Tip Toe In The Briar Patch by Wade Welch - HTML preview

Leaving Tyler-

I made an early start and was walking along the highway toting a tall backpack, carrying a side bag, and dragging a pullalong. I saw right away that it would not be a simple task to find good places to drag things along. I also saw that expecting a ride before the sun comes up high is unlikely. Maybe expecting any ride at all is a long shot.

I was delighted when a truck pulled up and a nice old guy was offering me a ride. I loaded up my tall backpack, bloated sidebag, and large pullalong into the back of his pickup and hopped in. He pointed out the handgun on the console and patted the gun in his holster. "Don't try anything".

There ya have it. I ain't lyin'. The oldster was a licensed mean guy. "Awesome, you are a licensed gun carrier", was my comment. I feel safe inside. It was rather funny.  But, he promptly gave me a ride to Alto. This was the smoothest this trip would go. Alto is the tiny town at the intersection of Hwy 69 out of Tyler, and Hwy 21 to Nacogdoches.

Alto-

    1st Baptist Church

There is a somewhat large church in Alto that seems to give it a place on the map. Being that it was Sunday, and around 8:30 AM, I strolled over and noticed activity in the parking lot by the door. I ran into two really nice gentlemen who treated me very kindly as they suggested I come in for coffee. I accepted and also mentioned that this would be a great chance for me to speak to the preacher as I am on my way.

I got into a conversation with these two fine guys and it only took about 2 minutes for the older of the two to condemn me to Hell. The older one walked off while the younger suggested I wait about an hour for the preacher to show up. I told him that was not an option as I am a traveler and the road is waiting.

They refused to talk to me even if I did stay and have coffee. This is the normal response from Christian church members. They not only want total control, but also make sure that nothing can threaten their self-worship. I wish I could have stayed and seen if these men changed their minds and wanted to satisfy their curiosity about me. Of course that would have been less than a 1% chance...actually, no chance at all.

    Ride To Nacogdoches

I walked down the highway as best I could but there just wasn't any way to carry these heavy bags on this highway, as it had no shoulder at all. I ended up turning around and looking for a place to stop and rest. I found some shade and sat down for a bit, and then started again. It took maybe 15 minutes for me to see that Hwy 21 was not "my road". I ended up laying down on the side of the highway on a culvert with my head on my backpack. A nap was in order.

I was awakened by a fine young woman with her child who promptly offered me a ride, as she was going to Nacogdoches for some shopping. It didn't take very long and we were in Nacogdoches. I noticed there was a Wal Mart and some other things I am used to. We parted our ways and I began walking again. This young woman was just wonderful, and even though I was not a pretty sight, treated me with kindness.

I was extremely lucky to have received help from a wonderful, kind, and beautiful young woman. I would have jumped right onto the back of a tractor with a gorilla driving it if that was my option. 

Nacogdoches-

    AA Meeting

I had done my laundry at a barely functioning, filthy laundromat and was walking back. Normally, I would have refused to do my laundry in such a pathetic place, but this city seemed to let me know up front that I better not expect much. Everywhere I looked, things were a disaster.

Right as they were starting an AA meeting, I passed by and noticed it was beginning. I went in. This meeting was different from any I have seen before. They all talked about how they had conquered their problem, as they all had done. When it was my turn to talk, I told them that I was proud of them and apparently this was just a sign for me to see that it can work.

In Tyler, their meetings were always about their failures and how they are struggling with their bibles. I was glad to see that the AA has a purpose that deals with the bottom line...not what I saw in Tyler. 

I left this meeting and continued looking at Nacogdoches...walking with my bags.

    Godtel

This town has some growth and new stores, such as Wal Mart and several fast food restaurants. It even has a loop and a beautiful college...Stephen F. Austin. Lots and lots of nice pine trees along with oaks and others. But, it is so old.

At the only homeless shelter I could find, Godtel, I was able to get a shower. They only had one...it was an antique bathtub, no shower, just a plastic gallon jug with the top cut off. I poured the water over me and actually got clean eventually. But for the homeless, this is all they have. It has no A/C and that is where the problem begins.

