;

I promise to make sure you rot in jail cause I’m pressing full charges;

 

Ms. Williams; how could you say something like that; I love your children and I would never place then in danger;

But yet you would place them with total strangers;

To that she had no comment so I thought nothing of it;

But the following my visits were taken because of it;

3weeks later; my rights were removed;

Because my lawyer along with dcf told me that my court date was changed; now that’s just cruel;

 

Never getting a chance to speak; went through depression for weeks;

Starving myself with not a bite to eat; to the point where I was limp and week;

I had to pick myself up though; I had no other chance;

Because of my baby girl; if I left then who would she have in this world;

2 ½ years later still fighting for my rights;

Despite the hurt, pain and exhaustion it brings each night;

 

I was told to give up; work on myself; they’ll come back looking for you when they’re eighteen;

But if you were in my shoes; would you give up on this dream;

Would you give up on your babies to let someone they don’t know take your spot;

To forget all the pain, laughter and joy; from the time you got knocked;

If you said yes,… I don’t think that’s very true;

Only a person insane would say stuff that’s delusional;

 

4babies I have, yes im only 23 but im glad;

Just the thought of them in my life, my world was never sad;

There’s a commitment that we make as loving mothers;

And that’s to never give up no matter the obstacles may come;

So to those people who thought that they tore my family apart;

To my kids, my babies, I’ll always be # one;

With god on my side I’ll always carry lots of pride;

You think you took me down but I’ll always survive!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Poem : a long shattered note

 

Dear john,

 

Deep whispers in my soul,.. my body blast crazy;

You’re so unique that you trapped my heart; my love for you is blazy;

I spit these melodies higher than my mind can take me;

Fuel the gas, as you leave me in the past;

Stuck on future; but my minds ever last;

Behold the strength; I have no more;

I left it outside those steel jail doors;

Speak to my spirit; take my breath away;

You were my world spinning day by day;

This marks the 3rd, almost 4th year I knew you;

My life is everywhere; but my mind is gaining stipularity;

 

I never gave up on trying to be there for you;

But my gut feeling is screaming,.. maybe you don’t deserve better;

Maybe she’s all that im not plus mad cheddar;

My hearts shattered like ice sticks;

I carried a piece of you like trident;

Laughter, chit chatter, this solid inferno space;

4by4 cell, im so nervous as I pace;

This board and walk, with you on my mind;

Intense varsarity, tika drops silver dimes;

It’s like I checked in a rehab and you’re my disease;

As I take on these shakes,.. I’m screaming just one more hit, I cant take it please;

 

Help me to train this water;

to stay still,.. tight like morguers;

im strapped with this piece,.. cause I wana protect myself;

my soul still bleeds the stage of mental health;

dilarity; you and me;

I want it so bad;.. the feeling to just let it be;

As I dance to this tune,.. reruns of love and hip hop, I’m Josie, you’re her man;

But these thoughts quickly fade,.. like a rock in quick sand;

I blaze,… not an l,… but what I dwell;

Secrets lye so deep in this coma,.. cause you cast a spell

Said I got game,.. no sorry,.. you do;

And you’ve played me all out, like a play station 2;

Me,… hate you; naw; that’s just stupid;

Because,.. you see,.. it’s all my fault; not the shorty named cupids;

We’re taking math class,.. algebra,.. let’s solve this problem;

I stop chasing you,.. so you,.. wont have to stomp em’;

Dreams about you crazy; shit that’s amazing;

But will I ever be that one to replace em’;

Nope!,.. that’s why life’s such a joke;

Staring in this mirror,… no illusions,… just smoke;

What’s even crazier,.. is cause I already know what you gone do with this letter;

But time is of the essence; so I’ll let you go ahead and let her;

I don’t even understand,… why I still keep writing you;

Cant I just get it,.. J.A,.. we’re through!

 

 

 

Tiqauana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A mothers love

mama tasha

 

This life so painful, but yet so much joy;

Expressions of tears and happiness;

Blend together like rain drops in the dirt;

I felt that pain when you were ripped away;

Like veins being pulled from my heart;

I never stopped praying and having faith that you would one day return;

To mend the broken pieces I lost along the way;

 

5 years I fought, so lonely;

With only god to take on this path with me;

I counted on those surrounding me, to be my shield, my rock, to block the fire that was coming my way;

But when the chips fell,… they moved quicker than lightning;

So afraid I was, after that, to trust anyone, even god;

But be knowest to the fact that he would be my rock in that pond;

I always believed that everything happens for a reason;

Like the year that breaks down into four seasons;

Just like you guys being removed from my life;

God has his own way of doing things right;

As I sit in this bed and I write in this journal; About all of my pain;

I know that somewhere, along this road, that you are doing the same thing;

 

Those nights, oh those nights, I surely still remember;

Tucking you guys in, even when it wasn’t winter;

Hugs, kisses and loads of family fun;

Believe me when I say, no matter who comes along, you guys, my beautifully, intelligent, children, will always be # one;

 

The day each of you were born, our worlds entwined;

I cried tears of joy upon hearing your first cry;

Like blooming flowers in the sun;

The melodies of each of your lives had just begun;

You created in me your mother figure;

And loved me no matter what, even when others begged to differ;

 

 

I love you guys and not being there physically, hurts me;

But know one thing, that my soul is with you earthly;

I know that I made mistakes and I cant take them back;

But everyday; my body remains on go mode, waiting to restack;

To rebuild, to re-heal, where you felt there was pain;

To guide you through life so you have no strains;

Stresses will come, but only shall they, in your adulthood;

But for now, I am willing to do all I could;

 

To be the best I can be; like the national guard;

To love and protect you, like be your body guard;

I am not the person I was, but I am the person god made me out to be;

And to my children I hope you can except this long, sought out, apology;

from your dear mother, I love you guys;

no more secrets, no more lies, only happiness and the will power to survive!

 

 

Diamond da poet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apologies not

 

 

Sorry for the disturbance, didn’t know you were the one hurting;

I thought you told me you were single, that you wanted to be with me forever;

Through rain and stormy weather;

I thought you wanted me to have your baby;

Marry you, like be your main lady;

3years,… do the math;

Now I’m all alone walking this rough path;

 

 

 

Sorry for the disturbance, didn’t think you were the one hurting;

Didn’t know you were the one up all night afraid, not knowing where the hell I was;

Having no clue that this was all lust;

Or was I the one who had the baby daddy come to your house on some R&B shit;

Telling him all those lies about what we never did;

Telling him that your kid wasn’t mine;

Knowing 2days before I was laying in your bed spitting line after line;

 

 

 

Sorry for the disturbance, didn’t know you were the one hurting;

Spending time with me, writing jail letters;

Glad I ain’t send you no cheddar;

All those court days for you, me missing school and shit;

And my dumb self just wouldn’t quit;

Asking how your son was doing even after you took so long to tell me;

And you wouldn’t even take time out of your month to come see me in jail bee;

Sorry I decided to love you;

Sorry I couldn’t be the jump off for your crew;

Sorry I even stayed faithful;

After the fact you acted so hateful;

Sorry I’m still trying 3years later;

Even after you ignored my pain on pen and paper;

Sorry for the disturbance, guess I’ll remain hurting!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the seasons change

 

 

Summer,… the essence of blooming flowers;

The nature of a woman’s power;

The maturity of things growing, life re’borning;

The beautiful shining you love to see in the morning;

The smells,… scents of cologne and perfume in the air;

Bakeries baking; cookers cooking;

And flied up men’s just looking;

At the women in the booty shorts and summer dresses;

Still thinking bout they lovers but not stressing;

Kids ages 18 and under having fun in the park;

Girls playing double dutch and boys balling till dark;

Babies on the toddler swings and slides;

Toddlers on the merry go round asking for one more ride;

Summer days so awesome and fun;

Use them, use them, till their done!

 

 

Fall comes around; colorful leaves on the ground;

People outside making large leaf piles;

2 favorite holidays,… Halloween and thanks giving;

Halloween is okay but thanks giving, who are you kidding;

The potato salad, pumpkin pie;

And grandmas famous, honey cooked turkey, you gotta give that a try;

So much love in the room for that one precious moment;

The one time you tell god thank you for being chosen;

Finally,… the end of the day comes, everything’s so quiet now;

You get yourself together for another day and another mile!

 

 

Winter now comes,… December is to fear;

Because now you have to prepare for the beginning of a new year;

Christmas time, it’s just you and the family;

Excited to unwrap the presents beneath the tree;

Daughter so excited for the new easy bake oven;

Sons wana play with the new baseball and mitten;

Your husbands present to you was that little puppy you’ve always wanted;

Now he has a family to and a house to be welcomed in;

Now you’re present to you’re husband doesn’t really matter;

Because all he really wanted was his lover, family and the joyful experience of true laughter;

Winters all over, now get ready for the spring;

To see angels dance and the birds begin to sing;

 

 

 

Spring,… here it comes, mid year has begun;

Time for easter and the bright and shininess if the sun;

Yeah for everyone because the winters all over;

No more days getting colder and colder;

Easter comes, little kids so excited;

Wondering where the eggs are, where did mom hide it;

Jelly beans, kool-aid streams;

It’s all of what you imagined, all of what you dreamed;

The whole family reunited back together again;

Someone getting proposed to, another wedding begins;

Close your eyes or at least make them dimmer;

Open them back, watch the sparkles and glitter;

Smiles on their faces because you did it again;

Now lay me down to sleep as the spring surely ends!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cant get on my level

 

 

My lyrics to you is so ill,… by just standing here,…I’m making you sick;

You cant mess with the flame; I’ll light fire to that ass, then toss ya ass some gasoline bitch;

This kush got me so high right now,.. its making you delusional;

Making you think you higher than ah jet plane, but in reality; you losing fuel;

I don’t fell my darlin, every year, I get better;

Day by day; stay on the grind, cropping mad cheddar;

Money ain’t never been ah issue; I wipe my ass with rolls of money like tissue;

That’s why I stay on this mic with mad confi; straight dissing you;

-n- then I got this precious wana be; on my dick talking shit;

But in about 2minutes,… imah empty my clip;

Kaboom,… shit! Get away! That’s what they yelling; that’s what they say;

Diamonds In the building, she must be hurting, cause she don’t play;

I grew up on the stomp you out, never think twice and then pop, type shit;

Kiss ya granny at ya funeral, then spit in ya face after she get done sucking me and my crews dick;

Matter fact; I’ll let you die slowly; leave you in so much pain, you gone think you in labor;

Immaculate conception bitch, I just did you a favor; to show ya man you wasn’t fucking the neighbors;

Skeet, skeet; as I splurge oil in ya face;

Listen baby turtle; this is a fuckin rabbit race;

I make sense; I don’t keep pennies;

60 years from now,.. I’m still gone be your enemy;

I’m winning awards for my poetry, you still stuck in the hood;

Wishing you was me, like the engine that could;

I tell real life stories; shit that I’ve been through, not shit that’s boring;

Ya life so tired; it’ll leave niggas snoring;

I seen you at home; sitting all alone;

Getting mad sauced off them bottles of patrone’.

You hate me right now with ah muthafuckin vengeance;

Well now I own a farm; so I’ll let you work with the chickens;

Beat after beat, street after street;

I lived my life one; no place to live with nothing to eat;

That’s how I know a real thug when I see one;

If I payed you a million dollars you wouldn’t bust a nut;

So go ahead with all that wana be hard shit;

And save that shit for the niggas with the big dicks!

 

Fuck outta here

You bird ass bitch!

