“SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME”
Richard James Allen
Blackout
Don’t ask me to believe
all that vampire,
werewolf, slime monster stuff!
Since when were
Bela Lugosi or Boris Karloff
experts in electrical de-circuiting?
They always work the late show,
they’d never make it to night school.
I bet some local punk
just kicked in our fuse box.
Whichever, it’s too dark
to stumble about,
just to make sure my pot plants
haven’t strangled the cat,
& my budgie hasn’t turned into a crow,
& the steak & kidney hasn’t reconstituted itself
as Frankenstein in the fridge.
The TV’s starting to blink & sigh & gurgle
like a goddamn baby. Don’t
dribble on my new carpet.
& don’t start again
with that used car business
or I’ll kick your face in.
I’m feeling so edgy tonight.
Maybe I’ll go & wake up my buddy
uptown a couple of blocks
& chew it over with him.
&, that’s right, his sister’s
staying over for the weekend.
She’d look so cute in her pajamas,
half-asleep & standing in the hallway.
Course his old lady’d
probably bite my head off.
3 o’clock in the morning.
I’d better switch off this doggerel,
before one of us turns into Mr Hyde.
Published in More Lies (Interactive, 2021)