Nacogdoches is not such a small city that their Godtel needs to have such a symbolic bathtub. A symbol that nothing is too pathetic for the homeless here in Nacogdoches. Too bad I didn't stay long enough to get a grip on the management procedures and write a story about that.

I could see right away that Godtel had nothing to offer me. A lack of commitment is in plain sight, and this whole city sheds a light in the morning on a huge problem in plain sight. It may well be the challenge for me, but Goodbye Nacogdoches, I have had more than enough of a challenge all along my way. Maybe this will be a future challenge for me. Suffering is definitely a part of this city.

    The City

I would not want to be in charge of remodeling and upgrading Nacogdoches. It is so far gone that it looks hopeless. I got out of this city right away. It was a similar feeling to what I had in Waco (sickening evil feeling), but much more rotted out and falling down.   

 Lufkin-

I took a liking to this city right away. It was the right size town (a little bigger than Nacogdoches) and had a small Salvation Army. They have several really nice parks here and a lot of churches, along with a sizable homeless population and a drug problem...although not nearly as bad as Tyler. But, In Tyler, there was opportunity for the homeless. They could fly signs and beg for money...making $40/hour. They could get day work that paid cash daily. Or, they could prey on the weak. Or they could con people out of their money.

In Lufkin, the police have things under control nicely. They seem very professional and have a perspective that is predictable. They do the right thing...where in other cities I have seen it go other ways. There is not much work available for the homeless, and flying signs is illegal. The con men are still operating, but on a smaller scale. They will put a knife in your face for $2. I feel somewhat safe at night with the police showing me the respect that they do.

The businesses that I encountered, and their management, were successful and not only treated me very well, but were sincerely interested in who I was and what I was doing. I was always welcome to loiter or sleep in their parking lots, or nearby. They liked my somewhat neat appearance as compared to other homeless, although I needed a haircut and shave. It was the businesses that helped me make the decision to stay in Lufkin. 

The churches were on the other end of the spectrum. They only serve themsleves...and unless I am here to serve them, they want me to go away. They must protect their secrets. 

    Salvation Army

Just like the other Salvation Army sites I have visited, this one was willing to accomodate me if they could. I did not have to attend a bible study or church session, although they expected a personal commitment of some sort toward a devotion to the bible. They were concerned with the bottom line of each homeless person. Each town I go to I look to see if they have a "Sally", since that tells me up front what to expect.

This small location has only twelve beds and one shower. It has a very small cafeteria, but they do offer lunch to the outside crowd most days during the week. Most Fridays and all weekends had no lunch, plus...any time that the cook (on payroll) didn't want to work, there was no lunch. It was a help but I could not depend on this for my lunch. Even when I did get lunch it was not a filling meal, and was always one of four or five different meals.

The meals were usually good but not more than expected from a Salvation Army. If I were going to make a suggestion, I would ask that they just make the portions a little bigger. Many of the homeless that had lunch here went to the Godtel afterwards so they could eat again, if they were allowed. But this suggestion is the same at every Sally I have been to...even the state of the art facility in Tyler. But, in Tyler it was more than just a cup of soup.

I understand that feeding a homeless person on a longterm basis is not the goal, but I still think that larger portions is heading in the right direction. I have lost 30 pounds since I started eating Sally food, but of course, I got plenty of exercise. I realize that no matter what they do at a Sally, it will be exploited by the homeless. The homeless lost their personal integrity long ago.  

The Salvation Army organization has a set of rules and expectations that are based on many years of experience and success. They can almost always be counted on for help. The rare time I ran into a problem is usually because a person who managed the operation left and had to be replaced. 

The homeless who were residents at the Sally had excellent meals at dinnertime. They were prepared by Jimmy or Billy. The residents were required to do some light chores right before dinner. I was amazed at how hard it was for one of these homeless to have any sort of positive attitude. They rarely put much effort into their job and the chore was barely done. The few times when I did a chore, I made an impression upon Jimmy or Billy.