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comatose

 

 

My love for you,… so strong;

It feels so right but yet so wrong;

Why?... did cupid pick me to hit with his arrow;

When your love return to me aint even a zero;

Look at me all lost, standing out here robe and rollers;

Looking for yo cheating behind with 2kids and a stroller;

Im so tired and I wana give up;

But I know if I do,… you wont give a fuck;

So I walk back in my house;

So tired of playing this 6year old ratchet ness game of cat and mouse;

2nights later here you come all drunk;

Smelling like mixtures of punani and ah skunk;

You climb in my bed after a nice hot shower;

Then here we go again cause I be stupid and cower;

I’m sorry baby he says to me, I didn’t mean to leave you;

I’ll never do it again, please forgive me, I need you;

-n- me so crazy, I say okay;

Please don’t hurt me no more and into me he lays;

To repeat this cycle, I must be Michael;

Bad miss tika,… nope try again,… today I’m recycled!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark tower

 

 

 

Alone in my bed, nobody to blame but me;

Lust, sex, called passion in my head, that’s all we;

I trusted you to stay and you lied;

When you didn’t come back I died;

In this place of darkness, not wanting to see light;

Don’t want to anything, not even fight;

 

 

Just wanting so bad to drown in this pool of sorrows;

Sadness on board cause I’ll still feel the same tomorrow;

I want to hate you so bad for causing me so much pain;

My life is so crazy,… this shit is so lame;

I’m trying so hard; I need your healing;

I cant help myself from these so rare feelings;

I’m writing you letter after letter, facebooking you daily;

This aint right, so deep, how did you get me;

 

 

Every girl on ya page doesn’t match the face of me;

My spiritual meakness, my mind, my mentality, and this is my reality;

I try to stand tall, act nonchalant, every time I walk outside;

But everything you stole from me, my life and my pride;

I’ve cried so many times, so many nights, asking god why did I have to fall in love with you;

Why does this have to be my view;

 

 

I trust no one because of you but that’s my fault;

Why cant I gather up the courage to stop begging you and walk;

Because I’m in love,… I say,… no excuses but I’m afraid;

To let you go,… no I’d rather get played;

I let you in now my mind control is like an oozy;

But the minute you touch me,… my minds on cruise me;

 

 

You did me dirt so many times;

But yet I still continue to let you spit those lines

Knowing that your heart for me is like solid as a gold mine;

You’re so freaking cold; how could you treat me like this;

Leave me with nothing but thoughts to reminisce;

This shit I say to myself every time I let you enter;

Praying that one day my soul to you will be as cold as winter!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day dreamin

 

 

Mr. will smith,… holla, holla, holla;

I remember those days of watching you on fresh prince;

Be bopping, hip hopping, all around;

Banging that drum while Ashley smiled;

Uncle phil saying,… willll;

And you always getting grilled;

Jazz getting the 3rd degree;

And the very best episode with B.B.D;

Your all grown up now;

And the way people change,… wow;

Those muscles in my poster make me scream woman down;

If I ever got the chance;… boy,… you don’t know what I’d do to you;

Or where I’d start first and with that I say true to you;

Day dreams of the light skinned brother with the curls;

Boy please,… never mind,… I’d probably rock yo world!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dirty bitches

 

 

Shit is so crazy, bitches be buggin word up;

this chick hit me on my facebook; talking bout she gone knuckle up;

she aint about that life; she aint even his wife;

3 kids by his ass; but he still eating my pussy right;

I laughed at that stupid hoe; glad Nickie made that song;

never liked the bitch nickie; but some of her lyrics is mad hard;

They hit the spot like mamas fried chicken

But this bitch a rooster; who the fuck she think she kidding;

Cock a doodle doo; No any dick u’ll do;

why don’t go you tell snoop, while he was in jail, about how many niggas you screwed;

 

from 04, till now;

many men like 50, got your pussy screaming wow;

buck, buck, bitch; what you wana do now;

I keep guns on call the size ah lil bow wow;

I was raised around pure niggas;

So let me just say; means we stay pulling triggas;

I had you on my dick so long; Poet sno, said you caught rug burn;

I told you; keep touching the stove, you bound ta get burned;

My shit is straight ill; I give you life with no appeal;

Fuck ya man in ya face; with no condom, straight bill;

I’ll make more water pour from ya face than rain;

Marry ya man for a day, just ta put ya ass ta shame;

You claim he talking all that shit you saying to me;

That everything he said was just game on me;

Said word ta the gods, like true ta life, I really don’t care,

cause I aint in love with that nigga; All truth spoken; no dares;

I hit ya ass with the dipset’s; oh boy;

But ya still round Hartford, like kids, making noise;

So imah shut yo ass up; like put my pussy in ya mouth;

Show you why ya man love the kid with no doubt;

Cause I was his ride or die, held that nigga hand when he cried;

Talked about dreams that he had, that he wanted to try;

He only stay around cause he loves his kids;

But if you freely gave them up; lets see if john would rock that bid;

He said he wouldn’t even be caught dead in a shelter, he would rather take the bid;

So seriously; what the fuck you gone do when shit hit the fan;

When you fall; like you crawl;

Beg that nigga; dick ta jaw?

I told you I’d come at you raw; so keep on, I’ll do you like paul wall;

And you’ll be deffy; raping the law!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dirty bitches part 2

 

 

Welcome to part two bitches, you thought I was finished;

Pay attention little bitches, cause you really wasn’t listening;

This poem is called dirty bitches;

And on some real live shit, keith sweat; you got me twisted;

I grew up hard; im my own body guard;

Schizophrenic bitch on this mic, but today imah star;

I told you bitches, im the flyest bitch walking;

I got all yall men in line, waiting to be jaw this;

I also told yall bitches, imah ten, I don’t need make up;

so fuckin righteous that he bought me zales and the Jacob;

shit yall don’t even got; he cop yall bubble gum rings;

I stay rocking mink coats and the latest designer things;

im pushing his freshly bought 2014 whip;

Or maybe you bought it; which deffy means im the shit;

Lights, camera, action, I stand taller than majic;

Roll the dice twice and what you get is Aladdin the dragon;

I breath fire; so this shit im spitting aint cool;

We will never be friends, that’s why im coming at you rude;

I lived no lies; so I don’t even try;

To be somebody else; I kill bitches why they alive;

I don’t pistol whip niggas, I pussy whip triggas;

Bust in that nigga mouth; and leave em’ on figure;

Dimes come a dozen, so I figure im in the hundeds;

Got ya grandpa paging me; talking bout my wife aint home, run it;

I laugh at you hoes; cause im at the top see;

Got ya mind so delusional, when ya not high, ya still seeing me;

It was kinda funny; see yesterday, they labeled me the playboy bunny;

But ya nigga had flicks in his head when he was busting bee;

I smoke this L; like I smoked this mic;

Im knocking hoes down like yall tina and im ike;

And yeah; I bet you got ya friends; like when she come ta ct. we need to kick her ass;

But in they mind, they like damn this bitch is smash;

They got my records in they house right now;

And I just killed yo ass and fed my dogs they chow;

So bitch kapow; you fell out loud;

Sent you some paper, 2 checks, im out!

 

Unlimited bitch, im the infamous!

 

Tiqauna Williams

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dreams

 

 

 

Candles burn like a forest fire;

Higher and higher,… but it soothes the desire;

Of ecstasy throbbing through my body;

Those thoughts in my mind,… just to be so naughty;

I wana break so bad and make love this man;

This six foot one brother with the black head band;

He makes my body weaker with every touch;

My soul screaming,… have him,… just a little,… you must;

So I go for it,… then realize,… dang it,… I did it again;

I let my mind trick me and again let you win!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fade away

 

 

 

Intrusions making me sick;

Tales from the bureau ten feet thick;

Dice beside me, as I ride three;

Deuces up,.. asking will I survive me;

Crucify me, 2 for riley;

Who died at 26 with the label please try me;

Expensive my jigga; as the bottles got bigger;

You had diggas plotting when to pull that trigga;

Me and you was all we got;

Now im super sauced, sitting here at your plot;

Your stone marks my love for you;

My minds on go mode but I’ll never forget you;

My ace boom coon; always kept me silenced;

You smelled trouble lurking around me you would always find it;

I’ll never deny it; you stayed true to the game;

That you had to pass,.. is really such a shame;

2 deep and passionate friends, now one lost soul;

Till the day we meet again,.. my heart is on hold;

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fast life

 

 

 

Dancing shapes in the distance of night;

Terror, screams of horror, people backing down with fright;

Spaces in my head; evil thoughts to fill them up;

So now when people challenge me;… my reaction speaks a nut;

Uttering my life,.. in miles that don’t matter;

Shut up,… these voices in my head,.. so much chit chatter;

I street hustle; I green muscle; shots ringing in my ear;

And still,… through this division,.. I have no fear;

I pop back;… 2 men down;

Screams of all ages,… fill the crowd;

I try to hide,.. faces,.. haunting me in my sleep;

But never, will I ever,.. go running to the creeps;

D’ boing niggas cause I have no choice;

At times I use my body because I have no voice;

Dived right in, hands first, although I couldn’t swim;

Cuffed what I could, even shit that wasn’t in;

Speeding through theses streets in an unmarked car;

Knowing that,.. if im caught,.. I’ll be monica,.. so gone;

But where im at, at this point,.. is so strong on me;

I need this life; like people need I.D’s;

Me,… give this up,.. maybe in the future;

But for right now im gone keep rollin,.. cause I deffy aint losing;

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

Feeling it

 

 

 

To trust thee not;

Thee not will I lust;

This I love I knew,… so magical;

Mistaken sometimes for radical;

Empty notes left beyond lines;

No more happiness have yet mine;

How could you throw away something once so perfect;

A wonder beyond thunders,… was it all worth it;

I wonder some ways along will you some day be a father and fight for our babies;

Or forever will you remain shady;

Can you just stop the nonsense for one minute and be so unselfish;

Give us a chance to re-health it;

You told me way back,… when we were laid in my bed;

That some day you and I would go ahead;

 

I hold on to that little piece of hope reminiscing on memories;

Praying that you would change your ways and stop making me your enemy;

So many struggles, in the distance troubles;

Dreamed about you last night and all you felt was humble;

So much hurt and pain when I see you with someone else;

I try to gather up the courage to ask why? But will it help;

It’s so crazy because I wanted so bad for you to stop making lust to me;

Knowing that it wasn’t near an inch good for me;

But I couldn’t; you had me addicted like that drug called heroin;

I wonder sometimes, could I stop loving, feigning and begging for you if I take that trip to marylin;

But I know deep down inside,… I wont;

That’s why you’re the comedian and im the big joke!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

Free

 

 

 

Free of love;

Free of life;

Free to be free;

Free to pay no price;

 

 

A beautiful woman with a kind heart;

Wanting no clothes, no shoes;

Just to stand both feet apart;

And watch the powdered pillowed clouds go by;

 

 

No sadness; just smiles;

No feeling alone; just that you’re in another zone;

This is how we were born right;

This is mother nature so take flight;

 

 

Who am I?.... you’ll never ask that question again;

Just close your eyes, breath, spread your arms and count to ten;

Again,… and again,… just meditate on yourself;

On your beautiful body that doesn’t need help;

 

 

Now open your eyes for the last time;

And tell me what you see;

I see a beautiful you and you see a beautiful me!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gangsta love

 

 

 

Different places we are;

Me and you,.. my shining star;

My gangsta love, I’m so in love;

Hands to the sky to thank the heavens above;

You are god’s gift to me;

So in reality, no b’s, I think we should just let it be;

I crave you like earth craves water;

Another day down, another year shorter;

You bring me joy, im so alive;

2hearts up like bonnie and clyde;

Erase my past cause you are my future;

Gangsta come inside me, push out all the losers!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gone

 

 

Minutes pass,… I love you so much;

Define love,… I wana feel your touch;

As I pace these floors,… with you on my mind;

My tears,… I try not to hide;

Thoughts of our pass,… make me smile;

Bring me peace,… like a newborn child;

My head in the clouds,… every time we were together;

Melt like ice when only you give me pleasure;

 

I love the way you only did things to keep me happy;

And how you let me cry on your shoulder when I talked of my past vee;

I love how even though I got on your nerves,… you still stuck around;

And how even though I wasn’t your wife you still let me rock that crown;

 

I wish you could feel the same way;

And I didn’t have to put these memories astray;

I don’t know where we ended or if we really ever begin;

All I do know is I hope that one day we can remain friends;

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hot sex

 

 

 

Slick ummmm,… hot, deep, strokes;

Love making with mandingo;

Everything’s a blur,.. I only feel him;

Im nodding out slowly,.. as the lights turn to dem;

Cascades all around,… got me screaming women down;

Damn big daddy,… of you,.. im surely proud;

For giving me mad pleasure,… with none asked in return;

And that I will treasure till the day you return;

You never give me problems,.. for that,.. I am truly blessed

And when I want time to myself; you deffy let me rest;

And what’s even better,.. is because,.. you aint never hard to please;

All you need is a pack of double a batteries!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Im yours

 

 

Dear me to love you,… a million times three I felt that way;

I’ve made mistakes but never will I stray;

You give me peace of mind;

Lines so alive and the power to defeat anyone who tries;

If I pass now know that I love you and always will;

Ain’t nobody in this world like you that never lies and keeps shit so real;

My heart beats a thousand miles when I hear your name;

You was the man that never maid me afraid;

Or so to speak; my body so weak;

I cry sometimes so I guess my soul leaks;

No more hiding; no more lying;

Whatever you want,… I will never deny it;

You scared me for a minute because I thought I lost you;

But you came back the same person and I aint even have a clue;

I laid in my bed all night thinking about your words to me that I never heard you say before;

It made me feel like breaking out and coming and knocking on your door;

I always told myself that you would always be number one;

And for you I stuck to my words because I could never see me with no other man falling in love;

Tears on my pillow of rejoicing cause finally god answered my prayers;

You was kinda shady with what I had to deal with but who cares;

I miss you everyday that goes by;

And I’d be lying if I said other wise;

You made me feel better as always;

So now they don’t have to deal with the craziness and rage;

I ask you though; to never be silent again;

Even if for life,… we become just friends!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

Insane in the brain

 

 

 

Those written notes,.. speak through tunes so toned;

Pain like broken glass; piercing through my soul;

They may win, but I have sinned;

I have been beaten so brutal, raped so futile;

Repeatedly,… but never told a soul;

It feels like it’s only my business to own;

So many times,… I couldn’t walk away;

He never asked me to stay,… but I did;

He doesn’t love me anymore,… we have no kids;

