21 levels of Self-Deception: THIRD EDITION by Tom Wallace - HTML preview

T W E N T Y - O N E L E V E L S

stripped of all pretence. A quest for ‘authenticity’ is just a secular version of a spiritual journey. But the fact that there is a search for authenticity suggests that people remain inauthentic — and perhaps there’s no way to achieve the kind of unselfconscious existence that authenticity suggests. So I’d prefer to step back from saying that the letting go and honesty suggested above are about authenticiy and soul. Let’s just say they are about honesty.

That stripping away of the false selves is greatly helped by conversing with others — real, deep interaction. There is no true self except in relationship. So this is not an added extra — it is an essential part of our story. This is not to say that solitude, silence and retreat from the world are not good things. They can be very good. But then I’d say these aren’t actually a break from community. In fact, they can often be more rather than less intense community. There are always relationships of some kind. There is also our connection with nature and our connection with the wider universe. So I’d suggest that three relationships define our broader selves — our relationship with nature, our relationship with other people and our relationship with the universe as a whole.

What, then, should be let go? There might be a letting go of the need to be right; our need to have a good reputation; our need to be regarded as a person of integrity, responsibility or trustworthiness. How about letting go of negative thoughts about ourselves and others? What about giving up the need to be liked? The need to be loved? How about letting go of

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