When a town does not have a Salvation Army, I know there will be a problem. We can complain about the meals or showers, or anything else, but in the end, we love it. The institution of Salvation Army, even in its worse condition, is a wonderful support to those in need.

There is controversy now about this exact matter, but the reality is, we created this problem and those homeless people who exploit what is avaliable are just doing what humanity does when dealt these cards. The homeless are taking responsibility for OUR actions...those that we force upon them. What we need is a management team that places truth on the table and deals with that...rather than stroke egos of those who donate their time or money.

Preachers commonly have a sermon that points out the reality that as parents we set an example for our children. That they will likely become like us. When we look at the pathetic condition of our homeless population, that is just an example of the true reality of our condition. We exploit, and we refuse to take responsibility for our actions, make excuses, and blame others. We created a work of art within our society and it is called homelessness.

        Jimmy

I really like the way the Salvation Army has a man who is qualified running the show. Jimmy has been working there for eight years and knows how to handle the homeless and their problems. He sincerely cares, and that is one of the main differences between an honest shelter for the homeless and a pretender...but then again, pretending is what Christians do the best. Jimmy does care about the homeless and does care about his job.

Jimmy will stand behind the bible just as I do, but does not hide behind it as Christians do. He not only gave me what I needed in the way of help, he wanted me to have it. He wanted to give me more, and never asked me for anything or laid down silly rules designed to make his job easier. He just wanted to help. He did wonder about me as far as my abilities when it comes to writing and all the skills needed here, such as interpretation and comprehension.  

Jimmy had no problem telling his life stories or listening to mine. He had many years of direct experience and knowledge with addictions and depression. I witnessed daily the respect the homeless had for him, while these same men had no respect for Godtel. But, these same men had to walk in the door at Godtel and keep their mouth shut so they could stay for meals or shelter. The homeless could have a sense of self-respect at the Sally, and then when they enter Godtel it is exactly the opposite.

Both the Salvation Army and Godtel need support from the community and society overall. A new avenue of support that offers a fresh perspective based on truth is what they need. I think I could help provide a bottom line that offers success if we would all work together, but the Christians refuse to do anything unless they have total control, and their wishes are all that matters. They only help if it is within their self-worship and egoic self-image.

Consider the fact that the Christian church is what we count on for the foundation of the definition of mankind, as it relates to the vibration of the soul and ego, it is no wonder we are lost. I envision a situation where we are empowered with an honest concern and caring that does not include ego and money, and we have a new trail. One where a preacher does not have a congregation of hypocrites. It is quite a stretch of the imagination to discuss a church with integrity, but that is what I talk about. 

    Godtel

I went to this place seeking help similar to what I was hoping to get from the Salvation Army. In Tyler, the Gateway To Hope supplied me with everything I needed that the Salvation Army did not...showers and computer access. They also gave me laundry service if I needed it. They had the finest leadership and redefined what commitment is toward the homeless.

At Godtel, they did not want me there at all up front. It was obvious that this place tries to avoid adding anything that might make their job harder. When I told them that all I wanted was a shower three times a week and a breakfast whenever convenient, they could not come up with a good excuse to send me down the road. So they made a set of rules.

They told me that I would be required to attend their morning and evening bible study each day, no matter what services I wanted. I reminded them that I did not want to live there, or stay the night there...that I slept on concrete. They did not care about me at all. They just told me that they were a Christian ministry, and I would comply with their rules or I was not allowed there.

I was not allowed to wear shorts, and operating within a daily Christian hypocritical condition was my bottom line. Keeping my mouth shut and never having any chance of sharing anything, looking like a fool and doing chores was what they wanted from me. I did not stay long but if I had, I am sure I would have a whole page of their crazy rules and hypocritical standards of operation...probably several pages. Plus, their meals were of an unpredictable quality. 

After that first day, I made it a point to walk past their site and pause in the shade and rest a bit, since I was carrying heavy luggage. The manager routinely saw me and made it clear by his look that he is better than me. He provided me with pure evidence of the hypocrisy that I write about when I think of Christians. And this is not his fault. Not only is this the definition of humanity, it is also the definition of Christianity. Even if the manager wanted to improve his standards of quality, and address the bottom line, he would have to go out on a limb and risk all that he is...because he would not have the support of the churches. In fact, he would be their enemy, and they would dispose of him.