Where am I, who am I;

I wont scream or yell,.. I cry;

This phenomenal woman,… so lost;

I have seizures after my abuse from ike;

But it’s almost like I enjoy those strikes;

Like they bring me deep comfort;

You brought your homies and ten women into my house last night ;

But I wasn’t sad;

I enjoyed watching her moan your name, releasing her sweet scent and juices on you;

Cat dollia says,.. does that make me crazy;

I had thoughts to join in, like taste her love box;

But I didn’t know what your reaction would be;

Would you hurt me again or would you enjoy it;

Whatever the outcome, I didn’t want to take the chance;

You make lust to me like a looker;

And when your all finished,.. you treat me like a 2$ hooker;

Jhene ieko, says you’re the worst you know;

But to love you,.. is the best, I know;

I just wana be happy cause I believe in love;

Love with out a limit; pumps in my chest, thump so hard, you feel it;

Im the realist, that’s why I want you to love me;

Lust is fine,.. but I , crave you like money;

Align me with your spirit, embrace me with your touch;

I wana go back to the old us;

How we use to not care where we fucked;

Memories of you, eating my pussy in the staircase of someone else’s building;

Me moaning and groaning, while you were stroking and they were sleeping;

So dangerous we were, are you listening;

Please! I need the old you, baby my soul your killing!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It hurts

 

 

Pains to ah tee;

How could it bee;

The man I nursed back to health;…

Is now hurting me;

 

Help me somebody please;

Im suffocating; I cant breath;

Beat me so bad; then had sex;

With a beautiful women in my bed; while I was home;

Sitting in the chair watching feeling stupid and alone;

 

I wanted to cry but I knew he would get mad;

So I played it off, smiled, pretended to be glad;

C’ mere he said, get me hard;

So bad I wanted to let down his guard;

But I did it,… al the while in my mind saying grace;

The ordasity he had to touch my face;

 

Daddy taste good baby? Yes! I said;

Then he tells me,… take ya clothes off; lay on the bed;

Spread ya legs; he says; so she can taste what’s mine;

I was praying that he wouldn’t make us pull a 69;

 

I moaned so soft; it felt so good;

I wonder if this woman is from my head;

That’s enough he says; get up; you into it to much;

Yet again I moved so quick waiting for his punch;

 

But instead it didn’t come; to her he made love;

He used no protection; not even a rubber glove;

Her moans,… I can still hear screaming daddy I love you;

I love you too shorty, this is mine and to me you betta stay true;

 

At that a tear fell, how could he be so cruel;

After everything we’ve been through, to him I always stayed true;

5years of hell; life with no bail;

And I could I couldn’t even muster up the courage to tell;

 

2012,… while sitting in prison;

I found out some real live shit that was crimson;

Not only was she pregnant and that was his baby;

I found out he made her his main, top lady;

 

This story goes back to 2010;

This door is now shut and he will never enter again!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Call me a giant

 

 

Knives cut my heart so deep;

For my moms,.. the way I weep;

It’s so sad to see the one who birthed you;

Be the one that’s feeling due;

I try so hard to show her another path;

But no longer does that last;

She doesn’t know who she is any more;

So she lye’s on that cold, hard, wood built floor;

How do you speak without speaking; Believe without believing;

You cant, it’s totally impossible, but still we believe it;

The passion of Christ; resembles my life;

Been hurt so much; but still I strive;

I wonder when im gone be that one to tell my story;

When im gona come up out the dumps; to pain and glory;

I tell myself,.. I stand tall because I made it;

I stand tall cause im the bravest;

I walked these streets alone; everything I speak is real;

I died inside; 23 years ago signing life’s deal;

I was raped, molested, beaten and scorned;

My heart turned so cold, at times,… I wished I was never born;

I use to hate my moms so bad; I blamed her for my pain;

We argued one time so much and I called her insane in the brain;

But I fell back; cause I had to find out for myself;

what it felt like to be a young mother and I deffy felt;

8 years to 20,… I had 4 kids;

One of them I had while rocking a 3 bid;

I live in pain as the days go by;

All I wana keep asking is,.. why god why;

Why did they take my kids? Why do I still try;

Why do you still continue to let me live; why do you still provide;

I tried on 3 occasions to take my own life;

Once,… I even tried using a butchers knife;

I laid down with so many men; I feel so dumb;

Added drugs to the mix; so I can make myself numb;

20% of the time,.. I opened my legs;

The other 80,.. I busted niggas down with pure head;

I remember getting done,.. and feeling like shit;

Sore’s in my mouth,.. so bad,.. they split;

It wasn’t about the money I guess;

It was about the fact that I just wanted to rid the stress;

I slept with peoples husbands and wives;

Cousins, crews, brothers, sisters,… oh my gosh,.. so hard,.. I tried;

I wanted it to work so bad;

And now I feel so used, like no one wants me, its sad;

But my ego is so high,.. that when people call me out;

I still push the shit on open mouth;

It’s so sad,… because I fear no one;

I even told someone to grow balls and bust a gun;

I’ve been holding on for so long,.. and not a hand full of results;

Im tired of dealing with the cards I was dealt;

I need a new deck; I need some respect;

Im so confused right now,.. I don’t even know what box to check;

I groove to melodies that not even playing;

Just give me a real,.. I love you, im just saying;

I try to be the pretty me I am;

But I feel so ugly most times; I wish I was Roxanne;

So I name myself that in secret;

Im in so much shame and I don’t want to keep it;

But it’s here and im here;

So I guess; it’s near;

I ran out of time, but never out of rhymes;

So next time you hear from me,.. this aint gone sound like no replay on offy lines!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

Ladybug

 

 

Ladybug moves so silently through the trees;

Leaves waving in the cool breeze;

Shhh,… don’t scare her away;

Let her stay;

Her beauty,… so unique, willing to take a chance;

Go somewhere, everywhere, do anything;

Without a soul watching;

So many stare her way in aw;

At her colors,… red and black;

The most powerful colors in the universe;

Symbols of love –n- hate

Light and darkness; hearts and circles;

So small;… but yet so strong;

Able to endure life and create the same;

Even when rain pours;… you may stumble;

You may even slide; but always; will you get back up;

So sweet you are; look at you; walking all over my hand;

Probably smiling your little heart out;

Question is?.... could I ever be that way!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Letters to john

 

Love is such a strong word;

So I guess it crazy that I even acknowledge it towards you;

Pain flows through my soul like dope in my veins;

I could say my heart throbs when my thoughts arrive at you;

But that would be a down grade;

So much anger,.. but not towards you;

Towards myself for not having a clue;

Patterns on this game of chest;

Back and fourth,.. but I was the loser right;

Sarcastic remedies,.. as though,.. I thought I would die without you;

Speak,… no,… shhh,… silence baby;

Instruments,.. I played the dummy;

Congratulations,… you say;

Hens in a coop; how low would I stoop; just to have you;

Boy please! I say;

But this pencil,.. im writing you,.. it’s like a disease;

Please,… I beg you,.. don’t leave me alone;

How will I move on;

Baby,.. I cant stand,… this thought of losing you;

To another women;… your wife;

Wait,.. I thought,.. that was me;

Oh,.. man,.. that just aint right;

How far,… how long,.. why didn’t I know;

I cant understand,.. don’t lie;

John,…please,… don’t say good bye!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

20357_104755762882076_6684095_n

Lies of pain

 

 

 

 

I told myself that I would never fall in love;

And for 8years I held that feeling and those words like a surgeons glove;

At sixteen I found that, that would soon become a lie;

Because this thing I wished not to know,… stole all my pride;

There I go chasing him still after 7years;

23 years old now but im still crying seven billion tears;

 

 

Pain so deep in my soul because I try to show this man how much I love him;

But all he can see, it seems like, is nothing;

On the phone, I read him a poem from my heart;

And all he could say was aw like it was tart;

Lead me to peace uninterrupted;

My soul leaks,… pain,… heartache;

 

 

I want so bad to cry;… but why;

Cant I,… need you that needs me;

To believe,… humph;

To draw those curtains back and be at ease;

I gave you so much power; Now I feel as though I’m crumbling, leaving my expressions sour;

Those rainbows have seven colors,… I wonder what they stand for;

Im so tired of pretending,… living in denial,… tooth pains so bad,… I’ve bitten to the core;

 

 

Rewind my soul,… fast forward this pain;

Shred these thoughts,… they’re driving me insane;

I believed in thy higher because I thought you had changed;

But again these tears pour like hot summer rain;

I met you halfway;… but you only came ten percent;

The other 40 leaves me wondering where it went;

 

 

I woke up last night to your scent on my pillow but you weren’t there;

Tell me,… am I delusional or are you still here;

I fought against my ego to let you back in;

But in this game of tag,… you always seem to win;

Shade speaks,… it’s so evil,… so crucial;

I wish I had it cause right now it would surely be useful;

You play with my heart like a player on his drum;

All though it gets old my heart still ra, ra, pa, pa, pums;

I know I don’t deserve this shit but yet im still here;

And the sad part about it is,… yes,… im still here;

 

 

To care about myself,… obviously not,… I definantly need help;

Cause truth is,… I need to be admitted to mental health;

Cause only an insane person would do the things I do;

Pretending like the pass is over and it’s all new;

I sit in my shit, staring out this window, like a kid for santa clause;

And every time you don’t show up,… again I feel lost;

I guess though,… I can say,… that im still your slave;

Never opening these curtains and continuing to feel shade!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cbc

 

 

Life

 

 

A tribute to the less fortunate;
Sun out those of ordinance;
Those holding bowls in the street;
Begging for change just to eat;
Those who fell down off there pedal stool;
Shame on them but that doesn’t mean be cruel;
All this disaster in the world;
But somewhere between it,… is born a precious baby girl;
A soul, a spirit, a child of god;
A frog in and ocean, a rock in a pond;
She grows and grows, she experiences pain;
Another fire intended, another strike she gains;
she gets high to ease the struggles;
to fall asleep through the abuse of her old mans muscles;
why cant you just learn he screams at her;
im trying baby please,… just give me one more turn;
and all the while,… she carries this little tiny person;
wondering is he okay or is he hurting

 

 

6months later,… a prince is born;
From the same little girl who experienced those thorns;
His father capped 2times in the head;
His mother dies from giving birth to him in the hospital bed;
No family, no friends, raised all alone;
In dcf’s care now in a group home;
16 years old, he runs away;
And finds whole shelter with some thugs and a gang;
The older he gets, the more he learns;
That this just ain’t right, this just aint life;
I need to find home and a woman to wife;

 

 

3months later, his dream comes alive;
Through a woman named lanisha who was willing to ride or die;
They cherished each other, king for queen;
So thus then began the plantation of his seed;
5months later,… she would come to regret it;
He was now the abuser, now tell me don’t t you get it;
No! well listen,… to the last part of this story;
And tell me if you think your life is so boring;
8months later,… he dies of stab wounds;
From lanisha of abuse then she pulls the trigga,… boom;
4months later, all alone in this room;
Another little princess and so life resumes!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

love

 

 

 

 

Your love;… so strong, so deep;

Tears of pure happiness; you make my eyes weep;

Define this way I feel;

Anxiety when you are by my side; that’s how I know it’s real;

Roses on my floor, flowers in my bed;

Wedding bells ringing, so soon, we wed;

Lead me to this valley of peace;

No more thugs in my life, no more wana be creeps;

My mouth says hold me, but my actions say mold me;

Oh wait,.. you already did,.. into this beautiful women that is so unique;

Lets build this bridge together . to last through stormy weather;

Keep are bond thick as real belt leather;

Lets ride this rode till the end;

Like that old school song from boyz to men;

Be my friend, my husband, my lover, my brother;

And never let your mind be influenced by another;

To walk away, or leave me stray;

Just give me you, all of you, on this beautiful summer day!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

Aka

Diamond princess

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

love me

 

 

Love me baby; caress my body;

Take all of me in and get real naughty;

Use ya tongue like a speeding gun;

Don’t stop popping till I cum;

Take ya man hood and go real deep;

Till my toes start to curl on the bottom of my feet;

Suck on my neck like a nice juicy pear;

Then end with a kiss that will make me tear;

Tell me how bad you want me to rock yo world;

Tell me that im yo number one girl;

Swerve,… glide,… in and out, don’t make me pout;

Like a holy Sunday morning, make me scream and shout;

Love my body; don’t ever let it go;

And for you I will do the same,… never let you go!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love me, lust me

 

 

 

 

Love,… so strong,… you can hold up a heart;

Lust,… from good sex is where it all starts;

Love,… leads me down a road going sideways;

Lust,… just means we only going my way;

Love,… is the entrance to another world;

Lust,… keeps me going on big daddy with the curls;

Love,… shatters you to pieces if he disses you;

Lust,… makes you hide out when the sex is through;

 

Love,… vacations to the islands, holding hands, while walking in the sand;

Lust,… deuces up, not giving a fuck, he aint yo man;

Love,… breaths those champagne glasses, kisses run together like knights;

Lust,… don’t take nuttin from my fridge, go home to your wife;

