21 levels of Self-Deception: THIRD EDITION by Tom Wallace - HTML preview

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wider universe. We don’t want to be just a ‘pillow’ — to give in and just say yes to everyone in order to avoid conflict. But it’s also very difficult to explain how it is not this way. All I can say on the subject is that we can have conflict (especially conflict with others) whilst still having an acceptance of the situation, and, most importantly, whilst still wishing the others to be at peace. Therefore, from the reasoning above, we should be wishing them serenity and joy. Often though, we pay lip-service to this narrative but live our lives in direct opposition! Somehow ‘the other’ is demonised as the embodiment of pure evil. So the normal rules of empathy, compassion and kindness — let alone basic civility — do not apply.

If you are a person not burdened by some physical or emotional problem and have grown up in relatively untroubled circumstances then self-acceptance is perhaps not a problem. In fact, the problem might be a blindness to any faults rather than a struggle to overcome. Perhaps though, more people than we are often aware of harbour issues that give them grief. This might land us with a bit of a paradox! You may feel a great need to change, but I’m suggesting that change might not be possible, or even necessary or desirable. Then again, other people do seem to change — and change radically. So how do they do it? Perhaps, more than likely, circumstances changed them and perhaps that’s allowed! Perhaps change can be viewed from within time — in the ‘parochial’ sense I’ve suggested — rather than trying to take the ‘view from eternity’. And that’s it! I’m afraid there isn’t anything else to offer except this watching and waiting — not trying too much

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