I understand at least as well as the Christians how dangerous and dishonest the homeless person can be. Maybe I am not so good at showing it, but I try to remember that I am looking in the mirror when I see a homeless...or a Christian. Just because they both lie and have addictions that govern their lives, that does not mean that I could not be in their places if my life drove me that way.

Not only could I have been knocked onto a path of suffering, I could also have been brainwashed into a hypocritical state of Christian self-worship. The more I investigate the bottom line of this path of ego worship, the more it slaps me in the face with the reality of how Christianity is a fear-based easy way out for egotists. But, in the small rate of success it has (10%), I have witnessed greatness.

I walk around Lufkin carrying my backpack and handbag, while also toting my carryall luggage on wheels, seeking truth. I have an extremely difficult time finding even one person who cares about truth, as they know that it threatens their existence on the ego mountain their economic future depends on. But, each week I do run into a curious person who takes the time to get to know who I am.

Lufkin must be just too small a town for anyone to care. Conforming to their small society is necessary to live here. There is a church everywhere I walk, and this town is obviously dominated by the bible. All a person has to do is go to church, and their success is guaranteed. Kiss some butt and keep the mouth shut. No truth allowed. Just another typical small town in Texas. Life here is all about the ego.

The typical homeless person will do what is necessary to get by. Bible study is just a part of it. Eating out of dumpsters and "hustling"...(a form of begging based on a plan to attract donors), is a daily routine. They also have to exploit the Godtel for whatever the can get.

This homeless "shelter" is an excellent example of the truth behind what the churches offer. They try to establish a self-worth in their actions, but then find out that problems come with the effort to provide solutions. They are not truly committed to their task and find an easy way out, just as they do in their religion. The bible gives them an easy way out and they never have to deal with truth. As I quote a preacher in Tyler, "Christians don't want truth. They only want facts...from the bible."

The Godtel has rules in place to force their homeless to be like them. They must not wear shorts and must attend bible study twice a day. These type of rules do not help the homeless, but instead, help the Christians to have more self-evidence of their faith. Plus, a person does not have to be qualified to run this type of shelter...they only need to have a bible. I have seen those who preach to the homeless use a very soft voice as if that makes them more skilled.

I suggest that to improve this operation, Godtel would need to start at the beginning...which is truth. Rather than have an easy way out, the bible, they should know something about the homeless and have direct experience. Solving problems, such as addiction and depression, it might even help to care. I was told that they serve better meals than the Sally, but that is only for those who accept the rules in place. And I was also told that the manager and employees ate the same meals which gives them a reason to care about the quality of that meal. Take away that perspective and we all know how the meals would be.

If I had the chance to meet wth some leaders of this organization, we might be able to build something with equity, if I could convince them to care. They would have to stand up for truth, and there we have the problem. They only want to have everything go their way, and if that occurs, then they would like to see the homeless study the bible.

I give Christianity credit for their success in the past in dealing with addicts that are in prison. These people are in a position where they are faced with the reality of their predicament. Spirituality has value when it is one of the few options for them. What I try to offer is a new source of faith...one that gives them credit for their past and understands their problems and shortcomings. Quoting the bible will not do any of this, but if a person is desperate, it offers them a way out.

    Streets

When I first came to Lufkin I was quite confused. This town has been here a long time and the downtown has been remodeled a couple of times. The streets leading away from the downtown area run off parallel but then veer off at an angle. I walked in big circles the first week since I just could not remember the routes.

Once I had been there maybe ten days I got a city map. This explained the whole situation. I had my sleeping areas that were on concrete in lighted shopping centers, and the fast food restaurants were right around the corner. The Salvation Army was nearby, and I walked by the Godtel almost every day. 