Love,… pick me up, spin me around, puppy love, it’s brand new;

Lust,… girl I just put him out, sitting round here like he aint got ish to do;

Love,… hold me close, tell me everything’s below me;

And promise, promise, promise, that you’ll never leave me lonely;

 

Lust is,… dang man im pregnant again?.... time for child support;

Love is,… everyday support and letting life take it’s course;

 

 

Now you understand the meaning of what love and love is;

Love brings yo man home every night and lust brings a welfare check every month and some be’ be’s kids!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

Memories

 

 

 

Memories oh memories,… please don’t come back;

You’re back in the days like a used Cadillac;

Im trying and trying,… just to forget;

About the pain, so much, it’s making me sick;

As I rock back and fourth in this old rocking chair;

Im going much faster with each shedding tear;

I lost my trust, my life, then my children;

But who really cares, im just one in a million;

 

I do,… I hear a voice say to me;

Now I wonder, yes I wonder, who could that be;

It is god, my dear child, and I need all your worries;

Put them in my hands and hurry, quick, hurry;

Now cheers to you and this is my gift;

A gift just for you, you’ll like it it’s this;

 

I now have your burdens and you have my promise;

That if you just be patient I will give you what is promised;

So hold your head high and wear this whole smile;

And remember that I am your father and you are my child!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My best Christmas

 

 

 

Christmas lights; bells ringing below;

The best one I remember is the one with mama bear and big bro;

Making snow angels in the backyard;

While mama bear watched from afar;

Tears in her eyes; I love you guys;

Your what keeps me here,… now surprise;

Open these gifts; they’re not much but all I could get;

That doesn’t matter mom we love you ten feet thick;

She hugs us extra tight; then says alright;

Im making cake; now which one of you is gona come add the spice;

Meeee,… I say; because I want to lick the bowl;

Im coming to! Big bro says;… thee bowl I will hold;

That is my best Christmas and forever I will remember;

Till the day I grow old and there’s no more Decembers!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

My story

 

 

 

After I’ve told my story:

I’ll be the strongest woman alive;

I’ll always hold my head high and walk with pride;

 

After I’ve told my story:

My children will be home;

And once again by gods grace I will never be alone;

 

After I’ve told my story:

I will never hurt again over a man;

And as soon as he crosses my path;

Those love him, lust him thoughts, will quickly pass;

 

After I’ve told my story:

I will be that famous actor, author, poet, musician and rapper;

I will experience that joyus feeling of laughter;

 

After I’ve told my story:

I shall malish in all my glory;

I shall never put anything or anyone else before me;

 

And this will all happen;

I’ve told my whole story!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never lasting Love

 

 

Never lasting love, im speeding down this highway;

In turns off exits of you only doing it my way;

I can’t account for how much I love you;

-n- how much I still cream off thoughts of still fucking you;

I sucked ya dick last night, when we had that fight;

Although it wasn’t my fault, I still tried to make shit right;

I tried to love another nigga, but my minds on trigga;

So when I pass that checker, kaboom, can’t you figure;

I was a slut for yo ass, see, I fucked you so good;

Or so you say! But who them bitches from the hood;

Sucking dick, eating pussy;

Whatever I could do, just ta keep it true vee;

I was yo ride or die bitch, aint no other bitch like me;

But yet you would go and make somebody else your wifey;

I’d bust guns, if you say so; take a nigga out like mano;

How the hell, in all of Montgomery, did you get me like this yo;

I blaze L’s 24 hours a day, im so high but you wont even look my way;

Im going crazy, this shit is ay’ley;

Turning niggas down left and right cause you was so amazing;

I fucked your cousin yeah; I fucked the crew but so what;

Listen little nigga! That was way before you trust;

 

Mad at me, but its okay for you to do the same thing;

While we were together; then say bay; it aint ah thing;

One day you’re my man, next day your not ;

One minute shit live; next minute your minds tryna plot;

You killed my soul, so im killing these poems;

Sitting on my bed sauced from ten bottles of patron;

On ice, I lay it down so nice;

Medically cleared, but here’s some words of advice;

I don’t pose threats, I make promises;

6 years I gave yo ass of straight honestness;

 

I love you, I need you, I live you, I breath you;

But just for one second can we make this shit equal;

I gave you life,…. without me, you aint shit;

If I wanted to, right now, I could have niggas mark you ah ditch;

You know, like 7 feet deep, like rock ya ass to sleep;

But that would be to easy, like counting 12 sheep;

I not only gave you my soul; I gave you my mind, my heart and my body;

Gave you every lick, suck and position, when you wanted to get naughty;

So tell me please vee,…what was the point in you eating my punani;

Just to show you was the man, that you could tame me, like get my head all fucked up;

Laugh with ya niggas about it, then throw the deuces up;

 

Well guess what? Ya niggas said leave em’ alone;

He aint shit; let me take you home;

They told me what you was about, but I aint wana listen;

Told me you was at the club every week going fishing;

But I was the dummy, so low you brung me;

To the point of no return, I guess you hung me!

 

But I aint die; I came back with a vengeance;

Hit 3 records back to back, is you listening;

2 books, 5 cd’s;

1 record deal, now im screaming nigga please;

I begged you everyday, you let me get away;

Eye’s blood shot red, body so dirty, like I was rolling in hey;…you;

Right there you;

Looking at me crazy, cause you aint have a clue;

Who I was;… cause I never spoke;

Now im the comedian and you’re the big joke;..ha..ha;

 

I wrote, and wrote, and wrote, and wrote;

Song after song; like note after note;

I felt you like ya touch, you cracked me like a dutch;

Opened me up and seen nothing much;

So you took what you needed and left the rest;

My pussy, my ass, my breast and nothing less;

You’se a beast from the east and im a beauty from the streets;

You named it gangsta love; I named it defeat;

But if I creep; then im weak; so I’ll say that im deep;

But if you ever come running; im done and you beat!

 

 

Tiquana c. Williams

 

 

Night terrors

 

 

 

 

Night terrors as I reflect my life in this mirror;

An addict still a child, a child of an addict;

This 23 year old woman hurting to stay strong;

In a world where I sometimes feel as though I don’t belong;

The beatings the scars, why does life have to be so hard;

Molested at ages, 4, 7 and nine;

Take this tape out and don’t ever press rewind;

If you were never born he said,… then me and your moms would get along;

Why cant you just leave me alone,.. stop hurting my emotions and treated me so wrong;

Emotions, emotions,… they ran so deep;

From the hole in my heart to the cracks in my feet;

That night with a prayer,… I cried my self to sleep;

Thinking this is my last prayer and then I’ll call it defeat;

She finally let him go though as yall should know;

But why should it had to take that much pain from a child to show;

Because she was an addict; an addict of abuse;

And the man that she loved,… was a victim of drug use!

 

Night terrors, as I reflect my life in this mirror;

This tell doesn’t get any clearer so use my life as your mirror;

So many nights of abuse, constant tricking and getting used;

Long days of pain,.. soon became the life of drug use;

Prescript meds,.. but its still a drug;

Popped two by the hour like I was making love;

Scream he said,… and I’ll kill you bitch;

Next thing you know,.. I was on that cold bench;

3men, one night, my birthday to be exact;

Thought it was my fault,… but it was there attack;

They left me in the park, on that bitch just to bleed;

Like I was just some animal,.. boy was that mean;

They took me in and out for what felt like eternity;

and what’s even graver,.. is because I forgive them for hurting me;

how could people be so cruel; so rude, you aint know me or what I’d been through;

all you know,.. is you knew was that you and your crew found something fun to do;

my built self-esteem you took from me;

but im still living right,.. so I’ll let it be!

 

 

Night terrors as I reflect my life in this mirror;

More drugs in the mix;

My heart shatters like ice sticks;

My 2nd child,.. a victim of abuse all because I couldn’t escape mine;

His father,.. literally blew my mind;

Strangulation,.. when I wouldn’t give him sex;

Do something not to his liking,.. that I w3ould regret;

I stopped loving him before our son;

That was when the abuse and rape had just begun;

Afraid to call the cops, so the abuse just wouldn’t stop;

Choked me so bad one time,.. they almost dug a plot;

3months pregnant with my fiance’s child;

The rage in his eyes;… he really went wild;

He laughed,.. so proud of what he had done;

No other man he said,… im number one;

He’d stalk me,.. so I lived in fear everyday;

All you women in abuse,.. please,.. get away;

Hallucinations I had, cause it was that bad;

I used our only child as my personal punching bag;

I hated the thought of even having his seed;

Or even his touch,.. so I made trey bleed;

I miss my baby everyday that goes by;

And it’s sad because I told the court lie after lie;

It wasn’t his fault that mommy wouldn’t walk;

And now im wishing everyday that I could just hold him and talk;

Afraid to be the snitch so I sat in jail;

On a 4 year bid and 150 grand bail;

My beautiful kids, in the system committed;

But by gods grace,.. only 3 I’ll be winning;

I am not aloud trey again though and to live with that is very hard;

But that ,… I’ll except because I should have been his mom and his body guard;

Short live my abuser wherever he may be right now;

But im glad I did time because I developed a different style;

To be and remain the strong, beautiful woman I’ve been all along;

And to start my career with the lyrics of my song;

My life is mine to keep;

And like death’s grave im going in deep;

And as for my trey,.. I hope he decides to find me one day;

So I can right him my wrongs and mother and child we will once again remain!

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Poem : one life

6/ 14/ 2012

 

If I had one life to live,… I would only spend it with you;

I would spend it telling people that you were my boo;

I would reassure you that no one would hurt you;

And unlike the desert I would never desert you;

I’ll let you know that you are my world;

And how much you mean to this precious little girl;

Our lives would be a replay of romeo and Juliet;

And only do things we wont regret;

I’ll change your diapers when your rusty and old;

And still put it down if it’s dusty with mold;

We’ll take one last dance by the ocean water;

And wish on a well to the legacy of our daughter;

I’ll cast out a spell that we shall live forever;

And sean paul it like glue through rain and stormy weather;

So give me this chance to show you what I mean;

And every day I will honor you as you are my king!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Poem : Relentlessness

7/ 06/ 2014

 

 

It’s so funny how when you aint got shit niggas wana play you like an instrumental dummy;

But as soon as they see you on ya a game,… niggas stay blessing you and burying the word honey;

4kids I had by 3 different niggas;

The one I fell in love with cocked back and bust two triggas;

Left me for dead word up;

Now im spitting flows and getting paid he the main one talking bout love;

The other two,… humph; I grew up with my daughters father; my second best friend;

He shitted on me so bad,… that shit’s deffy a sin;

Eric,… forget it; told the court’s I was and unfit mother; like he was ever there for our son;

And he like my fans now is Screaming im number one;

I pop bottles every night to toast to the bullshit;

Ten on my lot but im purchasing a new whip;

Like dip, dip, man fuck these cornball ass niggas cause they a trip

Limp dick bastards couldn’t even hold it past ten;

Seconds that is; I did three out of 4 but they the one’s rocking the bid;

Feeling kinda frewish and not wanting to live;

Im killing they soul right now,… on this stage tossing cash;

While they in that same alley way I used to be in toking on that midget glass;

Light it up,… pass that shit;

2more dutches,… lets smoke this shit;

Mu’ fuckas is crazy, they on that molley bullshit;

But imah rider though; im on that young gotti bullshit;

Im pacing so fast; I wana go ape shit;

Knock a mu’ fucka out,… 2ticka’s on my a list;

My brain’ness, is so aim this;

Shoot at mu’ fucka’s like one pop,… target,… it;

My spirit checked out 2days so my heart is cold;

Im only 23 but im defeated; feeling mad old;

Like if you even breath near me;… I’ll break;

Break like break when I feel movement,… I shake;

Niggas aint know?.... this da undefeated princess;

Scars all over my body but I still cruise relentless;

No entrance, no end to this, I am the end of this;

Aint no bitch betta than the dee; I’ll leave you on shitlessness;

Crazy,… or maybe,…

I’ll fuck ya bitch one time and make her my maybe;

This aint no flow,… my name diamond the poet;

Stay with bitches on my dick so my strap’s on loaded;

I heard em talking; but I told em’ keep it walking;

Cause I’ll get crazy, like blow ya fuckin face off; leave you jawless;

 

 

new style, old school, im fuckin rude, so to you, I say two;
me and you, fly to pie, now what you gona do?

 

battery bitches,… my crews come in packs;

all I do is sneeze and my niggas ready to attack;

I bring it way back;

like silk wife beaters and wave caps;

don’t blame mac, blame acts;

cause we come with straight knowledge;

sinners in this world, everything we do is a problem;

 

 

and these bitches, and these bitches, bring one round me imah get em’;
turn it up, turn it up, Kevin heart, is you listening?

