Life = Death - volume 10 - Poems on Life , Death by Nikhil Parekh - HTML preview

21. JUST WHERE WERE YOU?

Just Where were you when I was inconsolably fretting in exasperation; with virtually no other shoulder in the world to lean upon; to share he innermost secrets of my brutally agonized heart?

Just Where were you when I sat in solitary listlessness—for hours immemorial on the dining table; not wanting to savor even the most infinitesimal morsel of food- without compassionately befriending company aside?

Just Where were you when I unrelentingly tossed and turned all cold-bloodedly sultry night; fervently waiting for those ears into which I could whisper my innumerably inexplicable happenings of the day?

Just Where were you when I sat in stony silence after composing a boundless lines of majestic poetry; ardently wanting nothing else in this world; but you as my audience to hear and engross in the spirit of each word that I'd evolved?

Just Where were you when I jumped in unabashed exhilaration at achieving my very first triumph in this vast world; wanting to rejoice in its glory for moments unprecedented in the passionately sensuous warmth of your arms?

Just Where were you when I inexhaustibly wept tears of emptiness; when the knives of loneliness stabbed me deeper and deeper; to make me a living carcass more ghoulish than its veritably dead counterpart?

Just Where were you when I sat in morose submission—rejected by the entire world; but still with untamed fires burning alive in my eyes; as I timelessly awaited you to ask me as to how I felt-as to what had I recently undergone?

Just Where were you when I was irrevocably trapped in the hell of lecherous mayhem; refusing every ounce of benign help that came my way; untiringly desirous of only your unparalleled countenance coming to my rescue?

Just Where were you when I needed that pricelessly inevitable pat on my back; after endeavoring for a countless hours on the trot to spawn sheer and insatiably rhapsodic newness; out of a graveyard of nothingness?

Just Where were you when I sought those minuscule bits of admiration for every honorary accomplishment of mine; inspiring me all the more and indefatigably on the path towards altruistic righteousness?

Just Where were you when I needed to quell the unsurpassably raging fires of my flesh; with the magically silken caress of your skin; forever become one in the  fragrance of your bountiful existence?

Just Where were you when I'd desperately cuddled to a bundle of frazzled fright; when all I perennially waited for was your rejuvenating voice; to sweep me of my beleaguered feet and into the land of invincible utopia?

Just Where were you when I endlessly kept listening to the rapid ticking of the grandfather clock; waiting for the doors to open with a bang upon your blessed arrival; and the sound of your mesmerizing footsteps overwhelming everything else in vicinity?

Just Where were you when I audaciously chose the road never ever tread upon; and then having done so I needed your friendship and inspiration all the more; to survive amidst a pack of savage wolves and emerge effulgently victorious?

Just Where were you when I'd shunned and shunted everything else in the world for you; walked out of my parent's palace at strokes well past midnight—to meet you at the footsteps of the mosque; from where we'd planned to silently elope?

Just Where were you when I was starving to an unforgivably gruesome death just outside your doorstep; waiting for your eyes to atleast recognize me-if not make love; as an organism whom you once upon a time profoundly and dearly loved?

Just Where were you when I was fighting an infinite devils singlehandedly; when I so badly wanted your voice from behind to encourage and pep me up each unleashing minute; and not at all the muteness of the atmosphere as my lone savior?

Just Where were you when I was just about to leave for my heavenly abode; relinquishing my physical form forever at the commands of the Lord; indisputably wanting to utter just once in your ears; as to how much I missed you?

And now when I'd only started to plan as to how to legally give you divorce; separate you from each aspect of my life; you suddenly seemed everywhere-as if landed from the land of nowhere; spuriously smiling and comforting me to save our goddamned marriage; only so that not just half-but every part of my hard earned richness always remained the complete gloss of your artificial lips?.