There are several restaurants on the main street, Timberlake, that I would eat at...such as Taco Bell, Burger King, KFC, Bodacious Barbecue, and China Garden. My disability budget allowed me just enough to eat pretty well.

This whole area of town that I walk around...connecting the downtown area, the Sally, and Timberlake, was full of churches.

As I walked, I had my large backpack full of bedding and my small bag of dirty clothes and shower kit, as well as the luggage that I pulled behind me. If I wasn't pulling my bags, it was because I had them stashed in some bushes somewhere. But mostly I was carrying my bags. 

    Hangouts

        Taco Bell

I was crazy about this place. The employees there treated me as if I was special, and I could not get enough of the Nachos Bel Grande and crunchy tacos. I would get a small drink and refill it. So, I could have a decent meal for $5. It gave me a pretty fancy thing to look forward to each day. None of the other homeless had that option. Even if they did have some money coming in, it didn't go to something as silly as Taco Bell. It went toward beer or cigarettes, or drugs...or in some cases here in Lufkin...food.

That is one thing I noticed different here than in Tyler...a few of the homeless used food stamps. In Tyler, they all sold theirs for half value so they could use the money toward addictions. But still, the addictions go on here as well. Cigarettes have placed a stain on humanity that is huge. They reduce the quality of life so dramatically that it seems hopeless to help.

I was eating a few tacos in Taco Bell one day and one of my peers saw my bags parked out front. He came in and showed me his face. He had been mugged, and his face was swollen and his right eye was terribly red. The management there fed him at no charge. Leave it to a fast food reastaurant to take up the slack for the huge hole that the Christian church leaves behind. He was fed a quality meal...the same as me. Not a bologna sandwich.

        Burger King

This was a really nice spot for me. They had free wifi internet as well as a $.50 small drink for seniors. I could eat a big meal that I liked very much for $6.38, and a senior special for $3.00. This is where I did most of my writing. I had breakfast there and after some coffee, was ready to do some work. They keep this store very clean and the environment is ready for some creative writing.

I like their hamburgers, and the french fries are awesome. The rest of the menu is nice as well. I would receive donations of chicken nuggets from the drive-by locals when I was sleeping, and they were always good. The employees knew me by name and I never had to explain how I liked my burger.

Burger King was my stop almost every day. I considered the employees to be my friends.

        KFC

This place was great with a filling meal for $5.41. I was happy to stay within my budget and not cheat. I just cannot go wrong eating here. They are very generous and like to provide their customers with a box of food that is what they expect, or more. I also made this a regular stop...almost every day.

The employees treated me as if I were special. I was impressed and it appeared that they sincerely like their jobs. I think they know that they have happy customers. The manager, Ben, went out of his way to see that I was pleased. This food is very good, and is one of my favorites.

        Bodacious Barbecue

I met the owner of Bodacious Barbecue, who gave me a free lunch. It was awesome. He pulled up my books online while I ate and was impressed. We had a nice conversation and this will now be a weekly stop for me. The restaurant is a standout for this community, even though there are a couple of other barbecue stores nearby. The owner, Charles, invested alot and inside it is immaculate. I make this a regular stop.

        China Garden

I like Chinese buffets and this one is good. The owner was extremely nice to me and very interested. She knew me even when it was almost a month before I came back the second time, and asked me specific questions about my writing. She wanted me to know how nice many of the people are here in Lufkin. I think I fell in love with her.

        Chestnut Village

This shopping center is kept very clean and has nice stores in it. Plus, it has overhangs that protect me from rain...with several facings that managed most of the wind angles. I had three police cars pull up on me the first time, five the second, and one car several times. They had no idea what to do with me. So, I was treated quite politely. This is another feature that the homeless do not enjoy. They would be run off, or worse. The police department in Lufkin seemed to always be looking to protect me...calling me Mr. Welch.

This parking lot is nice and smooth. At night it has parking lot birds (kildeer) that run along gathering insects of some sort, while two kittens would sit under the lamp poles and wait for cicadas and grasshoppers  to drop. They were very wary of a couple of dogs who were on the prowl and were afraid of me, but once I opened a couple small cans of 9 Lives they became a bit friendlier.