 

 

Chuck up the deuces on these nevalint hoes;

Castrating they bodies, where ta find them, no’ one knows;

Said imah get em’, im alive, see im winning;

I done offed ya top like a fire to the ceiling;

Checking ya man? Bitch please! i.d’s;

Eliminated that shit long ago so bitch suck on these;

Nuts,… in ya mouth;

Bitch you just mad cause you having mad doubts;

How the fuck is you gone bucket where I stay;

And you the one been on my nuts like all fuckin day;

Like sway, sway, sway, sway;

You feeling nuttie; eat a payday;

Im getting shit right and honey im on vacay;

Peanut brittle on this mic, nas they calling me nasty;

 

 

so now,… I save the best for last; put this bitch on ultrablast;
ground that ass;… out,… like the majic, put you in my past;

alright ms. Kim’tri,… you forgetting where you come from;

you calling me ah bumb bitch, but I’ll take you to the genie dump;

I got these niggas by the balls in my hand;

And now imah pull em’ so they screaming im the man;

See ki’ki dropped ya ass but I mopped you up;

Took ah tollie ta ya head while I’s sparking ah dutch;

 

 

im so pretty like, I don’t need no fake up;
old ass cougar; take Viagra get ya game up;

 

 

you stole kim now you stealing ms. Ieko;

pills –n- potions bitch, check her song that’s a free throw;

admit it, you aint the best, you steal lyrics;

switch them shits around, use bigger words and you air it;

go nare it bitch; oh- my- gosh;

I’ll always be the best with 4peas in a pod;

Ah big momma, yes, but im still looking good;

H.C.T; bitch, always repping my hood; you all good playa hater;

Mummify that ass; then I’ll send the ace up;

 

 

-I go hard, I go hard, I go hard, I go harddddd!

-And you know, and you know, and you know, and you knowwww!

 

See my niggas,… im still repping dem hundeds;

Still proud ta say ah bitch run this;

Yeah imah bitch, same mu’fuckin difference;

You aint gotta call hamy; im leaving straight footprints;

I murder these poems like e’ sis please calm down;

You’re through, im either; but im bringing another round;

Imah leave you, straight please you;

Fuck you in the caddy and call it illegal;

But not if you catching feelings;

Drake in this bitch,… one time is the business;

Just tryna see what that pussy like;

Aint tryna play ya, im tryna be like mike;

 

 

n – that’s right, im sprite, acid in ya mouth, im burning ya spice;

 

 

live life is all I do;

money making bitch making paper with the crew;

stay showing my town mad love;

H.C.T; rep nothing above;

 

and so I say, and so I say,…

 

 

I just killed three subjects in one poem;

And still carry the balls to stay home alone;

Go 2sleep, wake up, get some head, get ah nut;

Drive around the city with no tints on my truck;

Little bro, little bro, hit the mic, let em’ know;

Act’s ah knowledge come in packs; you say rewind we bring it back!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Respect

 

 

 

Respect me no more;

You come knocking,.. no answering doors;

Crash,… damn,.. I boosted the speed limit;

Bench pressing till I feel it;

Adrenaline rush,.. life’s a menace;

Not riding,.. but these wheels keep sinning;

Im living my life like the cheff lawn dawn;

Means I got it going on;

So trust,.. niggas gone bow;

And when I really step it up,.. you’ll be screaming man down;

Ace in the hole,.. I’ll remain stone cold;

I’ll continue to write in puzzles till the day I grow old;

Mood sings at the end of this sentence;

The smell of fire burning; it’s lighted pretty inscent’s;

The fall outside from October weather;

Silk dresses and robes on the day I grow cheddar;

Cliché’s in the winter, white diamonds in December;

30 years from now,.. this note,.. will I remember!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rise

 

 

 

At the base of the drum,… boom,… boom;… I rise;

Drawing back the shades,… the sun dances upon my skin;

Caramel so pure, so smooth, time to let my hair down;

Each braid symbols a moment in my life;

Whether bad, good or just misunderstood;

 

I am not the end of my roots there are more to come;

My little princess will bare a child, that will bear a child;

I will become a great grandma telling my story of how I became me;

Of the sometimes sad and beautiful life I had;

All those family re-unions, get togethers, and church gatherings;

And watching those kids play by the pool;

 

Smiling, reminiscing and just having fun;

Reflecting on my new life that began at age 23;

Of me marrying a man,… not because of his looks but because of his books;

Of his mind, his knowledge and his beautiful smile;

That shines brighter than the December Christmas tree;

 

I wana be able to tell them how I became a star and performed my heart out;

And about me they shall never doubt;

I wana be able to teach them the meaning of life;

To value and protect themselves;

And how I learned to not let wealth get in the way of the real me;

 

To be gods given child;

And to not be afraid to go that extra mile;

These are my thoughts that I release on this page;

Down, down I lay, closing back these shades!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Save me

 

 

Chills,… like quivers,...run down my spine;

as he touches every line, mark and bruise he left behind;

I hate him so much but why can’t I leave;

He’s my only source of income and he knows my needs;

I love the way he feels inside of me;

When he arches my back with every stroke while he’s riding me;

The way he goes down town and licks every crease;

I never felt anything so amazing; this man is a beast;

Literally,… im under his spell;

Im so afraid,… but who can I tell;

I know eventually I’ll die from his hit;

But even if I run,… where do I began;

I have nothing,… No one I can trust;

I aint even got a dollar in my pocket for the bus;

Im only sixteen; wishing this was all a dream;

That I could wake up one day and my body would be clean;

I have a scar on my neck from where he cut me three days ago;

He thought I was cheating; imagine me a hoe;

Damn this is shady; I need help; please save me;

Maybe if I pull this trigga;… my life wont seem so hazy!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Say it proud

 

 

 

 

these streets; these people;

who the fuck theses cons;

rolling up on my block like shit on;

offy ass niggas tryna be cool please;

pussy ass nigga I seen you snitching to the dee’s ;

raised up right, snitches get stitches;

try to correct me ya bodies in the ditches;

no fair games in these streets;

youi aint got it you beat;

these my streets; these my corners;

fucking with d.p you ah be a goner;

love westie always rep my hood;

they straight get it in you aint bout it you good;

we stay posted up like nows; alert like owls;

getting right on point; stacking paper for miles;

stay dressed to impress; always be the best;

nuttin less; until the day we lay our heads to our rest!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Poem : sever thunder storms or am I crazy

6/18/2014 1:48:42 PM

 

 

And so I decide to speak; because I am weak;

And this is what I say between my sheets;

Im tired of all the bullshit everyday that’s going on;

Patience is a bitch but life is a whore;

I hear about niggas and bitches being fucked everyday;

Absence,… in due time,… tryna get away;

I lost my mind a long time ago and I don’t wish to find it;

Shit flies right by me at times,… I feel blinded;

How dear self conscious mu’fucka’s,… try and make me suffer cause they cant control they man;

I got problems of my own to deal with, cant they just understand;

To speak the least,.. they don’t appreciate shit;

I apologize,… and in return they trip;

So I grip,… fold back to my bullshit;

And instead of going off the rocker,.. I hold my left hand up and flip;

I dip though, to stay low;

Cause if I feed into them,…

that of my craziness will show;

Pain in my soul deep,… im feelin kinda shaky;

My brains shutting down;… the bullshit has taken me;

Im tired, frustrated, so no longer do I wana fright;

My body so anxious,.. off the rocker, I just wana fight;

Im screaming inside right now;

Had more than my share of blows,… kapow;

Locked up in this place, all I can do is pace;

With no choice but to stare life in the face;

Im so confused, I don’t wana lose;

Neva felt like it before, but I wana use;

Drugs of my choice,… marijuana,… pills;

Mix those two together and my high would be so ill;

Fire blazing, so angry;

Suffering crazy, this shit is ay’ley;

I deared myself to be different; tried to believe, tried to achieve;

But dear lord, im really in need;

Breath,…shhh,… no noise;

These unridiculous thoughts,… race in my head;

Like a nascar,… so many;

Feel me!,… so soft,… my head pounds so hard,.. like hammers knocking;

So anxious,.. yet again,.. still nameless;

Shameless,… the power to be so selfish,… but I cant;

Pain in my bones,… so much,… they feel broken;

I feel,.. like only I’ve been chosen;

My mind speaks before I can say;

My body sometimes to,… before I go stray;

I lye amongst these shadows,… not tender,… just frail;

Sitting here thinking has got me trippin;

I feel closed,… but open, volume and speaka’s songs, music rippin;

In my brain, I seen a hustler on the block counting his paper;

2 minutes later,.. he was robbed and shot over some Jacobs;

Did he live? I have no clue;

So don’t ask me what to do;

I don’t even know who I am anymore;

Glass piercing through my skin,.. like nails on a seashore;

I see more,.. deffy b-more

And if I had a choice,… I would lead neither nore!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Poem : shade speaks

4/ 04/ 2014

 

 

john chasing money allen;

you straight sunned me but you the one riding the wagon;

sending that bitch my mail; for that you straight stale;

its okay though,… cause when you get6 out of jail,… humph;

and what’s even crazier,… is cause that mail wasn’t even about us;

all I ever felt for you ,… was straight lust;

now I aint gone front,… that shit did make me hurt;

but I wasn’t hurt enough to go bizzark;

cause see im betta than that, im betta than you;

you just dissed a good friend and you aint even have a clue;

shade speaks from beyond and up under;

but I’ll still choose to care about you; I’ll never leave you asunder;

I’ll let you choose to feel what you feel; let you pretend yall love is real;

Patience is a virtue; but in time I’ll heal;

I’ll never stop being the good person I’ve been;

I just no mentally or emotionally I’ll never let you in again;

And for you I wish the best of luck;

And may life begin new,… deuces up!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Poem : so blind we are

6/12/2014 7:51:01 PM

 

We speak to only breath what we hear;

Lines in the far away ness; but close enough to be beyond my ears;

Take me away; no,.. bring me back;

Shades of so many opposites attract;

Infinity and beyond;

Those yanders so blond;

Amidst thy skin to which we dwell;

Of those we say we know so well;

Give me all you can;

Then,… speed away fast like quick sand;

Clear the path like drano; Beyond those walls,… there are bricks;

I want to set a fire,.. but only with candle sticks;

No match,.. we never match,…or we never matched;

Waiting behind those trees like a lion waiting to attack;

Tears so deep,.. from the ocean,.. tear ruffles into the line between my eyes;

Spaces so wide,.. between our thighs;

And if you only knew how I felt,… it wouldn’t be alive;

Crash,… thy not, so blind we see;

Just one more chance and maybe we wont be me!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Poem : So cold emotions

2/ 18/ 2014

 

My bones so brittle,… loneliness in my soul;

I feel so cold,… so old;

Ashamed to breath but not to bleed;

Im so emotional I cant even hear some one elses speak;

In knowings,… of the fact that it makes me so weak;

Sometimes I just want to be so selfish;

But my hearts to big and I cant help it;

I care for everyone I know I shouldn’t but I do;

And the way some folks treat me,… you wouldn’t have a clue;

A million questions,… most of them,… what’s and why’s;

While trying to convince myself,… my denials aint lies;

Nobody speaks for it’s self; everybody speaks for someone else;

This life is so crazy sentence me to mental health!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Poem : so I stress

6/25/2014 7:55 AM

So I stress;

For all the hatred and cruelty in the world;

For all the men that batter there wives baby mama’s or girl;

 

I stress;

For all the women who are cheated on everyday;

And because of love,.. they don’t have the courage to just get up and walk away;

 

I stress;

For all the women who only god knows are good mothers and don’t have their children;

Hold your head up and walk tall with yours cause diamond p. knows the feeling;

 

I stress;

For all the women and mothers in jail;

Trying so hard to do the right thing but all you get is hell;

 

I stress;

For all the mothers with no education or degree still striving to take care of their kids;

Working that pole or corner just to make sure they live;

 

I stress;

For all those women who have to be mothers and fathers as well;

Because that same man you made your world,… screwed you and bailed;

 

I stress;

For the baby mama, ex wife, or girlfriend;… because that man you tagged a price;

Made someone else his life;

 

I stress;

For those women and mothers on drugs;

Going through so much that they feel they need that buzz;

 

I stress;

For all the women who were raped molested and abused as children;

And the system, with no second thoughts, have made you their villains;

I stress;

For those women who cant sleep day and night;

Wondering if today they will take their own life;

 

I also stress;

Because this is what I’ve been through;

And I know that one day with my prayer and my faith,.. myself is who I’ll be into!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: Poem : Straight trife

5/23/2014 8:53 PM

trevor's father

 

 

 

 

This shit im bout to spit is a little bit to lethal;

Poems in my head,… so I’ll call this illegal;

You met me at sixteen;

Didn’t even know me and I was yo queen;

I showed you the gangsta bitch I was;

That night you made lust to me without so much as a rubber glove;

 

we made a child and not once were you there;

said if he was yours, of him, you would take mad care;

but you didn’t, you shitted on us;

all because you wanted to play busta bust and then crush;

One night of passion; that I never thought would happen;

But 7 years later,.. my mind still blasting;

 

We met through ya cousin chuck;

On love lane, in a car; guess its just my luck;

remember that night on lenox;

I had you so on go mode, I made you feel it;

Like father, like son;

But like cousin your one;

Crucial mu’fucka, that got my legs open;

Split my pussy wide, like beast it, no joking;

 

I wana hate that I love you, like neyo and rhianna;

But if I check in a rehab, it would make no sense, cause you, I would still devour; like a thirsty alcoholic in the middle of the night;

no! wrong; I phene you like crack and right now im on E and feeling mad tight;

I cruise through these streets with love songs in my head;

Thinking about how you would come by and lay my ass to bed;

 

How you would call or stop by sometimes just to say goodnight;

Even when we had matches like tina and ike;

okay! Wait! Maybe not that harsh;

but you did run game on me like the kid simpson bart;

Tears fall down my eyes, but I still strive;

To be the women I’ve been to you, ms. Bonnie for clyde;

Dark nights alone, I rode that horse;

Screamed so many times that my voice grew horse;

 

Secrets beyond secrets; that you held from me;

Ya attitude twards the end of us, grew straight sucky;

I thought I knew you, but I lied to myself;

you got me taking back to back pills, please call mental health;

Felt like A whole nother nigga was lying in my bed;

cause for one year straight, you aint blaze me no head;

I had to beg you every time;

and half the time ya face was tuned up like you just ate a lime;

for sex to, it was so stressful;

to know another bitch aint have to do half of what I did, but still kept you;

I don’t regret you, no, no, never that;

but I do regret letting you tame my little, kitty kat;

as I sit here, I still think about giving you some;

yesterday; I told my home girl, that no other man could hit this, you was # one;

You stopped fucking me 5months before my bid ,

nada, nothing, our relationship was straight dead;

 

Tell me please! What’s all that shit you talked;

About being a real nigga, yet, when shit fell, you packed ya bags and walked;

No! you rode, in ya baby mothers nice grey car;

had me walking on strings, not ropes, like a old ass guitar;

left me straight stranded in the cold;

and for that shit nigga, all I can say, is you straight bold;

 

you was out like drug dealers when police run up on em, in the quickness;

I heard you, felt you, helped you, felt it; but you felt nothing for me at all, like lint bitch;

And still I had the balls to pick up a pen and pad;

Facebooking ya shit daily, waiting for a message, now that’s just sad;

We lost touch, like a boost mobile phone;

Shit is ay’ley; times on my wrist, but you left me in the zone;

 

Zoned out, smoked out, cain, piff, trees liquor and pills;

I let you run this shit like that thorough bread nigga meek mills;

Lil wayne said bitches aint loyal;

But why fuck with a nigga if he aint doing shit for you;

I soar you like a spaceship; Im delusional, trust me, not sick;

And this poem is to long, to vein and to thick;

 

So I have to quit; but on some real shit, this shit is so bliss;

But I do feel mad relieved after taking this piss!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond P.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Splinters

 

 

Look! Im tired of dissing you mu’fucka’s;

So imah save that shit for the round the way busta’s;

Imah kill this shit, then you and ya mother;

Then bring yall back like Michael, when he was a street hustler;

Get it! no you don’t! just means your nothing;

Ya parking on the bus; means ya still on ya bumb shit;

 

Im soaring like a rocket; you calling me ah bumb bitch;

I’ll have niggas stomp you out for no price, mix you up and call it hummus;

Shits definitely getting real, and like wheezy im hard;

Im the one famous but bitch you gone need the bodyguard;

I got you sleeping with ya kids like a person in incest; cause you see me in ya dreams;

Im ya worst nightmare, matter fact, I’ll make ya cream;

 

You aint got shit on this blazing ass bitch;

Ya people’s told my people’s, you resemble a blow fish;

Im piercing through ya soul like splinters;

Get with the paper maker then call me for dinner;

You aint no winner; you a loser;

And When I finish this poem; you gone replace the low for user;

 

Im not gone fight you though; cause see im on parole;

I cherish my life and I wana remain home;

The hardest mu’fucka’s aint about that life; they got better shit to do;

Than tackle ah mu’fucka and use they smarts on some faucet ass bitch, who aint got a clue;

Who her man fucking, you right! Im in the was been’s;

So check them other bitches in ya face; that’s fucking ya husband;

 

Oop’s! I mean, ya man; cause after 14 years, you still aint got there yet;

But you spending money on him, keeping him on deck;

That’s why I kill you with these poems; make ya body bleed anxiety;

I told you not to do it ta yaself, but yet you steady riding dee;

Stop writing you poems, you still writing me bitch;

I only sent 3, but something must be good, cause you still on my dick;

You’re a maggot to a fly; so why even try;

You told me kill myself; but you the one feeling like you wana dive;

I birthed you bitch; no I bird you bitch;

Cast a spell on that ass like that chick from be-witch;

You was ah hoe since before I was born; ya mama had you and called you eoh;

Switch that shit around; I told you, you’se ah hoe;

 

I wanted to kill you myself, but you already dead,… cause your not listed in my book;

When I hit the block,.. niggas steady screaming look;

Look at my facebook;… I was famous before I became rich;

And –you- are- nothing! But pieces of lint bitch;

I tossed you them three poems, off the top of my head, they aint even in my book;

They was just for you slore and I got you mad shook;

 

You aint shit but a talker and imah pedophilic walker;

Which means,.. I don’t give a fuck about ya age, I’ll off ya;

You think you hard, cause you beat that Spanish bitches ass that couldn’t fight;

Suck my crew off trick, catch our nut, and don’t wipe;

We all creepers, the streets cold reapers;

Though you neva know our times,.. when we sway through it’s either;

 

Snoop will neva let me get hurt;

Well stop running ya mouth; like tryna get murked;

I told you before; I was a mu’fuckin whore;

Before the age of 19; I was a super slore;

See bobby I’ll admit to it; cause imah real bitch;

Im killing you like lil mama say; with no music;

 

To keep it ah buck, my pussy still tight, cause I only becked them niggas;

Ya clit was on fire; cause it was pulling mad triggas;

Snoop aint give you Chlamydia or gonorrhea bitch; cause at that point; he was only fucking me;

So get ya men in line and find out who gave you that disease;

I stay with clinic checks and condoms,.. we never used;

So point goes guard and bitch you lose;

 

I got paper work to prove it;

So all that lying shit, lose it;

back to the kisses; cause we getting off the subject;

I need you the purchase that chris brown, cause I know you aint gone run it;

Im the thourohest poet alive since 2pac huh;

I been spitting poems since the 80’s shorty duap;

 

All them mu’fucka’s you still listening to on ya stereo;

Bitch please! I just made like 35mill off ah Minnie show;

I got the biggest stars here to see me perform;

You feeling kinda frewish; cold nights and thunder storms;

You’ve been warned; im the best and nuttin less;

Lauryn hill baby! Laid you out with no stress;

 

You talking bout my kids, but you shopping at wal-mart;

My kids wore nuttinless than hallmark;

Eblens, enyce, gap, Nike’s;

I can go on for days bitch; straight grimy;

Ya man looking good, while you looking should;

You aint got shit on me; I wish you would;

 

You said ya man last mad hours; not in my pussy;

3minutes bitch; ya shit drier than tushie;

Ya shit smell like a toilet; well at least that’s what he said;

Ya so fuckin drained; I’ll toss ya ass some geek meds;

I spit lyrics on this mic, like awight;

Steady on ya tina shit,… please! Don’t hit me ike;

 

Ya stomach so sick; got you feelin like you pregnant;

But it’s from that fire I just caused; shouldn’t have been inhaling it;

I left so many scars,… you gone need emergency surgery;

Told you who I am; diamond p. it’s to early bee;

You wake up with me on ya brain;

Just the thought of me snatching back ya man,.. I driving you ay’ley;

 

But what you have to understand,… is I don’t want him honey;

You want the strings so bad, so I’ll just let you play the dummy;

You’re a mummy, trapped in a cold, dark casket;

They labeling me play boy bunny, but you can have my easter basket;

I did a 3yar bid and came back on some new shit;

You hate me so bad right now with a vengeance;

 

You been on my dick so long,… it’s like you want me to fuck you;

Wait,… I already did,.. and I labeled you a one boo;

Not cause you the best,… you will neva be that;

I aint even that tall, but my ego taller than shaq;

You’se a rat, you max-a-pac; now your caught in a trap;

You will neva be me; 545’s with strap’s; on Cadillac’s;

 

I’ll roll through ya hood; like every body knows dee;

So aint no bodies being bagged except you kay;

My paralysis is so spanglish; I got you feeling anguish;

I straight fucked you in the silence and I don’t speak sign language;

Ya so hurt bitch; this shit is getting ugly;

Im steady screaming pay me; bitch you still screaming; snoop fuck me;

 

You said he hollering; I will never be that;

But all I gotta do is cock em’ open; and he’ll eat my kitty kat;

So imah rinse you out like ajax, go way back;

Flip up the middle finger ta you, fuck you with a wave cap;

Pass me some soap; cause im washing my hands of you;

P stands for poet; makeover; im out!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop right there

 

 

Hey, hey, hey!... you there with the drinks;

Don’t just stare at me like a lion seeking out his prey;

Have some respect; approach me and say;

 

Hey miss!... how you doing,… come get to know me; I don’t ask for much;

But please!... don’t step to me if you taking the bus;

 

Call me rude;… say im whatever;

But imah tell you now,… yes,… money is my pleasure;

 

Not a lot,… just enough to pay my bills;

Enough to cop me that new benz and them diamond, stiletto heels;

 

And if you don’t keep it real,… please don’t approach me;

Cause I don’t need no halfway thug halfway homie;

 

And imah let you know,… you aint gotta stress about the sex;

Cause what you cant do,… my batteries do best;

 

Yeah,… um’hum,… Duracell last long time;

So please mr. paper,… gone head and spit yo lines;

 

And don’t forget those drinks!... I say;

As I sway my hips on the walk pass him,… best believe homie they deffy on you today!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Straight shady

 

 

Questions in my mind,… hazy;

How could you play me?,… like be so shady;

Fire blazing in my heart,… so angry;

I want to spazz stupid,… like go crazy;

 

 

Love me not’s hiding in the shadows;

You snake,… I hear your hisses and rattles;

I should’ve known by the way you was fucking me;

Making faces that was ugly;

 

I caught you in my bathroom with another bitch;

I should’ve known then but stupid me just took a breath and counted to ten;

 

 

I loved you like a musicians first pay check;

Our son wasn’t thought of at all but you stayed on deck;

You drove your car while I walked;

Listening to people laugh and talk;

 

 

About how I said I would never be that girl;

How I would never let a man rock my bougie ass world;

They say that you never cry over spilled milk and whatever is done is done;

But really how could I make you number one, how could I be so dumb;

 

 

Im sitting in this mirror looking at myself;

Wondering how im gone put myself back together;… like gain all my wealth;

It’s all gone because of you;

But I don’t regret it though; I cant even say im through;

 

 

Because,… when you walk through that door with all your sexiness and thug wear;

And you say,… bring that ass over here;

For sure; yes I know; that I’ll be right there;

With pain in my heart and the thought of a trillion shedded tears!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Straight vexed

 

Kaboom,… blast,… the bomb just blew up;

Im so freakin pissed,… bartender fill her up

Life is so crazy; no people straight shady;

Grimy’ness everywhere; it’s really amazing;

You think people your friends; betta check again;

I know me im done; aint no more counting tens;

They smile in ya face and talk ish behind ya back;

But aint got the balls when ish falls to attack;

The way I was raised; for that ish you get dropped;

But I don’t need the dee’s on my back; no more round the clock locks;

Miserable crows aint got ish to do; so they live yo life;

Taking on yo business like they yo trophy wife;

When you cant even trust your own fam; or the ones you claim closest to you,… that’s when ish gets real;

And with that said,… im bout to sign a paper deal;

I just laugh at em’ word; cause where im at,… they cant stop me;

You will never be me; heard my song, make a copy!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stressing

 

I am so tired of being stressed out;

Pain working in my bones; feeling so alone;

Im in such a mental state,.. im delusional;

Hallucinations,… im losing fuel;

My spirit is empty,.. my heart is broken;

What am I to do? am I to blame or am I chosen;

Miles and miles of power; crashing down like twin towers;

The ability to speak the words of cowards;

Address me,.. undress me,.. take me high then bring me low;

I wana be free to live, to sing, to dance with the pro’s;

Give inner peace they say; have none to give I say;

But one day,… man,… I know I’ll sway another way!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tears

 

 

Tears fall like rain;… I rise;

Tears have no name;… im blind;

Power takes over my soul,.. I die;

Lead me to peace;… don’t try

Walk with me through a valley of joy;

Signs of the time’s,.. killa cam,.. oh boy;

Caress my mind with equivalences of uniqueness;

Rescue my heart from this precinct;

Battle these broken scars; they’re faded;

Sadness for love,.. I’d deffy trade it;

If I had it,.. I wouldn’t be so cold;

Get this blanket,.. cover me,.. please,.. triple fold;

Spazz to your own; but im playing this trombone;

They left me helpless,.. to fend on my own;

This is the present, but I want the future;

To hear street racquet and the sounds of the cruisers;