This shopping center is where I slept. It has a Dollar General store that made things convenient, and the owners of several of the other stores were very nice to me. One is a Lockheed Martin office, also a Tuesday Morning store, Mr. G's Fashion store, a Dollstar dance and fitness place...that was nice-pretty girls all the time everywhere. Plus, there is a  Academy Of Hair Design that was very busy.

Overall, people appreciate what I stand for...someone who is taking a stand for what they believe in. Giving, sharing, and truth. It was common for people to be curious, and I received many donations of food. It really helps for a homeless man to have a neat and clean appearance.

Those who drove by would sometimes stop and talk, and offer me food or money. They wanted to know that I was doing OK.

        Women's Shelter Thrift Store/Salvation Army Thrift Store

The Women's Thrift Store was awesome. I still had a couple of shirts I needed to complete my small wardrobe, and they had them dirt cheap. I just had a nice feeling in this store. I like the way someone can hope to find something at a bargain like this. And after shopping this Cheap Thrift Store, a stop in at the Salvation Army Thrift Store would be a similar trip.

When The Sally would run a sale, I could buy a really nice long sleeve shirt for $1.50. The clothes I could get dirt cheap at this thrift store were exactly what I wanted, and the price was almost free. The quality of these clothes was very good, and I was happy to have them. This is a display of the donations that the Sally would receive.

        Fallas

The Fallas Thrift Store next door to the Women's Shelter store had new clothes that were a bit more expensive than the used next door, but still about a third of retail...or less. I found two pair of new Wrangler jeans that were exactly what I have been looking for but have not been able to find anymore...size 35 waste and 34 length. Now they only seem to come in 34/34 and 36/34. So, I bought them at $12.95 each...half price. Now I have jeans that fit. 

The store manager, an exotic beauty named Brenda, flat out treated me special. She is just so nice. I noticed that all the men treated her kind, and it is no wonder why. She is an example of what fancy clothes can look like on a moving sculpture. It was hard work running a store like this that is so busy.

This store was always so busy. The front parking spaces were always full. Brenda never had a problem with me playing solitaire next to her store. She had a difficult job that kept her busy, but she never let it show. This is a store that the community truly appreciates.

        Louis Bronaugh Park

This is a small park, but is very impressive with its circle of tall flagpoles and granite benches on the stone laid walkway. The city takes care of it as it is mowed and the trash bins are kept emptied. It has a parking lot that is shared with City Hall. This is a wonderful spot to have next to the impressive City Hall building. The homeless hang around here while they wait for the lunch doors to open at the Salvation Army.

Kenneth Askins along with his wife Teresa, on 9/16/2014, used their food stamps to get $25 worth of supplies and go to the park and feed whoever is there with sandwich makings. He had lettuce and tomato, ham and franks, and a bunch of other stuff. He had to get salt and pepper, and mayonaise...knowing that he would not be keeping the leftover. That is one of the major needs for the homeless...a manner of keeping refrigerables.

This was a very sincere effort on the part of Kenneth and his wife. This is not common among the typical homeless, as they are used to being trteated as worthless. He mentioned that he was told by angels to feed the people. The lunches at the Salvation Army are barely a meal at all, but that is no secret. If you are going to eat their meals for over a year like I did in Tyler, then you will certainly lose weight as I did.

In Tyler there were the times that a church would come in with a meal and it was usually slightly better than the typical Salvation army meal. Here in Lufkin it would seem that church groups would have lots of room of improvement on the meals and would welcome a chance. Even just buying the meal and delivering it would be nice. Fried chicken or pizza would be fine, but chinese would be even better.

Kenneth has been a drug addict for all his life. He is 51 years old and has many ups and downs. He is just now utilizing the bible to help his inner struggle and has some great results. He has a life story that includes family struggles with his parents and how he carried them throughout his life. His wife has been capable of dealing with him, although divorce was once a part of it.

His story is a common one among those who have not managed to stay focused on their path, and instead have fallen over and over. Running away seems to describe the choice when they are