To walk my own ground without signing a list;

Or those annual lock downs; that just make me pissed;

This poem is called tears and mine fall like rain;

I rise, im blind and tears have no name!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

Tears on my heart

 

 

 

Shedding skin so pure cause I miss you;

I feel so bare, so raw, I need you;

You left with no noise;

After playing me like game boys;

Why?... cant I breath without you;

Please,…. Come back,… love me like you used to;

Tears on my pillow not having you here;

On my brain,… thoughts of you driving me crazy;

Why do you still love her,… love me like that;

No baby!... love me more than that;

When you share my world;

I get so weak in the knees,… I can hardly speak;

Give me love without a limit;

And everything will be okay; I feel it;

And one day,… I shall again mark your interest!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Temptations on my brain

 

 

No love lost, no love found;

But through this journey,… I will stay bound;

My heart has stricken pain,… just like cancer;

I search and search,… but still no answer;

I climb that black mountain,… on a reach to blue sky;

But the closer I get,.. just feels like I die a little more inside;

A case of the chills,.. a bottle of white pills;

But the other side of me is screaming,…tee,.. are you crazy? What’s the deal;

I tune her out,.. with fear and doubt;

As I hear another voice saying,.. you know what im about;

I drain cold sweat,.. wondering will I regret;

Taking my own life just to earn some respect;

Maybe so,… so here I go;

Bottle after bottle,.. my minds screaming no;

My body feels so empty and it all seems so real to me;

Until I awake,…and realize it was just a dream!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The way I feel

 

 

 

Pressure on my chest,… my hearts in pain;

Don’t know what to say or do,… my brain so insane;

Holding back tears trying to be tough;

Explain to me please,… why my life is so rough;

Attacks come naturally like hawks to a body;

In reality,… im afraid,… will I run away,… proly;

I felt like I could hold on, like control myself, take on everyone’s problems;

Now im just barley hanging on; not knowing how to stop them;

Sometimes,… I get so angry,… I mumble to myself;

Maybe,… the problems would disappear if I had wealth;

My soul leaks anxiety to believe;

To have faith,… like hope,… and to please;

At times I feel stupid for not giving up;

But then I think,… what would come of me what;

So beyond this,… I write,… to help me and express my feelings;

Sometimes,… it makes me hurt more,… and sometimes it gives me healing!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

These thoughts

 

 

18 million miles away, with so many words to say;

But only air escapes;

How do we speak through minds;

When we walk the same path but can’t even meet eyes;

Love quickly fading; no more braveness;

You fell so deep,… that your soul was taken;

Now,… only bitterness arrives;

Because they left you with no ride;

No chance of protection to help you survive;

I can’t see it coming down my eyes;

So I gotta let this poem cry;

So many ways to go but I cant;

Shadows around me closing in on me as they chant;

Witches hour; it’s dark; half past midnight;

Bad dreams about you dying after we fight;

Where are you baby? Come back to me; I need you;

Cold, im so cold, your love warms me, it’s lethal;

How can I survive without you, these arrows come at me like robin hood;

Never understood you baby and no I cant say it’s all good;

I fiend you like crack;

First you love me and now you wont come back;

I want to be with you like future, my future;

So cut the shit baby; stop playing; don’t refuse this;

I would say your not all I need to get by;

But remember I told you I tell no lies;

The limits sky high; and this is your last chance;

If again you don’t respond,… I’ll just flip you the dougie dance!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

This ish is crazy

 

 

 

Tell me how,…

 

Could the one you claim to love,… treat you so cold;

When ultimately together , for six years, like dice you rolled;

The pain in your heart aches so bad you cant sleep;

For days and nights on end; you do nothing but weep;

You hide in the darkness of your room shaking with cold sweats;

So much hate for him your soul regrets;

He shitted on you so bad pine soul couldn’t clean it;

But still for his touch, scent, sex, you’re phening;

How did you become this,… his other bitch;

No respect for you at all,… not even a cheap kiss;

Your screaming under your breath,… how the hell this happen;

The voices in ya head saying jump,… and you sign,… ay’yi captain;

You have no more faith or hope, your life in despair;

Not even asking for help; you don’t need to share;

No one will care,… cause when they told you to leave him alone;

You kept on playing his mute trombone;

You’re tired, you’re weary, but to act like you don’t care is scary;

So again to his bull ish you remarry;

And now you’re back at square one, with that heart breaker, soul taker, named larry!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

This race I ran

This race im done

 

 

Never mind the one that helped you stay strong;

Never mind the one that helped you along;

Never mind that I would never hurt you;

Never mind the fact that I would never desert you;

 

Never mind that you slept with my ex and I forgave you;

Never mind the fact of the pain you caused I never hated you;

Never mind that despite you letting Jerome hurt me; I still loved you;

Or the fact that in every case,… there’s always a trace or clue;

 

I was suspicious but you were just grimy and vicious;

You got pregnant, fell in love, and straight left me in the ditches;

You put him on the pedal stool with no care at all;

That I would be the one that would have to take the downfall;

 

Tears fall from my eyes, that was deffy a surprise;

Why couldn’t you just be honest instead of telling lie after lie;

So now im done, I washed my hands of you;

No family, no friends and now, … yes mom we’re through!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Race

 

 

 

Life’s a running mile, so we chase it on a road leading nowhere;

Sometimes protected, most times bear;

We crave to be better than the best, flyer than the rest;

But in reality we just push ourselves to the test;

Minds pacing on nights we do drive byes;

And some just do it to be cool,.. but aint bold enough to tell a lie;

This world is spinning so fast that nobody ever stops to think about that baby that was just born;

Or to think about that woman that was just scorned;

Like burned,.. not by disease, but by a fire;

Because her man came in the house pissed and tired;

Or ,..That woman that was just raped and beaten in the ally of the corner store market;

Or that man, by just showing he was gay, became the streets target;

Everyone so full of themselves, they cant see the truth;

Pride so high, its about to top the roof;

I bleed speed, pulling triggas of love to spread to the world;

Sometimes though, I feel smaller than a squirrel;

Poisons drain from my body; call it oxygen;

Evil thoughts acted out, call them mocks of sin;

Poor little child; sitting alone in her room;

Feeling nothing but doom;

2 year old child just fell from a window;

While her mothers drugged up and passed out, on the pillow;

Cover on the infants face, suffering, crying for help, but no ones around;

Parents left her alone for a second to watch that man get beat down;

Those famous people; look so happy, but no one knows or bothers to ask how they really feel, so they express there pain through acting, poetry and music;

But the fans choose to take it in and use it;

Mostly in the way that they compute it;

But die trying to use it on something stupid;

Some just listen cause they like the beat;

Others play it when they feel nothing but defeat;

So many faces; lead the crowd; they all want to be leaders;

Propane tanks on a broken ship; that will lead to either;

Weapons; I wear to protect myself;

But how did we get this way? We really need help;

Starving children and people all over this earth;

But we have all this material shit, what is it really worth;

Cause when we die; we don’t keep it; we cant wear it;

We just rock the same old shit that we woke up in;

So naked, so bare, so near, so there;

Amidst that lake, lye’s broken stones and shedding tears;

I believe I can fly; no! I believe, we can try;

To put in effort to be the worlds peace of divide;

So that one day, when our spirits collide;

We can all rest in peace knowing through each and every person we survived!

 

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Through my music

 

 

Through my music,… I survive;

Through my music,… im alive;

Through my music,… I feel no pain;

It helps to shatter the hurt and the shame;

I dance to the melodies; I add to the recipes;

Now everything I’ve been,.. it cant put no stress on me;

I’ve made bad choices, now I speak good voices;

I’ve learned in my life,.. to only marry, no divorces;

To the game I mean, kinda hazy,.. it seems;

But who is to blame,…````when life is but a dream;

We walk a mile a minute just to get in where we fit in;

But what does it mean, cause if we caught we finished;

You say no way,.. I say jose’;

Just listen to my words and take them day by day;

You still keep going, well imah still keep showing;

That,…if you stay true,.. it can never be broken;

So take this chance and please,.. look around;

And know one thing; you can always be found!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Explosion

 

 

Time evaluates,.. the clock ticks;

Click,.. click,…click,…tick,…boom;

The room crashes down;

Im running but my feet is still bound;

Im nervous,… shaking,.. cold sweats;

I need to get away,.. I say,.. but my lips don’t move;

My heart pounds,… strikes of pain,… shooting like thunder, I cant breath;

Hallucinations,… damn I knew I shouldn’t have smoked them trees;

My bodies on fire,… 3rd degree;

I wana pass out so I hold my breath;

So many fingers pushing me,.. should I call it impress;

The devils eyes,… my mama’s cries;

No one knows who I m anymore;.. surprise;

Life made me this way,.. a bad kitty who stray’s;

Models what they name it; this way imah stay;

Explosions;… watch out; I love this so crouch;

And watch as everyone squeaks; shhh! Let’s play house!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What the fuck

 

 

On this mic,… I spit these lyrics that we been through;

My mind is still high from the meds, I guess its mental;

Or its im mental, sign a doctors note, im in you;

Triple course meals, you just hit the mc’donalds menu;

Afraid to let go because you’re my excuse to not love anyone else;

But I guess me playing this game; I have to deal with the cards I was dealt;

Different days, same shit, you wasn’t shit;

That’s why I left you alone because I couldn’t handle it;

Somebody help me, im shaking so bad;

Please dope dealer, lend me a bag;

All I need, is one that’s not you, but like you, to make me better;

Yes the generic brand, will do, that would mean less spent cheddar;

My punani,… calls your name, no matter where we’re at, or whose around;

You say drop it low; I turn around and hit the ground;

My legs so spread apart, every time you come around;

You can see my insides, my whole body’s shutting down;

How fair is it that, everyone is 69ing love except me;

Is it , at all, because I disrespected my body;

Maybe if I would have just remained who I used to be and stayed away from the crowd;

In this year of 2014, you would still be here now;

I have to be honest and say,.. I never really went hard, fucking them niggas;

I was just to ashamed to tell you that my mouth was on they triggas;

Cause I would have rather you hold back the dick, than your sweet kisses;

Because without them, I have nothing, and I needed your gentleness;

I never kissed anyone, besides, you and my best friend Michael;

I wanted to stop my families vicious cycle;

I tried so hard and I did pretty good;

But still, I cant understand why my name got carved so deep in the hood;

Im still embarrassed to say I got 4 baby daddy’s;

But not afraid to say I screwed you in a caddy;

Your sex was so blazing to me;

And I told you, no I showed you, that it was painful vee;

Anxiety through my body, my soul so abroad;

I write these letters, but I spit these poems,.. like rap lyrics;

My rap lyrics, cant you feel it;

At any time of any day,.. I write;

And get out my thoughts of what I have to say;

Sometimes,… I can be as cold as winter;

And sometimes I can make my body speak in terms to make you feel like a winner;

It’s so crazy, cause sometimes I hurt so much,.. I just wana die;

Deepened in a pool of water, but still I cry;

This is all so wrong, it shouldn’t be like this;

You should be the one chasing me in them fresh new kicks;

I feel every inch of your soul working through my veins;

So evil, so cold, but I am to blame;

So with that said, I’ll keep pressing rewind;

Until this tape pops and for you I decline!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why?

 

Why must you continue to think about me;

so I continue to dream about you;

it’s so hard,.. everyday,.. struggling;

with the fact of how much I love you and you don’t me;

kisses on my neck and back,… from marks of lies;

oh how I wish I could turn back time;

tells repeatedly,… over and over,… sounds affect;

the loudness in my heart turns so silent;

darkness beyond my heart beat,… you made me so violent;

I made this for us to reminisce;

You,… took it,… away; and times on the clock you return;

Umph,… with that same tired line;

I need you,… im sorry,… you love me right;

You make so long lust to me,… then goodnight;

You,… back at it,… again;

So I wont ever win;

Look man,… my patience is running thin;

I never forgot who you were,… but you did I;

When you’re on that block;

Make sense of this and please tell me why;

Do I continue to give you my all when you don’t even try!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your birth

 

 

The day you were born; our worlds entwined;

I cried tears of joy upon hearing your first cry;

Like blooming flowers in the sun;

The melody of your life had jut begun;

Create in me your mother figure;

So that no others beg to differ;

I love you princess and leaving you hurts me;

But know that my spirit is still with you on your birthday!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those little words

 

 

 

 

 

Questions on my mind; why do you love me so much;

But you told me to;

Understand That no matter who comes along;

 

I will always love you and;…

 

Never put nothing or no one else above you;… you said;

 

Tee mama I will give you the world if;

 

Only I had the world to give;… you will,…

 

Never have to worry about anything because I will be your biggest,…

 

Support, your strength and your shoulder to cry on;

I will be nothing but;

Positive, caring and understanding to and for whatever it is your going through;

 

I will make nothing but sweet love to you because that’s what you deserve;

I will;

Cherish you, all of you, your soul and your mind; you’re so unique;

I’ll even go as far as to wash your stinky feet;

Everyday is so special to me because I get to hear your voice;

And even on my birthday for you I will rejoice;

For how happy I am to have you in my life;

I will always;…Respect you even if you’re not my wife;

Because we have a special bond through la’la’s little life!

 

These are you’re words you’ve spoken to me;

Love me kiss me and never deceive we!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Live no life

 

This story lives for miles;

For miles and miles, there’s how’s;

Tell me how can a man be so gruesome;

As to rape a child;

Then walk away like nothing happened;

With his mind stuck on denial and his face with a smile;

 

A little mile further, so many people on drugs;

Tricks, pimps –n- hoes, good girls and thugs;

Wana be like the next;

Strippers shaking they goodies and revealing they mama’s breast;

Giving off in the corner like they know what’s best;

Dang baby girl now he blessed and you just straight mesh;

 

 

2miles later in the house there’s a mother;

Struggling to feed her babies, sisters and brothers;

This is so shady but it’s all gravy;

Cause one day, just know that god will repay thee;

Mama,… god knows where, doing who knows what;

So beyond all this stress,… she developed no trust;

The only love she knew is not near an inch willing to help her;

In her most time of need when only he can make her better;

Cash in her pocket from doing what she had 2;

But when it’s all gone;… dang what she gone do;

 

This is the end of the road, comes no more miles;

No more vow’s but one more how’s;

How do we know when this will be over;

When the years go by and the centuries get shorter!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

As I drift

 

As the wind blows,… I drift;

Off in the days, closing my eyes,… seeing;

Fire blazing, people running;

Reversing into,… joy, music;

People dancing to the beat;

Cries in the air; a new bourn baby born or maybe two;

 

As the wind blows,… I drift;

I see,… magic in the air;

Sparkles, fireworks, the sun;

Shines so bright,…

And then slowly turns into the moon;

That solemnly becomes night;

 

As the wind blows,… I drift;

I am so mellow,… the flowers bloom;

In the spring time,… daisy pedals so beautiful;

My heart speaks so silently without;

My lips moving,… how could that be;

Why more so me;

And to that,… I say;

 

 

Because when the wind blows, and the air trips beyond all of this,…

I love to drift!

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

Ex me

 

 

This is the case of the ex;

You aint know it;

who is this woman,… I cant understand;

all those feelings and strength I had;

where did they go;

stones like rocks in my heart;

not just cold,… frozen;

I don’t ever ant to love again;

Scorned,… from these thorns;

Piercing through me like needles;

Convince me,… hypnotize me;

I want to change,… like be someone else;

Im to numb, so gone, like a comb;

Im looking for it, where is it;

This thing called careful;

Cause maybe,… just maybe,… if I had it;

I wouldn’t be in this situation see;

You know what im saying;

Do you feel me;

Ha,… this ish is crazy!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reminiscing

 

 

 

As the days go by;

My body, soul and mind craves your attention;

Your touch, your scent in my bed;

Your head and body in between my thighs;

The way you’d whisper in my ear how much you loved my sexual cries;

How you would talk so soft to me while we were making lust;

And how we’d keep the rocker going from dawn till dust;

 

 

 

 

I miss my nick name,… pretty, that’s what it was right;

And how we’d call each other at midnight just to say goodnight;

You was my weapon against man;

I remember when you would drop everybody and everything just to hold my hand;

 

 

 

 

What happened to us, I thought we always vowed that forever we would remain friends;

But instead you got me cleaning out my closet like eminem;

I’m hurting baby I don’t want this to end;

Tell me big daddy!... how can I get you back in;

 

 

 

 

 

Speak to me, tell me that you’re sorry;

Tell me that you will never leave me again;

Write me a letter, like send me some mail;

Tell me that once again you’re under my spell;

Tell me that im delusional; you were here the whole time;

Be that sweetness you were to me before, let’s rewind time;

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s take it back to when I was sixteen and we first met;

How you told me you was in love with me and nothing less;

How you use to compliment me every chance you got;

And how you said if I ever got hurt you would send a man to they plot;

How we glided through these here streets like bonnie and clyde;

How we used to be each others ride and die;

Remember that? I just don’t understand how there could be so much hate between us;

Well you to me; cause I still love you;

How and why? I haven’t a clue! How can you let them define us;

How you let them get in our way,… it doesn’t make sense, tell me please;

Because we both know that deep down inside,… im the one you really need;

Baby,… I have your seeds;

Please,… come back to me,… I need you vee!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

beyond these walls

 

 

Beyond these walls;

There is that everyone who just wants to be free;

Maybe in they’re mind, maybe from these gates;

Praying daily that their name will be called;

Or on that 3:30 court run,… the judge will give them a chance;

The lifers seem to except;

While the 69er’s seem to regret;… the cards they are dealt;

Some cant help but hustle because that’s their life;

And some just do it to feed their kids and pregnant wives;

 

 

It’s hard out there for a pimp;

But what about that game player or no namer;

Sitting in those lonely streets;

With nothing but his harmonica and 4beats;

 

 

What about that one that cant sleep;

Cause they aint had enough to drink;

Let alone enough time to think;

No quietness,… anywhere;

Not even there;

Man come home ruling like he the ish;

Cause you chose to stay after 20 females done mopped his stick;

Smacking you down like the clown he is;

And you the only one taking care of his bad bebe’s kids;

So now you here in this cell because you couldn’t take his ish no more;

Got you wondering why you aint pack yo ish and just head on out that door;

 

Beyond these walls:

There’s that grown little child, hurting so bad;

Cause her mama at home screwing what she thought she had;

Or maybe what she didn’t;

What once was,… suddenly isn’t;

Many paces, same places, sometimes up, sometimes down;

Sometimes all around;

Many things lead my path, but I am not a follower;

I lead the way for the unbelievers;

Make space for the unachievers; that malish in their self pity;

Who make life the enemy;

 

Beyond these walls:

I sit in this bed;

Waiting for what’s going to happen with a pen and a pad!

 

 

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drift

 

 

 

So my life began so sweet and tender;

This colored girl with the bright red dress;

Pieces of clouds in the far awayness;

Make the earth look so pretty;

Underneath this disguise,… there’s a beast;

Awaiting the night to come;

To let go, to destroy,… everyone who brought pain;

Amidst those with no name;

Line’s, lye, leveled, leaving, limp, space;

Say grace for all those in mourning;

 

 

 

All life reborning,… this is my identity;

My walk, my path, my answers;

To questions I am thinking in my mind;

This faint spell of a demon;

Trying to steal my breath, invite itself into my body;

I wonder,… who I am,… everyday,… who I want to be;

Why?... did that man create me;

I try so hard to speak without speaking;

To see without seeing,… im blind;

Can you hear me, can you feel it;

Everything around us is so intimate;

 

 

 

Without mother,… no child;

No children,… no fun;

No father,… no sun;

No soil,… no flowers;

Don’t you get it, everything and everybody;

Needs something or someone to grow;

To show and I speak on this because sometimes I feel like;

I don’t need one body;… but how will I survive;

Or maybe if I just,… curl up in a ball and wish I was home;

Like Dorothy,… I will soon find my way;

The bright heavens will open up;

And he will reach his hand down and take me away!

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: My victims letter :

This one is for myself. Self ! I want to take this time out to appreciate who you are today instead of who you were then. I beat you down for so long, not knowing deep down inside who I had hiding there! I never believed that you could be anything but yet here you sit writing poetry, music and your own story that io know one day you will become famous for! Look at all of what you achieved. I mean for Christ sakes, you got not only your ged, something you’ve been wanting for over a century, you got your can degree and you chose to fight through pain, not crack under pressure. You use to be a quiet soul, who was so afraid to speak up, you wouldn’t even so much as squeak like a tiny mouse, but today you tell stories bigger than any mansion let along house. You speak in front of people, you help people out and you bring ideas that were never imagined. I mean come on, who would have thought all that talent you were hiding for that you would inspire others to push forward. This little old soul. You bring so much joy to peoples lives and there are plenty others that love you that you thought you could never that. When you look in your mirror, you see a beautiful and intelligent women, despite you not having any family to depend on and I want you to keep being who you are and when ever you feel down, keep this letter and read it so you can remember how far you’ve come from where you were.

 

 

Love myself

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: My victims letter :

This is an apology to my children: Elijah age 13, quirvontrey age 11, Trevor age 10 and lazariah age 7! Im sorry I couldn’t be there to watch the four of you grow into the wonderful and beautiful people you are today! I cant say I know how you feel cause if I did then you wouldn’t be where you are right now! I never meant to put you guys in the situation you are in as far as dcf goes! I made some very bad choices by not choosing to stand up for myself when the need came along! I was afraid and instead of asking for help or saying no, you guys had to suffer for my stress and pain, for that one minute flip out, that I never in a million years thought would happen. For a long time I lived in denial, believing that I didn’t need help, and that if I just prayed like I was raised to, I’d be fine! But I wasn’t fine! I hurt everyday that goes by, because I cant just walk in the room and see you guys like I used to! because I cant be the fun and loving mommy and do things with you guys like I used to. I sat for a long time in jail because I finally decided to stop living in denial and receive the help I needed. Because of that, jail did not break me, it made me! im still working on myself so that when you guys do return, you’ll be home for good and you don’t have to worry about going through what you went through again. Mommy now has her nursing degree, her g.e.d, and found her talent in writing, that I am choosing to pursue my career in. I also plan on going back to school work in other fields. I am not just doing this for myself, but I am doing it to show you guys that even through pain and hardship, you can still be somebody. I want you guys to know that despite my mistakes, I still love you guys, I just needed a little help. I love you guys with my whole heart and nothing less. Even though I don’t have you here physically, I keep you guys picture where ever I go. I show you guys pictures to everyone I can. With that said, even if you don’t come back to me, I want you to know that I m still and always will love you and I am still your mother and I pray that one day, we get to look back on these days with good tidings.

 

Love mommy

 

 

: My victims letter :

To my sweet baby trey! I miss you so much, I do! I pray to god everyday that I can have you back by my side. This is a strict apology to you. I didn’t mean to harm you and this is something I hope that you can forgive me for one day! You were a victim of my abuse, my pain, and my stress. The day you were born was the best day that could have happened and also the worst. And I say that in a good way. Meaning to see you lying there in that incubator at 3hours old on life support, was one of the worst things that could have happened top both of us, I was seventeen years old with a 2year old and a 3hour old baby with cancer and a collapsed lung. I was trying my best to handle it as best as I could. I felt like I could come to no one. Like no one would listen. So the stress and the abuse just kept going because I felt like I couldn’t trust. I wish everyday of my life that I could take back what happened, I do! but I cant! I am deeply with my life, so sorry for the hurting you, you didn’t deserve to be put through that! No child does! But to tell you this,.. I did find help and till this day,.. im still working on myself, I fought for you guys tooth and nail, living in denial that I did not need any help, that I could do this, that I could be a mother even after, my rights were gone, I went to programs because I wanted to get you guys back, not because of myself! So now that im doing it for myself, im going to be a better mother to you than I was. Im gona do all I can to get myself better so when you do come home you can have the one thing a child can ask for, the one thing that I never had, a good mother. No matter whether your dads are there or not. Everyday for me is a struggle, but I know if I made it this long, I can do it. im going to do it. just like I fought tooth and nail to get you guys back, im going to put that same strength into change. And with that said,.. I apologize once more and I hope that you can forgive me!

 

Love mommy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

: My victims letter to society :

I would like to take my precious time out to say not that I apologize, but thank you. Thank you for helping me be who I am today. I lived in denial all my life believing you were the enemy, but you weren’t, it was certain people. I chose not to trust you and for that I put myself in a situation that I cant even say I regret. Because if I would have never came into this, I would not know the loving and caring people I know right now, who have no matter my attitude or how much I shut down, chose to still, help me. I don’t have much to say right now, but I thank you and hope that in the future, I still am at this point I am in.

 

 

 

 

Tiquana williams

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the end of my poems! Maybe in the future more to come! And with that said,… I would like to dedicate this book to any and everyone that picks it up and finds interest in it. also those who can relate to all of these or maybe just one. To the men and women that struggle or have been through the struggle. To those small children that are in or have been in abusive or non structural homes. To those who made it out of the pain or torture. And last but not least,… I would mainly like to dedicate this book to those who made it possible for me to push for my dreams and believe that I can be somebody. Starting with my higher power, jesus Christ, my lord and savior. And my rock through the struggle and happy moments. My children, in whom I love with my life,…Elijah, now age 8, quirvontrey, age six, Trevor, age 5 and my precious baby girl, lazariah. I love you guys with my soul and wherever you are,… just know that I think about you day and night. I keep you’re pictures everywhere I go. Next,… the counselors in the d.o.c! ms. Breau, ms. Luna, ms. Trimanchi, and all those who allowed and pushed me to tell my story. And of course listened. And last but not least,… the woman of the next step program, my peers, the staff, ms. Phillis and ms. Rhonda. I thank you for pushing me and believing in me when I felt no one else did and not giving up on me and I pray that your doing as healthy as when I last seen you.

 

 

Tiquana Williams

A.K.A

Diamond p.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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